*~* Weekly Check In 3/17/15 *~*

[icequeen]

Hi Ladies!

Happy St. Patrick's Day to those celebrating today! Hope y'all are having a good week thus far. If y'all don't mind could you please take a look at the poll I made about setting goals? I'm just trying to get a general idea if people would like to do this with me, and if enough people do, then maybe we can have a weekly thread for it. Thanks so much for your input and I really appreciate it

flcl, mrsb1008, yoshijo28, @rocknrollfriend, @wallflwr926, @ordinaryamy, runnergirl812, helloamanda, @giamia923, snarkysparklefart, @alleykat05, bluerainfire, sko14

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Please briefly describe your diagnosis/status:


How is your week going?


Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?


Any changes in medications or recent appointments?


GTKY: Did you go to college? If so, what did you major in? If not, what did you decide to do instead?

[sko14]

Thanks for the tag icequeen

Please briefly describe your diagnosis/status: Anxiety, with a dash of panic attacks thrown in for fun


How is your week going?: This week has been hard. Had a few minor issues where I found myself crying in the bathroom at work. Silly things, that hit me hard and knocked me down

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?: Struggles: I wish so badly I could cope and manage on my own without meds. Accomplishments: I'm trying to get more involved here and posted on the GKU board <--- this is a HUGE deal for me. Got tight in the chest typing it (and this, for that matter)


Any changes in medications or recent appointments?: Nada!


GTKY: Did you go to college? If so, what did you major in? If not, what did you decide to do instead?: I did, I took Business Administration and I actually didn't major in anything! I minored in Studio Art

[yoshijo28]

sko14 I'm sorry you're struggling. I understand what you mean about wanting to be able to handle things and be ok without meds. I wish I could give a presentation at work or speak in front of people without xanax.

Diagnosis: ocd, anxiety, anorexia
How is your week going? Im struggling to come to terms with what my therapist said regarding my weight. She said I fit the criteria for anorexia.
Struggles/accomplishments: started seeing a therapist. She suggested outpatient treatment which I don't think I need. Still unsure if there is an issue Because I don't think I fit the criteria.

QOTW: I majored in history and education. Was going to be a middle or high school teacher. Now I work in management (business).

[bluerainfire]

sko14, I am proud you are posting! I hope you someday can handle things with out meds!

Please briefly describe your diagnosis/status:
pstd, anxiety, add some depression

How is your week going? good and bad- the weather is turning nicer, this makes me happier and more active


Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share? struggle and accomplish- i started to type up everything that makes me who i am- i have come up to realization that I need to deal with some of my major issues, and then do effect/affect me more then I would ever care to admit. I have been taught, and sometimes have to go to a place where I sweep things under the rug. sometimes its better to put things in another place, but its not always good for me to do..so I am working on that. struggle the MIl is being a bitch- sigh




Any changes in medications or recent appointments? i called the benefit office for my husband today to make sure i was on the plan- only his name was on the card, apparently this is a new change...whoo so yeah i need to make a therapy appointment..


GTKY: Did you go to college? If so, what did you major in? If not, what did you decide to do instead?

i have bas in political science and women studies, i do nothing with political science and work at a hospital- i also have a minor in fine art, and if i could do it all over again, i think i would be better suited as an art teacher..

[Deleted]

Please briefly describe your diagnosis/status:
No diagnosis atm, but anxiety, depression and self-sabatoging behaviour covers a lot of it. 

How is your week going?
Despite my promise, I did skip a week! I got in trouble a couple weeks back from burning through 75% of our internet so I've neglecting TCF.
It's going well, yesterday I applied for a job I really really want so I'm forcing myself to be optimistic. Looking over the written references I had to get for the position has made me realize how different my perception of myself is from others. Those references in conjunction with my recent conversations with friends has caused me to re-evaluate some assumptions I've made about my own worth, in a very good way. 

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?
I invested a lot of myself into that job application, seeing my career counsellor, forcing multiple people to look at and telling people about. The amount of time and effort I put into it is a huge accomplishment since my fear or rejection tends to make me spend less time on applications so I feel less bad when I'm rejected.
This weekend I discovered that I can finish one of my workouts that I previously wasn't able to. It's partly that my stubbornness has finally made it so I refuse to quit and an increase in energy. My newfound energy for the past month or so which makes me feel better about my choice to change cut out gluten. 

