You are not alone freckles. I have found that I am actually friends with a bunch of fucking idiots on fb. Many times I have to shut my mouth and move on. Thank god for this group
The only time it's ok to mention something like that is if there are going to be strippers!
THIS.
Unless I need some singles, people better not be telling me to bring cash to a party. How is it that so many people think this is alright.
It's actually worse than the new trend everyone keeps rage posting about where the guests all open the gifts for the MTB.
I attended a baby shower a couple weekends ago where they did just that. Everyone raved about what a great idea it was. I side-eyed them and said, "really?". Granted I'm hormonal, but it almost made me cry. I hand crocheted a baby blanket for my friend. It took hours upon hours and some bitch I have never met opened it and announced my gift to the room. "A blanket and a onesie." If I would have known that opening my gift was too much of a chore, I wouldn't have attended the shower. I'm still offended and trying to convince myself it's not my friend's fault, since she didn't plan her own shower.
If I was invited to a cloth diaper shower like this, I'd attend and buy cloth diapers for my own baby. It's very poor etiquette to tell your guests what to purchase for you.
Unless I need some singles, people better not be telling me to bring cash to a party. How is it that so many people think this is alright.
It's actually worse than the new trend everyone keeps rage posting about where the guests all open the gifts for the MTB.
I attended a baby shower a couple weekends ago where they did just that. Everyone raved about what a great idea it was. I side-eyed them and said, "really?". Granted I'm hormonal, but it almost made me cry. I hand crocheted a baby blanket for my friend. It took hours upon hours and some bitch I have never met opened it and announced my gift to the room. "A blanket and a onesie." If I would have known that opening my gift was too much of a chore, I wouldn't have attended the shower. I'm still offended and trying to convince myself it's not my friend's fault, since she didn't plan her own shower.
If I was invited to a cloth diaper shower like this, I'd attend and buy cloth diapers for my own baby. It's very poor etiquette to tell your guests what to purchase for you.
Holy shit. What is the justification for not have the guest of honor open her own damn gifts? My mind is boggled.
I attended a baby shower a couple weekends ago where they did just that. Everyone raved about what a great idea it was. I side-eyed them and said, "really?". Granted I'm hormonal, but it almost made me cry. I hand crocheted a baby blanket for my friend. It took hours upon hours and some bitch I have never met opened it and announced my gift to the room. "A blanket and a onesie." If I would have known that opening my gift was too much of a chore, I wouldn't have attended the shower. I'm still offended and trying to convince myself it's not my friend's fault, since she didn't plan her own shower.
If I was invited to a cloth diaper shower like this, I'd attend and buy cloth diapers for my own baby. It's very poor etiquette to tell your guests what to purchase for you.
Holy shit. What is the justification for not have the guest of honor open her own damn gifts? My mind is boggled.
So apparently the mind boggling logic is that no one likes to watch a MTB sit and open a bunch of gifts, especially if it's a larger baby shower. And some MTBs don't like being the center of attention so they don't want to open gifts for 30-45 minutes while everyone stares at them.
Which is total BS. People want to see your reaction when you open the gift they spent time/money on.
Holy shit. What is the justification for not have the guest of honor open her own damn gifts? My mind is boggled.
So apparently the mind boggling logic is that no one likes to watch a MTB sit and open a bunch of gifts, especially if it's a larger baby shower. And some MTBs don't like being the center of attention so they don't want to open gifts for 30-45 minutes while everyone stares at them.
Which is total BS. People want to see your reaction when you open the gift they spent time/money on.
What the actual fuck??? Isn't that the point of a fucking shower? This is disgusting. And I can imagine how upsetting it would be to not even have the guest of honor open your gift, especially if hand made! Holy shit this is a new level of rude. I'm totally mind blown!! The guest of honor should take time to stop and appreciate what has been so graciously given to her. How does she even know who to thank? I mean, sure, there can be a list of gifts and people, but nothing like in the moment appreciating what someone has done for you. I'm mortified.
Post by foodislove on Jan 26, 2015 10:08:50 GMT -5
Wow. You win so far, freckles.
