Loss check-in 3/25

[cabgirl]

It's been several days since the last one, so I thought I'd go ahead and start a new check in to see how everybody's doing.

How are you doing physically?


How are you doing emotionally?


If you have one, how is your partner/spouse doing?

Bonus: What's one positive thing (big or small) that has happened to you recently? 

[hollyberry]

Thanks for the check in cabgirl, how are you doing?

I have also been joining the check in on CAL, so some of this is repeat, but thats ok.

physically: its been 3 weeks tomorrow ( friday) I think I am on the mend. The small cramps I have been having are fewer and farther between. I plan on testing next week just to make sure its negative. It took 4 weeks with my last loss, and since my dr. Is on holidays I dont see a reason to test earlier. So other then that really just waiting for AF, I hate not knowing when it will come. Still likely 3 weeks away. Again I am just judging from my other loss. Things could very likely be different this time.

Emotionally: ok, I havent cried in about a week or so, but my anxiety is pretty high. The annoying part is that it seems to get worse over the weekends, and that just sucks. It seems to be manageable during the week, then bam something happens and it ruins my weekend with my husband. I do my best to keep it to myself as to not ruin his but its not too easy. I also just try to keep distracted, as best as I can.

SO: he seems to be back to himself, we don't talk about it too much. Really there is not much to talk about (ttc wise or loss wise )since we are on the bench. I guess we will discuss what the next step is after the tests come back and see what the dr says.

bonus: I have been feeling a bit more modivated to get things done around the house, we moved in feb, but I got more boxes unpacked and organised some things. Put down area and floor rugs so now our place looks more like a home. That feels good!

[babyzebra]

Thanks for starting this, cabgirl!

Physically- I am fine. I finally stopped bleeding at 2 weeks to the day after my MC.

Emotionally- I'm ok most days. Last Saturday was kind of rough for me, but overall I'm doing well and ready to move forward.

DH is doing well. He doesn't really talk about it much anymore and we have so much other stuff going on right now that I think has served as a welcomed distraction.

Bonus- I quit my extremely stressful job!! I've never been more sure of any decision that I've made for my career as I am about my decision to leave this job. The only downside is that now we have to move again.

[babyzebra]

hollyberry I'm sorry that you're having some anxiety. I agree that distraction does help. I've moved a lot and I always feel better about making my house look like a home too!

[hollyberry]

Thanks babyzebra!

I am glad seems to me going ok with you, everyday can be a new adventure eh? Happy that you feel a weight lifted with your decision to quit.
GL for looking for a new place. That can be fun and stressful all at the same time. But it is fun putting it all back together!

[cabgirl]

hollyberry, I'm so sorry you're dealing with anxiety. I wonder if how busy you are is a factor? (I'm assuming you work on weekdays.) I've had the same experience, where I'm fine at work but anxious on my days off when I'm not busy. I wonder if making plans for yourself and your H for the weekends would help. If you're semi-sticking to a schedule and have things to do, maybe that would help?

babyzebra, I'm glad you were able to quit the stressful job!

How are you doing physically? I finally feel like I'm completely back to normal physically. Today is 5 weeks since my D&C.

How are you doing emotionally? My period came last Friday, and that made me feel so much better - like I'm truly back to normal again, and like my body knows what it's doing, which was reassuring after having hormones that felt all over the place. It also means we're off the bench and can start trying again. It's frustrating to be back at square one in terms of TTC, but I keep telling myself we're not, really - I learned a lot from those 5 months of temping and charting. I still feel sad pretty often, and anxious. But I'm moving forward.

If you have one, how is your partner/spouse doing? He's doing well, excited to be trying again. He got a little emotional the other night when I mentioned our baby and how far along I would've been now.

Bonus: What's one positive thing (big or small) that has happened to you recently? I had a good day at work yesterday, and felt pretty happy all day. I've been struggling with my job, so that was nice.

[hollyberry]

cabgirl, I dont actually work, but I think you are right. It may be just the change over thats hard. And I never know when it will creep up. And the days that are more planned out are typically better. This weekend is busy so I am hoping it will not be too bad

I am glad your body is getting back to normal, I almost jumped for joy after my first af after my first loss. I am still in the limbo, so thats not fun. And I completely understand about having to start over. Ttc is just so much work! But moving forward is a good thing!

[germaphobe]

How are you doing physically? I am doing fine. i think my body is on it's way to returning to normal. I have still been temping and I am pretty sure I ovulated so that is a step in the right direction. Now I just have to wait for AF and then we can try again.


How are you doing emotionally? Emotionally I think I am a lot better. I have come to terms with what has happened. I can talk about my loss more openly when it comes up. I am still sad thinking about my baby but it isn't ruling my whole day


If you have one, how is your partner/spouse doing? My spouse is fine. He was very encouraging when I told him what I wanted to do to memorialize our lost LO. but other than that we don't really talk about it. I don't think it was really that real for him. He knows that it really affected me.

