A day (two days) late and a dollar short, but I saw this article written by a woman raised by a working mom and thought it had some interesting points. If nothing else, I thought it was reassuring to see the benefits to being a working mom, since I know a lot of working moms feel guilty or worried that working takes too much away from their children. My mom stayed at home, so it is nice to see this perspective!
This was an interesting read. I was raised by a single, working mom, which was sort of unusual for where we lived when I grew up. I never had any issues with it, other than occasional sadness that my mom wasn't the classroom mom or something like that, which I'm sure I got over when moms became embarrassing. I do remember moms who were overly involved in their kids' school lives, and thinking how weird that was (the mom who made her daughter practice cheerleading 3 hours a day so she could make the team, the mom who took out a full page ad in the yearbook and wrote a rhyming poem about their special relationship, relegating the girl's dad to 1 photo and her siblings to 1 photo--the other dozen or so were just the girl and her mom).
Working moms is such a prickly issue, but I don't know of anyone who really thinks that one was is better or worse--they're just different--and as long as everyone involved is happy with the decision, it doesn't really matter to anyone else.
Thanks for sharing! It was a nice reminder of stuff I already sort-of know but can't always articulate. Today was kind of a guilt day for me. As soon as LO realized I had left her daycare room she ran to the door and started screaming. I could hear her as I walked down the hall. She's been so good about me leaving her lately that it was kind of shocking. Felt guilty all the way to work.
Then when I came in to pick her up, she took one look at me and ran to the teacher and grabbed her leg. Which she never does, she usually runs right to me. I was upset for a second until it turned out she was trying to tell the teacher (who was standing right near the changing table) that she had poop. So I changed her and all was back to normal. But it was a weird working-mom-emotion day.
mamamd, we had a terrible drop off yesterday too...maybe it was something in the air?!
I completely agree that we (working or SAH) moms put the guilt on ourselves. I've tried to be better about not letting myself spiral, and thankfully I have a lot of great working momma mentors. I think one of the most powerful things was hearing from my mom (a SAHM) that while she doesn't regret staying home, she definitely lost a lot career-wise. She said she probably would have gotten her PhD with plans to be a VP at a college, but she chose to follow my dad for a job, then stay home to raise us. While it made me a little sad for her (I should say, she wasn't sad about the way her career has turned out), it definitely made me more confident in my decision to press on in my career.
And then days like today where my almost two year old makes me want scream prove to me why I cannot (and should not) stay at home all the time.
I know I'm not a working mom but, I have to say some days I wish I was a working mom. I love my kids but some times you just need a break. I feel like I would appreciate more at home if I was able to be away for part of the day and know my kids are being taken care of and it's not by me for every little thing. It's hard to do either but for me I think I would appreciate my time with my kids more if it was limited by work. I don't think that sounds right but I'm not sure how to word it. Like instead of just letting them play outside with friends I would spend more time actually with them and doing fun things, but to try and do that every day all day is exhausting but if I worked it would be easier to plan and do special outings and it would mean more.
Post by mtnmomma13 on Apr 21, 2015 11:55:55 GMT -5
3timemom, I completely understand where you are coming from. I am exhausted after long weekends (sometimes after regular weekends) and often look forward to coming to work. I think that is why I hate there are so many mommy wars over this crap...no one has it easy. Motherhood is freaking hard regardless of what your situation looks like.
Post by RiseAndWine on Apr 22, 2015 13:13:05 GMT -5
allydncr thanks for posting this! I am just seeing it today, but I really needed it. I have faced a TON of guilt over the past couple of weeks for being a FT working mom, and I was having trouble remembering the benefits. I just have been feeling selfish for picking this choice instead of the SAH choice. I really needed something as simple as this to help give me a little support for my decision.
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