Post by virginiaorjohn on Jul 20, 2015 18:16:43 GMT -5
I went to my first appointment at the OB's office today at 10w3d and there was no heartbeat. This is our very first pregnancy ever after over a year of trying, and finally getting pregnant after 3 IUIs, a freeze-all and a FET. At my last ultrasound at the RE three weeks ago, the heartbeat was strong in the 160s.
I went to the appointment alone today because MH had already gone with me to two ultrasounds at the RE's office and I thought this appointment would be nothing new. The ultrasound tech was silent and then she told me she couldn't find a heartbeat. They think it stopped growing at 8 weeks.
MH came to get me from the OB's office and we spoke to the doctor together. She offered us a D&C or to wait for a natural miscarriage, our choice. We are waiting to hear from our RE to see if he has a preference on how we handle this, specifically if he thinks we should have the products of a D&C tested for abnormalities.
I have been reading the PL miscarriage advice sticky posts, and I am feeling so... numb. I haven't had any spotting and I just stopped crinone suppositories on Friday so I have no idea how long a natural miscarriage will take. And for some reason I am terrified of the contractions for a miscarriage, but not by the same pain associated with labor and delivery.
For now, DH took the day off of work and we are trying to get over the shock. I have been crying off and on all day because I can't seem to stop.
Post by fionnathehuman on Jul 20, 2015 19:12:17 GMT -5
I am so very sorry for your loss... hugs...
Take good care of yourself and know that to feel numb is very common... it is good that your H can be with you right now...
I had my 3rd mc feel weeks ago and I chose to wait for it to be natural. It ended up happened 6 days after I stopped progesterone, but everyone is different... the pain can be really bad so if u choose to wait I think you should ask your doc for some pain medicine...
I also thought about getting a d&c for testing and maybe to have some closure but changed my mind after the doctor said that the results would not change his approach to the treatment ( that and I wanted to avoid any procedure... it sounded scary to me)
BFP#1 April 2014 MC: June 9th 2014 BFP#2 Sept 2014 MC: Nov 05th 2014 BFP#3 April 2015 MMC: June 2015 BFP#4 January 2016 Birth : 09/08/2016 Baby A is now 29 months
Post by teenybenoit on Jul 20, 2015 19:41:28 GMT -5
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is such a horrible experience and feeling numb is just one of many emotions you are bound to feel. I had my 3rd mc in May and I was also on progesterone, no spotting and at 9 weeks I was measuring 6wks. I chose to have a natural mc and it happened a few days after I stopped progesterone suppositories. Pain for me was a tough one, but I went to the dr and got T3's and naproxen which helped me to rest and not feel as much pain. This is a great group of supportive women so please continue to reach out. Hugs.
Post by ronniesgirl on Jul 20, 2015 19:50:22 GMT -5
Hi there. I am so sorry. I couldn't handle feeling like a ticking time bomb and opted for the d&c. At the time I was told it could take weeks for my body to figure it out. As it was, my d&c was ~two weeks after the last growth and I wasn't even spotting.
Post by NatalieDavid on Jul 21, 2015 7:03:22 GMT -5
I am so very sorry for your loss. I've had one mc and my doctor told me it would be best to get a D&C. The procedure was easy and it made some things easier bc everything was over quickly. I had started cramping and bleeding and that is what prompted me to go to the doctor. After the procedure I had zero pain except for in my heart. That was May 29th and even though things are easier each day there are triggers everywhere. Grief is very real so be gentle with yourself, we are all here for you.
I am so so sorry for your loss. Missed miscarriages with no symptoms are particularly hard to go through. I hope you and your H do what is necessary for you emotionally and physically - whether that be a D&C or natural miscarriage. Sending you love. Take care of yourself.
I'm so sorry to see you here. Please let me know if you want to talk. Your feelings are very normal. Take care of yourself. Let yourself feel all the emotions as they come; process them. I go in waves...rational, angry, sad, accepting...
Post by virginiaorjohn on Jul 23, 2015 6:31:45 GMT -5
Thank you ladies so much for all of your kind words.
