darwinfish I freaked out today because I was frustrated and that was on top of a bunch of other shit going on in my life that has been stressing me out but I shouldn't have unloaded here. I'm sorry.
On the thing about not being able to share milestones, most people say they need to take a break or something, not "stop telling us your kids' milestones." So maybe they agree the group isn't a good fit? But I wouldn't know how I'd feel if I wanted to share milestones, since my kid sits on her butt all day and dgafs about food. And she's the old lady in the group. But I could see how you'd start to feel guilty about sharing, worrying you're making others feel bad. Same as people saying their kid sttn when so many of us are still up all night, were feeling guilty. I say, share what you like. There's always something someone else's kid is doing better. My kid is owning being rolly, but I think apurp may have her beat. Damnit.
That's true. But then other people chime in and say it for them.
Dude, my kid has an enormous, misshapen head and will most likely need a helmet. She will be the only baby in this group with a helmet. The fact that she might need a helmet stresses me the fuck out all the time BUT, I would never lay that stress or anxiety on this group, who most likely has their own shit to deal with. My kid's helmet is MY issue and I won't project it onto others to make them feel bad for having a discussion about head sizes, development, whatever.
Still catching up…but if it makes you feel any better, we're taking it appointment by appointment with the helmet as well. C will be 8 months old next week and has had a giant flat spot on the back of his head for months. The pedi always comments on it and says to monitor since his ears are still symmetric but the helmet possibility is still very real for us. It used to stress me out big time but there could be worse things. It also doesn't help that he's completely bald which makes it a lot more prominent.
That's true. But then other people chime in and say it for them.
Dude, my kid has an enormous, misshapen head and will most likely need a helmet. She will be the only baby in this group with a helmet. The fact that she might need a helmet stresses me the fuck out all the time BUT, I would never lay that stress or anxiety on this group, who most likely has their own shit to deal with. My kid's helmet is MY issue and I won't project it onto others to make them feel bad for having a discussion about head sizes, development, whatever.
Still catching up…but if it makes you feel any better, we're taking it appointment by appointment with the helmet as well. C will be 8 months old next week and has had a giant flat spot on the back of his head for months. The pedi always comments on it and says to monitor since his ears are still symmetric but the helmet possibility is still very real for us. It used to stress me out big time but there could be worse things. It also doesn't help that he's completely bald which makes it a lot more prominent.
I'm sorry you're going through it too. I don't think I've heard you mention it. You're right though, there are worse things than a helmet
Still catching up…but if it makes you feel any better, we're taking it appointment by appointment with the helmet as well. C will be 8 months old next week and has had a giant flat spot on the back of his head for months. The pedi always comments on it and says to monitor since his ears are still symmetric but the helmet possibility is still very real for us. It used to stress me out big time but there could be worse things. It also doesn't help that he's completely bald which makes it a lot more prominent.
I'm sorry you're going through it too. I don't think I've heard you mention it. You're right though, there are worse things than a helmet
I also haven't talked about it much because it used to stress me out so much. I've come to accept it now though because I know it's nothing I could have prevented (done everything the pedi suggested and tried to keep him off that side as much as possible) and if it happens it will be for such a small part of his life that he will never remember. One of my good friend's baby had to wear a helmet recently and it was honestly adorable. They are huge baseball fans and had actually painted the helmet to look like a baseball. I don't know why but that picture of him smiling in it made me relax and realize it definitely could be worse. But I completely understand your anxiety No one wants anything to be wrong with their babies.
Thank you. I was completely unaware. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm trying to explain myself and you twist everything around. YOU DRIVE ME INSANE.
I know you guys butt heads, but that's kinda mean.
Correct me if I'm wrong darwinfish but the way I interpreted her statement was completely different it. It was my understanding that she was saying that it's perfectly normal and your right to feel stressed out or anxious about the situation, even if other people don't understand why you feel that way.
Edit to clarify: it was my understanding she was supporting you and saying it's ok to have those feelings.
I know you guys butt heads, but that's kinda mean.
Correct me if I'm wrong darwinfish but the way I interpreted her statement was completely different it. It was my understanding that she was saying that it's perfectly normal and your right to feel stressed out or anxious about the situation, even if other people don't understand why you feel that way.
Edit to clarify: it was my understanding she was supporting you and saying it's ok to have those feelings.
