When will you leave your kids home alone?

[sunbutter]

I used a vacation day on MLK day because DS was off from school.  We did a day of service, it was nice and I am glad I did.

A coworker's kids, 10 and 7, also had off.  She left them alone all day and went to work.  For the record, she could have easily used a PTO day.  I was a bit surprised by this but maybe I'm overprotective.  My mom allowed me to go home after school by myself for a few hours around 11 or 12.  We lived in a very rural area and I was a pretty independent kid.

What age do you think you will leave your kids alone?

[jil]

I think the law here is 11+ can be home alone. My DD is only 2 so it seems pretty far away. I think it will have to do more with how responsible and mature she is, though right now 11 seems young.

I was home alone after school in middle school, but that was only for a few hours at a time.

[mommyatty]

Whenever I think they are responsible enough to handle it. I started staying by myself after school when 3rd grade started. By 4th grade, I stayed all day alone. We lived on a large suburb. I don't know that I would do it that early (probably hell no, tbh), but I was born with the brain of a 35 year old. My parents didn't leave my older brother alone til he was in junior high. And he still almost managed to catch the house on fire trying to make cocoa.

I'm a great believer in not having a one size fits all schedule of things like this.

[allthedrinks]

When she turns 25.

Seriously I was thinking 12?

[Pevensie]

Here the law is 8. I'm pretty free range but I don't see myself leaving a 7 year old for a whole day.

I do remember my parents leaving me home at a pretty young age when they would take my brother to sports tournaments because I would beg them to just let me stay home and read. I think they always made sure a neighbor was around and knew I was there. I never came to any harm

Maybe the two kids get along really well and she has built them up to the task and they had something fun planned for the day and were excited about the challenge.

[l504]

When they get married or have a job... But seriously, 8th/9th grade... Whatever that age is

[Deleted]

My county doesn't regulated (though some do). But they do offer guidelines which I agree with...

Age Guidelines ...
• 7 years and under: Should not be left alone for any period of time.
• 8 to 10 years: Should not be left alone for more than 1½ hours and only during daylight and early evening hours.
• 11 to 12 years: May be left alone for up to 3 hours but not late at night.
• 13 to 15 years: May be left unsupervised, but not overnight.
• 16 to 17 years:May be left unsupervised.

[kcones88]

I'm thinking 12yrs/6th grade for my DD. That's about the age I was when I started carrying a house key and letting myself in after school. DD's bus picks her up and let's her off in our driveway, so I feel better knowing the bus driver will watch to make sure she gets inside OK. Plus, my husband is home from work around 3pm, so she'd only be home by herself on early dismissal days for an hour or two, tops.

[sept07b2b]

The law in my state is 8. That seems pretty young to me, but I can see leaving a kid alone for a 30 min run to Target at that age, not a whole day. I would really worry they would get bored and get into trouble.

At that age, under those circumstances, assuming I needed or wanted to go to work, I would either arrange for the kids to go to a friend's house for the day (and return the favor some day) or look into a day camp.

[texasmomma22]

I think I remember being home alone with my brother at like 11-12 he was a couple years younger. Told not to cook anything or answer the door.

[tas1883]

Oregon's law is 10. At this point I'm guessing DD will be okay staying home alone. Its pretty sad that DD is the one who reminds DH to cook lunch for her when I'm working on weekends and basically can explain to you how to make pancakes, rice, pasta, and chicken nuggets.

[k3am]

What mommyatty said. We were pretty much in the same boat - and agreement that there's no one size fits all answer.

And FWIW, I hate the phrase "free range" in reference to parenting. I just find it weird to feel the need to name a parenting style in general, but especially with a farm term.

[jlaok]

Oklahoma doesn't have a law on this.

I remember staying home alone with my sister when I was 8 and she was 11. We had very strict instructions from my parents and they trusted us to follow them.

Like PP's, it will depend on the maturity of the kids but probably around 10 or 11. Maybe younger for DD if she is home with DS.

[mustardseed2007]

12-14 and then not again until they are 25.

JK. Probably 11 or 12, but it depends on the kid.

Leaving a 10 year old with a 7 year old? I'm pretty sure I hear about stuff like that on the news - "2 kids ages 7 and 10 burned down their parent's home in southville today..."

[ECB]

ALL day? I'm thinking 12ish. DS is a pretty good rule follower, but I can't imagine leaving him alone for a few years yet (he's 6). In 4 years, if I really feel his mature enough to do it- MAYBE. But... I don't know. I'd be pretty nervous about it.

[clldll]

A few hours 11-12 depending on maturity. All day 12-14. Watching a sibling for a few hours 12-13.

[leap08]

I think I'll probably start leaving them alone for a bit (couple of hours after school) when my oldest is 10 or 11. I think this depends a lot on the kids and their maturity so my opinion may change as the girls get older.

[dashofreality]

Jan 21, 2015 16:16:22 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Whenever I think they are responsible enough to handle it. I started staying by myself after school when 3rd grade started. By 4th grade, I stayed all day alone. We lived on a large suburb. I don't know that I would do it that early (probably hell no, tbh), but I was born with the brain of a 35 year old. My parents didn't leave my older brother alone til he was in junior high. And he still almost managed to catch the house on fire trying to make cocoa.

I'm a great believer in not having a one size fits all schedule of things like this.

Exactly this minus the brother. I am sure it will be later than 3rd grade, even if I was comfortable, because I am afraid of CPS. And while this makes me feel old, it is different now. Not that it is more dangerous, but even if I let my kids go roam the neighborhood, there won't be any kids there age allowed to go with them. I was allowed to do stuff at a crazy early age, but I was responsible, there were lots of kids out, and my BF's mom was home which helped.

