Post by anotherdreamer on Aug 7, 2016 20:45:45 GMT -5
I usually get on here and FB with my phone but it's acting up so things aren't loading right :/ on my Kindle now. Long weekend, we took the kids to the pool yesterday and the zoo today, and I am reminded that... yeah, I am out of shape, omg. I am feeling it... The kids all had a great time though, that's what matters right?
Oh and not to jinx it but the last two days we woke up to clothed children! They've been stripping butt naked every morning, so this is a win. Instead of putting zipper pajamas on backwards (they just unzipped each other) we tried inside out, and they have yet to figure it out. I doubt it's the most comfortable, but neither is poop/pee everywhere from them streaking.
I called Finkle this morning to try and talk logistics about R starting PreK and doing pickups/dropoffs. I told him that i was going to try and switch my work hours so that I would be able to come in later so that I could ensure that R makes it to school okay and skip my lunch hour to be able to run to the school when it's over to grab him and my niece so that they can go to my house until he or I gets off work for good (my older nephews would be at the house to watch him for an hour or two). He blew up in my face and told me that he wasn't helping me out at all and that I was on my own during "my days" and that he didn't care what I did because I'm the one that took him to court to drain him of all his funds (that he still hasn't given me) and that it's my own problem. Like, WTF dude, this is to ensure that Reid is picked up and dropped off safely (my house is in walking distance to the school) and that would help him also if he wasn't able to get him to school on time or pick him up.
I ended up hanging up on him and writing my lawyer about a "proposal" for me to drop the custody case and all the back child support that he owes me in exchange for me to have sole custody/visitation except for Wednesday's and every other weekend (plus him cover half of daycare for N and medical expenses and $300/mo for BOTH kids). That is beyond reasonable, right???
I called Finkle this morning to try and talk logistics about R starting PreK and doing pickups/dropoffs. I told him that i was going to try and switch my work hours so that I would be able to come in later so that I could ensure that R makes it to school okay and skip my lunch hour to be able to run to the school when it's over to grab him and my niece so that they can go to my house until he or I gets off work for good (my older nephews would be at the house to watch him for an hour or two). He blew up in my face and told me that he wasn't helping me out at all and that I was on my own during "my days" and that he didn't care what I did because I'm the one that took him to court to drain him of all his funds (that he still hasn't given me) and that it's my own problem. Like, WTF dude, this is to ensure that Reid is picked up and dropped off safely (my house is in walking distance to the school) and that would help him also if he wasn't able to get him to school on time or pick him up.
I ended up hanging up on him and writing my lawyer about a "proposal" for me to drop the custody case and all the back child support that he owes me in exchange for me to have sole custody/visitation except for Wednesday's and every other weekend (plus him cover half of daycare for N and medical expenses and $300/mo for BOTH kids). That is beyond reasonable, right???
Hes such an ass. You think he'd be willing to give up custody if he didn't have to pay you the back child support? If he'd seriously do that, he's even more of a shitty father. I absolutely think you deserve full custody and that that is the safest, healthiest option for the kids, but for him to just willingly give up custody (from the perspective of my DH, who fought non stop for partial custody), that makes him the worst father.
I called Finkle this morning to try and talk logistics about R starting PreK and doing pickups/dropoffs. I told him that i was going to try and switch my work hours so that I would be able to come in later so that I could ensure that R makes it to school okay and skip my lunch hour to be able to run to the school when it's over to grab him and my niece so that they can go to my house until he or I gets off work for good (my older nephews would be at the house to watch him for an hour or two). He blew up in my face and told me that he wasn't helping me out at all and that I was on my own during "my days" and that he didn't care what I did because I'm the one that took him to court to drain him of all his funds (that he still hasn't given me) and that it's my own problem. Like, WTF dude, this is to ensure that Reid is picked up and dropped off safely (my house is in walking distance to the school) and that would help him also if he wasn't able to get him to school on time or pick him up.
I ended up hanging up on him and writing my lawyer about a "proposal" for me to drop the custody case and all the back child support that he owes me in exchange for me to have sole custody/visitation except for Wednesday's and every other weekend (plus him cover half of daycare for N and medical expenses and $300/mo for BOTH kids). That is beyond reasonable, right???
