Intro. Help with grown sibling. Long **Update in OP**
Jul 6, 2015 12:38:41 GMT -5
Post by chaosmuppet on Jul 6, 2015 12:38:41 GMT -5
Hello everyone! I was ppants on TD and joined when everyone came over, but rarely post. I could use some help, thoughts, and need to vent.
I'm really struggling with what to do/how to help my brother (DB). He's 35 and lives in FL while the rest of my family lives in KS. He has depression and is bipolar (diagnosed a few years ago). He was a history of alcohol and drug abuse (he isn't currently using to the best of my knowledge) and gambling issues (not presently). He is prescribed meds for his bipolar and depression. On the meds, he seems to do well. His history is very long. He's been hospitalized three times against his will due to his mental instability. He was also arrested due to his behavior. During these times, my dad flew to Florida to try to sort things out. My parents do ok money wise, but they certainly can't up and fly out all the time without there being a financial impact.
His dog recently had to be put down due to cancer and he and his wife are getting a divorce. Both are things we knew would be happening, but as they are happening at the same time, it's really thrown him for a loop. We got multiple texts from his wife (will be ex-wife) over the weekend about how DB packed up and left their home unexpectedly. He had been looking for a place to live other than their home. SIL couldn't get a hold of him. He's not in his home city and I got a call from my dad this am that he's flying down to help DB.
I'm frustrated as there's nothing I can do. With his last hospitalization, my dad flew down and I spent hours on the phone contacting facilities in the area that have inpatient programs so my dad would have options/inform to help once he could access the situation. My SIL and her family (also down in FL) are very "we have to have the best of the best" type people. Once my dad was down there, it was very unproductive. They didn't get a copy of the police report for days, and finally got him in to see a dr in FL. SIL and DB decided to see a dr in Texas to see who specializes in multiple personality disorder/dissociative identity disorder. This dr treated Herschel Walker (former NFL player) so I guess that gave him a lot of credibility in their eyes. Dr diagnosed DB with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). IMO, DB 100% does not have DID. It doesn't really matter to me what DB is diagnosed with as long as *he* believes it and gets better. They came home from Texas after being there a couple of weeks. A few weeks later, DB begins to question his DID diagnosis.
I have a friend who's a doctorate of pediatric neuropyschology. I've vented to her about all of this over the years. I told DB that he could talk or email her to get her thoughts on what had been happening. He did and between her and his new psychiatrist, he was diagnosed as bipolar. I do believe he is bipolar and DB has agreed also. DB came to KS for Christmas this year and it was great. My grandma passed away in January and he came back for the funeral and still seemed to be doing well given the circumstances.
I'm worried about what the future holds for DB and how my parents will be able to handle things. Obviously I'll learn more once my dad gets down there. Sorry for the novel.
UPDATE: It's not really much of one though. My dad arrived in FL late Monday/early Tuesday after a much delayed flight due to rain. DB is out of his medication I guess. They got his meds and collected his items for a hotel he was staying at. They were going to head to DB's home. I haven't heard anything today. Thank you all for letting me crash here.
I'm really struggling with what to do/how to help my brother (DB). He's 35 and lives in FL while the rest of my family lives in KS. He has depression and is bipolar (diagnosed a few years ago). He was a history of alcohol and drug abuse (he isn't currently using to the best of my knowledge) and gambling issues (not presently). He is prescribed meds for his bipolar and depression. On the meds, he seems to do well. His history is very long. He's been hospitalized three times against his will due to his mental instability. He was also arrested due to his behavior. During these times, my dad flew to Florida to try to sort things out. My parents do ok money wise, but they certainly can't up and fly out all the time without there being a financial impact.
His dog recently had to be put down due to cancer and he and his wife are getting a divorce. Both are things we knew would be happening, but as they are happening at the same time, it's really thrown him for a loop. We got multiple texts from his wife (will be ex-wife) over the weekend about how DB packed up and left their home unexpectedly. He had been looking for a place to live other than their home. SIL couldn't get a hold of him. He's not in his home city and I got a call from my dad this am that he's flying down to help DB.
I'm frustrated as there's nothing I can do. With his last hospitalization, my dad flew down and I spent hours on the phone contacting facilities in the area that have inpatient programs so my dad would have options/inform to help once he could access the situation. My SIL and her family (also down in FL) are very "we have to have the best of the best" type people. Once my dad was down there, it was very unproductive. They didn't get a copy of the police report for days, and finally got him in to see a dr in FL. SIL and DB decided to see a dr in Texas to see who specializes in multiple personality disorder/dissociative identity disorder. This dr treated Herschel Walker (former NFL player) so I guess that gave him a lot of credibility in their eyes. Dr diagnosed DB with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). IMO, DB 100% does not have DID. It doesn't really matter to me what DB is diagnosed with as long as *he* believes it and gets better. They came home from Texas after being there a couple of weeks. A few weeks later, DB begins to question his DID diagnosis.
I have a friend who's a doctorate of pediatric neuropyschology. I've vented to her about all of this over the years. I told DB that he could talk or email her to get her thoughts on what had been happening. He did and between her and his new psychiatrist, he was diagnosed as bipolar. I do believe he is bipolar and DB has agreed also. DB came to KS for Christmas this year and it was great. My grandma passed away in January and he came back for the funeral and still seemed to be doing well given the circumstances.
I'm worried about what the future holds for DB and how my parents will be able to handle things. Obviously I'll learn more once my dad gets down there. Sorry for the novel.
UPDATE: It's not really much of one though. My dad arrived in FL late Monday/early Tuesday after a much delayed flight due to rain. DB is out of his medication I guess. They got his meds and collected his items for a hotel he was staying at. They were going to head to DB's home. I haven't heard anything today. Thank you all for letting me crash here.
Vent away!
