Craptastic Easter Stories

[jnnfrrose6]

Apr 6, 2015 14:53:55 GMT -5 isolemnlyswear said:

Apr 6, 2015 14:47:52 GMT -5 Lola said:

isolemnlyswear, but did he admit that he was over-reacting??

No. It'll never happen. He'll say that everything he does is for C and I think he thinks he is vulcan...everything he does is calculated and logical. So if I disagree then I'm by reason illogical. So if he has an opinion I have to follow his suggestion or I'm not listening. No DH you can have an opinion... I can listen and not want to do it still.

Sorry for hijacking the thread!

My hubs gives me the "I'm logical/rational" crap all the time. Um, not always, dude. Think about it. Especially for you in this situation. Not logical at all dude. Worried about germs in the bottom of the shower?  Really?  What's logical about that and how is this about C?

[honeybee434]

DH and I started the day with an argument because he took over an hour to get ready. I was just irritated about it. I'm lucky if I get 25 minutes before DD throws a fit but he thinks he needs to take an hour and fifteen minutes? I pick fights lately because he seems to think it's fine for him to do whatever he wants on his days off because he has me there to be with DD. I don't get breaks. So I work full time, have an hour and 45 minutes in the car with my commute each day, wake up with her 2-3 times a night, and then get her 24/7 on my days off. No me time ever. But he gets to do what he wants whenever he wants. This mama has life piled on top high.

[Leapinglizards]

Apr 6, 2015 10:27:24 GMT -5 @iheartmyshiba said:

Hugs to all you mamas with husband issues. We bicker every so often but don't really have full blown yelling fights. We've had maybe a handful of serious arguments in the 4 years we've been married. Although I am guilty of internalizing but eventually DH realizes I am doing that and we have a heart to heart. It usually involves me crying and then things are better again. I also talk myself off the edge a lot when I get upset and try to understand things from his side. That works about 50/50.

I would love for our relationship to work like this.

Question, what does y'all's normal schedule or division of labor in the evenings or weekends?

[soon2bmrsn]

Apr 6, 2015 15:22:04 GMT -5 Leapinglizards said:

Apr 6, 2015 10:27:24 GMT -5 @iheartmyshiba said:

Hugs to all you mamas with husband issues. We bicker every so often but don't really have full blown yelling fights. We've had maybe a handful of serious arguments in the 4 years we've been married. Although I am guilty of internalizing but eventually DH realizes I am doing that and we have a heart to heart. It usually involves me crying and then things are better again. I also talk myself off the edge a lot when I get upset and try to understand things from his side. That works about 50/50.

I would love for our relationship to work like this.

Question, what does y'all's normal schedule or division of labor in the evenings or weekends?

I do all of the inside stuff, including taking care of the kids and cooking. He does the outside stuff. Which means he gets ~6 months off, save for a few snow storms that require him to shovel the driveway.

eta: oh, he does sort the laundry as his inside contribution. HOTY.

Normally I cut him more slack because he does work a lot but I'm still mad about what he said yesterday.

[Lola]

Apr 6, 2015 15:08:16 GMT -5 honeybee434 said:

DH and I started the day with an argument because he took over an hour to get ready. I was just irritated about it. I'm lucky if I get 25 minutes before DD throws a fit but he thinks he needs to take an hour and fifteen minutes? I pick fights lately because he seems to think it's fine for him to do whatever he wants on his days off because he has me there to be with DD. I don't get breaks. So I work full time, have an hour and 45 minutes in the car with my commute each day, wake up with her 2-3 times a night, and then get her 24/7 on my days off. No me time ever. But he gets to do what he wants whenever he wants. This mama has life piled on top high.

I hear you on this. It helped us to put absolutely everything on the calendar. Dh then realized how busy I was. So I started scheduling my me time. He knew ahead of time when it was.

[anotherdreamer]

I have a petty rant.

My mom told me that she wasn't doing anything for Easter this year, so I invited her over here for Easter. I was doing my own thing because neither side was having a get-together this year, just dinner and eggs with my kids- nothing fancy. I knew she wouldn't show up, but I extended the invite anyway. Well, then I proceed to see on FB that she is over at my cousins making her an Easter meal, and coloring eggs with her kids, and everything else. Then I find out she invited my a-hole brother and his kids over to my cousin's. Then later she posts photos of another cousins kids at her apartment on Easter. I don't so much mind that she didn't show up, but I'd be lying if it didn't bother me that she took the time to visit everyone else and invite them over.