I might have a story that'll put yours to shame in a few months. A friend of mine who put me through etiquette hell for her bridal shower, bachelorette party, and wedding (and is subsequently divorced after 3 years) is pregnant with another man's baby. I am co-hosting her baby shower. I have my reasons - she basically has no support and her mom calls her fetus "that thing" and it made me sad - no one, regardless of how tacky their behavior, deserves to have their baby called "that thing" by their own mother.
But anyway, I'm envisioning a total cluster fuck and I'm not looking forward to it. All I want is for her to have some nice things for her baby because God knows she won't acquire them otherwise without C and I's help. I CAN say that I will be pleased to no longer be pregnant and I will have my own personal adult beverage to help me get through it.
My cousin had a birthday party for her 5 year old yesterday at Chuck E Cheese and they invited people via Facebook messenger in a group message, which is fine, do what ya gotta do to spread the word. The thing that made me side eye was the end of the message. Here it is:
Just a reminder Sebastian's birthday party this Sunday, jan 25 at chuck e cheese at 4:00 pm. If anyone interested in getting him a gift he's really into his Disney Infinity for the ps3. We bought him the avengers infinity starter pack for Christmas and he likes playing on it. He's been asking for more characters ( he already has Thor,black widow,ironman,baymax) He's also into Disney everything else.
I just thought it was super tacky to include what the kid wants as gifts.
My cousin had a birthday party for her 5 year old yesterday at Chuck E Cheese and they invited people via Facebook messenger in a group message, which is fine, do what ya gotta do to spread the word. The thing that made me side eye was the end of the message. Here it is:
Just a reminder Sebastian's birthday party this Sunday, jan 25 at chuck e cheese at 4:00 pm. If anyone interested in getting him a gift he's really into his Disney Infinity for the ps3. We bought him the avengers infinity starter pack for Christmas and he likes playing on it. He's been asking for more characters ( he already has Thor,black widow,ironman,baymax) He's also into Disney everything else.
I just thought it was super tacky to include what the kid wants as gifts.
yea, IMO, you wait for someone to call you up and ask what he wants, THEN you share this information...not in the invite..
I attended a baby shower a couple weekends ago where they did just that. Everyone raved about what a great idea it was. I side-eyed them and said, "really?". Granted I'm hormonal, but it almost made me cry. I hand crocheted a baby blanket for my friend. It took hours upon hours and some bitch I have never met opened it and announced my gift to the room. "A blanket and a onesie." If I would have known that opening my gift was too much of a chore, I wouldn't have attended the shower. I'm still offended and trying to convince myself it's not my friend's fault, since she didn't plan her own shower.
If I was invited to a cloth diaper shower like this, I'd attend and buy cloth diapers for my own baby. It's very poor etiquette to tell your guests what to purchase for you.
Holy shit. What is the justification for not have the guest of honor open her own damn gifts? My mind is boggled.
For the shower I attended, they said it would take too long to have the MOB open her own gifts. Meanwhile, we were there 2 hours before the gift opening even started. Maybe standing around doing nothing should have been omitted from the shower instead? It was so awkward opening up a gift that was not intended for me. I wanted to refuse, but thought that would be bad etiquette on my end. Also, I had to address my own TY card envelope. Ugh, I get riled up thinking about that shower.
Post by pearsforpoops on Jan 26, 2015 12:50:10 GMT -5
I would have shown up at the cloth diaper party with a box of disposable diapers like "wut?"
We were invited to a "grand opening" of a "bar" via FB event last night. (Read: our good friends bought a fancy bar and built it into their basement and are now hosting a party for everyone to see it. Okay.) So in the event the wife says, "This is also a stock the bar party so bring some boose[sic] to help us out." Really rubbed me the wrong way. You've made a big deal about getting this bar, and called your event the "grand opening." Obviously I know to bring you a bottle of something. Don't tell me to do it because now I don't want to.
Ew. And ew again pearsforpoops (don't know how to tag yet if this isn't right) I hate tacky shit like that! I tend to be a let me make you something cool gift giver but I always mix it with something they wanted from their registry or going over to a friends house I always try to bring a bottle of something. I just can't even with the gift grabby ness of people lately. This girl on fb had a baby shower for her 5th child. FIFTH! No. And I saw where she had asked her friends to throw her one. Gross. I had my one and only shower of my life. From here on out it will be a sip n see event that we will have to celebrate our friends getting together.
