Loss check-in 4/14
Apr 15, 2015 15:57:20 GMT -5
Post by muscari on Apr 15, 2015 15:57:20 GMT -5
How are you doing physically? Physically I'm doing okay, I think? It's nice to finally feel like my hormones are balancing out again and going back to their regular cycles. After 5 weeks of bleeding (3wks of cramping and on and off bleeding&spotting after the cytotec-induced mc which ended up being incomplete, then 2wks after the d/c) it felt like such a relief when it stopped. My first post-d/c period came earlier then expected: 3w1d after the d/c and was kind of weird and really weird. It started with pretty bad cramping which freaked me out a little as I wasn't sure what was up..I bled lightly for one day, then spotted for a few more.. which in all honestly had me a little worried. PMS also was a b*tch! But, I just had my post-d/c check up at the hospital yesterday and got the a-okay. 
She also took a look at my ovaries during the echo and confirmed ovulation (which happened mid-to-late last week I think, going by my symptoms). I'd been having some stomach issues (leftover hormones I think) and after the d/c suffered from incredible constipation but the worst seems to be over now. I am sleeping better again and thus feel a bit less exhausted, which helps with being able to handle fuller days better again.
How are you doing emotionally? I'm having a really rough time emotionally these days. My emotions have gone up and down those first weeks but I thought I was doing alright, managed to get some work done again, be more social, feel less upset and sad and more normal again.. Then last weekend I suddenly felt completely overwhelmed by sadness. If I wasn't feeling down and sad, I was feeling incredibly agitated and easily upset (mostly at my husband, the poor man). Had a good cry on Sundayevening which helped a little, for a little while. I just couldn't shake it off. Maybe I was anxious for my post-d/c check up subconsciously? When we returned home from the hospital yesterday the hubs and I sat outside in the garden enjoying lovely Spring weather for a bit and I told him that I felt just so confused: the check up went well and the doc was happy, we got the okay to start ttc again, so that was all good stuff right? So why was I feeling so incredibly down and sad and like all I wanted to do was cry? I know it is okay to feel this way, but I have to admit sometimes I just wish I could fast forward time a bit. It'll get better again, I know it.. but for now it's a bit of a struggle. Especially during daytime, evenings somehow are a bit easier to handle.
If you have one, how is your partner/spouse doing? I think he's doing okay, has some ups and downs as well but generally is doing alright. Those first days after we found out we were miscarrying he stayed strong to support me in everything and he processed some of it on his own as he didn't want to bother me I guess. We did cry and talk together those first days, but it wasn't until a couple weeks after the MC that I fully realized how it had shaken him to the core and that he was dealing with it silently. It about broke my heart when one day we walked at the mall and he said "I'm glad it's no longer making my heart hurt so bad when I see those onesies on display in that store". I hadn't realized .. too consumed by my own crap I think.. I've since made an effort to more often ask him about how he's doing and to make our feelings discussable (if that makes sense).
What are you doing to take care of yourself? I've given myself permission to do nothing for some days.. as I'm just feeling too down and sad and somehow don't manage to get things done. I have to get back to working on my master research project soon, or that thesis will never get written.. but my mind is just not cooperating! I'm keeping on top of chores, groceries and cooking etc, but apart from that just have been reading some, sitting outside in the garden enjoying those early Spring days, stuff like that. I had my first violinlesson in 15 years today! I do make sure I get enough rest, and have a regular sleeping pattern. I probably should stop munching.. I normally am not that big a fan of chocolate but these past couple weeks I've been chomping down a lot.. I would love to loose 2-3 kilos and the chocolate ain't helping!
Ugh I got a bit lenghty ... sorry bout that:( Tis just that I've not been able to share any of this really and now that I have found a place to do so I have this waterfall of thoughts and feelings lol. Trying to stay concise but well that never really been my strong point! *giggles*
She also took a look at my ovaries during the echo and confirmed ovulation (which happened mid-to-late last week I think, going by my symptoms). I'd been having some stomach issues (leftover hormones I think) and after the d/c suffered from incredible constipation but the worst seems to be over now. I am sleeping better again and thus feel a bit less exhausted, which helps with being able to handle fuller days better again.How are you doing emotionally? I'm having a really rough time emotionally these days. My emotions have gone up and down those first weeks but I thought I was doing alright, managed to get some work done again, be more social, feel less upset and sad and more normal again.. Then last weekend I suddenly felt completely overwhelmed by sadness. If I wasn't feeling down and sad, I was feeling incredibly agitated and easily upset (mostly at my husband, the poor man). Had a good cry on Sundayevening which helped a little, for a little while. I just couldn't shake it off. Maybe I was anxious for my post-d/c check up subconsciously? When we returned home from the hospital yesterday the hubs and I sat outside in the garden enjoying lovely Spring weather for a bit and I told him that I felt just so confused: the check up went well and the doc was happy, we got the okay to start ttc again, so that was all good stuff right? So why was I feeling so incredibly down and sad and like all I wanted to do was cry? I know it is okay to feel this way, but I have to admit sometimes I just wish I could fast forward time a bit. It'll get better again, I know it.. but for now it's a bit of a struggle. Especially during daytime, evenings somehow are a bit easier to handle.
If you have one, how is your partner/spouse doing? I think he's doing okay, has some ups and downs as well but generally is doing alright. Those first days after we found out we were miscarrying he stayed strong to support me in everything and he processed some of it on his own as he didn't want to bother me I guess. We did cry and talk together those first days, but it wasn't until a couple weeks after the MC that I fully realized how it had shaken him to the core and that he was dealing with it silently. It about broke my heart when one day we walked at the mall and he said "I'm glad it's no longer making my heart hurt so bad when I see those onesies on display in that store". I hadn't realized .. too consumed by my own crap I think.. I've since made an effort to more often ask him about how he's doing and to make our feelings discussable (if that makes sense).
What are you doing to take care of yourself? I've given myself permission to do nothing for some days.. as I'm just feeling too down and sad and somehow don't manage to get things done. I have to get back to working on my master research project soon, or that thesis will never get written.. but my mind is just not cooperating! I'm keeping on top of chores, groceries and cooking etc, but apart from that just have been reading some, sitting outside in the garden enjoying those early Spring days, stuff like that. I had my first violinlesson in 15 years today! I do make sure I get enough rest, and have a regular sleeping pattern. I probably should stop munching.. I normally am not that big a fan of chocolate but these past couple weeks I've been chomping down a lot.. I would love to loose 2-3 kilos and the chocolate ain't helping!
Ugh I got a bit lenghty ... sorry bout that:( Tis just that I've not been able to share any of this really and now that I have found a place to do so I have this waterfall of thoughts and feelings lol. Trying to stay concise but well that never really been my strong point! *giggles*
DH: 51
