Failing at the critical point of IVF

[clowe83]

Has anyone ever had issues with their SO not being able to provide a fresh sample the day of retrieval? I had mine yesterday and my husband got "performance anxiety." We were not asked to bank a sperm sample prior to the procedure and so any eggs they retrieved had to be frozen unfertilized. Because of scheduling at my office, I was told I would have to wait till next year for a transfer once my husband gives another sample. I am utterly devastated as I have been waiting for over a year just to get to the IVF stage. I just need some support and hope. My transfer was to be fresh which put my conception odds at almost 50%. Now that my eggs had to be frozen, my rate drops to 35%. I do not even know how to handle everything that happened yesterday. I cant help but feel anger and sadness. I know he did not do this on purpose but I've been through so much and this cycle reeked havoc on my body. I was so excited for retrieval and now all I can do is cry. Help.

[saraqueen]

Hey there! I feel so bad for you. I can understand what you are going through. Just don't stress over it hon! Stop crying, It will have a bad impact on your body. You need to take care of yourself. Stop thinking about it much. Everything will be fine. Have you tried other clinics? Sometimes the main reason behind this is the clinic. You should check other clinics as well. I know it's a very difficult journey but trust me at the end it's worth it.

[barbaraww]

Hi Clowe! I am so sorry about your failed cycle. I can understand the pain you are going through. You have to relax and take a deep breath. Everything will be fine. For the majority, it takes 2 or more cycles to get IVF successful so don't worry. Good Luck.

[gtddiane]

For those of you interested, Gretchen had been going through IVF for the last 4 years, and she is finally pregnant.  Listen to hear her story, and what tips helped her.  

[feliciapayton1]

Hey Clowe! I feel so bad for you. I am really sorry for everything you are going through. I can understand how hard it was for you. It's really not an easy thing to go through it again and again. But I don't think that's your husband's fault, your doctors should have guided you about it. The doctor that I am visiting right now takes care of everything. Even though we are having surrogacy but still the doctor makes sure that we know about everything. It's important for your doctor to share everything with you. I hope things work out for you. Just stay strong and don't give up. Good luck! Stay blessed! Bye!

[jennifer123]

I can understand that this must be frustrating for you. However, it is hard for your SO as well. therefore, dont worry. I am sure things will get better. You should take him to a therapist. So that he is able to work on his self and improve. I hope he is finally able to be comfortable during the retrieval.

[hindee]

I am extremely sorry to read this. I can understand how hard it would have been for you. I am in the same boat as yours. 2 of my IVF cycles failed for me. However, my friends think it is because of the doctors. The recent doctor I am visiting follows a proper procedure and are highly experienced. They do analyze the sperm beforehand as well in order to recommend medication for the improvement in the quality. Sending baby dust your way.

[hally]

That doesn't sound good. Have you consulted your clinic? They can help you out in this regard. I think it would be better if you get your medicals done. That will give you a better idea of what's going on. Good luck to you! I hope things get better for you!

[hannah1234]

Hey, I can understand that this must be very frustrating for you. However, I think you should be with your DH at this moment. It is not easy for everyone. Therefore, we need to be calm at this point. Hope that FET works for you. You never know what will happen. I myself opted for FET. Things are actually going pretty well at this point. Therefore, stay positive! Talk to your husband and make him feel comfortable. This is one thing I really liked about my clinic. They made sure that the patient was comfortable. It is due to this reason that both my retrieval and transfer went by smoothly. Good luck to you. Sending baby dust your way.

[hannah1234]

I agree with you on this. i think it is soo important to research. At times the doctors blame you for the mistakes that are not your fault. One of the reasons why I emphasize soo much on the importance of a good clinic. I have had a lot of such experiences. I used to be blamed for them always! However, I realized soon when I started researching about the treatment. Things are going well now.

[anna88]

I'm so sorry you've had to experience this. IVF cycles do not necessarily work out in the first attempts. So, it's not that big a deal. You shouldn't be discouraged and keep at it! You can still do this. My prayers are with you. Keep us posted on how it goes.

[dakota]

Ah, this was a tough read. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you! You sound like a strong woman, though. I hope you don't let it get to you. Don't let it bring you down! I expect you to fight through it. Keep the faith, don't get your hopes down. You gotta keep trying, honey. My prayers are with you. I know, it can be so frustrating. TTC journeys are so hard for some women. It was really difficult for me, as well. I needed all the support I could get. So, if you feel like talking, just hit me up. Good luck to you, and lots of baby dust.