\O/ Weekly Goals Check In: 7/13/15 \O/

[icequeen]

Hi y'all!

Here comes another week of goals! Please update us on how you did this past week with the goals you set, both short and long term, and plan any new goals you may have following the format below. Please also be sure to include any trigger warnings you feel are appropriate. Thanks!!

Goal:
Short or long term?
Why is it important?
How am I going to accomplish it?

[somebirdswalk]

***Trigger Warning: self harm***

First time, here I go!


It's a short and long term goal, but I'm going to focus on the short term of not self harming this week and build from there. I had gone nearly a year without harming myself but the stress of PP and sleep deprivation finally wore me down.

It's important because ... well because it's not healthy and it's important to my husband that I don't hurt myself, and it's important for my family that I stay well and develop better coping techniques. Wow, that simple question is a lot harder than I expected!

I intend to accomplish my goal by paying special attention to my sleep and getting more of it this week, as well as feeding myself more regularly and taking breaks from baby instead of letting myself get worn down to a breaking point.

Hope everyone has a great week!

[yoshijo28]

somebirdswalk that's definately a great goal and I hope you accomplish it. I think it's a good idea to break it into a smaller goal or time period so it's not so overwhelming and you can feel accomplished when you reach it. You seem to be in tune with your triggers and I hope eating enough and getting rest help you

AFM:

**eating disorder mentioned**
Last week's goal was to not exercise Wedsnesday. That went to hell and I snuck in a 30 minute cardio session. I extended my workouts on other days and did about 90 minutes more than usual for the week.

Goal #1: We are going on vacation Saturday for 6 days and I really want to limit my exercise to an hour each time only 3 times total.

Why is it important? I want to enjoy my vacation and prove I can do it for the week.

How to accomplish it: tell DH so he comes looking if I go past it. It's hard to make up excuses in a hotel- I can't get stuck at work or in traffic

Goal #2: don't log anything I eat on vacation

Why is it important: I will freak out if I visually see the calories in my cocktails (and my goal is to have some even though the "wasted calories" and high calorie count have me anxious) or food and I don't want it to ruin my time

How to accomplish it: I purposely didn't get an international data plan so won't have access to my app. Also I will listen to my body and stop when I'm full so I don't get anxious from the full feeling.

Eta: not looking at the calories may help me not binge since I won't assume failure and do my all or nothing behavior if I eat too much

[icequeen]

somebirdswalk, I'm glad you decided to post your goals! I completely understand the stress and chaos of motherhood just being too much to handle sometimes, and how easy it is for those behaviors to resurface. I hope you can forgive yourself for your slip ups and just take it one day at a time. You've got this!

yoshijo28, wow you are taking on some huge goals this week! It is amazing to see that you are willing to really change your behaviors even if it is for a short time. You will be able to prove to yourself that you are strong and gain confidence in your recovery. I love that you purposely didn't get the data plan for your app, that is great!! Just a thought, if you feel like working out only three times for an hour is too little, maybe you could do half an hour every day so your ED mind will be pacified by at least getting some exercise in, but not too much?

* Trigger: ED/PG mentioned *

I did pretty well this past week. I think it's better for me to get away from the "all or nothing" mindset that I set up with the non ED/ED days, and instead focus on one meal at a time. I think it is too easy for me to just say fuck it all and ruin the rest of a non ED even if I have a tiny mistake. I was able to make it halfway through Thursday but lost it by dinner, due to some unforeseen issues at the restaurant that threw me for a loop. I was able to eat all 3 meals at a restaurant and not purge, which is huge, and they were all scary foods for me. I also took my rest day on Sunday.

Goal 1: Focus on meals instead of days
Short or long term? Long
Why is it important? I psych myself out by taking on a big chunk of time without behaviors. When something goes wrong, I can easily give myself an out and say "oh well this day is already ruined so might as well not try". That's not the right attitude.
How am I going to accomplish it? Be proud of myself for both small victories and big ones and give myself credit for the improvements that I do make.

Goal 2: Keep my weight up for this week's OB appt
Short or long term? Long
Why is it important? I need to be ok with weight gain especially during pregnancy, because I don't want to have complications or put my baby in danger.
How am I going to accomplish it? Continue not weighing myself and reinforcing positive self talk.

Goal 3: Keep down 3 separate meals different days this week
Short or long term? Short
Why is it important? Every meal I don't purge is a victory and I need to treat it as such instead of beating myself up and self sabotaging the other days that do not go well.
How am I going to accomplish it? Have my husband sit with me or go out to eat with him and DD for extra support.

[yoshijo28]

icequeen I like the idea of maybe splitting up the exercise. I'm not sure which will be better since I'll have a lot of energy after only 30 mins and feel the urge to do longer. I also don't want DH angry that I'm going to work out everyday on vacation. But like you said it might make me feel better and less anxious if it seems like I'm incorporating some exercise each day.

