Yeah, I'm thinking that I will be asking people if they have guns in their home.
This is something I have never thought of asking but where I live guns are pretty common so it is probably reasonable to ask. I have personally seen young people (patients) who were affected by accidental gun tragedies.
As for us we don't have any guns. I wouldn't be offended if someone asked.
DH does have guns, which to be honest, I don't love. He made it clear from the beginning that it was important to him. He's a military history nut and enjoys going to the range. I think he'd be safe and responsible anyways, but my rules for having them are separate gun/ammo safes. Always kept locked in safe, unloaded, with trigger locks. The first thing he did was take a gun safety course and had me come with him. Our own kids don't know they exist yet. We don't know what age, but we will eventually have the kids take gun safety courses and maybe allow them to go to the range with DH when they're old/mature enough. They'll never be able to access the safe. DH wants to get fingerprint ones soon.
I really don't love having guns and don't advertise the fact, so I probably wouldn't tell parents. But if they asked, I would be very open and honest about it. Probably wouldn't show them the safes tucked away in my bedroom though.
I think people would assume we do because my husband is law enforcement. If they ask I would tell them that we do and that we keep them safely locked away in a gun safe. I don't know that I would just tell them without being asked.
Post by goldenbird on Jan 20, 2015 19:02:03 GMT -5
We will never have guns in the home as far as I know. If we did I don't think I would tell others. It would be in a locked safe or something. But we don't have kids yet so my feelings on this are influenced by that fact. I would want to know for sure if my kid was somewhere where guns were anywhere except in a locked safe in an isolated room. If we did have guns and a parent asked before bringing their child over for a playdate or whatnot, I would tell them yes and explain storage. I respect that some parents might not want their kid playing in a home where there are guns.
No, I won't be volunteering the info. If they ask, I will say yes and that it is safely secured. If they ask to see where it is and how it is secured I will refuse. I live in an area where it would probably be assumed that you have a gun. IDK if I will be asking about guns on DS's play dates. I plan on hammering it into his head that guns are extremely dangerous and should never be handled and to tell an adult immediately if someone else is holding one.
I live in area an where it's just assumed everyone owns guns. We own many guns. Hunting rifles, shot guns, and handguns. All are locked in a safe.
I would not be offended if someone asked if we had guns and if they were safely stored. But I absolutely will not show them. Homes are broken into all the time and have guns stolen. I also wouldn't be offended if that child wasn't allowed to play at my house. That is your right as a parent to decide where your kid can or cannot go. DD will be taught gun safety as soon as she's old enough to understand.
No, I won't be volunteering the info. If they ask, I will say yes and that it is safely secured. If they ask to see where it is and how it is secured I will refuse. I live in an area where it would probably be assumed that you have a gun. IDK if I will be asking about guns on DS's play dates. I plan on hammering it into his head that guns are extremely dangerous and should never be handled and to tell an adult immediately if someone else is holding one.
I wouldn't trust my kid to "act right" where gun safety is concerned. Numerous studies have shown that kids will handle guns even when they have been told/trained to get an adult.
I doubt I'll trust my kid either, that's why I said I don't know if I will be asking or not yet. DS is only 2, I still have a lot of time to think about how to handle the situation. Right now, the only place he stays is MILs. I know that her husband keeps his issue and personal weapons unloaded in a keypad safe.
I'm sad to read that studies show even kids who should know better mess with guns. I hadn't researched it at all yet, but was planning to demystify them by taking the kids to a gun safety course and allowing then to go to the range with DH if they wanted when we determined they were ready. I mean, we always agreed they wouldn't know how to access the safe just in case, so that for sure will continue.
Post by Lrachelle80 on Jan 20, 2015 22:05:40 GMT -5
So I posted this in a separate thread because I missed this, but it's relevant.
DD1 has started to play guns. She's 3.5. I'm guessing she picked it up at school but don't know for sure. I asked her to stop and explained that guns hurt people, and that we don't play hurting games. She stopped for a minute, then replied, "Ok. This gun just shoots clouds. It doesn't hurt people."
