confusing emotions *trigger warning*

[muscari]

Having all those opposite emotions run through me so often is quite confusing and exhausting.. My cousin (few years younger then I am, we've been sharing our ttc experiences over the past year and are somewhat close) just told me she's pregnant (after a chemical pregnancy/early loss at 5w a few months ago). I'm really excited and delighted for her, this is great news! And I told her so and meant it from the bottom of my heart. But at the same time I feel at a bit of a loss. I'm not really sad, more  just feeling empty and it's like it hasn't sunken in yet that she's pregnant again - and what that really means. Even though right now the thought of falling pregnant again makes me both excited as scared and everything in between, I am really hoping that by the time she starts showing or at least by the time she has her baby, I too will be pregnant again.. Sometimes I just wish I could fast forward time a bit and skip through those next couple of months. Things should be a bit less confusing by then, right?!

[vivela]

Apr 16, 2015 15:02:22 GMT -5 muscari said:

Sometimes I just wish I could fast forward time a bit and skip through those next couple of months. Things should be a bit less confusing by then, right?!

I've been there! The gamut of emotions after a loss is truly dizzying at times. 

[soultrane]

I think this is all totally normal. My cousin announced her pregnancy the day before I found out this one probably wasn't viable, so I went from being super excited for her (and excited that we would be pregnant at the same time) to wondering how I'll react when I see her in a few weeks.

The best any of us can do is to take things day by day, and let ourselves feel how we need to feel. Take it slowly and you'll learn what your triggers are and how much pregnancy talk you'll be able to handle. She should understand too since she's been in a similar position, so hopefully she is sensitive to your feelings in the coming months.

[hollyberry]

There are so many emotions at play I completely get it. I too have a hard time with being benched and wanting to try again right away, but we were told to wait 3 months, so here we wait. But I think the time will help heal both physically and emotionally before we start again. It is so hard when a close family member or friend is KU, its crazy how you canbe truly happy for them but its like you feel your loss all over again. *hugs*

Ps.just so you know we usually put a warning in the title about other peoples pregnancies, the post could possibly be a trigger for some woman who are having a hard day (this is at least the protocol on CAL, and I am assuming its the same way on this board too) thanks

[muscari]

Apr 17, 2015 23:33:31 GMT -5 hollyberry said:

Ps.just so you know we usually put a warning in the title about other peoples pregnancies, the post could possibly be a trigger for some woman who are having a hard day (this is at least the protocol on CAL, and I am assuming its the same way on this board too) thanks

Ahh, sorry about that. I added a trigger warning to the topic. I have tried to read all protocols and the like from the seperate boards but I guess not all sank in or was clear to me, oops.

[hollyberry]

No worries, I was ok with it today, but I know that on hard days it sometimes can be rough. And as a newer member here to I understand how its hard to remember some of the things. Thanks for adding the warning.

[muscari]

I was exhausted last night when I checked this post, so just got the warning up and left the rest to read/respond to this morning after some sleep

Rationally I know it's absolutely normal (and okay) to feel this way and all over the place with my emotions but at the same time it keeps confusing me.. haha. It's good to read and know I'm not the only one who feels this way though and who has gone through this. (hugs)

[starfishy]

I was (still am?) in a similar situation. My cousin, who has had multiple losses announced right after my loss that she was pregnant with Twins. I was thrilled for her because I know she knows about loss, but she was pregnant when I wasn't and was due when I was. I was also insanely jealous, too. I'm coming to terms with it now. The ladies on this board told me all the emotions were okay.
Good luck to you- it's a tough situation.