I told you this but I'm so proud of you for your weekend! I know how hard it was to eat out and eat the scary foods out and you did great! I love your goals of treating each meal separately and I think you're finally ready to do this. Really limiting the all or nothing attitude is one of your toughest challenges (mine too!) and I can't wait for you to accomplish it.

[Deleted]

My goal this week is not to be a raging bitch around my family.
Short-term.
It's important because my family is hurt when I lash out at them.
I will accomplish it by walking away when I feel the rage starting to build and do deep breathing until I calm down.

Another goal is to not beat myself up about how I'm feeling and acting.
Short-term.
It's important because I don't want to spiral into a depression.
I will accomplish it by stopping the negative self-talk as soon as I hear it, and replacing it with forgiving words.

I hate being at the will of my hormones.

[Deleted]

somebirdswalk Welcome and good luck with your goals this week.
yoshijo28 I hope you have a great time on your vacation!
icequeen I like how you've changed your goals this week to try to be more successful. In my field we call that adaptive management.

[rosied]

First post as well

*trigger warning- self harm*

Goal: Biggest goal is to make sure I cover everything I need to in my therapy session Thursday night. Due to my therapists schedule and my car accident last week I haven't seen her in three weeks. Second goal is to take care of myself this week. That includes getting enough sleep and going for a walk after dinner.
Short or long term? Short term
Why is it important? I need to build in taking care of myself into the schedule so it doesn't become something I drop if my schedule gets too busy
How am I going to accomplish it? 1) make notes of everything that has happened in the last 3 weeks 2) try and go to bed earlier and convince MH we should go for a walk after dinner.

and I don't know where is appropriate to share this but I have my med check appointment on Friday and am very happy with where I am at with my medicines and my therapy. Despite lots of tough situations these last few weeks I haven't felt the need to hurt myself.

[icequeen]

@rocknrollfriend, I totally understand the impulse to want to lash out at family. I have little patience with my family as well and I really don't like the way I react to situations when I go visit, especially with my dad and elderly great aunt. I am sure you have legitimate reasons for wanting to explode on them but I think taking a step back and being alone for a few minutes is a great idea. I know it's easy to get upset with yourself and be self-critical but I hope that you can see how much effort you are putting into your mental health every day and that it's not always going to be a good day.
rosied, so happy your self-harming thoughts have been limited lately. I think making notes to take with you to therapy is a great idea and I like that you are including MH in your goals, like the walking.

[yoshijo28]

Jul 14, 2015 10:23:06 GMT -5 @rocknrollfriend said:

My goal this week is not to be a raging bitch around my family.
Short-term.
It's important because my family is hurt when I lash out at them.
I will accomplish it by walking away when I feel the rage starting to build and do deep breathing until I calm down.

Another goal is to not beat myself up about how I'm feeling and acting.
Short-term.
It's important because I don't want to spiral into a depression.
I will accomplish it by stopping the negative self-talk as soon as I hear it, and replacing it with forgiving words.

I hate being at the will of my hormones.

I hope you can give yourself the credit you deserve. You are making the effort to control your emotions and recognize when you're going to lash out so you can take a step back to prevent that. That in itself is a reason to feel good about yourself!

[Deleted]

Thank you icequeen and yoshijo28, I have been trying to stay focused on feeling better and making amends with my family rather than isolating myself out of shame. I am feeling a little better today so that is good.

[somebirdswalk]

Jul 14, 2015 12:47:51 GMT -5 rosied said:

First post as well

*trigger warning- self harm*

Goal: Biggest goal is to make sure I cover everything I need to in my therapy session Thursday night. Due to my therapists schedule and my car accident last week I haven't seen her in three weeks. Second goal is to take care of myself this week. That includes getting enough sleep and going for a walk after dinner.
Short or long term? Short term
Why is it important? I need to build in taking care of myself into the schedule so it doesn't become something I drop if my schedule gets too busy
How am I going to accomplish it? 1) make notes of everything that has happened in the last 3 weeks 2) try and go to bed earlier and convince MH we should go for a walk after dinner.

and I don't know where is appropriate to share this but I have my med check appointment on Friday and am very happy with where I am at with my medicines and my therapy. Despite lots of tough situations these last few weeks I haven't felt the need to hurt myself.

That's awesome! I like to hear good news and achievements, so I say totally appropriate and thanks for sharing! Keep on keepin' on!

