I want to emphasize that this is not a board move. It may involve a few hours of downtime, but we will still be with Proboards and none of the forum data will be affected. It will simply be the paid version of the forums and this won't be happening right away either. This is a marathon, not a sprint.
Reiterating this. I've spoke with an account rep at forums.net and he assured me that it will involve minimal downtime- perhaps a few hours.
And all the content will be coming with us- so you won't lose post history, your points, your love-tits, member ranking, etc
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
I'm sure it was already decided before the poll even.
I mean really.
I am not sure how to fully answer this, but I am going to try my full-truthful best.
When we proposed the name, we had been vetting and dealing with logistics for the suggestions and our ideas a lot. We did feel pretty confident that Then Comes Family was going to be popular, logistically worked (availability, etc), and we liked it.
Before we proposed it on the site for feedback, we added the domains to our cart to protect them and took the social media usernames. We have our tin foils hats on strong enough to think there was a chance that someone might reserve them as a tactical move because we posted publicly that we liked them.
Once we got such positive feedback in the original name post, we were happy because having the name decided meant we were done with that huge task and could move forward. But, one poster (sorry, I cannot remember to tag) suggested that the positive replies were skewing our results to what we wanted. We realized there was a honeymoon phase and a bandwagon thing possibly happening, so we wanted to start a blind, anonymous poll. We hid the results and ran it for four days because starting it midday Friday was not enough for us- we wanted lots of responses.
Could we see the results as they came in and know that the name was supported? Yes. Have we now bought the domains and filed for the trademark? Yes. But we did not do anything permanent or costly until we knew for certain we had buy-in from our community. This place does not work without that.
I understand healthy levels of cynicism and skepticism and all of that, but please know that we are not looking to dupe anyone.
Life doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes. But we keep living anyway, we rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes.
I'm sure it was already decided before the poll even.
I mean really.
I am not sure how to fully answer this, but I am going to try my full-truthful best.
When we proposed the name, we had been vetting and dealing with logistics for the suggestions and our ideas a lot. We did feel pretty confident that Then Comes Family was going to be popular, logistically worked (availability, etc), and we liked it.
Before we proposed it on the site for feedback, we added the domains to our cart to protect them and took the social media usernames. We have our tin foils hats on strong enough to think there was a chance that someone might reserve them as a tactical move because we posted publicly that we liked them.
Once we got such positive feedback in the original name post, we were happy because having the name decided meant we were done with that huge task and could move forward. But, one poster (sorry, I cannot remember to tag) suggested that the positive replies were skewing our results to what we wanted. We realized there was a honeymoon phase and a bandwagon thing possibly happening, so we wanted to start a blind, anonymous poll. We hid the results and ran it for four days because starting it midday Friday was not enough for us- we wanted lots of responses.
Could we see the results as they came in and know that the name was supported? Yes. Have we now bought the domains and filed for the trademark? Yes. But we did not do anything permanent or costly until we knew for certain we had buy-in from our community. This place does not work without that.
I understand healthy levels of cynicism and skepticism and all of that, but please know that we are not looking to dupe anyone.
Edited: to make sentences that make sense
This was too long. it doesn't matter. It's quite clear there is a direction that you all want to go and are going. I will be here until I'm uncomfortable.
Last Edit: Feb 23, 2015 22:53:36 GMT -5 by McBenny
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
Okay. I am glad you will be here, McBenny, and I am sorry I do not know how to explain myself in shorter words and not be a jerk.
I gave you the actual play-by-play, but the TL;DR = no, we did not have it fully decided before the poll. If response had been unfavorable, we would have moved on.
Life doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes. But we keep living anyway, we rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes.
Okay. I am glad you will be here, McBenny, and I am sorry I do not know how to explain myself in shorter words and not be a jerk.
I gave you the actual play-by-play, but the TL;DR = no, we did not have it fully decided before the poll. If response had been unfavorable, we would have moved on.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
Okay. I am glad you will be here, McBenny, and I am sorry I do not know how to explain myself in shorter words and not be a jerk.
I gave you the actual play-by-play, but the TL;DR = no, we did not have it fully decided before the poll. If response had been unfavorable, we would have moved on.
Life doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes. But we keep living anyway, we rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes.
Post by eurydicenymph on Feb 24, 2015 9:20:04 GMT -5
Wow. That's not very inclusive of the loss community. For some people, they fight and fight for a family, it doesn't just come next. I'm disappointed. I thought the loss community was being considered in this.
Wow. That's not very inclusive of the loss community. For some people, they fight and fight for a family, it doesn't just come next. I'm disappointed. I thought the loss community was being considered in this.
I must respectfully disagree, as a loss mom and the one who suggested the name. I know the admins definitely took the loss community into consideration (and they have loss histories themselves).
I completely understand how complicated emotions around loss are, and I know some may not be able to separate the word "family" from "children". But I don't think you can accuse anyone here of not considering the loss community.
Wow. That's not very inclusive of the loss community. For some people, they fight and fight for a family, it doesn't just come next. I'm disappointed. I thought the loss community was being considered in this.
How is it not inclusive? I thought they already explained that it doesn't mean a literal family, more like a community family.
If you had IF or multiple losses and just found "Then Comes Family" in a websearch would you know that it doesn't mean a literal family? No. If I saw that in a search I would keep moving because it sounds like a place for all of the people who are pregnant. Not fighting for a child.
If a tagline were to make it more clear, fine. But I do feel like the name isn't considerate of those who are struggling to get to the "then comes family" point.
How is it not inclusive? I thought they already explained that it doesn't mean a literal family, more like a community family.
If you had IF or multiple losses and just found "Then Comes Family" in a websearch would you know that it doesn't mean a literal family? No. If I saw that in a search I would keep moving because it sounds like a place for all of the people who are pregnant. Not fighting for a child.