Hes such an ass. You think he'd be willing to give up custody if he didn't have to pay you the back child support? If he'd seriously do that, he's even more of a shitty father. I absolutely think you deserve full custody and that that is the safest, healthiest option for the kids, but for him to just willingly give up custody (from the perspective of my DH, who fought non stop for partial custody), that makes him the worst father.
I don't know? He is constantly throwing the CS stuff in my face and and always saying how "he contributes to ME". No, dickwad, this is for your kids. It has nothing to do with me. It's a huge argument anytime I talk to him about something that involves money. Like me having to sign R up for soccer and giving the teacher $50 for school supplies. He threw a big bitchfit over that, trying to say that I had the money and that he didn't. I'm constantly having to dig myself out of a financial hole. Plus there is also the fact that both him and the kids tell me about him constantly spanking them. For the little shit, too. He doesn't know how to discipline them without hitting them. It drives me BSC and he says "Well, you were never spanked as a kid and looked how you turned out". Listen here MF'er I WAS spanked when it was absolutely necessary and not for every minute indiscretion. I can literally give my kids a look and change the tone of my voice and they fix their shit. If that doesn't work, then it's timeout. I HAVE spanked Reid but it is very rare and under extreme circumstances (I hated doing it). Also, Reid begs not to go to his dads. He wants to stay with me. He wants to live with me instead of him. His words every time he has to go over there.
Hes such an ass. You think he'd be willing to give up custody if he didn't have to pay you the back child support? If he'd seriously do that, he's even more of a shitty father. I absolutely think you deserve full custody and that that is the safest, healthiest option for the kids, but for him to just willingly give up custody (from the perspective of my DH, who fought non stop for partial custody), that makes him the worst father.
I don't know? He is constantly throwing the CS stuff in my face and and always saying how "he contributes to ME". No, dickwad, this is for your kids. It has nothing to do with me. It's a huge argument anytime I talk to him about something that involves money. Like me having to sign R up for soccer and giving the teacher $50 for school supplies. He threw a big bitchfit over that, trying to say that I had the money and that he didn't. I'm constantly having to dig myself out of a financial hole. Plus there is also the fact that both him and the kids tell me about him constantly spanking them. For the little shit, too. He doesn't know how to discipline them without hitting them. It drives me BSC and he says "Well, you were never spanked as a kid and looked how you turned out". Listen here MF'er I WAS spanked when it was absolutely necessary and not for every minute indiscretion. I can literally give my kids a look and change the tone of my voice and they fix their shit. If that doesn't work, then it's timeout. I HAVE spanked Reid but it is very rare and under extreme circumstances (I hated doing it). Also, Reid begs not to go to his dads. He wants to stay with me. He wants to live with me instead of him. His words every time he has to go over there.
Im glad Reid has realized that youre the safe one. Id go through the proposal and see what he says. Whats the worst that can happen? If it turns into a court case, Id see about having Reid to go to a child psychologist who can state that he is afraid to go there.
bullybutt , can you handle things financially if that arrangement were to work out? It sounds like it would be worth it but you don't want to make things too tight either. He is such a vindictive, terrible person I can't imagine he'd give up time with the kids without a fight. He's truly the worst. Like, I think, how can this guy be any more of an asshole? And then he manages it.
That really bums me out that he spanks the kids frequently and they're feeling uncomfortable.
I've been handling it. He contributes nothing to us except for half of the daycare (which doesn't matter now that R is starting PreK). I need to tighten up some of my frivolous spending which I have done recently, but I can get that lined out. I have my car payment and my mortgage and 1 credit card (that doesn't have a very high limit) in my debt pocket. I don't need him and I think that is what pisses him off the most.
He also just called me to ask if I was taking the next 2 days off to spend with R before he starts school. Uh, no! Of course, those are my 2 days to have the kids and he is wanting to take them to the zoo or do a "family day". WTF...BIPOLAR!
I've been handling it. He contributes nothing to us except for half of the daycare (which doesn't matter now that R is starting PreK). I need to tighten up some of my frivolous spending which I have done recently, but I can get that lined out. I have my car payment and my mortgage and 1 credit card (that doesn't have a very high limit) in my debt pocket. I don't need him and I think that is what pisses him off the most.
He also just called me to ask if I was taking the next 2 days off to spend with R before he starts school. Uh, no! Of course, those are my 2 days to have the kids and he is wanting to take them to the zoo or do a "family day". WTF...BIPOLAR!
In that case I would go for it. Do you think he might have mental health issues? He truly does seem on one end of the spectrum or another. Not a lot of middle ground with that guy.