Any changes in medications or recent appointments?
Last week, I saw my career counsellor. Her job is to help me with designing my career path and applications but she's always insisted on an emotional check in and lets every appointment run over time. It was a good check in and showed me how investing in a job application doesn't hurt as much as I think it will.

GTKY: Did you go to college? If so, what did you major in? If not, what did you decide to do instead?
I got to pick up my last (I hope) diploma last week! I have a Bachelor of Arts in Communication & English and a Master of Library and Information Science.  

[helloamanda]

Please briefly describe your diagnosis/status: Major Depression and Anxiety

How is your week going? Not too bad. I worked a lot last week. I work in sales and I have a hard time unpersonalizing when I get rejected. Also, the weather has been gorgeous, but that's bad for my allergies! Feels like someone punched me in the face!

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share? As I said, I'm struggling with taking my rejections too personal. My therapist and I are working on my confidence and how it's a distorted thought that people reject me because I'm fat or ugly (which is what I think). I saw my weight loss doctor and she's busting at the seams pregnant, and I'm there because I'm too fat for IVF. I'm glad I went though. I'm going in for a liver ultrasound and will probably be on a liver detox afterwards. My first goal is to cut out artificial sweeteners and Diet Coke, which is hard for me because I love my Diet Coke! MIL is planning a trip for everyone in June for her parent's anniversary and SIL has bitched about the whole thing. I'm trying not to let it bother me, but I know it'll get worse by June.

Any changes in medications or recent appointments? Nope, weekly therapy and same medicines. I did take an Ativan to help me sleep last night. My mind was racing but about nothing particular.

GTKY: Did you go to college? If so, what did you major in? If not, what did you decide to do instead? I did! I majored in Interactive Media with a focus on Animation and Film. After college I worked in web development for awhile and hated it. Now I'm working as a photographer, so that's kind of like un-moving film, right?

[sko14]

yoshijo28, thank you! Im so sorry with whats going on with your therapist, I cant even imagine how you're feeling *creepy internet hugs*
bluerainfire, thanks! I was pretty shaky typing the last post and one yesterday. Hopefully one day ill be a pro I agree with you, too, spring-ish weather always helps me even a little!
@ordinaryamy, I hope you get the job! That's a huge accomplishment either way. It's always nice to get another persons opinion on how great you are
helloamanda, rejection in any form is hard to cope with. I'm sorry you're having a hard time

[icequeen]

Please briefly describe your diagnosis/status: Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, GAD

How is your week going? It is going downhill for me. I feel like I'm backtracking with the improvements I've made and I'm becoming more obsessive and self-conscious. I am not as depressed and anxious, which is good. DH and I had a dumb fight yesterday and one last week and I feel like he is always trying to find reasons to worry about something with my health. Like he will not give me any credit for the changes that I've made and every time I have a new accomplishment, he brings up another problem. I just feel like nothing I do is ever good enough. I told him about this and he apologized, and he was really sweet to me this morning after our argument last night. Which is good, because I'm starting my FW and we have to have sex and I don't want to be in a pissy mood! Ha.

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share? I am maintaining not binging and purging or throwing up any regular meals. I haven't thrown up since March 1, which is a record for me. I am confident I can keep this up. I have been very consistent with my meds and have no desire to use those behaviors any more. I am really struggling, though, because I feel like I am trading one evil for another. Now I feel like I am doing more restricting and working out. I met with my new therapist last Thursday and she said I needed to gain about 7 lbs, so I tried in vain to change my diet and instead ended up cutting out breakfast entirely and eating more vegetables at dinner. Then I started getting super constipated because I wasn't eating enough and that messed with my weight so when I weighed myself I saw the weight was up by a few pounds and that freaked me out even more, so I started restricting lunch and dinner in addition to not having breakfast AND running an extra 10 minutes. FUCK. So I'm just really frustrated because I feel like I'm digging my own grave here. I hate being my own worst enemy.

Any changes in medications or recent appointments? No changes. I am seeing my dietitian and psych tomorrow.

GTKY: Did you go to college? If so, what did you major in? If not, what did you decide to do instead? I went to Loyola University Chicago, double majored in biology and bioethics. I did my PhD in nutrition, kinesiology, and rehab.