If a tagline were to make it more clear, fine. But I do feel like the name isn't considerate of those who are struggling to get to the "then comes family" point.
We all ended up on The Dump though, despite the fact that for some of us, we've never been or stayed pregnant long enough to have a "Bump".
I'd personally like to think that having admins who have all experienced either IF or loss (or both), that we tried to be sensitive to the loss and IF community as we worked on finding a name that was inclusive. That's why many of the names were struck from the original suggestion list- because they were about moms/mommies/pregnancy/belly/babies.
Last Edit: Feb 24, 2015 9:57:07 GMT -5 by NariaDreaming
5 years TTC 2 c/p's 2 failed IUIs/1 cancelled IVF 1 failed IVF 1 failed FET BFP 12/1/15. We said goodbye to Tiny 1/4/16 Fresh cycle #3 2/16 8R/7M/5F BFP 5/12/16 We said goodbye to flutter on 5/27 and poprock on 5/28 BFP 8/30/16 We said goodbye to Samuel 10/3 (Trisomy 16) Moving on to Donor Embryos BFP 12/20/16 We said goodbye to Turtle 12/30
Wow. That's not very inclusive of the loss community. For some people, they fight and fight for a family, it doesn't just come next. I'm disappointed. I thought the loss community was being considered in this.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I am sorry that you don't feel included with this name.
I, on the other hand, find it incredibly offensive when people imply that my husband and I were not a family for the 4 years we struggled with infertility just because we didn't have kids. We just as much a family then as we are now.
I did not mean to offend you or imply that you are not a family with your husband. I never said that. We have been struggling for years to have children as well. My point is that without a tagline specifying that this is a place for families of all kinds it does not feel inclusive of those who are fighting to have the type of family that they want. But that is just my opinion. Seeing the name hurt my heart a little. But I did not mean offense.
Thanks ladies for working so hard on the site. I'm sure it's not easy since we are all in different places of our lives. But the best part of this site is interacting with others who over the years become part of your family. So the name Then Comes Family describes us perfectly.
I think it's really unfair to accuse the admins of not being inclusive to everyone here. Like, really unfair. They have worried about inclusion almost to a fault. eurydicenymph, did you read the thread where they explained the reasoning behind the name choice? I can understand personally not liking it, but again, not fair to accuse them of disregarding the loss community when it's pretty clear they did anything but.
Andplusalso they specifically stated that there will be a tagline that explains, concisely, the meaning of the name.
This was stated explicitly, but I'm sure it will come up several more times because there will be several more posters who won't bother to read the OP or the other threads.
I think it's really unfair to accuse the admins of not being inclusive to everyone here. Like, really unfair. They have worried about inclusion almost to a fault. eurydicenymph, did you read the thread where they explained the reasoning behind the name choice? I can understand personally not liking it, but again, not fair to accuse them of disregarding the loss community when it's pretty clear they did anything but.
Andplusalso they specifically stated that there will be a tagline that explains, concisely, the meaning of the name.
This was stated explicitly, but I'm sure it will come up several more times because there will be several more posters who won't bother to read the OP or the other threads.
I see both sides of it. Adding the tagline will definitely help once we nail that down.
5 years TTC 2 c/p's 2 failed IUIs/1 cancelled IVF 1 failed IVF 1 failed FET BFP 12/1/15. We said goodbye to Tiny 1/4/16 Fresh cycle #3 2/16 8R/7M/5F BFP 5/12/16 We said goodbye to flutter on 5/27 and poprock on 5/28 BFP 8/30/16 We said goodbye to Samuel 10/3 (Trisomy 16) Moving on to Donor Embryos BFP 12/20/16 We said goodbye to Turtle 12/30
Post by manderslvt on Feb 24, 2015 12:34:10 GMT -5
I love the name, and the sentiment behind it. Thank you to everyone who is working so hard to create an amazing community here. It is so exciting to be here to see the beginning!
Post by luvmyponies on Feb 24, 2015 15:10:15 GMT -5
I see both sides too... I agree with eurydicenymph, that if someone was searching the web and found a site called "Then Comes Family," they may think it's only for people with the traditional sense of a 1950s family with a husband, wife, and 2.3 kids.
With that being said, I actually love the name, with the right tagline. I too have been offended that my husband and I aren't considered a family just because we don't have kids. I love that this is a community that recognizes and celebrates families of all shapes and sizes.
I have been out of data for a few weeks and have only lurked while having WiFi so it seems alooot has been going on. I'm so glad that we have settled on a name, it feels as though we are progressing nicely. I do agree with some pps that it doesn't include loss mamas as much as I would like it to but it seems as though that will be addressed in a tagline. At first I was put off by the name but now that I see the explanation of our community is family and so on I'm being won over by it a little at a time. One question that I have about when we switch sites...will the page just redirect and we will still be logged in? I must admit that I stay logged in at all times so I never re-log in and confess i may or may not remember my password. If we do have to re-log in is there a way to recover your password if it's forgotten? Oh I hope so lol. Thanks for all of your hard work ladies! I love how we are coming closer to an official site!
Post by theophania on Feb 24, 2015 15:24:14 GMT -5
rae80407, I don't know if you'll have to login again or not, but there is a way to recover your password if need be. I believe there's a forgot password link on the login screen. It will be some time before we reach the point of switching to the paid version of the forums though. We have a lot to work on in the meantime.
rae80407, I don't know if you'll have to login again or not, but there is a way to recover your password if need be. I believe there's a forgot password link on the login screen. It will be some time before we reach the point of switching to the paid version of the forums though. We have a lot to work on in the meantime.
Thank you very much for responding. I was worried!
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