CPW: Thoughts on staying here

[mrspipp]

I'm currently undecided. I don't like change, and I also can't figure this new place out.

[lizblue]

I'm taking a little bump break right now and will check in here. I don't know why but the recent actions of TB is hitting me really hard. How fucking awful to suddenly ban a specific group of posters - all of them long term, committed people who were the foundation of their community. They were friends and real people and TB does not give a fuck. It makes me feel like it could happen anywhere on TB and it makes me feel not safe or comfortable there. When my 24 hours of silence is over, I may bring some of this to our board if Petra does open up a thread about it. It's not the guidelines that I'm upset about (as ill conceived as they seem to be) - it's the complete and utter disregard for long term members and their actual, real life relationships.

It feels petty and targeted, and counter productive.

Long story short - I'll be checking in here and I'm glad this place exists in case something really crappy happens on TTCAL and we have to suddenly move.

[mrsoscarfelix]

Undecided here as well. I really liked the bump, but when I think about it - it's really the people that I really liked. I would like to stay on TB but will likely go where ever the group ends up.

[Deleted]

Also undecided. I agree 100% with lizblue and others that the main issue here is how the longterm community has been affected, all in the name of high ratings and not pissing off the newbs. FTR, I'm not saying I consider myself longterm yet in terms of TTCAL but I was very active in my BMB before my loss, and this sense of what-the-fuckery is rippling across all boards. Stating the obvious, but there's just no simple resolution.

[therealbug]

Jan 14, 2015 9:46:34 GMT -5 lizblue said:

I'm taking a little bump break right now and will check in here. I don't know why but the recent actions of TB is hitting me really hard. How fucking awful to suddenly ban a specific group of posters - all of them long term, committed people who were the foundation of their community. They were friends and real people and TB does not give a fuck. It makes me feel like it could happen anywhere on TB and it makes me feel not safe or comfortable there. When my 24 hours of silence is over, I may bring some of this to our board if Petra does open up a thread about it. It's not the guidelines that I'm upset about (as ill conceived as they seem to be) - it's the complete and utter disregard for long term members and their actual, real life relationships.

It feels petty and targeted, and counter productive.

Long story short - I'll be checking in here and I'm glad this place exists in case something really crappy happens on TTCAL and we have to suddenly move.

Well said Liz.  It sickens me what is happening over there.  When you read through Parenting and TTGP and see the bans pretty much as they were happening, it is scary.  The fact that the BGs decided to IP ban the mods also speaks volumes. IP bans are not handed out lightly and many, many trolls do not get an IP ban - just a username. My understanding is that the mods have to build a really strong case to present when they try to get someone IP banned. With these instal-bans, the BGs made them all IP bans also. The BGs decided to clean house and permanently make it so the core of the boards can't come back. 

Honestly, if the mods violated secret mod shit, wouldn't that warrant losing mod status and not an utter and complete ban? Think about it. This was a severe punishment for no rational reason. 

My concerns about this place is I have been part of an online community that was forced to migrate from their host site (MSN Groups) when they shut everything down. That community was massive, had a huge number of active members, and had a constant influx of people. It died. A new site was set up for it on a board similar to this while the techie members built a website and tried to set things up for "newbies" to find us.  We never got the traffic to keep the board alive and thriving. You need new members because regulars and oldies will eventually move on. 


I will admit that I have been feeling very disconnected from the majority of people on TTCAL. I don't recognize the names of many of the newbies and I just don't relate to many of them. I'm in a completely different place as I look at a very real possibility that I will never ovulate again.  If this place has enough active people, I could find it being my holding place as I figure out where to go from here. 

[4furrypaws]

I don't like change either. I feel like a mixture of what Bug/Liz/Kate said.

I'm so confused...I hate the BGs...HATE them for doing this!

[4furrypaws]

heartbot Yeah, I'm worried about it dying off too.

A anti glitter/rainbow app would be awesome!!

[leloyd]

I am also undecided. I tried out some other sites/apps first and left because it was all squee and no facts. I love TB because of the honesty and knowledge that I didn't find elsewhere. I am shocked at the way the BGs handled this and it makes me pretty leery of what kind of community they are attempting to foster. The community of ladies on TB, and TTCAL in particular, is what got me through all of this. I am worried about newbs who won't be able to get that same experience.

Also, An anti-glitter/rainbow app would be great.