Marla's guidelines seem pretty reasonable though.

[lissydee]

I have a long time before I have to think about it (oldest just turned 4). But I am not really sure--its really going to depend on the kid, their level of maturity at the time, how responsible they are etc. My parents were letting me stay home alone after school when I reached middle school, but my bother, who was 4 years younger than I, still went to a sitter for that same time. I was only in charge of myself.  They didn't leave me alone all day til I was at least 12 or 13 I dont think. 

[Divefrog]

Jan 21, 2015 16:16:22 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Whenever I think they are responsible enough to handle it. I started staying by myself after school when 3rd grade started. By 4th grade, I stayed all day alone. We lived on a large suburb. I don't know that I would do it that early (probably hell no, tbh), but I was born with the brain of a 35 year old. My parents didn't leave my older brother alone til he was in junior high. And he still almost managed to catch the house on fire trying to make cocoa.

I'm a great believer in not having a one size fits all schedule of things like this.

This was my brother and I exactly. I was staying home alone after school for a few hours at a time by the time I was 9. By 10 I was alone for entire days while my parents worked. In the summer my parents scheduled different classes (art, swimming, basketball, robotics, tennis etc.) and I would bike from class to class 2-3 a day then bike home, or to a friends house. I was essentially completely independent during the day. However, I have always been very mature and responsible for my age. My brother wasn't left ALONE until he was at least 12-13. He was left with me (12) at around 8. That was probably not the best decision by my parents as my brother and I often fought like we were going to kill each other, but I understand it was a necessary financial decision for them. 

[litzo27]

So I remember being left home for a couple of hours when I was 5 and my brother was 11. But this was Russia in the 1980s - walking uphill in the snow to school and all that other "different time and place" stuff.

DS1 is 6.5. He is a good kid but I wouldn't leave him home alone even for a couple of hours (even if the laws allowed). I don't think he is independent enough. So I'll go off maturity but I hope that by 9-10 he can be home for a couple of hours and by 11-12 all day if needed.

[2chatter]

I leave my 10 year old home alone (never all day, never with siblings). She is not allowed to cook or bake or answer the door. Her younger sister might be 12 before it happens - they are very different children (the oldest drew a fire exit strategy on graph paper and posted it on her bulletin board "just in case"). We worked up to longer periods - starting with me taking the younger two to a neighbor's to chat for a minute, then the 20 minutes it takes to pick up the youngest from DC (she emailed DH at work to let him know I had left and when I planned to return and he was like - WTF, overkill but I think she just wanted reassurance and to make sure he knew she was growing up) and building up to a morning on a weekend when we had things to do and she wanted to sleep in then relax.

It's great now - before I had to drag her places when she was sick or tired - now she can happily stay in bed.

[newmomma8]

I agree it depends on maturity. My SD is almost 10 yrs old, and she is responsible for fixing her snacks and lunches. She seems to do a good job, I could see leaving her alone for maybe a half a day, with no stove/oven activity and no answering the door. But all day, I would say around 11/12 is where I would be comfortable.

Just to add,...I feel like I may be stepping on toes, I am trying to be more involved in the WM board, so please excuse this stranger posting.

[jazzra369]

I'll probably go based off the guidelines Marla posted, give or take. Depends on how responsible DS acts. I remember watching my brothers ages 8 and 6 when I was 10. I didn't resent it but we had lots of fights so I'm not sure if I'm really into that for DS if we ever have another.

[litzo27]

Jan 22, 2015 9:01:52 GMT -5 2chatter said:

... then the 20 minutes it takes to pick up the youngest from DC (she emailed DH at work to let him know I had left and when I planned to return and he was like - WTF ... 

I love your kid!

[olenka]

It's definitely going to depend on her maturity, as well as the law (apparently 10 years in my state). My parents first let me stay home alone for an hour or so when I was 9. I was also babysitting other people's kids at that age. I don't remember there being any guidelines ("don't touch the stove or oven") but I think I was smart enough to keep out of trouble.

[wbmom]

DD1 has been home for 1-1.5 hrs alone but then she starts texting me about when I will be home. She is 10 but in 5th grade. This whole thing freaks me out though because in only a few yrs she will "age out" of summer camps and then I don't know what to do. Leaving a 13 yr old home for 10 hrs a day all summer freaks me out.

[texasmomma22]

Jan 21, 2015 17:21:34 GMT -5 k3am said:

What mommyatty said. We were pretty much in the same boat - and agreement that there's no one size fits all answer.

And FWIW, I hate the phrase "free range" in reference to parenting. I just find it weird to feel the need to name a parenting style in general, but especially with a farm term.

When I think "free range" I think the kids are running around outside without clothes.

[texasmomma22]

Jan 22, 2015 10:16:33 GMT -5 wbmom said:

DD1 has been home for 1-1.5 hrs alone but then she starts texting me about when I will be home. She is 10 but in 5th grade. This whole thing freaks me out though because in only a few yrs she will "age out" of summer camps and then I don't know what to do. Leaving a 13 yr old home for 10 hrs a day all summer freaks me out.

My mom did it cause she was a single parent and did not have much money. I rememeber sleeping in and then her calling us about lunch time to make sure we were cleaning something. Just put rules in place.. no friends over and only use the microwave.

[dizzycooks]

If I trust my kid, probably by 10 or 11. Honestly I was babysitting at 11 so I think if the kid knows who to call/where to go they are going to be fine. I'd leave a list of chores and homework and things they're allowed to do. I'd also be planning on several phone checkins. Honestly don't you think the kid slept until atleast 8 and then watched tv or played video games a few hours? They probably weren't out wandering the streets.