I've started this thread half a dozen times and not been able to finish it because I've fallen asleep midway through. I'm in a sleep mess of my own doing. When J was about 9 months old and teething badly I started falling asleep while sitting up during his marathon MOTN nursing sessions. I started letting him sleep in our bed and nurse on demand out of desperation.
Fast forward six months and he's still waking up MOTN and demanding to come to our bed. He's barely nursing when he does, so it's just an excuse. I love the cuddles and I love that he wants to sleep in my arms, but the quality of my sleep sucks and it's starting to wear on me. Sometimes after he falls back asleep I move him back to his crib, but half of the time he wakes up mid-move and I have to take him back to our bed or he screams his head off (he escalates when he cries, so even gentle CYO is out).
Any ideas on how to encourage him to stay in or at least go back to his crib? I'm hoping to introduce a transitional object but so far he doesn't seem interested. I've tried sleeping in his room on an air mattress but that just frustrated him.
Post by katykatykatykaty on Jun 12, 2015 22:20:00 GMT -5
We started cosleeping when Charlie was about 6 months old. About a month ago my husband had had enough and asked that I move him to his crib. I'd been laying with him while he fell asleep at bedtime and would sneak out after he was asleep, and then every time he'd wake up (at least once before I was ready to come to bed), I'd come back to our bed and lay down with him. I'm basically doing the same thing in his crib... I stand/lay my head on the crib while he falls asleep in the crib every night, and then when he wakes up (every 45 minutes to 2 hours ), I come in and give him the paci and stay there until he goes back to sleep.
That works the first wakeup or two. But around midnight, I usually bring him back to our bed. Charlie still nurses, but he only nurses laying down in our bed, so he won't eat in the nursery. So I'd have to bring him to our bed, feed him, and then take him back to his room... And like you, I'm permanently exhausted, so that's just not happening. He was doing the same thing as J as far as nursing just a tiny bit at night until I started working again a few weeks ago... Now he eats a good amount at least twice at night again.
I thought maybe he'd sleep better in his crib and start sleeping longer stretches, but so far, it's only been worse. I totally feel you on not getting good quality sleep, too... He likes to sleep right on top of me, so I'm always about to fall off the bed and am sleeping in weird positions.
Sorry this was so long, but wanted to let you know you aren't alone! Hope you figure something out that works for y'all.
Post by mrssmith613 on Jun 12, 2015 22:27:47 GMT -5
No advice but do whatever you can now to make the switch.. My 3yo still sleeps with us and I've tried everything to get him out but not happening.. We're moving in about 2weeks and will be trying again maybe by making his new room an exciting place to be..
Post by lakecountrygal on Jun 12, 2015 22:44:53 GMT -5
We were cosleeping when DS was getting up in the MOTN because the sleep deprivation was killing me. I couldn't function at work if I stayed up with him and he would actually wake less when sleeping with us. However, DH put his foot down when DS turned 1 and said absolutely not, no more. I put DS in his crib to start the night and then if he woke up and DH was home (he works overnights every 2 weeks) then I would sit in the nursery with DS, if DH was at work I brought him to bed to cosleep. Suddenly out of the blue one night DS started to STTN and has been in his room in his crib since then. We've only had him wake a few times and it's usually between 4 and 5am and DH is ok with an hour of cosleeping before we get up for the day. I think he enjoys he snuggles as much as I do but won't admit it.
That being said I noticed that keeping his room a similar temp to ours and having the same "noises" helped him transition and be comfortable in his own room. I hope you are able to achieve this and have your LO sleep through the night soon!!
Can your husband help out? The way we cut out night nursing is by my husband going into LOs nursery when she woke up crying. He would first rock her/play lullabies on his phone to calm her down. If that didn't work he would give a bottle. After the bottle, he would put her back in the crib. At first, she would wake up right away, so he picked her up, held her, and tried again. (We don't do cry it out.) It was a lot of work on my husband's part, but I don't feel bad at all. lol. Eventually she learned that I wasn't going in to nurse her and she stopped waking up in the middle of the night.
Good luck!! Whatever method you choose, it will take time.
DD was cosleeping from 6 months to about 8 or 9. I just could not take it anymore, I did not feel comfortable coalescing but was doing it out of desperation because I needed sleep. We ended up doing the Ferber method and with in 3 nights she was sleeping all night and was going to sleep quicker and easier. I know Ferber is not for everyone, but it worked like a charm for us. She can sleep anywhere that has a crib.
Good luck finding what works for you. If you would like to know what we did just let me know.
There are "no cry" solution books out there. I don't know names but I'm sure you could google something. I hope you find a solution, mama! You know I did a get low CIO. But maybe @highpeak can help? I know she just trained and it wasn't as bad as she thought it was going to be. I know they escalate, but you can do methods where you stay with your baby until they fall asleep!
fishbulb, we are all here to help you out Yeah, what @highpeak describe is a little unusual with it only taking one day, BUT, at this age, it probably won't take more than 3-5 days.
Just another that is still co-sleeping and about ready to make the change. We are considering waiting until Levi is 18months and taking off one of the sides on his crib that will allow him to climb in /out. I have a full bed also set up in his room and I, or dh, can sleep there with him and put him in his crib once out. We are not in a hurry but are opening up the conversation to how we want to tackle this! Best wishes
Even if you're not in favor of CIO, I still recommend reading Ferber. It was a super quick read and had a lot of interesting stuff on the science behind infant/toddler sleep. If I remember correctly, there's a bit of talk in there on co-sleeping too.
For us, we stopped nursing to sleep at 3 months and then worked on "drowsy but awake" for another 2 before DD had self soothing skills (this was a ton of work). After that, she was a dream going down at bedtime, but we did have to do 1-2 nights of Ferber for MOTN wake-ups around 8 months when she started adding in 1-3 per night. There were also a few months in there where E would wake up at 4:30ish so I would nurse her back to sleep in our bed to get that extra hour-hour and and a half of morning sleep in. E started pushing this early wake-up out around a year, and now she consistently gets up for the day around 6.
fishbulb, We are in the same boat, minus the nursing. For us the issue is T's room is upstairs and we hardly ever go up there. So our first step is once the gate comes in for the top of the stairs, we are bringing her toys from the living room to put in her bedroom and we'll shut all the other doors upstairs and let her have "free range" of her room and game room. Just to get her used to it. We plan to start putting her in her crib during this too, but DH will probably sleep in the extra room across the hall from her until we figure out how this will play out.
Her worst thing is she will start whining in the MOTN for a pappy (pacifier) but she won't fully wake up if I can get up and get her a pappy in time. So I think I'll have to throw about 6 of them in her crib so maybe she'll feel one and put it in her mouth before fully waking up.
Let me know when you start, we can start a convo back and forth on how our nights are going and what's working. I think our gate will be here by Friday, so I'm hoping to start this as soon as it gets here.
ETA: Just checked the status of the gate,...should be here today. IF this stupid tropical storm doesn't screw that delivery up!
We did sleep training at 4 months, so I'm not much help with the transition now. But if you are looking for a gentle CIO method we did The Sleepeasy Solution. It worked in about 3 days, and you don't let them cry for really long periods of time. It also has some great info about routines and I think it also talks about sleep training with older LOs. Good Luck!
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