I'm not sure what to do. I want her to have a healthy respect and fear of guns, so I don't like the idea of pretending that they don't hurt people (in my head I have this ridiculous and incredibly unlikely scenario of her an unattended gun and being like, "This one just shoots clouds!" and shooting someone or getting shot). As far as I know, we don't have any friends with guns, but with all the accidental shootings, I want to talk to her about guns and make it clear that she's not to touch them, and if she sees one, she needs to tell an adult ASAP. But also, I'm not going to ban her from water guns or nerf guns, so stopping her from playing "cloud" guns seems ridiculous.
Any ideas how to talk to her about this?
Regarding asking about for playdates, I'd ask if it was a new house, I think. And if someone just said, "Oh, they're safe, don't worry," I would probably dig deeper. But if they went on a five minute long diatribe about gun safety and the details of their fingerprint safe etc, etc, I'd feel much safer. I don't know anything about guns, so I would never think that asking detailed questions would make a gun owner nervous. Since I don't know much about gun safety, all I can go off of is the openness and tone and willingness to share information from the parent. If that makes sense.
We teach this to DS and was pleasantly surprised when he came home and said school taught that as well.
. Thank you for this. I think this will be key. I am terrified of my boys playing at houses with guns (that aren't properly stored/secured.) I don't feel that you all are necessarily representative of all gun owners. You are intelligent, thoughtful and safety minded. I'm sure just as there are many super responsible gun owners, there are many who are not and that terrifies me. It's clear educating my children is important. I'm just afraid of their natural curiousity overriding what they know they shouldn't do.
All of this. I wasn't nervous about this until I read this thread
Post by saltypearl on Jan 20, 2015 23:03:01 GMT -5
I don't see the point in telling in my case. It would take me 40 min to move all the crap out of the way of the safe, which is not in a public area, let alone unlock it. To be honest I'm not entirely sure how many are in there.
If you have a gun in your home, will you be informing the parents of your child's friends that there is a gun in the home? Would you be offended if they ask?
I know that some of you live in areas where most people have guns in their home, so it might be an assumed. I live on Long Island and it is not common for people to have guns in the home.
We only have a BB gun. If I did have a gun if someone asked I would tell them and not be offended. I live in West Virginia so many of my friends hunt so I talk to my children about guns and what to do if they see one.
A family member of mine is an alcoholic. At a family party, he got super drunk and left his pants in the hallway when he went to go swimming. He had a loaded gun in those pants, about 10 feet from where my 4 year old DS was playing. I can't stop thinking about what would have happened if it were my DS that found the gun and not my father.
Post by policewife314 on Jan 21, 2015 16:37:41 GMT -5
Everyone knows DH is a LEO so I would think it'd be a given that we have weapons in our home. They are kept locked in a safe and that's the only information I would give if anyone asked. I would not give specific location and/or weapon information.
Post by wallyworld on Jan 21, 2015 16:41:15 GMT -5
Food for thought...who the hell is going to admit to you that in fact, they leave their loaded handgun in their night stand ready to go? They're going to lie to your face and tell you that either they don't have guns or that they are locked up.
Food for thought...who the hell is going to admit to you that in fact, they leave their loaded handgun in their night stand ready to go? They're going to lie to your face and tell you that either they don't have guns or that they are locked up.
An excellent point. I'm vocal about not being a gun fan and vocal about responsible gun ownership and safe storage. So I would 100% ask, and I wouldn't take "Safe, no worries" as an answer, though there comes a point at which you have to assess how likely it is that the person in front of you is being truthful. If I can't trust someone to be honest about storing guns and tell me that they are stored in a biometric safe/whatever, then do I really want to leave my child in their care?
Probably no, which is why I might suggest neutral locations and/or my house. Trust plays a role, instinct plays a role, common sense plays a role.
I think I am going to have play dates on neutral territory, like the park or something. What the fuck is California good for if not for the fact that maybe 10 days out the year it is shitty weather for the park.
Post by redhorizon343 on Jan 21, 2015 17:12:27 GMT -5
When you send your child to someone else's home and leave them in another's care, you are trusting them to be responsible. That includes responsible gun ownership. If you can't trust that they will be responsible about it, don't drop your kids off. It doesn't warrant discussion
Post by blinkme182 on Jan 21, 2015 17:20:53 GMT -5
We have guns and we are hunters so I like to think most people assume we have guns in our home. H and I also teach firearm safety and most our friends know this, so they know guns are a pretty open topic in our world.