No there isn't. He is like George Kastanza in the fact that "if you believe the lie is the truth, then it's true". He seriously thinks his actions are the other person's problem and not his. He sees the way he treats people as normal and fair. He will rationalize and justify being a POS. It literally blows my mind. He is very good at making you think that he is decent one minute then shoving in your face that he is truly an asshole. It's the worst mindfuck and self abuse to go through.
Or at the very least, hey wants to manipulate you if he can't have you. I think if you can distance you self as much as possible from the POS it will be best for you and the kids. You never know what is going to set him off or which side of the coin you are going to get with him.
Or at the very least, hey wants to manipulate you if he can't have you. I think if you can distance you self as much as possible from the POS it will be best for you and the kids. You never know what is going to set him off or which side of the coin you are going to get with him.
Or at the very least, hey wants to manipulate you if he can't have you. I think if you can distance you self as much as possible from the POS it will be best for you and the kids. You never know what is going to set him off or which side of the coin you are going to get with him.
I agree with this.
I think that he has "some" love for me in whatever screwed up way. He can't control me and it drives him BSC because I'm pretty sure I'm the only girl that has pushed against him and stood up for myself (even though it doesn't sound like it after all I put up with). It really sucks because a part of me still loves him even after all the crap he has done to me. I hate him also. A lot.
bullybutt , he never ceases to amaze me with how deep his assholery can go. Those kids are so lucky to have you, I would try your proposal, because it sounds like it would be better for the kids. It's heartbreaking that R doesn't want to go there. I really hope karma bites Finkle in the ass one day.
My lawyer is out of town at the moment but said that we will discuss when he gets back. R called me yesterday and said "Mom, Dad picked me up " He was not happy about it and I told him not to worry because I would be picking him up 'today'. We go to the Meet The Teacher tonight at his school so that he can see his new classroom and teacher. I hope I can keep it together. I'm such a sap at the most inopportune moments.
DS1 finally learned how to tie his shoes. He struggled for a long time with it and I felt incompetent because I felt like I wasn't teaching him clearly enough but he finally did it by himself! We will spend the next 3 weeks practicing so he can wear his new laced sneakers to kindergarten and I hopefully won't have to spend the money on a new pair of Velcro lol.
bullybutt , he never ceases to amaze me with how deep his assholery can go. Those kids are so lucky to have you, I would try your proposal, because it sounds like it would be better for the kids. It's heartbreaking that R doesn't want to go there. I really hope karma bites Finkle in the ass one day.
My lawyer is out of town at the moment but said that we will discuss when he gets back. R called me yesterday and said "Mom, Dad picked me up " He was not happy about it and I told him not to worry because I would be picking him up 'today'. We go to the Meet The Teacher tonight at his school so that he can see his new classroom and teacher. I hope I can keep it together. I'm such a sap at the most inopportune moments.
Keep us posted on what your lawyer says. Hopefully her has some ideas about ways to get you more custody. At least he's responsive and seems to be much better better than your previous asshat lawyer.
Well Finkle and I went to look at a new daycare facility for N. We both really liked it and I put in an application for her to be enrolled. He wanted to 21 question me about why I wanted her in there. Ugh, so exhausting. Like dude, you already know the answer and you agree so why do we have to do this song and dance? He just likes to antagonize every fucking thing. But I got what I wanted and she will be starting the new daycare on the 22nd.
Well Finkle and I went to look at a new daycare facility for N. We both really liked it and I put in an application for her to be enrolled. He wanted to 21 question me about why I wanted her in there. Ugh, so exhausting. Like dude, you already know the answer and you agree so why do we have to do this song and dance? He just likes to antagonize every fucking thing. But I got what I wanted and she will be starting the new daycare on the 22nd.
So, I was reading this, laughing and then had to explain the difference between buttdial and booty call to MIL and now my sides hurt from how funny THAT was.
Post by walterjenne on Aug 10, 2016 19:30:00 GMT -5
DS spent the weekend with my parents, then they brought him back and stayed a couple of days. This is his first day without grandma and grandpa and he's been a terror. I feel like we need to detox fro the word yes, snacks, and electronics. He's been so bad and I'm so exhausted from growing a human, that I feel like today was survival mode.
Please tell me your toddlers are also terrors when they've had extended spoiling, and this is just a product of a quiet and relaxing weekend.
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