FTM Question: Sleeping and Room-sharing (Apology in advance)

[0ashley]

We borrowed a bassinet but our baby wasn't sleeping well (so neither were we) until he moved to his own room. Parents' breathing is supposed to be comforting to the baby but maybe my H's snoring kept him up? No idea. I might set up the big crib in our room or a pack and play but I'm just going to play it by ear rather than buy tons of gear. We camp in an RV during our free summer weekends so I'm also looking for a travel crib, and may get one that doubles as a bassinet we can use for the first weeks/months.

[CoachTsWife]

Our new little niece was in a rock n play consistently, and they've had trouble getting her used to sleeping on a flat surface where she isn't in a cocoon-like position. Any thoughts on that? I'm hesitating to get one because of that reason.

I had planned (in all my FTM knowledge hahaha) to have the baby in their room, in their crib, from the time we come home from the hospital. The nursery is right across the hall from our bedroom.

Thanks for this thread and all the feedback. I haven't fully changed my mind yet, but I have a couple new considerations.

[maritimemama3]

CoachTsWife I remember a lot of ladies on my old BMB having that issue with the RnP, but I have no personal experience.

[Nittany]

We had DS in our room for a month and a half in a rock n play. I cannot say enough good things about the Rock n play -- in fact my BFF just had her first baby and tried one out after a month of her new baby not sleeping and apparently the baby is going 5 hour stretches sleeping in he RNP.

In the first month or two I think we were both up a lot with the baby and after it became too distracting to us to have him sleep in our room he went to his room in the crib.

Similar plan this time.

[natalie115]

I'm definitely going to be repeating what PP's have said as I didt read through all the comments.

We're room sharing/co sleeping parents. That's what worked for us. It was soooooo much easier having DS right there in the room with us especially when he was a newborn. It would have made me more exhauseted to have to get up and walk to his room every 2 hours to nurse. He slept in our room and usually at least half the night in our bed until he was like 8 months old. Honestly I was a little nervous for him to sleep in his room alone. When we moved him to his crib it went well and now he loves his bed.

I also read up a lot on how room sharing/safe co sleeping lowers the risk of SIDS. It has to do with the baby being close to mom and her breathing/sleeping cycles help regulate the baby's. I also looked worldwide and how we are pretty much alone as a culture insisting that babies sleepy on their own and discouraging room or bed sharing. Other countries look at us and think we're crazy, plus the countries where do sleeping/room sharing are the norm have lower SIDS rates than us.

You need to do what's right for you though. Try a consignment store or ask friends/relatives if anyone has a bassinet/co sleeper/pack n play/rock n play you can borrow. Try it out and see if you like having the baby close by. I can assure you that the crib and nursery will get use, but it doesn't have to be right away.

[ashiscute]

I am going to agree with almost everyone about a rock n play. They are really only like $50 tops on amazon so they aren't a huge budget buster.

You won't know how you feel until your LO is here so I would have multiple options ready. My SIL was 100% going to put my niece in her crib in her room the first night. Instead she co-slept with my niece until she was 1. Both of mine were in our room to begin with. DD for 3 months and DS for 5. It's just so much more convenient at the beginning.

And like other posters I give zero fucks if DH wakes up because of the baby.

[rach]

We are planning to have the baby in our room. Long term, I'm going to move DD2 downstairs to a bedroom and make her room the nursery. I'm not ready for DD2 being that far away just yet mostly. LOL

I had a bassinet and a rock and play like thing with DD2. DD1 loved the bassinet, but DD2 was all about that rock & play. It was the only way (besides holding her and bed-sharing) that we got her to sleep.

No idea what we'll get yet with this LO. I gave away all the stuff we had previously... If I could find a small travel bassinet similar to what we used with our first 2 girls, I would love to have another one. It folded completely flat and made it easy to move around the house.

[ladymondegreen]

I'm plannning on having the baby in our room for the first little while; we'll play it by ear. I think the transition to having him or her in another room might be difficult, but I'll just need a good baby monitor I guess (considering a video monitor, or maybe the Angelcare motion-sensor one).

We haven't decided yet what baby will sleep in when we room together. The front runners are a pack 'n' play, or maybe the bassinet that comes with the Uppababy Vista, if we decide to splurge on the luxury stroller. We'll see.