I don't disclose that we have guns in the house, and I would never be offended if someone wanted to know our storage/safety practices before coming over or allowing their child to play.
We have guns and we are hunters so I like to think most people assume we have guns in our home. H and I also teach firearm safety and most our friends know this, so they know guns are a pretty open topic in our world.
I don't disclose that we have guns in the house, and I would never be offended if someone wanted to know our storage/safety practices before coming over or allowing their child to play.
To add to this.. if someone asked me where they are. I'd let them know they are in the safe. I would not want to show them and all that.... I'd let them know they are properly locked in a safe, in an area/room of the house the children wont be in.
It is in the 'man cave' read that as storage room in the basement with the furnace and water heater.
I had no idea that so many people had guns in their homes.
I don't need you to open your damn safe to show me the gun, but I would really appreciate an answer mentioned by leroybrown in a different thread. It was something like "when DH gets home, he goes immediately to put the gun away. It's stored in a safe that is accessible only via code and the safe itself it outside of children's reach." I would also appreciate verbal assurance from the gun owner that they will provide active supervision to ensure the kids aren't allowed in the room in which the gun is stored.
Maybe this is extreme, but it seems reasonable for both sides of the argument.
When you send your child to someone else's home and leave them in another's care, you are trusting them to be responsible. That includes responsible gun ownership. If you can't trust that they will be responsible about it, don't drop your kids off. It doesn't warrant discussion
When you send your child to someone else's home and leave them in another's care, you are trusting them to be responsible. That includes responsible gun ownership. If you can't trust that they will be responsible about it, don't drop your kids off. It doesn't warrant discussion
...yes it warrants a discussion.
If you don't want to discuss it...
I don't mean that it doesn't warrant a discussion HERE. I mean that it doesn't warrant a discussion with every parent whose home your child is spending time in, because it should be a given that you trust that adult to keep your child/children safe while she/he/they are in that adult's care.
We only have a BB gun. If I did have a gun if someone asked I would tell them and not be offended. I live in West Virginia so many of my friends hunt so I talk to my children about guns and what to do if they see one.
Where in WV? I'm on the WV border in Ohio!
Delurking for a moment, but my hometown is on the WV/OH border too. We moved but that's pretty neat to see someone else from that area.
Post by sassypantzz on Jan 22, 2015 0:24:10 GMT -5
I know I wouldn't show specific locations of our firearms but I'm comfortable sharing HOW they are stored. I have my handgun in a biometric safe and DH has all his in a Gillion pound fire safe gun safe. Requires a combination. Nothing is laying around unless on my husband. As much as I am a gun right supporter I would NOT AT ALL think any less of a parent choosing to not send their child. It's a personal comfort level and I would be happy to have play dates at another location.
I had no idea that so many people had guns in their homes.
I don't need you to open your damn safe to show me the gun, but I would really appreciate an answer mentioned by leroybrown in a different thread. It was something like "when DH gets home, he goes immediately to put the gun away. It's stored in a safe that is accessible only via code and the safe itself it outside of children's reach." I would also appreciate verbal assurance from the gun owner that they will provide active supervision to ensure the kids aren't allowed in the room in which the gun is stored.
Maybe this is extreme, but it seems reasonable for both sides of the argument.
DH is an LEO and just has his one duty weapon. DD is almost two and starting to poke around so this thread has been food for thought. I would give an answer like the above, because that's how it is in our home.
When you send your child to someone else's home and leave them in another's care, you are trusting them to be responsible. That includes responsible gun ownership. If you can't trust that they will be responsible about it, don't drop your kids off. It doesn't warrant discussion
Just because I trust someone to be responsible doesn't mean I don't need to or want to discuss specifics of said responsibility. That's like saying I trust this person so I just assume they will properly handle my child's fill in the blank allergy. Nope, I'm going to go over specifics and not chance anything.
I don't really see the comparison to a child's special need's (allergy or otherwise) but agree to disagree. I grew up the daughter of a cop, it was a given that guns were in the house. Nobody ever asked about it, they trusted my parents to keep everyone safe. Which they did. I guess it really is a community thing.
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