I'm the default parent in the way of taking care of DD. But DH does a lot more of the house work than I do. We just talked about this and think it's mainly the situation we are in. He is a PhD student and has a crazy schedule. I have a 9-5 job M - F with on call every 3 Saturday's. My schedule is easier. Also, DD goes to daycare 2 minutes from where I work so it makes sense for me to do most of the drop offs and pick ups. He has a placement (where he sees clients) each year and it changes where each year too. So we couldn't really have daycare be close to him. All that being said he does pick her up early or keep her home for a half day one - two times a week. If I had to go out of town or needed him to watch her for a day he is totally capable of doing that without my help! He actually stayed home with her for the rest of the summer after she was born and I went back to work after only being able to take 6 weeks off. He is a great husband and dad!
I'm the primary caretaker but given that I'm a SAHM, that's expected. Like PPs, I've struggled with DH not being so intuitive to DS' needs or my needs and has very little foresight in general, beyond what affects his own personal needs/wants. This is ok.. I am coming to terms with being more direct, more flexible, more supportive, more accepting and more positive towards DH so that I am not feeling let down but also to model better behavior for my family. Definitely hard to do away with my short fuse though.
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