Where has everyone's manners gone?
I also saw a post from a girl who said "I'm a bull in a china shop if you can't deal with my bluntness I'm just weeding out the weak ones." Girl you are tacky and classless you aren't blunt. I am blunt but you have to have a n air of tact and gracefulness about it as to not offend. Just stop. Have some freaking manners for the love of god!
I don't know if this counts technically but I have a friend on Pinterest who pins "my future baby shower" stuff constantly. I have a fear that when she does get KU she will either throw herself a pinterest worthy shower or tell someone else how to plan it.
I love the tacky threads; thank you, frecklesinside! And that was terrible. Reminds me of those awful wedding showers (that I've heard of, but luckily haven't been to) where they have a tupperware party or whatever that kitchen stuff is people sell at parties. Yuck.
Anyway, I have one that isn't nearly as bad, but I can't say even one word about it in real life so I've been sort of dying to get it off my chest.
Last summer, I was one of several hostesses for a baby shower. I signed up to do the invites, which as a paper snob, are totally my thing. Another hostess, who I love and is very type-A, gave some "suggestions" that I completely ignored. The worst was that we put a bookplate and a note in the invitation saying, "Bring a book instead of a card!" I'd never heard of doing that, but it really rubbed me to the wrong way. I've given books as shower gifts before, and it's kind of rude to tell guests what to bring. I told her that, plus what if three people bring the same book, all rendered unreturnable because of the bookplate? She said something like, "Our friends can afford it, it's not a big deal, etc."
So I said no, thanks, and just made the invites the way I wanted them. She offered to help stuff them, and when I said sure, she showed up with the book plates and insert cards that she'd gone ahead and ordered from Etsy. They totally didn't match. And the insert had some dumb poem about bringing books instead of a card. I was really irritated, but at that point I just gave in.
What do you know - I got emails from some of the older guests who were confused about what the poem was asking for. (I just told them to ignore it, haha.) The day of the shower, the MTB opened like 6 doubles and 2 triples of books, which she still has because they each had lovely bookplates personally inscribed by loved ones. SO ANNOYING.
The best part of the story is, this same group of friends is hosting a shower for me in February. I just saw the invitation, and -guess what- that one friend did the same thing for this shower! So all the guests have been told to bring a book instead of a card to my shower. Even worse, I mentioned to a few of them this summer that I didn't like the 'book instead of card' thing, so they know how I feel (which is embarrassing, because normally, I would never have mentioned it in a million years lest they think I'm ungrateful!) I just never considered that the friend who did it the first shower would do it for mine because I basically told her it was tacky this summer.
I love the tacky threads; thank you, frecklesinside! And that was terrible. Reminds me of those awful wedding showers (that I've heard of, but luckily haven't been to) where they have a tupperware party or whatever that kitchen stuff is people sell at parties. Yuck.
Anyway, I have one that isn't nearly as bad, but I can't say even one word about it in real life so I've been sort of dying to get it off my chest.
Last summer, I was one of several hostesses for a baby shower. I signed up to do the invites, which as a paper snob, are totally my thing. Another hostess, who I love and is very type-A, gave some "suggestions" that I completely ignored. The worst was that we put a bookplate and a note in the invitation saying, "Bring a book instead of a card!" I'd never heard of doing that, but it really rubbed me to the wrong way. I've given books as shower gifts before, and it's kind of rude to tell guests what to bring. I told her that, plus what if three people bring the same book, all rendered unreturnable because of the bookplate? She said something like, "Our friends can afford it, it's not a big deal, etc."
So I said no, thanks, and just made the invites the way I wanted them. She offered to help stuff them, and when I said sure, she showed up with the book plates and insert cards that she'd gone ahead and ordered from Etsy. They totally didn't match. And the insert had some dumb poem about bringing books instead of a card. I was really irritated, but at that point I just gave in.