This is the same woman who didn't even text or call me for my 30th birthday this year, so it really doesn't come as a surprise- but it still stings.

[soon2bmrsn]

Apr 6, 2015 16:30:08 GMT -5 anotherdreamer said:

I have a petty rant.

My mom told me that she wasn't doing anything for Easter this year, so I invited her over here for Easter. I was doing my own thing because neither side was having a get-together this year, just dinner and eggs with my kids- nothing fancy. I knew she wouldn't show up, but I extended the invite anyway. Well, then I proceed to see on FB that she is over at my cousins making her an Easter meal, and coloring eggs with her kids, and everything else. Then I find out she invited my a-hole brother and his kids over to my cousin's. Then later she posts photos of another cousins kids at her apartment on Easter. I don't so much mind that she didn't show up, but I'd be lying if it didn't bother me that she took the time to visit everyone else and invite them over.

This is the same woman who didn't even text or call me for my 30th birthday this year, so it really doesn't come as a surprise- but it still stings.

That's not petty at all. I'm sorry.

[liziz]

H is great about how much he does, but it still feels like baby care defaults to me.
I feed her in the morning and then set her down to play and leave. H handles changing and dressing her and dropping her off at the babysitter. I pick her up, feed and head home. I unpack from the day/start laundry/wash my pump parts, and then take the dog and baby out for a walk. H is usually home when I get back (if he isn't home in time to join us on a walk), and he feeds her (food that I am preparing and getting out for them). Then bathtime (I get the bath ready, he washes her), and I nurse her and put her to bed. After he spends 45 minutes in the bathroom, he typically starts/makes dinner and we eat after LO is down.
Weekends, it seems like every time H is really getting in to playing with her, it's time for her to eat, and I get her back, and then it takes me another hour to hand her back to H after she nurses. I've been working on blocking off time for myself on Saturdays...it's working well so far, as long as I schedule it with H in advance.

[kelpsu]

Apr 6, 2015 14:53:55 GMT -5 isolemnlyswear said:

Apr 6, 2015 14:47:52 GMT -5 Lola said:

isolemnlyswear, but did he admit that he was over-reacting??

No. It'll never happen. He'll say that everything he does is for C and I think he thinks he is vulcan...everything he does is calculated and logical. So if I disagree then I'm by reason illogical. So if he has an opinion I have to follow his suggestion or I'm not listening. No DH you can have an opinion... I can listen and not want to do it still.

Sorry for hijacking the thread!

No worries... Pretty much every thread on these boards get side tracked... But that's the point! Open convos with a friendly and understanding community.

I think H and I have a bad habit of nit picking (awful phrase btw... Lice is yucky) and sometimes it escalates out of nowhere. One time H and I were dressing DS after his bath and H told me I put the diaper on wrong and then literally undid it and redid it just like I had it. We are talking disposable diapers here plus I somehow had managed to correctly diaper him all day, everyday while I was on ML.  I think smoke was coming out of my ears when he did that and I had to leave the room so I wouldn't totally lose it in front of DS.

[anotherdreamer]

Thanks ladies. I feel like it's petty because I really should be used to this by now, it's nothing new... it's just really shitty.

[mamanorris]

anotherdreamer, it's not petty and you shouldn't be used to being treated like that. It's her loss, she is missing out on her awesome grandkids and daughter. Sorry she treats you like this.

[honeybee434]

anotherdreamer That would bother me a lot, too. I'm sorry you have to deal with that!

[Leapinglizards]

Apr 6, 2015 14:53:55 GMT -5 isolemnlyswear said:

Apr 6, 2015 14:47:52 GMT -5 Lola said:

isolemnlyswear, but did he admit that he was over-reacting??

No. It'll never happen. He'll say that everything he does is for C and I think he thinks he is vulcan...everything he does is calculated and logical. So if I disagree then I'm by reason illogical. So if he has an opinion I have to follow his suggestion or I'm not listening. No DH you can have an opinion... I can listen and not want to do it still.

Sorry for hijacking the thread!

,

Does he respond to being out logiced?

[kelpsu]

Apr 6, 2015 18:13:18 GMT -5 anotherdreamer said:

Thanks ladies. I feel like it's petty because I really should be used to this by now, it's nothing new... it's just really shitty.