[eurydicenymph]

Let's acknowledge the elephant in the room:

The new TOU had a lot to do with us. Plain and fucking simple. The majority of those new rules did not apply on other boards, they applied to us and TTGP. I feel like we had addressed the issue that happened with Mr. and Mrs. Troll and there hasn't been another major incidence since. But the BGs decided that we need to all be carebears and shit rainbows and glitter and that is NOT what TB, or our board especially, is about.

TBH I am really hurt that we lost our board, our safe place, our place to tell-it-like-it-is and hear the actual, fucking truth instead of having glitter blown up our asses. "Oh, my sister's friend's second cousisn's wife got pregnant while in your exact same situation, so there is hope!" is not for me, and if that is what the BGs want, to be another BabyCenter, than let them lay in the bed that they just shit in.

I posted undecided. I loved TTCAL on TB. If things are put right (and atm I'm not even sure what that would mean) I would return. If I have to hang out here to be with you lovely ladies, I'll hang out here.

[therealbug]

In case anyone has not seen the only post that BumpMay has made on TB in response to what is going on: forums.thebump.com/discussion/12521213/hilarious#latest

Please note that the one person that disagreed (politely and within TOU) was banned almost immediately after posting.

That is the place that the Bump is now.

Remember - radio silence. Do not engage, do not respond

[therealbug]

And they just wiped out the history for Parenting.

[rmpar29]

Jan 14, 2015 12:46:17 GMT -5 therealbug said:

In case anyone has not seen the only post that BumpMay has made on TB in response to what is going on: forums.thebump.com/discussion/12521213/hilarious#latest

Please note that the one person that disagreed (politely and within TOU) was banned almost immediately after posting.

That is the place that the Bump is now.

Remember - radio silence. Do not engage, do not respond

Well, that was an interesting read.  Funny how some get banned right away, but others that clearly break the TOU are not.    What a shitstorm this is!

[mrspipp]

therealbug That post made me angry, but also sad. TB, specifically TTCAL, was a place of such comfort for me. However, it's also a place where you can get real answers and not be mollycoddled if you are being ridiculous. It's really sad to see that they want to change the entire culture.

[littleducky]

I've only been around for a few weeks (although I was active on other TB boards in the past), so I don't know a lot of you the way you know each other. I have really enjoyed getting to know you ladies over that past few weeks though and I so sincerely appreciate having this board available as a resource during a really, really difficult time. I am absolutely disgusted about the way TB leadership (whoever they are - I don't know anything about their inner workings) handled this situation and it saddens me that people were banned who were part of their communities for such a long time. I don't have strong feelings about whether the community stays here or not, but I would question whether people are likely to be able to find this resource on proboards as easily as they would be able to find it on TB boards. Again - I haven't been around long and I don't want to step on any toes. I know the people who have been active posters for a long time have invested a lot of time, energy, and emotion in this community and want to do whatever they can to protect it.

ETA:  I voted undecided.

[mholmes92]

I chose undecided because I also don't like change. This is a new place that's going to take some time to get used to, I worry that new members wont be able to find us. I also worry that if/when new members do find us that some of them could really cause some pain in this community, and I'm not sure how we can regulate that over here. But at the same time TB is changing too. I was just learning my way over there and with the new rules, I'm not sure what changed and what's the same. I'm also worried that the bump gods got a little power hungry and I don't want to be there if they just ban people because of a disagreement. I disagree with people all the time I don't tell them that they need to GTFO of my house, we handle that shit like adults. Finally, I enjoy spending my time with you ladies. ALL OF YOU. I have a feeling that not every one will chose just 1 place

[sarcaztic10]

I am undecided. TTCAL on TB has been my home for so long. I know that without a pretty constant stream of new members coming in this board will not last long. I am so upset at what is happening on TB but I am torn because I don't want to condone or support what the BG's are doing by continuing to participate as normal but I also still want the sense of community that TB offered. I am so pissed at the BG's I really cant even express how upset I am that they are making our board and TB in general an unsafe place to tell people the truth in a frank and honest way. I refuse to be a P&R person because that is not who I am.

I also feel like Bug said something that has been weighing on my mind for a long time. I love TTCAL but I am finding it so hard to connect with the main board anymore. I don't recognize anyone anymore and I get this overwhelming feeling of being left behind. At the same time I still want to be there and support the ladies of TTCAL.

I would say more but I am slammed at work. Why is it that this stuff happens when i have so little time?!