[icequeen]

sko14, I know posting on the boards can be very intimidating. You just have to take what they say with a grain of salt and keep your head up and either acknowledge your mistakes or defend yourself. Either way, you have people in real life who know and love you, no matter what you say. It's a learning experience for everyone on here, don't worry too much. And there's no shame to meds, at all. I was very much opposed to using them, but now I realize how wrong I was. I too wish I didn't have to rely on them, but it's all about what makes me a healthier person overall.

yoshijo28, you know how proud I am of you, girl. It takes so much guts to go to therapy and listen to a stranger tell you things you don't want to here and are uncomfortable with. It is so hard to keep going, but just keep pushing yourself and remember that the most important thing is just taking small steps at a time.

bluerainfire, I hate my IL's, too. I hope you get that therapy appointment soon! Maybe if you find writing all those things down helps, you can start journaling daily? It's been helping me a lot. I do it every morning before DD gets up when the house is nice and quiet.

@ordinaryamy, it's great to see you being more positive about your abilities. A career coach sounds fabulous and I'm glad you have someone to help point out your talents. We are definitely our own worst critics.

helloamanda, that appointment must have been excruciating. I am so sorry you had to go through that (((HUGS))). I think you are doing the right thing by first doing a detox, if your diet was really out of control beforehand. As long as it's ok with your doctor and not something gimmicky you saw on TV that might potentially be harmful to you! And I love diet coke, too

[sko14]

icequeen, thank you. I'm so sorry you're struggling but you're doing such a great job! All in strides. One thing at a time is easier than lots at once, right?
also laughed at your FW comment. Isn't that the worst? When you're pissy but want to get the job done?

[Deleted]

Please briefly describe your diagnosis/status:
Schizophrenia and PTSD, in treatment

How is your week going?
My week is going pretty well. Yesterday was exhausting because the trip to my psychiatrist takes a little over 2 hours each way, but I guess it's worth it!

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?
The other day H opened the freezer door really quickly right in front of me and I didn't even think to flinch! This may seem like nothing, but it's huge to me.

Any changes in medications or recent appointments?
They increased my Abilify, which I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's causing edema pretty bad in my left leg, so if that continues I'm going to stop taking it. But we went up to 20mg for now and I'm going to call back in 2 weeks and if it's not helping enough we'll increase to 30mg or go off of it altogether. If the edema continues I'm leaning toward going off of it.

GTKY: Did you go to college? If so, what did you major in? If not, what did you decide to do instead?
I did, but I dropped out at the beginning of my third year because I was in and out of the hospital too much for and ED. I majored in Exercise Science. I loved it and hated it at the same time. It wasn't really what I wanted to do, but it was a job that would require me to be skinny the rest of my life, so that's what I went with. EDs can kiss my ass. *sigh* I still regret it.

[icequeen]

Mar 17, 2015 16:35:05 GMT -5 @led said:

Please briefly describe your diagnosis/status:
Schizophrenia and PTSD, in treatment

How is your week going?
My week is going pretty well. Yesterday was exhausting because the trip to my psychiatrist takes a little over 2 hours each way, but I guess it's worth it!

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?
The other day H opened the freezer door really quickly right in front of me and I didn't even think to flinch! This may seem like nothing, but it's huge to me.

Any changes in medications or recent appointments?
They increased my Abilify, which I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's causing edema pretty bad in my left leg, so if that continues I'm going to stop taking it. But we went up to 20mg for now and I'm going to call back in 2 weeks and if it's not helping enough we'll increase to 30mg or go off of it altogether. If the edema continues I'm leaning toward going off of it.

GTKY: Did you go to college? If so, what did you major in? If not, what did you decide to do instead?
I did, but I dropped out at the beginning of my third year because I was in and out of the hospital too much for and ED. I majored in Exercise Science. I loved it and hated it at the same time. It wasn't really what I wanted to do, but it was a job that would require me to be skinny the rest of my life, so that's what I went with. EDs can kiss my ass. *sigh* I still regret it.

I can relate to SO MUCH of this. Although I finished college and completed my credits for med school and took the entry exam and even got an interview and got INTO the fucking program, I threw it all away. The morning I was supposed to go for my interview, I was passed out in my condo from taking too many diet pills, laxatives, and diuretics. Bye bye medical career and hello 10 more years of pure hell. I can't even explain how angry it makes me to this day that I allowed this to happen. I will never live it down.