I can relate to you. My family acts like that and then if I express how hurt I am they act like I'm needy and say that I'm too sensitive.  I guess I've heard that so much growing up that I believe it and then feel guilty that I got offended. It's effed up. But on the other hand it's like I've learned to deal with it by just letting it go. I can't change them, but I do have control over how I react.
In fact, the week I came home from giving birth I had baby blues for real and was also healing from the c section.  My dad picked this time to say that I was ungrateful for everything they've ever done for me and that He wishes I was more like my sister.  I literally ran upstairs in my own home to cry.  Ugh I should have kicked him out.

sorry for making that about me.  Your mom was totally in the wrong and happy belated birthday!

[isolemnlyswear]

Good night between Dh and I. We really listened to eachother uninterrupted and got a lot out in the open. This communication stuff really works. Thanks for the support ladies.

[bigrock74]

isolemnlyswear, glad to hear you were able to talk things through. I would totally be pissed at the situation though. He does realize that babies are germ magnets, right?

To answer the other question: we have the me inside, him outside deal too, but just like soon2bmrsn said, he gets a break in the winter. This is our biggest fight. There is MUCH more to do inside than outside. It was my idea and I wish I had never come up with it but he has started helping out more inside the house and he does his fair share with Spencer.
We argued A LOT when he was laid off for those 5 months. I mean, we were together day and night for FIVE MONTHS, FIVE!! Since he has been back at work things have been better but we still argue here and there. I think it's normal.

[anotherdreamer]

Apr 6, 2015 18:57:37 GMT -5 kelpsu said:

Apr 6, 2015 18:13:18 GMT -5 anotherdreamer said:

Thanks ladies. I feel like it's petty because I really should be used to this by now, it's nothing new... it's just really shitty.

I can relate to you. My family acts like that and then if I express how hurt I am they act like I'm needy and say that I'm too sensitive.  I guess I've heard that so much growing up that I believe it and then feel guilty that I got offended. It's effed up. But on the other hand it's like I've learned to deal with it by just letting it go. I can't change them, but I do have control over how I react.
In fact, the week I came home from giving birth I had baby blues for real and was also healing from the c section.  My dad picked this time to say that I was ungrateful for everything they've ever done for me and that He wishes I was more like my sister.  I literally ran upstairs in my own home to cry.  Ugh I should have kicked him out.

sorry for making that about me.  Your mom was totally in the wrong and happy belated birthday!

No worries about making it about you! I would have been really upset, that's really shitty.

I always get told I'm being too sensitive too, so I can definitely relate to that! I feel like I have no right to complain, or that I should just put my big girl panties on and deal with it.

My childhood was really F'ed up and my family is really dysfunctional. I feel like I should be used to it, and just accept it, but... every year they get me! I'm estranged from some of the already, I try to make things work with the remaining ones but... ugh.

My mom is coming back today and telling everyone that she DID invite us (she didn't). My sister knows she didn't, because her story changed throughout the day. By now she probably believes her own lie. But once again, I'm the bad guy for feeling hurt.

What the F ever.

[kelpsu]

Apr 7, 2015 9:43:24 GMT -5 anotherdreamer said:

Apr 6, 2015 18:57:37 GMT -5 kelpsu said:

I can relate to you. My family acts like that and then if I express how hurt I am they act like I'm needy and say that I'm too sensitive.  I guess I've heard that so much growing up that I believe it and then feel guilty that I got offended. It's effed up. But on the other hand it's like I've learned to deal with it by just letting it go. I can't change them, but I do have control over how I react.
In fact, the week I came home from giving birth I had baby blues for real and was also healing from the c section.  My dad picked this time to say that I was ungrateful for everything they've ever done for me and that He wishes I was more like my sister.  I literally ran upstairs in my own home to cry.  Ugh I should have kicked him out.

sorry for making that about me.  Your mom was totally in the wrong and happy belated birthday!

No worries about making it about you! I would have been really upset, that's really shitty.

I always get told I'm being too sensitive too, so I can definitely relate to that! I feel like I have no right to complain, or that I should just put my big girl panties on and deal with it.

My childhood was really F'ed up and my family is really dysfunctional. I feel like I should be used to it, and just accept it, but... every year they get me! I'm estranged from some of the already, I try to make things work with the remaining ones but... ugh.

My mom is coming back today and telling everyone that she DID invite us (she didn't). My sister knows she didn't, because her story changed throughout the day. By now she probably believes her own lie. But once again, I'm the bad guy for feeling hurt.

What the F ever.

HUGS. Family sucks sometimes.

[Leapinglizards]

anotherdreamer

It sucks she is missing out on seeing your DD's and DS grow up. When they want nothing to do with her maybe she will understand