Weekly Check-In (March 16th)
Mar 17, 2015 1:23:57 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2015 1:23:57 GMT -5
parenting...
I think one of the strengths of being a single parent is acknowledging you (I) really cant do it all. Maybe Ive developed a stronger fall back system than some. I have many support systems..
I have made 2 good friends, well 4 they are couples... that have kids more or less the same age as DS-
We eat with them or have a play date- it varies, but once a week sometimes, to once a month or so. That gives me a moment of venting, or just not being the sole focus of J's laser like attention, or having another adult step in occasionally. I get feedback, problem solve. In general, I am so happy to have made connections to other parents that are MY friends too. I cherish them. I dont expect- as he develops his own friendships- that I will love the parents of the kids he likes, but I have 2 solid couples, and thats alot really. Even to have made new friends since J was born is a big deal. They are going thru same age child struggles, so they can tell me if hes being normal developmentally and to chill out. Sometimes if I have a dr appt or tax appt someone will be free for a quick thing, so as to not drag LO around to the bank or errand run.
My old friendships (pre child) a few have weakened but 2 have really strengthened. And only 1 lives in my town, but shes dropped everything to bring a pack of diapers, or popcicles, or advil if the man is sick. I try to have preparations, but sometimes things can come on FAST-- Not having someone else in the house means he needs to go with, no matter how tired or sick to get a can of soup or whatever. I would literally die without Auntie K. Auntie R lives further away but shows up like a divorced dad- and plays the super hero. Its freaking annoying at times, but there are those days, when someone can take him to the park or out for icecream or the zoo... it brings her joy, and him joy. Its important that he have these networks of people that love HIM, and they do. I try not to get toooooo freaking hung up on if they let him stay up a little too late, or XYZ, though weve had a few conversations about LIMIT SETTING, because theyve formed a unique relationship to him and they all (and me) get value in that. These are my good friends, but they really have taken to being the Auntie. Plus they know my MOM -- whose both a saint but slightly nutty and let me vent about that scene.
My Mom. I couldnt do nights ( I work nights) without her, and she is for the most part- a rock solid citizen about taking the man... Plus I do adore her,even as she drives me batty.
These are the 3 closest tiers of support, but I do have some others- and they are an invaluable source of love and support for both of us.
I am really lucky to have as many people as I do- hes really a group effort, I suppose. I put alot of value on being a good friend and do my best to reciprocate, even if I seem like an ungrateful sleep deprived wretch at times.
I also adore his teacher, and shes round about my age, so we talk. During the TTC stage, I told noone, and in fact told noone I was pregnant until CVS came back. Also, if I were to die suddenly, theres the family that would be getting him, and although they live a bit away, we make some time to continue to strengthen that bond.
I think one of the strengths of being a single parent is acknowledging you (I) really cant do it all. Maybe Ive developed a stronger fall back system than some. I have many support systems..
I have made 2 good friends, well 4 they are couples... that have kids more or less the same age as DS-
We eat with them or have a play date- it varies, but once a week sometimes, to once a month or so. That gives me a moment of venting, or just not being the sole focus of J's laser like attention, or having another adult step in occasionally. I get feedback, problem solve. In general, I am so happy to have made connections to other parents that are MY friends too. I cherish them. I dont expect- as he develops his own friendships- that I will love the parents of the kids he likes, but I have 2 solid couples, and thats alot really. Even to have made new friends since J was born is a big deal. They are going thru same age child struggles, so they can tell me if hes being normal developmentally and to chill out. Sometimes if I have a dr appt or tax appt someone will be free for a quick thing, so as to not drag LO around to the bank or errand run.
My old friendships (pre child) a few have weakened but 2 have really strengthened. And only 1 lives in my town, but shes dropped everything to bring a pack of diapers, or popcicles, or advil if the man is sick. I try to have preparations, but sometimes things can come on FAST-- Not having someone else in the house means he needs to go with, no matter how tired or sick to get a can of soup or whatever. I would literally die without Auntie K. Auntie R lives further away but shows up like a divorced dad- and plays the super hero. Its freaking annoying at times, but there are those days, when someone can take him to the park or out for icecream or the zoo... it brings her joy, and him joy. Its important that he have these networks of people that love HIM, and they do. I try not to get toooooo freaking hung up on if they let him stay up a little too late, or XYZ, though weve had a few conversations about LIMIT SETTING, because theyve formed a unique relationship to him and they all (and me) get value in that. These are my good friends, but they really have taken to being the Auntie. Plus they know my MOM -- whose both a saint but slightly nutty and let me vent about that scene.
My Mom. I couldnt do nights ( I work nights) without her, and she is for the most part- a rock solid citizen about taking the man... Plus I do adore her,even as she drives me batty.
These are the 3 closest tiers of support, but I do have some others- and they are an invaluable source of love and support for both of us.
I am really lucky to have as many people as I do- hes really a group effort, I suppose. I put alot of value on being a good friend and do my best to reciprocate, even if I seem like an ungrateful sleep deprived wretch at times.
I also adore his teacher, and shes round about my age, so we talk. During the TTC stage, I told noone, and in fact told noone I was pregnant until CVS came back. Also, if I were to die suddenly, theres the family that would be getting him, and although they live a bit away, we make some time to continue to strengthen that bond.