I had a D&C yesterday and I think it was the best choice for me at this time. I had no spotting at all right up to the procedure and I had no idea how long it would take naturally. I think more than anything I was afraid of the wait, and pre-procedure I was crying uncontrollably all the time, and since the procedure I have felt more peaceful. Not at peace, just more calm.
DH and I are just taking it day by day. I have had some house projects on my list and I'll be attacking them. Will probably paint our master bedroom soon, and DH wants to start a Whole30 challenge. We might also take a weekend trip this weekend if my cramps have subsided. With us, it's all about projects and more projects to keep us busy.
Thank you girls again. I love this community, I really do.
Hi virginiaorjohn, I'm so sorry you find yourself here after everything, I'm so so sorry for your loss. **hugs** Glad to read the D&C went well for you and that you are feeling a bit more calm now. Peace, that may take a while yet, but over time you will start feeling a bit better, I promise. It's good to keep busy, but also listen to your body and take all the time you need to recover both physicall as mentally.
I'm so sorry for your loss, virginiaorjohn. I hope your recovery from the D&C continues to go well, knowing the recovery within your heart will take a much longer time. My D&C was a week ago. Still spotting and waiting for my levels to drop. Also ended up with a mild infection so being monitored for that as well. Big hugs to you...
AKA Lesliem0901 TTC#1 since June 2012 Dx: AMA (42)|DH (42) BFP after 4th IUI cycle with Gonal F + Ovidrel on March 2014 | EDD 12/7/14 | MMC on 4/14/14 IVF #1 BFP on 9/11 | EDD 5/20/15. MMC confirmed on 10/13. D&C on 10/14 at 9w (male with Trisomy 14). IVF #2 - CCS testing of two 6-day blasts (no go). CYCLE BREAK. BFP on 6/14/15! EDD: 2/20/16. MMC confirmed on 7/10. Trisomy 22. D&C on 7/15. UPDATE: DEg transfer on 1/28; two 3-day embies - BFN
*snip* I think more than anything I was afraid of the wait, and pre-procedure I was crying uncontrollably all the time, and since the procedure I have felt more peaceful. Not at peace, just more calm. *snip*
I definitely understand the bolded. I had the choice of doing a D&C the following day, induce, or wait a week. I chose to do the D&C right away. It is a personal choice and I am glad you are feeling better emotionally since.
I hope you heal as quickly as possible physically, and allow yourself all the time you need to emotionally heal.
Hello virginiaorjohn, I am so sorry for your loss and I am glad it all went as well as it could and I hope you are continuing to do well. Good luck with your projects, I do know being busy sure did help me. Take care!
Me: 36, DH 32 Bfp#1 June 2014 edd: Feb. 22, 2015,mmc: Aug. 5,2014,D&C Bfp#2 Feb. 2015 edd: Oct.12, 2015, mmc: Mar. 7,2015, D&C
DX: Me: slightly hypothyroid, taking meds DH: SA Showed all low levels, urologist appointment showed all was normal, so no reason why the levels were bad.
Plan: IUI #1 Aug. 25mg clomed, to help boost egg quality - BFN IUI #2 Sept. 25mg clomed, BFN IUI#3 Dec. BFP!! TWINS Edd: Aug. 22, 2016
Post by fionnathehuman on Jul 24, 2015 12:30:38 GMT -5
Hello there, I am glad everything went good with your D&C and that you are feeling a little better. To start new projects is a great idea to keep the mind busy. Good luck and be well!
BFP#1 April 2014 MC: June 9th 2014 BFP#2 Sept 2014 MC: Nov 05th 2014 BFP#3 April 2015 MMC: June 2015 BFP#4 January 2016 Birth : 09/08/2016 Baby A is now 29 months
I'm so sorry for your loss. I saw that you updated to say you chose a D&C. I also went that route, and was happy with my decision. The weeks after were incredibly painful and confusing for me, and I didn't believe it when it was said to me then, but it truly does get better. You will find ways to cope, and heal, though of course you will never forget. Please be gentle with yourself and take whatever time you need to grieve. I found this board to be a huge comfort when I was having my loss, and I hope you do too. Hugs.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad the D&C gave you a sense of calm, I know the waiting can be so hard. I hope the boards here are helpful for you. I have found PL and CAL to be really supportive and comforting.
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.