My deal was that it seems like she pokes me and pokes me and pokes me then I snap. I'm used to butting heads with her and getting a debate on everything I post so I lost it. I know I did but I was frustrated because even when I'm trying to say I understand, or I can RELATE to others and their anxiety, it's still not enough.
This goes way back with her and I and not just on this board. I feel like I can never do or say anything right in her eyes and everything she feels is the opposite of me. Perhaps I grazed over her post and didn't truly understand it, that could have been the case. darwinfish (tagging her so she doesn't think I'm over here talking shit)
I'll drop it though. I don't want to bring this board down. That was never my intention.
I know you guys butt heads, but that's kinda mean.
Correct me if I'm wrong darwinfish but the way I interpreted her statement was completely different it. It was my understanding that she was saying that it's perfectly normal and your right to feel stressed out or anxious about the situation, even if other people don't understand why you feel that way.
Edit to clarify: it was my understanding she was supporting you and saying it's ok to have those feelings.
Same. I was like "WHAT NO."
In other news, not that this is comforting to the helmet ladies, but someone said recently "look at that baby's head, it's FLAT, it's so sad, how could they do that?" And I know, without a doubt, that the people in this group dealing with it were WAY more diligent than I was. You guys are great moms who did everything to prevent this. I don't know if that's comforting, but I know it's true, and it's a shame that people don't know that sometimes it just happens and it's no one's fault. I think that's what would bother me the most. People judge others that look differently. It's not fair. Especially to kids.
Correct me if I'm wrong darwinfish but the way I interpreted her statement was completely different it. It was my understanding that she was saying that it's perfectly normal and your right to feel stressed out or anxious about the situation, even if other people don't understand why you feel that way.
Edit to clarify: it was my understanding she was supporting you and saying it's ok to have those feelings.
Same. I was like "WHAT NO."
In other news, not that this is comforting to the helmet ladies, but someone said recently "look at that baby's head, it's FLAT, it's so sad, how could they do that?" And I know, without a doubt, that the people in this group dealing with it were WAY more diligent than I was. You guys are great moms who did everything to prevent this. I don't know if that's comforting, but I know it's true, and it's a shame that people don't know that sometimes it just happens and it's no one's fault. I think that's what would bother me the most. People judge others that look differently. It's not fair. Especially to kids.
I agree. What makes me the most upset, and it's silly, is the looks we MIGHT get out in public if DD has a helmet on. People don't realize it's just fixing a flat spot or misshapen head...I'm afraid of getting pity looks. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it. I don't want anyone looking at my daughter and feeling sorry for her, like she has something wrong with her.
I'm popping in to say I think there's a difference between filtering what people say and someone just being sensitive to how someone felt about a particular topic. I don't thinkl anyone has ever said that people couldn't talk about a particular topic. I think people being worried or people having fears about certain things gets misconstrued as "people shouldn't say this because I feel bad about it" since when did it become so that notches can't stick up for one another or have each other's back? All I'm saying is it isn't what it's being made out to be, maybe I'm just reading it differently but we all know it's hard to decipher things online because computer. Also if your kid is crawling shout it from the roof tops! We've been together since we were peeing on sticks, if your kid is pulling up we all want to know! Come on guise don't feel like you can't say anything because no body in this group has actually said that. Hugs, peace pipe and all that happy shit
Coming in ridiculously late because that's how I roll.
Seriously, though. I will take full responsibility for opening the can of worms, but I've never thought that anyone SHOULDN'T share the milestones. I thought *I* should back off, because clearly I was letting it get to me when I knew better. It's like someone with social anxiety knowing they will be fine but still having a panic attack in a group situation--it's easy to know you will be fine but harder for you to remain calm and not panic. I LOVE seeing the babies doing these things. Doesn't mean I can't worry about my kid, and it also doesn't mean my kid won't be doing it soon enough. I know it became something bigger after I said it, and most of y'all aren't specifically referring to me, but it's my fault that it became something at all in the first place.
famousea and I are totes on the same page with this.
But also seriously, this works both ways, people. If you should be allowed to AW your kids, someone else should be allowed to say that they secretly worry about their own. Otherwise, aren't you being a little hypocritical? Why is it okay for one group to share freely and another one to not be able to share equally as free?