What do you know - I got emails from some of the older guests who were confused about what the poem was asking for. (I just told them to ignore it, haha.) The day of the shower, the MTB opened like 6 doubles and 2 triples of books, which she still has because they each had lovely bookplates personally inscribed by loved ones. SO ANNOYING.
The best part of the story is, this same group of friends is hosting a shower for me in February. I just saw the invitation, and -guess what- that one friend did the same thing for this shower! So all the guests have been told to bring a book instead of a card to my shower. Even worse, I mentioned to a few of them this summer that I didn't like the 'book instead of card' thing, so they know how I feel (which is embarrassing, because normally, I would never have mentioned it in a million years lest they think I'm ungrateful!) I just never considered that the friend who did it the first shower would do it for mine because I basically told her it was tacky this summer.
Ugh.
Ugh, I'd be so upset!! Guests know you aren't planning your shower though, so it is out of your hands/not your fault. I'd still feel so mortified and bad The books as card trend is SO tacky. Sorry your friend is setting it up for your shower.
I love the tacky threads; thank you, frecklesinside! And that was terrible. Reminds me of those awful wedding showers (that I've heard of, but luckily haven't been to) where they have a tupperware party or whatever that kitchen stuff is people sell at parties. Yuck.
Anyway, I have one that isn't nearly as bad, but I can't say even one word about it in real life so I've been sort of dying to get it off my chest.
Last summer, I was one of several hostesses for a baby shower. I signed up to do the invites, which as a paper snob, are totally my thing. Another hostess, who I love and is very type-A, gave some "suggestions" that I completely ignored. The worst was that we put a bookplate and a note in the invitation saying, "Bring a book instead of a card!" I'd never heard of doing that, but it really rubbed me to the wrong way. I've given books as shower gifts before, and it's kind of rude to tell guests what to bring. I told her that, plus what if three people bring the same book, all rendered unreturnable because of the bookplate? She said something like, "Our friends can afford it, it's not a big deal, etc."
So I said no, thanks, and just made the invites the way I wanted them. She offered to help stuff them, and when I said sure, she showed up with the book plates and insert cards that she'd gone ahead and ordered from Etsy. They totally didn't match. And the insert had some dumb poem about bringing books instead of a card. I was really irritated, but at that point I just gave in.
What do you know - I got emails from some of the older guests who were confused about what the poem was asking for. (I just told them to ignore it, haha.) The day of the shower, the MTB opened like 6 doubles and 2 triples of books, which she still has because they each had lovely bookplates personally inscribed by loved ones. SO ANNOYING.
The best part of the story is, this same group of friends is hosting a shower for me in February. I just saw the invitation, and -guess what- that one friend did the same thing for this shower! So all the guests have been told to bring a book instead of a card to my shower. Even worse, I mentioned to a few of them this summer that I didn't like the 'book instead of card' thing, so they know how I feel (which is embarrassing, because normally, I would never have mentioned it in a million years lest they think I'm ungrateful!) I just never considered that the friend who did it the first shower would do it for mine because I basically told her it was tacky this summer.
Ugh.
Oh no!
I agree that the book instead of a card thing can be super tacky, and it sucks that you mentioned that but your friends went with it anyway. If that happened to me, I'm pretty sure the tacky quotient would have gone up 1000%. Because I'd have at least one person come up to me, in front of the shower hostess, and say "Hey, I thought you said the book thing was the dumbest thing ever." My family = 0 tact
Post by snarkysparklefart on Jan 27, 2015 11:29:52 GMT -5
foodislove how horrible for your friend. So sorry her mom is treating her that way
Also, re: books, or diaper parties, or being specifically asked to bring anything specific to a party: I find this super tacky and rude. I co hosted a shower (read: I bought the food because these were a bunch of my girlfriends from college and all were still in college, but I had a job & they couldn't afford it all, so I offered to help) where the 'main host' also asked for books. I complied but only because I was also 'hosting'. I was the only one who brought a book. %annoying
I'm getting a bit tired of being asked when my shower is, because I'm not having one. Apparently people here have zero qualms about second showers. I do, but I'm getting the feeling they think I'm rude for having graciously but politely declined the offers I've gotten. Am I tacky?!
