An Introduction I am Sad to Make

[txmommy14]

Hey everyone.

I am the dirtiest lurker you'll ever meet. I lurked (and still do) for about 2 years on my previous birth month board (March 2014) and have a 14 month old son. No complications with that pregnancy. When everything happened with TB in December, I came over here, as we started trying for our second. I had a major surgery in April (emergency appendectomy), but ended up finding out I was pregnant on Mother's day (our 6th cycle trying). 

I had some initial spotting, but my blood was drawn and my progesterone was great and HCG was increasing as it should. I started telling some family members and close friends. I had my blood drawn again a week ago, the level was at 600 and still increasing. On Tuesday night, I started spotting some more, and my heart dropped. I went the to OB yesterday, they did a sonogram and saw the fetal pole and yolk sack. Everything looked fine. I was measuring a week behind. They said my dates could just be off, I knew they weren't because I had been doing OPKs, charting, yada yada. I started bleeding bright red with heavier clots last night and this morning. They confirmed the worst wash happening after drawing blood, doing an ultrasound, etc at the ER (the on-call doctor told me to go). I have an appointment with my OB tomorrow (a new OB, what a way to meet!) to discuss what's next, I think. 

I just got home and think I am still in shock. Obviously I will lurk some more, I know you ladies probably have lots of advice about what to expect on threads already created. I can't believe it took me this long to make any sort of introduction, but I figure I really could use being an active part of the community rather than just reading on a daily basis.

A little about me: I live in Texas, am 26, am a teacher, and have been married to my husband for 6 years (last week). I am planning to quit my job next week to be a stay at home mom next school year, but I think I'll wait a few more weeks until this pain has passed. 

Do you guys recommend taking a day or two off of work when this happens and as it's happening? It's so uncomfortable knowing what to say to my school, why I need a sub, etc. I already had to take off several weeks for my surgery last month.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. And I am sorry you are all on this board with me. 

[txmommy14]

Oh, and from lurking, I with others-I am guessing I will hang out here because I think hanging out in GKU would feel too strange or hard right now. I know we want to start trying again as soon as we can (whenever that is?), but the thought of joining the world of trying to conceive again at this moment sounds exhausting.

[teenybenoit]

I'm sorry you have to be here. Welcome and I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs

[hollyberry]

I am so sorry for your loss! It sounds quite a bit like my second loss, I spotted the whole time practicly, and also measured about a week behind, but I was just hoping my timing was off. I never used opk's, well I did but they were always negative. So I can't say for sure. I went in when the spotting got redder and found there was no longer a heartbeat, I did however have a D& C.

So technically I have no advice about work, but even so I would probably take the time off, maybe at least friday, and thenyou can see how it progresses over the weekend. I don't think I would have been up to work emotionally though afterward.

I hope it all hapens quickly for you and that your appointment goes well, keep us updated when you can. * hugs*

[txmommy14]

Thank you so much. I would like to get it over with quickly so would like to have a D&C if that is offered to me, but I'm wondering if it's too early on for that to be needed. I guess I'll see what my options are. I'm still in that "stare at the wall and don't do anything" phase of shock.

[hollyberry]

txmommy14, ya I am not sure if there is a " magic" date for a D&C. For both my losses I got it the day I found out, so I never had to wait and see what happens, or know for too long before I had the procedure. I guess I was a " lucky" one, if that is a thing. If it is what you would prefer then ask. It was pretty easy, and pretty much pain free. I only took one advil between both my losses. If you have any questions feel free to pm me. There is also threads about others ladies experiences with both natural and D&C's, that you may find helpful to read.

[hydrangea1019]

I am so sorry you find yourself here. Take care of yourself.
I would suggest taking some time off of work if you can. In total I ended up taking about 5 days (2 days after we found out and 3 days for my d/c plus a few hours for doctor appointments in between).

Sending you lots of ((hugs)) and love

[swivelchair5]

Sorry for your loss.

I happened to miscarry naturally while I was on vacation and was glad to have more than a week before I had to deal with work people. Physically, I needed a few days to rest as well.

[PiradicalMaid]

I am so sorry for your loss. I am sad for the reason you're here but glad you found us.

Personally, I did need time off of work. I would just suggest doing what you can to make it an option so that you can take care of yourself however you need to.

[txmommy14]

Thank you so much for the replies, everyone!

[vancitygirl]

Firstly I'm so sorry for your loss. I am also a teacher and I can speak to the fact that your school will understand. My school staff told me to take the whole week (I had found out there was no viable embryo on a an ultrasound on a Monday) and I'm so glad I did. I was waiting for my OB appt to find out my options when I miscarried on my own so sometimes that happens too. I hope you're ok and giving yourself some time to breathe on your own. If you ever have questions pm me

[tiresiastheblond]

I'm so sorry you have to be here. Hugs. I do hope you're able to take some time off. My boss has been awful about everything (he was surprised that I wasn't planning on coming in for an afternoon meeting the day I was scheduled for my D&C), so I've been at work for everything (in body, anyway--my mind is a million miles away). It sucks, and I don't recommend it.

[nikolie93]

I am so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here *hugs*

I was fortunate enough to be able to work from home during mine. If I had to actually go in somewhere I definitely would have taken a few days off.

[txmommy14]

Oh wow, so sad that your boss has been like that, wow. My husband ended up telling his boss today, and they were so nice and are actually letting him have this afternoon off to come to my appointment with me.

Any advice on an appointment after a miscarriage? Any questions I should ask? I'm not sure what to expect, but the ER had me schedule a follow up with her today.

[nikolie93]

I am so glad that YH is able to go with you to your follow up! It's hard enough as it is, but it's worse when you have to go alone.

When I went to my follow up my OB did a beta check to see if what the number was. Not everyone does, but my OB tracked me down to zero.

The biggest question I asked my OB was when we could start trying again.

[hollyberry]

txmommy14, how did the follow up appointment go?

[txmommy14]

It went okay. It was really sad. We did another ultrasound and saw the baby, but obviously that there was no heartbeat and my progesterone was down to 1.8 from 21.8 and HCG had halved. It was nice to meet my new doctor, but she was really kind, and I look forward to her taking care of me with a future pregnancy. She gave us the options moving forward and I started Cytotec this morning. It's been 6 hours, and nothing. I'm so discouraged and am hoping I can get this over with today and start the healing process (and go to work on Monday without being in too much physical pain). I have an Ultrasound on Monday after work. It's weird that I've had 4 ultrasounds in the past week for something so sad-thankfully my huge out of pocket maximum for my health insurance has already been met by a surgery I had last month.

[teenybenoit]

Hugs. Please be gentle with yourself.

[nikolie93]

txmommy14 I'm sorry I hope it passes quickly for you. The wait sucks. *hug*

[hollyberry]

Ugg, those ultrasounds are the worst, I am sorry! I hope it all goes faster from now for you! * hugs*

[muscari]

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here, welcome - the reason to be here sucks but the ladies are great! I hope your U/S yesterday went well.