In other news, not that this is comforting to the helmet ladies, but someone said recently "look at that baby's head, it's FLAT, it's so sad, how could they do that?" And I know, without a doubt, that the people in this group dealing with it were WAY more diligent than I was. You guys are great moms who did everything to prevent this. I don't know if that's comforting, but I know it's true, and it's a shame that people don't know that sometimes it just happens and it's no one's fault. I think that's what would bother me the most. People judge others that look differently. It's not fair. Especially to kids.
I agree. What makes me the most upset, and it's silly, is the looks we MIGHT get out in public if DD has a helmet on. People don't realize it's just fixing a flat spot or misshapen head...I'm afraid of getting pity looks. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it. I don't want anyone looking at my daughter and feeling sorry for her, like she has something wrong with her.
I would be that nasty mom that would tell them to mind their own fucking business. I get it. After yesterday's visit with the pedi, we are also right there with you. But our kids will kill them with their good looks, beautiful smiles, and otherworldly charm.
I'm popping in to say I think there's a difference between filtering what people say and someone just being sensitive to how someone felt about a particular topic. I don't thinkl anyone has ever said that people couldn't talk about a particular topic. I think people being worried or people having fears about certain things gets misconstrued as "people shouldn't say this because I feel bad about it" since when did it become so that notches can't stick up for one another or have each other's back? All I'm saying is it isn't what it's being made out to be, maybe I'm just reading it differently but we all know it's hard to decipher things online because computer. Also if your kid is crawling shout it from the roof tops! We've been together since we were peeing on sticks, if your kid is pulling up we all want to know! Come on guise don't feel like you can't say anything because no body in this group has actually said that. Hugs, peace pipe and all that happy shit
Coming in ridiculously late because that's how I roll.
Seriously, though. I will take full responsibility for opening the can of worms, but I've never thought that anyone SHOULDN'T share the milestones. I thought *I* should back off, because clearly I was letting it get to me when I knew better. It's like someone with social anxiety knowing they will be fine but still having a panic attack in a group situation--it's easy to know you will be fine but harder for you to remain calm and not panic. I LOVE seeing the babies doing these things. Doesn't mean I can't worry about my kid, and it also doesn't mean my kid won't be doing it soon enough. I know it became something bigger after I said it, and most of y'all aren't specifically referring to me, but it's my fault that it became something at all in the first place.
famousea and I are totes on the same page with this.
But also seriously, this works both ways, people. If you should be allowed to AW your kids, someone else should be allowed to say that they secretly worry about their own. Otherwise, aren't you being a little hypocritical? Why is it okay for one group to share freely and another one to not be able to share equally as free?
No filters.
Yes! People definitely should be able to express both the good and the bad of parenting. Either AW'ing pictures or venting about your newest worry. I totally get that but nothing that has happened over the past few days is your fault at all. People stick up for other people, especially when they think that person's feelings got hurt and sometimes that spirals out of control. It's all so fucking confusing at this point but you did nothing wrong. I'm the one that doesn't usually share negative stuff or my anxieties so I'm like "SUNSHINE AND FUCKING RAINBOW ALL AROUND!"
I agree. What makes me the most upset, and it's silly, is the looks we MIGHT get out in public if DD has a helmet on. People don't realize it's just fixing a flat spot or misshapen head...I'm afraid of getting pity looks. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it. I don't want anyone looking at my daughter and feeling sorry for her, like she has something wrong with her.
I would be that nasty mom that would tell them to mind their own fucking business. I get it. After yesterday's visit with the pedi, we are also right there with you. But our kids will kill them with their good looks, beautiful smiles, and otherworldly charm.
I would be that nasty mom that would tell them to mind their own fucking business. I get it. After yesterday's visit with the pedi, we are also right there with you. But our kids will kill them with their good looks, beautiful smiles, and otherworldly charm.
Uh oh. Possible helmet?
We'll see...maybe I have my blinders on, but I don't think it's *as bad* as the pedi does. The pedi thinks it is pretty serious, but we are going to wait until his 9mo appointment and re-evaluate then.
We'll see...maybe I have my blinders on, but I don't think it's *as bad* as the pedi does. The pedi thinks it is pretty serious, but we are going to wait until his 9mo appointment and re-evaluate then.
Poopy.
Well if you are able to wait until 9 months, then it must not be that bad because there's an age cut off for the severe heads.