On the other hand, I am so proud of you this week. I know on here and on GKU you have been making such strides with getting out of the house and doing daily activities, crocheting, taking the bus, and actively pursuing a job. It is a testament to what a fighter you are and that you will not let your illness beat you. I am so sorry about the Abilify, and I would agree to get off of it if there was a comparable alternative that didn't give you such an awful side effect. I really look up to you, especially with your attitude towards ED's. I hope I can make into long term recovery like you.

I am so sorry about the Abilify, and I would agree to get off of it if there was a comparable alternative that didn't give you such an awful side effect. Take care of yourself and keep up the awesome work

[Deleted]

Mar 17, 2015 17:12:46 GMT -5 icequeen said:

Mar 17, 2015 16:35:05 GMT -5 @led said:

Please briefly describe your diagnosis/status:
Schizophrenia and PTSD, in treatment

How is your week going?
My week is going pretty well. Yesterday was exhausting because the trip to my psychiatrist takes a little over 2 hours each way, but I guess it's worth it!

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?
The other day H opened the freezer door really quickly right in front of me and I didn't even think to flinch! This may seem like nothing, but it's huge to me.

Any changes in medications or recent appointments?
They increased my Abilify, which I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's causing edema pretty bad in my left leg, so if that continues I'm going to stop taking it. But we went up to 20mg for now and I'm going to call back in 2 weeks and if it's not helping enough we'll increase to 30mg or go off of it altogether. If the edema continues I'm leaning toward going off of it.

GTKY: Did you go to college? If so, what did you major in? If not, what did you decide to do instead?
I did, but I dropped out at the beginning of my third year because I was in and out of the hospital too much for and ED. I majored in Exercise Science. I loved it and hated it at the same time. It wasn't really what I wanted to do, but it was a job that would require me to be skinny the rest of my life, so that's what I went with. EDs can kiss my ass. *sigh* I still regret it.

I can relate to SO MUCH of this. Although I finished college and completed my credits for med school and took the entry exam and even got an interview and got INTO the fucking program, I threw it all away. The morning I was supposed to go for my interview, I was passed out in my condo from taking too many diet pills, laxatives, and diuretics. Bye bye medical career and hello 10 more years of pure hell. I can't even explain how angry it makes me to this day that I allowed this to happen. I will never live it down.

On the other hand, I am so proud of you this week. I know on here and on GKU you have been making such strides with getting out of the house and doing daily activities, crocheting, taking the bus, and actively pursuing a job. It is a testament to what a fighter you are and that you will not let your illness beat you. I am so sorry about the Abilify, and I would agree to get off of it if there was a comparable alternative that didn't give you such an awful side effect. I really look up to you, especially with your attitude towards ED's. I hope I can make into long term recovery like you.

I am so sorry about the Abilify, and I would agree to get off of it if there was a comparable alternative that didn't give you such an awful side effect. Take care of yourself and keep up the awesome work

It took me 17 years of hell to get to a state of recovery from my ED. The thing that got me there was wanting kids. I refused to pass on any bad habits so I knew if I wanted to have kids I would have to do it. Several programs and years of therapy later, here I am. I still binge and purge on occasion when things get really stressful. But it's only like twice a year. I've been in recovery for 3 years as of tomorrow. I have no doubt that you'll get there. Just don't let the little slip ups bring you down. Keep moving forward and just know that those slip ups will soon become further and further apart. If you ever need to talk about it, I'm here. *hugs*

[icequeen]

Mar 17, 2015 17:19:29 GMT -5 @led said:

Mar 17, 2015 17:12:46 GMT -5 icequeen said:

I can relate to SO MUCH of this. Although I finished college and completed my credits for med school and took the entry exam and even got an interview and got INTO the fucking program, I threw it all away. The morning I was supposed to go for my interview, I was passed out in my condo from taking too many diet pills, laxatives, and diuretics. Bye bye medical career and hello 10 more years of pure hell. I can't even explain how angry it makes me to this day that I allowed this to happen. I will never live it down.

On the other hand, I am so proud of you this week. I know on here and on GKU you have been making such strides with getting out of the house and doing daily activities, crocheting, taking the bus, and actively pursuing a job. It is a testament to what a fighter you are and that you will not let your illness beat you. I am so sorry about the Abilify, and I would agree to get off of it if there was a comparable alternative that didn't give you such an awful side effect. I really look up to you, especially with your attitude towards ED's. I hope I can make into long term recovery like you.