[deerinheadlights]

RnP for sure! It doesn't take up much space and it's very light and easy to move from room to room.

We had DS in our room until he
was 10 months. We had zero issues with transition to the crib in his room.

[lynnyloo]

Jan 20, 2015 13:22:53 GMT -5 maritimemama3 said:

CoachTsWife I remember a lot of ladies on my old BMB having that issue with the RnP, but I have no personal experience.

This. We didn't use a RnP last time around and am somewhat glad we didn't as a lot of the ladies on my old BMB had trouble transitioning their babies to lying flat vs. cocooned. Last time I didn't purchase one because I was concerned about the reports of RnP leading to increased incidence of flat spots. However, DD still ended up with a flat spot and torticollis that we had evaluated by EI.

[mischiefmama]

We still have our RnP from last time and if this LO likes it I'm buying a second so I have one on every floor of the house. I didn't have an issue transitioning DS to his crib, it wasn't instantaneous but it wasn't difficult either. He wasn't much for being swaddled though, so the only thing he had to get used to was the angle.

[ladyannibal]

We're room-sharing because we have space issues. I'm trying to see if my uncle in-law (is that a thing?) can build me a co-sleeper because I fell in love with one I saw on Pintrest and just had to have it. My siblings and I all slept in bed with mom while we were infants as well. I think it'll be fine (:

[sahmommie]

DS was in our room in a bassinet or bed sharing until he started STTN at 4 months. My DH though a heavier sleeper mostly slept on the couch (of his own choice) when DS was in the room so he could sleep better. He couldn't hang with the lights being on and off plus me watching tv when DS didn't want to sleep.
With this babe we will be using the pack and play with bassinet attachment in our room and will more then likely be in our room longer due to us being in a 2 bedroom and I don't want to put baby in DS room disturbing his sleep.
We are trying to get some debt taken of before we start a home buying process which I REALLY want to do before DS starts school in September so helpfully if all goes well by the time baby is STTN we will already be in a house. Wishful thinking but I'm holding on to it.

[catladymeow]

We live in a 1 bedroom apartment and have no desire to move. We plan on using a co-sleeper for as long as possible and then maybe sidecarring a crib. It will be a bit tight, but I think there is room.

[akmom]

With two of our children, they only stayed in our room for less than a month. We found that they were just too noisy, even while they were sleeping. We were getting no sleep and they just kept waking up. When we moved them to their own room, they slept for longer stretches, and we slept better.

Even if you choose to keep the baby in your room for the first six months, you still will get use out of the nursery. Some of our kids have stayed in their cribs until they were close to three.

[LoveLach]

Wow, reading through this thread has been a huge help.

My husband and I won't know if we'll be able to move from our current apartment until April, and finding a place for a nursery here was stressing me out. So now I'm thinking we might get a co-sleeper or bassinet for the first few months, instead of a crib, until we can move. Then maybe we'll get a crib for Christmas

[mehlaknee]

yea, Im doing a arms reach sleeper next to our bed too, for the first couple months that is. Really, you dont need a crib for a while if you do this. Just way too convenient.

[elauren88]

We also had no issues with the RnP, and will be using it again this time.we also bed share, so that's what works for us. DD had no problems switching to her crib at 9 months.
However, my niece was in her crib, in her nursery from day one. Never had an issue I ever heard about.

[wells2010]

We are not really into bed or room sharing, so by 2 months, DD was alone in her nursery. We had her in a rock n play in the beginning next to our bed. This gave her her own separate safe space and allowed me to be within arms reach of her.

DD always slept great, so once she was two months we weren't reallygetting up much with her throughout the night, so it wasn't too bad.

Just decide on what you prefer. There are good points to bed sharing and not bed sharing, but it's important you know how to bed share properly if you decide to do that in order to keep baby safe.

[Deleted]

FTM here, and I really appreciate this thread! Ton of good info.

[ashiscute]

I just want to point out for second time moms what worked for your first isn't guaranteed to work with your second. I know that sounds stupid and obvious but it's easy to say "well I know what worked for us before." I know when DS came we thought we knew what to do but we didn't.

The person who has the biggest say in your sleeping arrangement is the baby. With DD she was in our room for almost 3 months then went to her crib in her room no problems. DS however had reflux and was in our room until 5 months and then was in the swing or co-sleeping until 7 months when he finally started sleeping in his crib in his room.