random OAD thought of the day

[tonksy]

Feb 21, 2015 10:49:14 GMT -5 @priss08 said:

Feb 21, 2015 8:30:36 GMT -5 tomorrowisanotherday said:

Living in the South myself, I will have to agree with your statement. 2 to 4 kids is the norm and people are more likely to be okay with you having more than less. When DH and I discuss the idea of being OaD by choice (like when people ask me when we are having another while I am holding my 5 week old!), everyone says something to the effect of, "You can't have just one! " The stubborn part of me wants to be like, "Yes I can, just watch me!" but I'm a good Southern girl so I don't say that... to their face LoL

Lol Yes that sounds pretty typical. The most "interesting" comment I ever got was that if I didn't have at least three none of my children would ever "be worth anything". Whatever that's supposed to mean.

Wtf? Who would say that? I am so sorry priss. That is so uncalled for.

[eyenigh]

Feb 21, 2015 10:49:14 GMT -5 @priss08 said:

Feb 21, 2015 8:30:36 GMT -5 tomorrowisanotherday said:

Living in the South myself, I will have to agree with your statement. 2 to 4 kids is the norm and people are more likely to be okay with you having more than less. When DH and I discuss the idea of being OaD by choice (like when people ask me when we are having another while I am holding my 5 week old!), everyone says something to the effect of, "You can't have just one! " The stubborn part of me wants to be like, "Yes I can, just watch me!" but I'm a good Southern girl so I don't say that... to their face LoL

Lol Yes that sounds pretty typical. The most "interesting" comment I ever got was that if I didn't have at least three none of my children would ever "be worth anything". Whatever that's supposed to mean.

That made me laugh out loud. That implies that the children raise each other so they must be lousy parents. 

[graysweater]

Most people that have a child my sons age have at least 2 kids. All of our friends and family have at least 2 kids. My sons friends at school all have at least one sibling.

[Deleted]

Feb 21, 2015 23:45:05 GMT -5 eyenigh said:

Feb 21, 2015 10:49:14 GMT -5 @priss08 said:

Lol Yes that sounds pretty typical. The most "interesting" comment I ever got was that if I didn't have at least three none of my children would ever "be worth anything". Whatever that's supposed to mean.

That made me laugh out loud. That implies that the children raise each other so they must be lousy parents. 

You hit the nail on the head with that one.

[allydncr]

I feel like everyone with a kid our LO's age (IRL and my BMB) are pregnant or already have #2. But overall, it probably is declining. I mean, my dad is one of 8, and each of his siblings has 3-4 kids. But we have one, my brother has one (for now) and my other brother is likely OAD NBC. DH's siblings don't have any children (both by choice and not).

I can see the argument for having kids closer together, but not because it's easier. I think then you can just have a constant stream of bottles, diapers, and sleepless nights - not to mention it's easier to re-use the same items with multiple kids (i.e. car seats that expire). If I was to ever not be OAD, it's sort of terrifying to think about going through the newborn stage all over again now that we are getting a good night's sleep, no longer using bottles or dealing with baby food, and almost done with diapers. But having two littles at the same time is certainly not the easy part!

[violette]

Data time!

Ok, for the official super-nerdy answer, go to page three here:
www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr63/nvsr63_02.pdf

The short version is that the average woman had 3 kids around 1920. It dipped to 2 during the Depression, back up to 3 during the 1950s, and then dropped to just under 2 starting around 1970. It's been pretty steady since then.

But that doesn't really say anything about average family size. It's totally possible that in the 1970s, you had a strong norm of two kids for every woman, and now you're getting polarization - lots of women with no kids, and lots of bigger families.

This is definitely regional. There's a really interesting argument that on the coasts, people tend to believe that "adults make families", meaning that you should use birth control and delay marriage until you're educated and financially stable. But in the South and Midwest, it's more common to believe that "families make adults", meaning that kids give you a sense of purpose and make you responsible, so you'd better have them young or you'll never shape up. (An extreme version of that attitude might be what that obnoxious person was saying to @priss08 - you need a bunch of kids to be really responsible?)

More on that theory: www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126780035 The authors have a pretty political take on it, which I hope doesn't offend anyone.

[ECB]

While I know a few women who are also OAD, I also know a TON of families who have 3+ kids. I feel like we're all canceling each other out!

[Deleted]

Feb 24, 2015 11:51:07 GMT -5 violette said:

Data time!

Ok, for the official super-nerdy answer, go to page three here:
www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr63/nvsr63_02.pdf

The short version is that the average woman had 3 kids around 1920. It dipped to 2 during the Depression, back up to 3 during the 1950s, and then dropped to just under 2 starting around 1970. It's been pretty steady since then.

But that doesn't really say anything about average family size. It's totally possible that in the 1970s, you had a strong norm of two kids for every woman, and now you're getting polarization - lots of women with no kids, and lots of bigger families.

This is definitely regional. There's a really interesting argument that on the coasts, people tend to believe that "adults make families", meaning that you should use birth control and delay marriage until you're educated and financially stable. But in the South and Midwest, it's more common to believe that "families make adults", meaning that kids give you a sense of purpose and make you responsible, so you'd better have them young or you'll never shape up. (An extreme version of that attitude might be what that obnoxious person was saying to @priss08 - you need a bunch of kids to be really responsible?)

More on that theory: www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126780035 The authors have a pretty political take on it, which I hope doesn't offend anyone.

This is so on point it's not even funny. The assumption of some people is that we'll just have a house with one child and two adults that act like children or something. :/

[helenahhandbasket]

Facinating article violette-- thanks for posting.

@priss08-- ugg-- I am sorry you are getting all sorts of weird comments on the size of your family. That must be so frustrating.

[mandapanda1382]

violette I was just going to go looking for that article. I knew I had seen something about it.

I think for me and my area, religion plays into not just having one kid. I am part of a religion that pushes family, family, family - which is a good thing, but some/most tend to think of "family" as having more kids. I have told people we are probably OAD and they all look at me strangely.