Intro/ Loss, Infertility, and GAD
Jul 22, 2015 19:29:14 GMT -5
Post by lo95 on Jul 22, 2015 19:29:14 GMT -5
I've been lurking and thought I'd intro before I jumped into conversations. 
My "mental health rap sheet" includes the death of one parent during my childhood, the diagnosis of cancer in the other parent in that same year, the traumatic death of a grandparent who helped raise me, and a lot of instability throughout most of my early years. In spite of everything, the anxiety from it all was like this insane adrenaline energy- anything and everything that scared me motivated me. I was successful at anything I put my mind to- school, career, friends, goals in general...until DH and I tried to get pregnant. My world blew apart when we were each diagnosed with infertility issues. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.
I am thankful to say that after surgery and IVF we were able to get pregnant and have a beautiful baby. She's the love of my life. But the experience of infertility has crippled me. I am in counseling with a therapist who specializes in infertility and she at first believed I had situational anxiety due to the infertility, but as we've gone on, she believes I am dealing with the early losses and trauma of my childhood as much as the infertility.
I am really hesitant to try meds at this point even though my therapist harps about it at pretty much every appointment. I do think I could benefit from the right med if we could find it, but I am nervous about the fallout from trying wrong ones first. At this point I've not dealt with PPD, but the PPA/generalized anxiety is pretty severe. I love DD dearly and worry constantly about her health/wellbeing. My goal is to find a way to balance the worry and anxiety without constantly seeking reassurance from others. If anyone can speak to postpartum anxiety or just generalized anxiety I am up for ideas.
My "mental health rap sheet" includes the death of one parent during my childhood, the diagnosis of cancer in the other parent in that same year, the traumatic death of a grandparent who helped raise me, and a lot of instability throughout most of my early years. In spite of everything, the anxiety from it all was like this insane adrenaline energy- anything and everything that scared me motivated me. I was successful at anything I put my mind to- school, career, friends, goals in general...until DH and I tried to get pregnant. My world blew apart when we were each diagnosed with infertility issues. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.
I am thankful to say that after surgery and IVF we were able to get pregnant and have a beautiful baby. She's the love of my life. But the experience of infertility has crippled me. I am in counseling with a therapist who specializes in infertility and she at first believed I had situational anxiety due to the infertility, but as we've gone on, she believes I am dealing with the early losses and trauma of my childhood as much as the infertility.
I am really hesitant to try meds at this point even though my therapist harps about it at pretty much every appointment. I do think I could benefit from the right med if we could find it, but I am nervous about the fallout from trying wrong ones first. At this point I've not dealt with PPD, but the PPA/generalized anxiety is pretty severe. I love DD dearly and worry constantly about her health/wellbeing. My goal is to find a way to balance the worry and anxiety without constantly seeking reassurance from others. If anyone can speak to postpartum anxiety or just generalized anxiety I am up for ideas.