Bonus: What's one positive thing (big or small) that has happened to you recently? I ordered me charm necklace with an angel wing charm to help me memorialize my loss. It should be here today, and just anticipating it's arrival makes me feel more at peace.

[hollyberry]

germaphobe, I am glad you are feeling more at peace. Its a nice feeling to feel more like youself. I hope Af comes right on time for you! Waiting is just awful!

[babyzebra]

Woohoo I just heard from my OB's office that my betas are now down to 300 from 21,000 two weeks ago. I go back in 2 weeks for another blood draw. It's slow, but I'm going in the right direction.

[crazycatlady6]

How are you doing physically?

Physically, I am ok. The bleeding has almost stopped and I committed to 2 half marathons next month so now I am getting back to running again.

How are you doing emotionally?

Not too well. Yesterday, I was a weepy mess. Today, I am pissed off at the world. It's a new emotion a day and there have not been many happy moments lately.

If you have one, how is your partner/spouse doing?

He is doing ok, he has found himself getting angry over things that wouldn't bother him otherwise.

Bonus: What's one positive thing (big or small) that has happened to you recently?

I got cleared to run again and my friend took me out to lunch on Tuesday.

[hollyberry]

crazycatlady6, I am so sorry you are having a hard time. Take the time that you need and be nice to youreself. So many hugs*

[mrssqueegy]

Hello and big hugs to all!

Today is 3 weeks since my D&C. I'm feeling fine physically. I think I ovulated this week so my body seems to be getting back to normal.

Emotionally I'm doing pretty well. The first two weeks were rough but it seems like a cloud has lifted. It's probably the hormones.

DH keeps saying he's doing fine when I ask him. We have a lot of stress (not TTC-related) right now so we've been snapping at each other more.

Bonus: My mom booked a trip to visit us in a couple weeks!

babyzebra, you quit your job??? I'm so glad that you feel better and I hope you can find something much less stressful for you.

[babyzebra]

cabgirl I'm glad that you got your period and that it's making you feel more normal. Good luck with TTC!

germaphobe I'm glad that you are doing a little better physically and emotionally. I hope you like the charm necklace you got and that it brings you some peace.

crazycatlady6 I'm really sorry to hear that you're having a hard time emotionally. I hope that you can start to feel some peace soon. I'm glad you're able to run again. The half marathon is a great distance, good luck!

mrssqueegy I'm glad that you're feeling better physically and emotionally. I totally get the non-TTC related stress thing and I hope you and your DH get some relief from that soon. I hope you have fun with your mom visiting!

[hollyberry]

mrssqueegy, that nice that your mom is heading your way. I hope the stress eases some for you and your SO. * hugs*

[vballbaby]

I'm a little late but I still wanted to check in.

How are you doing physically? Fine, despite some extra annoying weight hanging around. Beta two days ago was 19 at 3 wks post D&C. Feeling PMS'ish.


How are you doing emotionally? I had an unexpected trigger a couple days ago and I cried. As silly as it sounds, DH's parents are in town and we were going to go to dinner at Capital Grille. Well, last time we went there was when I was about 6 weeks pregnant and we made toasts and I got totally grossed out by the seafood platter they got for appetizer. They wanted to go there again and the whole day I started thinking about it and imagining myself there, not pregant, the seafood platter coming etc etc. So after losing it to my DH, he changed the plans for a different restaurant and was very understanding. But just the thought of being there again was a huge trigger and I totally wasn't expecting that. I also cried a little on my 5 mile walk yesterday - you'd think exercising would suppress but I think I've been holding up so well that eventually I just starting cracking a little. I'm ok now.

If you have one, how is your partner/spouse doing? He's fine, we're both looking forward to trying again. We don't talk about it much anymore but if I get sad, he's always super sweet and supportive.

Bonus: What's one positive thing (big or small) that has happened to you recently? DH booked a 1st anniversary trip to the Caribbean for May which I'm super pumped about! This should coincide with just before cycling again so it should be a great destressor.

[hollyberry]

vballbaby, I am sorry you have had a hard time lately. It comes and goes, and I never know when or what could trigger me. Glad you are feeling better today. It is so nice that you SO is so supportive, and changed the restaurant. I dont know what I would do without mine either.

[danenikki]

Hugs ladies.

Sorry I'm a little late. Work was crazy this week.

Physically: stopped spotting and I'm 2 weeks from MC today. So that's great.

Emotionally: I'm a little bit of a wreck. I've been so sensitive and it's causing DH and I to fight. That stinks. We talked this morning and I hope I can cool it a little bit.

DH is doing fine and we don't really talk about ttc or the loss.

Bonus: Went shopping last Saturday with my mom and sister and then got my hair done.

[hollyberry]

danenikki, I am sorry things have been rough! I hope that they get better for you. ( I see you intro'd on the other board, I was sure I saw you picture before but I was such a lurker for quite a while before I intro'd I wasn't sure if it was then or now) anyhow, sending plenty of hugs and fingers crossed for a better weekend!

