Is there a specific reason you're keeping it a secret?
Yes. A lot of women here have suffered miscarriage or other losses. in my case, I lost my little girl because of early labor at 23 weeks. The general consensus is to keep pregnancy a secret for a while until we feel comfortable enough to tell people, and to avoid awkward questions if we tell super early and end up losing the pregnancy.
I had a very sick patient ask me today if I was having a baby. I said nothing and they became embarrassed and said ' probably not, sorry about that.' I felt bad for the guy but I'm not ready to tell people yet.
Is there a specific reason you're keeping it a secret?
While I'm happy to be pregnant and one of the fortunate few that hasn't suffered any losses, I'm still relatively private and would like to wait until closer to the end of the first trimester. I'd rather hold back than explain a miscarriage to everyone on FB.
However, we did come out today at 10 weeks. I feel a little less anxiety about it when we get closer to 13-14. But I'm continuing to tell myself that based on my health, age and EDD, the odds of a miscarriage at this point are 0.05
Is there a specific reason you're keeping it a secret?
I don't want it known at work because I just started this job and I don't want it influencing others opinions of me as a professional.
I'm lucky that I wear a smock over my clothes and work with mostly clueless dudes (notice how nobody is being called out by men, it's always women) so I am hoping to hide up to 20 weeks.
Post by jedimomtricks on Jan 23, 2015 21:01:08 GMT -5
This is one area being a stay at home mom rocks. In the deep winter we don't get out much other than to the back yard, so no one sees me except really close friends/family and they know already. Just have to wear loose shirts to church once a week to cover my bloat and boob growth. Plus people seem to assume that after having 2 fifteen months apart I'd have the good sense to put some more time between the next, or just stop lol...
I got called out in a different way. I had a mc in September and it was my reason for not taking a job. Anyway, fast forward to yesterday and I got an email from a parent whose kid I teach and she said "I heard you were pg. All good?" I don't know how to answer that. Yes I was, but I lost it and now I am again... seems strange. Besides, I am not ready for my students to find out yet. I lost my first at 16 weeks, so I am not going public for another 6 weeks at least
I'm so sorry for your loss, and now the difficulty in trying to work through the q's. Wish I had some advice, but just wanted to say I feel for you!
Alcohol outed me. Apparently I was a heavier drinker than I would have liked to admit I got my bfp right before Christmas break, and we had already planned to host a party. My sister was all excited because she bought all of this fancy stuff to make martinis at the party. We weren't going to tell her until closer to 10 weeks but I didn't know how to get out of drinking the martinis she was making. She is the type who just makes them and hands them to you (which is normally never an inconvenient thing!) Haha! Anyway we decided to just tell her and since she knew she ended up being my non-alcoholic-secret-drink-mixer. She'd just hand me a cocktail and everyone would assume I was having the same stuff!
Post by laurennowa on Jan 23, 2015 21:07:34 GMT -5
Thanks mosdub! I am not sure how I am going to handle it just yet, but I don't have to see the parents for a couple weeks, so hopefully I can just avoid answering the questions until then.
Our immediate families are the only ones who know right now and MIL accidentally posted our news on FB. She's not the most tech savvy, so when she got an email notification that an old friend posted on her wall, she thought it was an actual email...and didn't realize when she emailed back (including "my youngest and his wife are expecting a baby!") That it would post to HER wall and be visible to the world. Luckily my sister saw it within 10 minutes and called me...but it took about 15 minutes on the phone with MIL to explain how to delete it. I'm sure some people saw it, but everyone's been quiet about it which I appreciate.
I am getting the "When are you having kids?" question pretty frequently, to which my response is always "Well, I'm not getting any younger..." I find people stop asking after that. Vague as it is, it communicates that I don't want to talk about when I'm having kids, thank you very much. I don't think everyone understands what a personal question that is.
I had a couple people ask me if I had any news to tell them. I simply said, nope, no news and went about my business. I keep having dreams about being outed at work though. In my dreams the person calling me out knows beyond a shadow of a doubt somehow. Thank goodness I only have to keep it in for another couple weeks.
Post by oopsiedaisies on Jan 24, 2015 0:33:25 GMT -5
I had a male coworker call me out and I have a horrible liar face, so he knew. He'd offered sharing something he was eating with me, and I declined because I said I didn't feel well...and he immediately goes, you're pregnant aren't you? And yep, my face gave it away. I did however let him know that it was rude to assume that without somebody telling him first for future reference, but he doesn't seem to be one that cares. Guess what he does now! He TALKS to my belly. Awesome dude.
Post by sunshinelady15 on Jan 24, 2015 1:05:33 GMT -5
My 10yo kid snitched. She goes to an all girl school and the girls are pretty advanced for their ages as far as being realy freaking smart. (Like seriously I can't even help with math homework and she is in the 5th grade) So during a health class they were discussing reproduction and she outed me. Tonight at the middle school square dance, all of her little girl friends decked out in western gear kept running up and hugging and/or waving saying congrats! "name" is gonna be an awesome big sister. I smiled and said thanks. Not 10 mins after the dance ends, I get emails with "congrats" in the subject line. That munchkin of mine!! We discussed waiting until Valentine's Day! Her little face though she was so excited so I couldn't really be mad.
Is there a specific reason you're keeping it a secret?
Yes. A lot of women here have suffered miscarriage or other losses. in my case, I lost my little girl because of early labor at 23 weeks. The general consensus is to keep pregnancy a secret for a while until we feel comfortable enough to tell people, and to avoid awkward questions if we tell super early and end up losing the pregnancy.
xxbxx, if you work in the realm of maternity, why did you ask this? Don't you know?!(abvintage...)
Yes. A lot of women here have suffered miscarriage or other losses. in my case, I lost my little girl because of early labor at 23 weeks. The general consensus is to keep pregnancy a secret for a while until we feel comfortable enough to tell people, and to avoid awkward questions if we tell super early and end up losing the pregnancy.
xxbxx, if you work in the realm of maternity, why did you ask this? Don't you know?!(abvintage... & gingerygirl, I'm so sorry that you lost your baby. This isn't the first time I've read about your experience and each time leaves me flabbergasted.)
I had no intention of telling before the 12 wk mark or so besides parents, my co workers at my primary job (there's 3) and my boss at my other job since it will take me out of work for the summer and trainings. We are still in the closet pushing 13 weeks with these exceptions. HOWEVER, I accidently outed myself at DD'S holiday shop at school. I'm VP of the PTA. While setting up holiday shop one of the other Moms asked where the table for the baby stuff was so she could put the sign on it. Another Mom grabbed the sign and said "how about right here" and stuck it to my belly to be a smart ass. Yeah.... Apparantly I turned beat red and they started sqeeee'ing. There are 5 of us so I had to reinact the moment. Swore them to secrecy. No one spilled thankfully. Our Pres has a set of twins so I've been able to use her as a resourse since I'm growing two. Oops.
Another teacher I work with has been calling me out all school year. Even before I was pregnant. Her reasoning was she said she was hungry and I told her I had saltines in my purse from DS being sick over the weekend. She decided I had morning sickness. I just laugh her off now even though she is right. My bloat is pretty large these days and I'm not really sure how to hide it anymore. I was sick earlier this week and out two days. When I came back 2 girls asked what was wrong, I told them I had a stomach virus, their response was "Oh we thought you were pregnant"... gotta love 7th graders. I neither confirmed nor denied.
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