[lizblue]

I sort of disagree that TTCAL or Parenting was the issue with newbies with hurt feelings. TTCAL has a few here and there, but Parenting has practically none. Parenting was a well established board with a huge amount of regulars, who, from what I can tell, disagreed with one another from time to time but very rarely flamed a newbie right into outer-space.

Which is why this is especially icky to me. TTGP and BMBs and 1st trimester had wayyyyyyyyy more upset/hurt feelings. Like on the daily, like on the hour. I lurk there for shits and giggles to watch the drama sometimes (FFWC?). So to target Parenting the way that they did seems especially vindictive and petty and personal. And it makes me really angry on their behalf. I never had any illusion that this was some free, democratic website, but I didn't realize how it had the ability or inclination to implement mass censorship. It's so gross.

I do agree that the new "guidelines" in general were due to specific boards (the ones mentioned above and us to an extent), and I also think the guidelines are terribly misguided and totally don't show understanding of how online forums work. You can't just say "HEY CULTURE THAT HAS EXISTED HERE FOREVER- YOUR VERY IDENTITY MUST CHANGE OVER NIGHT." It's just not going to work.

This is fascinating from a marketing/business perspective to watch but sad from a real life perspective since some people's real life community has been dismantled. Again - gross.

[rmpar29]

Apparently, this is the public relations number for the XO group (parent company of the TB) if anyone is interested in calling - 212-515-7482.

[menrandes]

I voted undecided. TTCAL saved my life, I am almost positive. I never expected false hope and I would never give someone else false hope. I am torn, because it was my home away from home. A place to be, always, when I couldn't deal with my life. A place to be to help others when they couldn't deal with their ordinary life.
I like that we are here and that we have an alternate place to be, but I don't believe that here is a place that others will be able to find, which I think is incredibly important.
If the dust never settles over there....I don't know. I may just leave. I love the community we had and the safe place that other created before us and that all of us helped shape, but if it's not safe anymore? I don't think I'd be able to go back.

[mrsoscarfelix]

looks like BumpMay got herself all banned and shit. Anyone know what happened?

[therealbug]

Jan 14, 2015 15:04:42 GMT -5 mrsoscarfelix said:

looks like BumpMay got herself all banned and shit. Anyone know what happened?

And now TB is down. 

[rmpar29]

I was just noticing this as well. How does BumpMay get banned? Isn't she like the top dog?

[leloyd]

I think TB was probably hacked.

[mrsoscarfelix]

Jan 14, 2015 15:19:06 GMT -5 leloyd said:

I think TB was probably hacked.

I was thinking the same thing...who knows but I am staying tuned.

[kateisoptimistic]

Jan 14, 2015 13:33:05 GMT -5 rmpar29 said:

Apparently, this is the public relations number for the XO group (parent company of the TB) if anyone is interested in calling - 212-515-7482.

usually the public relations people deal with press and media only so they will just direct you to customer service if you can even get through

[kateisoptimistic]

Jan 14, 2015 15:48:11 GMT -5 heartbot said:

Someone apparently had a meeting with the sr. PR manager at TB. The update is partway down page 2, search for alexeleni: goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/319/call-senior-manager-update-results?page=2

interesting....what a shitshow

[msugirl]

I'm also undecided.
What happened yesterday on TB makes me sick...but I really don't like change. And I haven't figured this place out yet...oh, and I can't get everything I want in my siggy here or how to put pictures in it.
Anyways, I'm just glad you all are here :-)

[mrsoscarfelix]

Jan 14, 2015 16:30:37 GMT -5 heartbot said:

I read on what I'm pretty sure is the exodus board for TN from back in the day that the mods have lost some of their powers? What? pandce.proboards.com/post/8383676/thread

Are you a detective ? I am loving all the information you are bringing forward.

[mrsoscarfelix]

I don't want to make a new thread for this but is anyone going back tonight? I know a lot of the 24 hours of silence will be up and I can only help but notice there is only a handful of us here. While I am still undecided, I have gotten used to this place and don't mind it but still worry about this particular board dying out. I will be watching and see what happens, just wondering what you guys are all thinking for this evening?

[ldubhawksfan]

Hi guise!!!! I finally got time to explore this proboard thing. I'm mobile, so my margarita will come later. Just wanted to say hi.

Eta: I voted undecided. I could see myself straddling both for TTCAL, but I don't know honestly. I'm flabbergasted by the whole thing. I'll probably go back tonight, but just to see after the dust clears.