[mrssqueegy]

My RE's office called and my beta was zero yesterday. I guess that is that.

[danenikki]

hollyberry, thanks I'm kinda excited I finally intro'd. Is that weird?

[hollyberry]

Mar 27, 2015 15:51:54 GMT -5 danenikki said:

hollyberry, thanks I'm kinda excited I finally intro'd. Is that weird?

 not weird at all, i also felt good afterward! i intro'd there first but liked that this bord was a bit more abiut recent, recent loss. Both boards are great!

[swivelchair5]

I'm a little late to the party, but wanted to share my update.

How are you doing physically? Back to normal, we are TTC again and I am 2 DPO.

How are you doing emotionally? Most days just fine. Last week a co-worker told me it looked like I had lost some weight. Well, that's because the last time she saw me, I was 10 weeks pregnant and keeping my pants closed with a hair-tie. Why do people think it is ok to comment on other people's weight anyways? It's none of their business.

If you have one, how is your partner/spouse doing? Seems to be doing better. I (finally) got my last hospital bill, and that seemed to give him some closure.

Bonus: What's one positive thing (big or small) that has happened to you recently? I am buying a house! If all continues to plan, we close in 3 weeks.

[nikolie93]

*hugs* to all you ladies that need them!

[hollyberry]

swivelchair5, congratulations on the house! That super exciting!

[hollyberry]

opheliainwaders, its very nice that your H has been so good, mine has also been my rock! I don't know how hard it would have been without that support. I am sorry about the blood work coming back. Its hard. Hugs!!

[rablissful]

I've been so busy this week that I totally forgot about check-in. Thanks cabgirl for starting it!

((hugs)) to those who need them, High-fives to those who are doing better!

How are you doing physically?
Totally back to normal physically... still waiting for mother f'n AF.

How are you doing emotionally?
I WAS doing fine. I realized this coming Monday would mark 6 weeks since my mc and there is literally no sign of AF appearing. I'm pissed. Partially because tomorrow is my birthday and I was hoping to be passed all this shit by now and partially because if it doesn't show up by next Wednesday I'm going to have to call the midwife and get testing done. I'm not happy by either of these things. I just want this whole process to be over.

**warning pregnancy mentioned (not mine)**
I also have to see my sister who is pregnant on Sunday for the first time since my loss. Turns out she's having a girl, and I'm sure she's sporting a decent bump by now. This is her second. This is the other reason I wanted AF by now because then I think I'd be more emotionally ready to handle this if I knew that we could start trying by the time I saw her.

All around I'm kind of shitty emotionally I guess.


If you have one, how is your partner/spouse doing?
He's fine. He's so wrapped up in the process to buy our house that we haven't talked about all this in awhile.

Bonus: What's one positive thing (big or small) that has happened to you recently?
Crew for the play is still going well. On Monday one of my kids said something that made me double over laughing hysterically. That hasn't happened in awhile, so it was nice!

[cabgirl]

Hugs, rablissful. I'm so sorry you're having a hard time and that you're still waiting on your period. It's so hard having to wait, and not knowing when it might come. Hopefully it's on its way, and you won't need to call the midwife. I'm sorry you're having to cope with your sister's pregnancy right now. I honestly can't imagine what that would feel like. I'm sending you good thoughts and hoping things start looking up really soon. PM me if you feel like talking, okay?

[rablissful]

Apr 1, 2015 19:21:48 GMT -5 cabgirl said:

Hugs, rablissful. I'm so sorry you're having a hard time and that you're still waiting on your period. It's so hard having to wait, and not knowing when it might come. Hopefully it's on its way, and you won't need to call the midwife. I'm sorry you're having to cope with your sister's pregnancy right now. I honestly can't imagine what that would feel like. I'm sending you good thoughts and hoping things start looking up really soon. PM me if you feel like talking, okay?

Thanks! I appreciate it.

It really didn't help that teenagers think it's HILARIOUS to claim they're pregnant for April fool's. All. Damn. Day. Screeching about it in the hall. Kill me.

[babyzebra]

Apr 1, 2015 19:48:42 GMT -5 rablissful said:

Apr 1, 2015 19:21:48 GMT -5 cabgirl said:

Hugs, rablissful. I'm so sorry you're having a hard time and that you're still waiting on your period. It's so hard having to wait, and not knowing when it might come. Hopefully it's on its way, and you won't need to call the midwife. I'm sorry you're having to cope with your sister's pregnancy right now. I honestly can't imagine what that would feel like. I'm sending you good thoughts and hoping things start looking up really soon. PM me if you feel like talking, okay?

Thanks! I appreciate it.

It really didn't help that teenagers think it's HILARIOUS to claim they're pregnant for April fool's. All. Damn. Day. Screeching about it in the hall. Kill me.

That was really tough yesterday for April Fools Day. I didn't have too many people pull that joke on Facebook, but there were a few. Most teenagers are just too immature to realize the impact of their joke and that it's not funny. I'm sorry you had to deal with that so much yesterday. ((Hugs))