foodislove how horrible for your friend. So sorry her mom is treating her that way
Also, re: books, or diaper parties, or being specifically asked to bring anything specific to a party: I find this super tacky and rude. I co hosted a shower (read: I bought the food because these were a bunch of my girlfriends from college and all were still in college, but I had a job & they couldn't afford it all, so I offered to help) where the 'main host' also asked for books. I complied but only because I was also 'hosting'. I was the only one who brought a book. %annoying
I'm getting a bit tired of being asked when my shower is, because I'm not having one. Apparently people here have zero qualms about second showers. I do, but I'm getting the feeling they think I'm rude for having graciously but politely declined the offers I've gotten. Am I tacky?!
Seconding the zero qualms about second showers deal. There are two other ladies due around my time and all our kids are 3.5 and under. I've already received an invite for one shower and I know the other one's husband is working on throwing her a shower.
I even saw someone mention a "floating baby shower" with an online registry since their friends and family live all over. Aka I'm not even going to entertain you... just buy me gifts. #tacky
Post by snarkysparklefart on Jan 27, 2015 14:41:39 GMT -5
mrsh288- it's not us, it's them, right!? Also huge side eyed wtf to a floating shower.
FTR, I had a pretty big & very generous shower with DD, which is why I felt so strongly about not having one this time. My social circle/ folks who would be invited hasn't changed much- and I still have almost everything I could ever need, except for buying clothing in season, so what would be the point? My SIL, on the other hand, has had a shower for all of her children (3 in 5 years)... I am usually not necessarily the classiest person ever, but this makes even me clutch my pearls.
mrsh288- it's not us, it's them, right!? Also huge side eyed wtf to a floating shower.
FTR, I had a pretty big & very generous shower with DD, which is why I felt so strongly about not having one this time. My social circle/ folks who would be invited hasn't changed much- and I still have almost everything I could ever need, except for buying clothing in season, so what would be the point? My SIL, on the other hand, has had a shower for all of her children (3 in 5 years)... I am usually not necessarily the classiest person ever, but this makes even me clutch my pearls.
We got everything we needed from my first shower and if we want something new or want something pink instead of gender neutral, we just buy it. No one has even asked if we need anything for this baby aside from my mom. I think everyone I know has gotten the no second baby shower memo. When someone has a second, third, etc. baby we typically send a welcome baby gift that is reasonable. Not a baby shower glider, swing, big ticket item. I guess some people will use any excuse to have a party/attention/free stuff though.
(It does make me throw a mini-pity party for a second though, which sounds pathetic. I have no friends here and we live far from family. No one offering, even though I'd politely decline, makes me kind of sad.)
So apparently the mind boggling logic is that no one likes to watch a MTB sit and open a bunch of gifts, especially if it's a larger baby shower. And some MTBs don't like being the center of attention so they don't want to open gifts for 30-45 minutes while everyone stares at them.
Which is total BS. People want to see your reaction when you open the gift they spent time/money on.
What the actual fuck??? Isn't that the point of a fucking shower? This is disgusting. And I can imagine how upsetting it would be to not even have the guest of honor open your gift, especially if hand made! Holy shit this is a new level of rude. I'm totally mind blown!! The guest of honor should take time to stop and appreciate what has been so graciously given to her. How does she even know who to thank? I mean, sure, there can be a list of gifts and people, but nothing like in the moment appreciating what someone has done for you. I'm mortified.
Post by NatashaBromanoff on Jan 28, 2015 3:21:11 GMT -5
So I downloaded The Glow Nuture app after someone recommended it to me. Of course they have a set of forums too and it's your usual group of ladies crying support and hopping on the glitter train. They did a push recently for a poll of who should host your baby shower and opened a discussion to why. Of course people said some tacky shit after most ladies pointed out how gift grabby and tacky it is, but I thought you guys would enjoy this gem:
Someone in a Mom's in Germany group I'm in on facebook posted about hosting her own Skype shower... and then decided that since the time difference is so big (We're 6 hours ahead of EST), she wouldn't do it via skype...she'd just have everyone send her presents, and then take pictures with them after she opened it to double as her thank you card.
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