I am so sorry about the Abilify, and I would agree to get off of it if there was a comparable alternative that didn't give you such an awful side effect. Take care of yourself and keep up the awesome work

It took me 17 years of hell to get to a state of recovery from my ED. The thing that got me there was wanting kids. I refused to pass on any bad habits so I knew if I wanted to have kids I would have to do it. Several programs and years of therapy later, here I am. I still binge and purge on occasion when things get really stressful. But it's only like twice a year. I've been in recovery for 3 years as of tomorrow. I have no doubt that you'll get there. Just don't let the little slip ups bring you down. Keep moving forward and just know that those slip ups will soon become further and further apart. If you ever need to talk about it, I'm here. *hugs*

Thank you so much. I have a ways to go, but having kids is what makes me want to get better completely and I have a lot of guilt and shame for not being able to do it sooner. But MH and I both know if I continue this, I won't be around to see my kids grow up, let alone have more kids if I don't do something about it.

ETA hit post too fast

[Deleted]

sko14: I reiterate everything icequeen said
Thank you! I'm realizing that either way, having worked hard on it and being confident in that as an accomplishment takes a bit of the sting away from any potential rejection.
yoshijo28: I hope you and your therapist can continue to work through things. It's hard when people tell you things about yourself that don't jive with how you view yourself, good or bad.
bluerainfire: I too was taught to sweep things under the rug and to pretend nothing was wrong even when things were falling apart. Although I know it's the reason for some awkward situations (like the time in high school I starting crying in math class for 'no reason'), it's still really hard to get out of that mindset. I agree with icequeen about journal writing, it helped me start acknowledging my feelings and work through things even when my family refused to talk about them. I hope you get your therapy appointment soon!
helloamanda: Regardless of the situation, rejection sucks. I admire your ability to work in sales and face this challenge.
My mother also LOVES Diet Coke. [Slightly] Amusing story: Once she did a beverage survey and told me afterwards, "They didn't ask me what I did drink: water, apple juice, and Diet Coke."
Good luck with your continued health regime!
icequeen: I think that's amazing progress! It sucks that you're struggling, but you've come so far. Like sko14 said, take it one step at a time. It's easy to look at our mistakes and think we're making no progress when really we've made huge strides. I try to step away and look at the big picture when I feel like that. I think about how the person I am today is so much better and healthier than who I was a year ago.
Also I love my career counselor! I recommend the office she works for regularly to my former classmates (it's on campus and free for alumni & students). She was one of the people who stopped me from dropping out of graduate school.
@led: I'm glad your week is going well! I hope the edema goes away, it sucks when something is supposed to help in one way but hinders us in another.

EDIT: Forgot things. (edit#2: grammar)

[yoshijo28]

helloamanda I am very similar to you in that I do not take rejection well and I understand how you take it so personally. It's great that you're working on that with your therapist.

@ordinaryamy I think it's great that you're finally seeing yourself the way others see you. Best of luck with the job, I hope you get it!

icequeen I'm so sorry you're having a rough week. I can emphasize with you because I am doing similar behaviors as you. I also understand what you mean by trading 1 evil for another. When I'm restricting or losing weight my OCD and anxiety isn't as bad because I'm controlling the situation. Just remember that a few bumps do not equal failure. You are still making progress and will continue to make progress.

@led it's great your week is going well. I hope the side effects from the meds get Better for you

[Deleted]

Please briefly describe your diagnosis/status:
Bipolar, ADD, GAD, Narcolepsy

How is your week going? H is trying to ruin it. He lost his temper and told off my dad over climate change. He's such a jackass.

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share? Struggling with start of cycle 9. I thought for sure it started last night, but nope it faked me out. And H being a jerk isn't helping.

Any changes in medications or recent appointments? Nope.

GTKY: Did you go to college? If so, what did you major in? Started as Biochem, Graduated with a BS in Sociology, minors in Criminal Justice and History. I plan to eventually go back for MLIS. Im burnt out from case management. I really want to be a librarian.