[bocaburger]

icequeen, thanks for the check-in! Good job last week. I think your first goal this week is a great idea and will be more manageable.
somebirdswalk, welcome! Good job picking a reasonable short-term goal. I hope it goes well this week.
yoshijo28, sorry you weren't able to meet your goals last week. I hope this week goes better. Have a great time on your vacation!
@rocknrollfriend, have you tried practicing mindfulness? That might help you reconnect to yourself when you feel yourself getting angry or being hard on yourself. I think if you google mindfulness you can find some good free guides and videos.
rosied, welcome and good luck with your goals this week!
jennykat, welcome and good luck tomorrow!

[bocaburger]

Last week, I did really well on a lot of my goals. I felt really good all week, had a lot of energy, and very low anxiety. Unfortunately on Monday I got really anxious in the morning. It lasted for most of the day and really threw me off so I didn't accomplish anything. As a result I had to spend yesterday and today cramming for an exam (which I took tonight). Now I feel totally braindead and a bit sad/anxious again. I also had to cancel my therapy appointment yesterday, and I really wish I had gotten the opportunity to talk through what triggered my anxiety on Monday.

Since I am struggling a bit more this week, I'm not really going to set any lofty goals, I will mostly just focus on maintenance and trying not to fall apart. Next week I will try to get back to some of my previous goals.

Goal: Keep the apartment tidy
Short or long term? Short term
Why is it important? I cleaned a lot last week. It has gotten a bit messier, but not terrible. I don't want it to get any worse because then it will start adding to my stress level.
How am I going to accomplish it? Pick up anything on the floor before I go to bed each night. Clean up after myself when I finish an activity.

Goal: Function through my anxiety
Short or long term? Short term
Why is it important? When I get really anxious I often ignore my responsibilities, cancel appointments and social outings, etc. This is not healthy and only adds to my anxiety later.
How am I going to accomplish it? Acknowledge that I am feeling anxious and push myself to continue activities as planned. Break tasks into small steps.

[yoshijo28]

rosied making a list for your therapist is a great idea. I usually do that before my appointment and it helps a ton so I don't freeze up when talking to her. Also great to hear you were able to manage difficult sitiations in a healthier way this week

jennykat that's so exciting good luck tomorrow!

[Deleted]

rosied Welcome!

bocaburger I like your last goal (as long as those activities aren't likely to push you into a panic). My therapist said he sometimes tells patients "you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Change your behavior and the feelings will follow." I said that's a nice thought! I hope it's true for you.

[somebirdswalk]

Jul 15, 2015 21:42:49 GMT -5 @rocknrollfriend said:

rosied Welcome!

bocaburger I like your last goal (as long as those activities aren't likely to push you into a panic). My therapist said he sometimes tells patients "you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Change your behavior and the feelings will follow." I said that's a nice thought! I hope it's true for you.

 Love that quote from yer therapist! It's really difficult for me to go outside my comfort zone and I will often panic or meltdown lickety split, but the concept of getting more comfortable being uncomfortable sounds so much more useful. A worthwhile goal methinks. Right in line with my building resiliency goals too. 

[bocaburger]

I found this motivational quote that is really helping me. Just wanted to pass it along. I hope it helps some of you with your goals!

[icequeen]

jennykat, Wow I am so excited for you! Getting your permit and license will be so freeing. I can imagine how that will help your overall self confidence and mental state. Please let us know how it went!
bocaburger, good job with keeping up with the cleaning. I know it can be daunting sometimes and easy to put off. I really like your last goal too, but do you think it should be a long term goal instead of short? I think in order to better function through your anxiety, you should think about what situations are especially triggering for you. Maybe you can make a list or think about how to react to them ideally, so next time they come up, you will have some idea of how to cope?

[icequeen]

Jul 16, 2015 16:57:48 GMT -5 jennykat said:

icequeen - the meeting was draining. They asked so many questions! Near the end, I was overanalyzing and thinking "something must be wrong if they are asking this much" but then they told me I passed! By the end of next week I should be able to apply for my permit. That's going to be a whole new set of worries there. But I am thankful for the opportunity to have them.

bocaburger - I really liked your quote! Thank you for sharing.

That's so good to hear! It's one step closer. I understand that having the permit will be a challenge as well but all you can do is keep practicing and be kind to yourself. So proud of you, girl!

[yoshijo28]

Jul 15, 2015 21:42:49 GMT -5 @rocknrollfriend said:

rosied Welcome!

bocaburger I like your last goal (as long as those activities aren't likely to push you into a panic). My therapist said he sometimes tells patients "you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Change your behavior and the feelings will follow." I said that's a nice thought! I hope it's true for you.

This is such an awsome quote and rings very true. I'll have to remember it. Thanks for sharing

[yoshijo28]

bocaburger I really like the goal you have about how to push through the anxiety and finish the tasks you have planned. Countless times I've left clothes on the floor or dishes in the sink because I was too overwhelmed or anxious to clean. I hope breaking things into small tasks works well for you.

jennykat I'm so glad your meeting was positive, congrats!