In other news, not that this is comforting to the helmet ladies, but someone said recently "look at that baby's head, it's FLAT, it's so sad, how could they do that?" And I know, without a doubt, that the people in this group dealing with it were WAY more diligent than I was. You guys are great moms who did everything to prevent this. I don't know if that's comforting, but I know it's true, and it's a shame that people don't know that sometimes it just happens and it's no one's fault. I think that's what would bother me the most. People judge others that look differently. It's not fair. Especially to kids.
I agree. What makes me the most upset, and it's silly, is the looks we MIGHT get out in public if DD has a helmet on. People don't realize it's just fixing a flat spot or misshapen head...I'm afraid of getting pity looks. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it. I don't want anyone looking at my daughter and feeling sorry for her, like she has something wrong with her.
Yup. That's why the first few visits and any time my baby nurse aunt-in-law would come over, I'd be like "Look at her head, she won't do tummy time, her head is so big, it has to be flat." I was so scared, because people are fucking ignorant when it comes to this. I was. I had no idea why they wore helmets. They put a helmet on the baby on Shameless because he had Down's. That's what people THINK. And people pity parents with Down's. It's really sad. Sidenote: I always say "you know, people fear down's, and no one wants that for their kid, but kids with down's look so happy...maybe they know something we don't."
All of that said, this is a really short time, right? I mean, they only wear the helmet for a few months, right? I feel like I read somewhere they said 18 months was the cut-off or something. I know everyone on this board actually leaves their house, but if my kid had to wear a helmet until she was 18 months, like, no one would know. We don't go a ton of places. It's better for her to get it corrected now than in school when kids are fucking mean.
I agree. What makes me the most upset, and it's silly, is the looks we MIGHT get out in public if DD has a helmet on. People don't realize it's just fixing a flat spot or misshapen head...I'm afraid of getting pity looks. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it. I don't want anyone looking at my daughter and feeling sorry for her, like she has something wrong with her.
Yup. That's why the first few visits and any time my baby nurse aunt-in-law would come over, I'd be like "Look at her head, she won't do tummy time, her head is so big, it has to be flat." I was so scared, because people are fucking ignorant when it comes to this. I was. I had no idea why they wore helmets. They put a helmet on the baby on Shameless because he had Down's. That's what people THINK. And people pity parents with Down's. It's really sad. Sidenote: I always say "you know, people fear down's, and no one wants that for their kid, but kids with down's look so happy...maybe they know something we don't."
All of that said, this is a really short time, right? I mean, they only wear the helmet for a few months, right? I feel like I read somewhere they said 18 months was the cut-off or something. I know everyone on this board actually leaves their house, but if my kid had to wear a helmet until she was 18 months, like, no one would know. We don't go a ton of places. It's better for her to get it corrected now than in school when kids are fucking mean.
The best time to put a helmet on is before they turn 1. And yes, she would only have to wear it for like 2 months.
I like your quote about the Down's kids always being happy. That made me smile because it's so true.
When we had our older son evaluated, the specialist said they typically do the "helmet" around 4-6 months. He also told us the current thinking is to try to not intervene and allow the head to correct itself over time. There are severe cases that do need intervention. I thought his flat spot was terrible but was told it was mild. But this was all 2 yrs ago so current thinking may have changed
Our friends' baby had one later than 4-6 months...I want to say around 9 months. I don't know how severe it was.
When we had our older son evaluated, the specialist said they typically do the "helmet" around 4-6 months. He also told us the current thinking is to try to not intervene and allow the head to correct itself over time. There are severe cases that do need intervention. I thought his flat spot was terrible but was told it was mild. But this was all 2 yrs ago so current thinking may have changed
Our friends' baby had one later than 4-6 months...I want to say around 9 months. I don't know how severe it was.
Our pedi said he same - that they want to catch the big growth spurts during that time frame, but without intervening too early because the costs to change the helmet after each growth spurt can be high. she also reviewed the study that is driving the current thinking. We are seeing 2 specialists at 2 different universities, and after the imaging we will see what happens. It's difficult because outside of a controlled clinical trial environment we don't see the results of a child who does not have a helmet, so there's really not a good comparator arm other than EXTREME cases where the head never remodels, but in some instances there can be an underlying issue there also.
My rainbow arrived 10/15/14.
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
My nephew had a helmet from 5 to 7 months. We didn't get any judgemental looks at all when out with him. He rocked that helmet! Honestly, the worst thing about it was that it was stinky and awkward for snuggles. But it was such a short time! Now he's almost 3 and he's perfect.
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.