[icequeen]

@giamia923, I'm sorry work is causing your anger to skyrocket. Are there any coping mechanisms you can use there to diminish your mood? How do you deal with it? If your boss is really troubling you and making it difficult for you to be productive, could you talk to HR about it and maybe they could suggest switching positions or transferring you? Or maybe have a one on one meeting with your boss to clear the air when you are both calm in an environment outside the office where you are more likely to be civilized.

I know I would have terrible anger issues with DH, which ultimately led me back to therapy, where I would literally scream and curse and say the worst things possible that I didn't even mean. Like I was absolutely insane, I didn't even believe it was me. I used to get in my car and leave for hours. Now I still yell, but I don't have complete meltdowns, and I do not leave the house. It's something my dad always did when I was younger.

@wallflwr926, ugh!!!! I'm so sorry for the fake-out. Is it just spotting right now? How is your temp? It's probably a little wacky since you're on vacation. I can't believe YH is being a jerk right now. He just had his birthday! This is supposed to be a happy time for y'all. How aggravating. I hope you get some time to yourself to just decompress. This is your time off, too. Don't let anyone ruin it.

[icequeen]

Mar 17, 2015 20:25:34 GMT -5 @giamia923 said:

Mar 17, 2015 20:04:38 GMT -5 icequeen said:

@giamia923, I'm sorry work is causing your anger to skyrocket. Are there any coping mechanisms you can use there to diminish your mood? How do you deal with it? If your boss is really troubling you and making it difficult for you to be productive, could you talk to HR about it and maybe they could suggest switching positions or transferring you? Or maybe have a one on one meeting with your boss to clear the air when you are both calm in an environment outside the office where you are more likely to be civilized.

I know I would have terrible anger issues with DH, which ultimately led me back to therapy, where I would literally scream and curse and say the worst things possible that I didn't even mean. Like I was absolutely insane, I didn't even believe it was me. I used to get in my car and leave for hours. Now I still yell, but I don't have complete meltdowns, and I do not leave the house. It's something my dad always did when I was younger.

@wallflwr926, ugh!!!! I'm so sorry for the fake-out. Is it just spotting right now? How is your temp? It's probably a little wacky since you're on vacation. I can't believe YH is being a jerk right now. He just had his birthday! This is supposed to be a happy time for y'all. How aggravating. I hope you get some time to yourself to just decompress. This is your time off, too. Don't let anyone ruin it.

Mar 17, 2015 20:04:38 GMT -5 icequeen said:

@giamia923, I'm sorry work is causing your anger to skyrocket. Are there any coping mechanisms you can use there to diminish your mood? How do you deal with it? If your boss is really troubling you and making it difficult for you to be productive, could you talk to HR about it and maybe they could suggest switching positions or transferring you? Or maybe have a one on one meeting with your boss to clear the air when you are both calm in an environment outside the office where you are more likely to be civilized.

I know I would have terrible anger issues with DH, which ultimately led me back to therapy, where I would literally scream and curse and say the worst things possible that I didn't even mean. Like I was absolutely insane, I didn't even believe it was me. I used to get in my car and leave for hours. Now I still yell, but I don't have complete meltdowns, and I do not leave the house. It's something my dad always did when I was younger.

@wallflwr926, ugh!!!! I'm so sorry for the fake-out. Is it just spotting right now? How is your temp? It's probably a little wacky since you're on vacation. I can't believe YH is being a jerk right now. He just had his birthday! This is supposed to be a happy time for y'all. How aggravating. I hope you get some time to yourself to just decompress. This is your time off, too. Don't let anyone ruin it.

Thanks for the advice! We have a staff meeting Thursday so hopefully things can be addressed but she's like a hard core nazi about a lot of things and don't think she takes "constructive criticism" well. My issue is about breaks mostly. I work at a hotline for abuse/ neglect and I get we are tied to the phone but she won't let anyone on our "team" take a break until another person gets back which makes taking our alloted breaks hard! especially if you get stuck on a call. Plus no other team does breaks like this and they get to "stagger" so one goes when another is halfway through..... she is just obsessed with having no queue which I get but its the evening shift and is never extremely busy. When I worked days no one gave a shit! I think she's promotion hungry so wants to have no wait time like not even a second which makes it impossible for us all to get all our breaks! it's just frustrating because I've never had a job where every second of your day is accounted for and monitored!!!! I just keep telling myself it could be worse and still be in the field investigating child abuse... sigh. Sorry for taking over just needed to vent! Thanks again!

