Do I need another excuse?

[Knitter]

I have a step sister that I'm not particularly close with.  She didn't attend my wedding or baby shower and while she did attend my wedding, she didn't buy a gift or a card (but helped herself to a lot of the "free" wine that I paid for).  She's in her mid twenties so I'm trying to give her a bit of a break but really I knew better then that at her age.

Anyways, she's now pg and is throwing herself a gender reveal party at an auditorium.  She's asking people to pitch in and bring food, but also to purchase 50/50 draw tickets and play paid games for prizes.  I feel like she's trying to make money here and it's very icky to me.  Also I hate gender/sex reveal parties, I just think they are dumb and pointless.

So I'm not going, that's settled.  I had planned on just selecting "not attending" on her facebook event and letting that be that.  I figured if anyone asks I would say simply "I'm sorry I can't make it".  The end?  My husband says "you're her sister you have to have a better reason then that not to go".  My real reason is "We aren't close and you don't show up for my life events so I don't care to show up for yours" but obviously I can't really say that either.

So, do I need to say something other than "I'm sorry I can't make it"?

[Bluedaisy]

No, not for a sex reveal. If it was her wedding sure, but this sounds completely ridiculous!

[Deleted]

Nope. You never "owe" an explanation for not attending an event past "Sorry I can't make it. I have other plans."

[kissandglow]

It's a Facebook invite to a personally-held gift grab. No explanation needed.

[helenahhandbasket]

No.

"I am sorry I can not make it" is more than enough, although I don't like the idea of score keeping or playing tit for tat. If she had attended your showers and brought you a wedding card/ gift would you be going to her party? if the answer is still no, then you are fine. (even though I hate "gender" reveals).

And yes, the wine at your wedding was free for your guests to enjoy. Not "free".

[Knitter]

Apr 8, 2015 10:36:36 GMT -5 helenahhandbasket said:

No.

"I am sorry I can not make it" is more than enough, although I don't like the idea of score keeping or playing tit for tat. If she had attended your showers and brought you a wedding card/ gift would you be going to her party? if the answer is still no, then you are fine. (even though I hate "gender" reveals).

And yes, the wine at your wedding was free for your guests to enjoy. Not "free".

If she had attended my events I would certainly feel more obligated to go to hers, although I just hate gender/sex reveal parties in general so I can't say for sure whether or not I would still go.  It's not so much that I'm keeping score, more that she has a history of not showing up for me (like ever) and I'd just rather spend my energy and money elsewhere.  


My family is full of toxic people who don't show up for me but expect me to show up for them, I've just made a decision not to waste my energy on those who clearly don't care about me.

[helenahhandbasket]

OP I totally get you about having toxic family members and I hate the excuse "but they are family."

What if your family is full of assholes?

I for sure wouldn't go based on your clarification.

[Knitter]

Apr 8, 2015 11:07:06 GMT -5 helenahhandbasket said:

OP I totally get you about having toxic family members and I hate the excuse "but they are family."

What if your family is full of assholes?

I for sure wouldn't go based on your clarification.

Unfortunately most people in my family ARE assholes :S

[ECB]

No. You don't need another excuse. And really, all you need to do is click "no". You don't have to say anything past that.

[ruemorgan]

No, you dont need to give het more of a reason. I think saying you already have plans is fine