Well, I can absolutely understand why you would need a break, mentally, at least. Listening to those situations and dealing with your own mental illness is very challenging. But you are definitely doing great work and helping so many people. Thank you for all you do

[Deleted]

Mar 17, 2015 20:04:38 GMT -5 icequeen said:

Edited for size-
Im

@wallflwr926, ugh!!!! I'm so sorry for the fake-out. Is it just spotting right now? How is your temp? It's probably a little wacky since you're on vacation. I can't believe YH is being a jerk right now. He just had his birthday! This is supposed to be a happy time for y'all. How aggravating. I hope you get some time to yourself to just decompress. This is your time off, too. Don't let anyone ruin it.

Im beyond aggravated with him today. I told therapy isn't an option anymore. We ended up back his mom's when we were supoosed to go my sister's.
While he ran an errand his mom pulled out some paperwork i've never seen before. He was diagnosed with Adjustment Disorder in 2004. Im not even sure if he knows about this formal diagnosis but im not about to bring it up.

[Deleted]

Mar 17, 2015 20:36:57 GMT -5 @giamia923 said:

Mar 17, 2015 20:32:56 GMT -5 icequeen said:

Well, I can absolutely understand why you would need a break, mentally, at least. Listening to those situations and dealing with your own mental illness is very challenging. But you are definitely doing great work and helping so many people. Thank you for all you do

Thanks!!! It does get draining but being out in the field was way worse. And the breaks help me decompress so it's just irritating when she's basically preventing me from doing so. I just don't get it. No other team has these issues which makes me think it's mostly her. I have to keep telling myself to let it go because I'm still technically in my probationary period and feel they are looking for any little thing to fire us over. Once Im permanent it's another story tho lol ☺️ Thanks again!

I worked for a county in a probationary position. We had on the job work and a classroom component. The woman who taught the classroom was a bitch and prided herself in "weeding" out the people who couldn't keep up with her standards (or people she just didn't like.) If she isn't properly allocating breaks she's breaking labor laws and it should be reported. If you don't have set break times she cannot prevent you from leaving. That's really not ok.
Info source: Im a union rep.

[Deleted]

Mar 17, 2015 20:38:44 GMT -5 @giamia923 said:

Mar 17, 2015 20:37:18 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

Im beyond aggravated with him today. I told therapy isn't an option anymore. We ended up back his mom's when we were supoosed to go my sister's.
While he ran an errand his mom pulled out some paperwork i've never seen before. He was diagnosed with Adjustment Disorder in 2004. Im not even sure if he knows about this formal diagnosis but im not about to bring it up.

Yeah maybe wait till things calm down. Hopefully they get better soon *hugs*

He can't be told he's wrong ever. He's lost multiple jobs trying to "prove he was right." He's a good guy with a very checkered past. It actually made me feel better to see the paperwork. I was pretty sure it was ODD so I wasn't that far off.I noticed when reviewing evals at work that children will usually been given the ODD diagnosis; while adults tend to be diagnosed with adjustment disorder. Ive never really looked into the reasons why this is done.

[Deleted]

Mar 17, 2015 20:58:49 GMT -5 @giamia923 said:

Mar 17, 2015 20:43:19 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

I worked for a county in a probationary position. We had on the job work and a classroom component. The woman who taught the classroom was a bitch and prided herself in "weeding" out the people who couldn't keep up with her standards (or people she just didn't like.) If she isn't properly allocating breaks she's breaking labor laws and it should be reported. If you don't have set break times she cannot prevent you from leaving. That's really not ok.
Info source: Im a union rep.

The union is my next step!!!! Hopefully things go ok on Thursday which I doubt but we shall see.

Are you still in the probationary period with your company or just in the position?

[Deleted]

Mar 17, 2015 21:31:16 GMT -5 @giamia923 said:

^^^ if that makes sense!

I was a county worker at one point. Sadly, it makes total sense. The reason I asked is because some unions will refuse to assist employee if they are not full members. My union does case by case basis for probationary employees.
I get called to sit in frequently because I try to facilitate communication between employees and management. I wpuld recommend that you start documenting your breaktimes. Also remember that bathroom breaks are different from actual breaks.
If you have any questions about advice the union rep gives you, please feel free to PM me.

[bluerainfire]

This post has been busy, so sorry if I skipped anyone

icequeen, we are our worse enemies. It's never to late to go back and do it again! from what i read you are in a much better place then you were. It seems like you do a lot of self punishment. Maybe you can keep on focusing on what you are doing right- I don't totally understand the world of ed's, but I think you can beat it. Maybe you can refocus that negative energy to positive?
@giamia923, bosses can be a bitch, when they are thinking more of themselves and what looks best to the other bosses. I would fight for a break, your job has to be emotional and tiring. Do you have other people on our team that feel the same way? strength in numbers.
@ordinaryamy, it's great you are getting positive feedback, let that sink in
@led, edema is not great, talk with you doctors about something else that you can have instead,,,

I know there’s more- I wanted to say thankyou all for sharing your experiences, struggles and accomplishments. It has help to feel less alone- i know it can be difficult to share, so thankyou again

[bluerainfire]

@giamia923, what can be resolved soon? sorry, i am confused.

[Deleted]

Hi all! Man I am totally late to this.

Please briefly describe your diagnosis/status: depression and anxiety, under treatment


How is your week going? Meh. Not great, not terrible. But DS's 3rd bday is tomorrow! So hopefully it can only get better!


Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share? Just struggling with DH as usual. I feel like he blames all of his feelings on me, and it's annoying. I've been trying to get him to own his feelings, but it really seems to confuse him. I also had a realization this week that one of the reasons I find it hard to reconnect with him is that I feel like I have to be perfect to do so. I pretty much think I should be perfect at everything, and I always fall way short, then feel ashamed and withdraw. So that's good for some self-awareness I guess...


Any changes in medications or recent appointments? No. I have a psych appt next month and still haven't scheduled an individual therapist. Something for the goal-setting check-in!!


GTKY: Did you go to college? If so, what did you major in? If not, what did you decide to do instead? Yes, I have a BS in Environmental Science and MA in Biology. I work as an environmental consultant so that path was pretty well-focused!

[Deleted]

sko14 I'm glad you posted! Some of the boards can be a little intimidating for sure. But we are nice. I hope you continue to post here!
bluerainfire sounds like you are ready to do some hard work in therapy! GL finding a therapist.
@ordinaryamy COngrats on finishing the job application! I'm glad the positive feedback you've received is helping you see yourself in a more positive light.
helloamanda GL with the detox! I quit soda a few years ago, basically by replacing it with sparkling juice. I gradually reduced the amount of juice and upped the amount of sparkling water, and now I mostly just drink water. It's hard, but for me gradual worked best. I hope it's not too stressful!
icequeen I'm sorry you feel like you're struggling, but you really are doing great. Keep taking those steps forward and try not to be discouraged by the steps back. You'll get there!
@led congrats on your accomplishment! I hope the edema lessens soon.
@giamia923 Anger, yes, that is one of my struggles too, especially when I'm getting crappy sleep. I hope you can get a new sleep routine going for your LO soon. And yeah, boss-lady needs to get it together! That's not legal!
@wallflwr926 sorry your H is being a jerk. I hope he shapes up soon! p.s. your avatar pic makes me chuckle every time I see it, and my DS likes it too.

[icequeen]

Mar 17, 2015 20:37:18 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

Mar 17, 2015 20:04:38 GMT -5 icequeen said:

Edited for size-
Im

@wallflwr926, ugh!!!! I'm so sorry for the fake-out. Is it just spotting right now? How is your temp? It's probably a little wacky since you're on vacation. I can't believe YH is being a jerk right now. He just had his birthday! This is supposed to be a happy time for y'all. How aggravating. I hope you get some time to yourself to just decompress. This is your time off, too. Don't let anyone ruin it.

Im beyond aggravated with him today. I told therapy isn't an option anymore. We ended up back his mom's when we were supoosed to go my sister's.
While he ran an errand his mom pulled out some paperwork i've never seen before. He was diagnosed with Adjustment Disorder in 2004. Im not even sure if he knows about this formal diagnosis but im not about to bring it up.

Wow. I guess that explains some of his behavior but I don't think it gives him a excuse to be a jerk for the rest of your marriage. I know he isn't like this every day, but do you think eventually some kind of intervention would help? Or do you think he would just reject it?

[sko14]

@giamia923, sorry Im late to the party haha. Also sorry that you're having problems with your supervisor... I hate when your work environment affects your life. (in the same boat as you there)