Haven't been here much

[teenybenoit]

Hi ladies,
I'm sorry I haven't been around much, I have just been pushing all this pregnancy stuff on the back burner. Some part of me feels over it. I packed away the maternity jeans and my thermometer and I haven't been reading every last tidbit of info I can find on why? How? What?
My hubby and I went and did our genetic testing the week we got back from vacation and are going to get results on Thursday. I will also get my clotting test and autoimmune testing at the same time.
I'm scared. I think that the results are going to show no issues and at that point the attempts to try will stop. I just don't think I can go through another miscarriage again.
I don't really know what to think or feel so I have pushed it away from the forefront of my mind and I'm concentrating on school coming up.
I start therapy on Friday. I'm hoping it will give me some clarity and a place to explore my fears.
August 8th would have been my 2nd angels due date so that is hurting me too.
Anyway, I'm here lurking every now and again and I'm always thankful for your lending me your ears.

[fionnathehuman]

Hey there teeny, I've been thinking about u.
I hope you are feeling better...

About your tests, I completely understand...
Mine came all normal and even though its good news, for me it is harder to have closure this way... sight*... it is a scary place, but time will tell. I hope that, whatever your results show, you can have some peace...

I am glad you are looking for help with therapy. I hope you find the clarity you are looking for.

I am sorry about your edd coming up... so many Hugs your way...

Well, take care ladie.
Hugs

[NatalieDavid]

Hi Teeny, I'm glad you have found ways to occupy your time during this confusing part of your life. Sending you big ((hugs)) for your upcoming EDD. I hope you find some peace in whatever your tests results show. It will be a good to have some answers one way or another. I'm sure school will give you lots of other things to focus on. Take care of yourself!

[hollyberry]

teenybenoit, sending you lots of hugs for your upcoming EDD. I am sorry things have been hard, but glad you are going to therapy, I am sure that will be helpful. I completely understand how you feel about getting your tests back, we just got ours back about a month ago. I was also so anxious about no answers and bad answers. We found out that MHs SA came back pretty bad and my thyroid wasnt super, so we are dealing with that and doing a iui this month. Remember with many answers you may get, there will be different options you can do to move forward. ** hugs**

[mosdub]

teenybenoit sending you love. I'm glad you are seeking therapy and hope that it, along with whatever the results may be from your testing, will help you land in a better place.

My EDD was August 30, so this time of year is definitely going to be hard . I too am focusing on school starting back up - that is probably a healthy way to occupy time and wandering minds.

[zimni]

teenybenoit, (((hugs))).
I agree, results good or bad, it doesn't totally ease the pain of the situation. When my genetic results came back messed up, it felt like i got some answers, but with time I realise I still deal with my inability to carry to term and feel sad around my EDDs or see pregnant women all around me, and so many other small triggers...what does make sense in this twisted scheme of things is to try and consciously push it in the background for a while...I hope the school and therapy gives you the space to find your strength and release the fears. Take care!

P.S: I too keep lurking around here, and haven't really made the move to other groups like CAL. It's alright, small steps...

[nikolie93]

Hey sweetie, I haven't been around much lately either but know I think about you and the other ladies here often.

I can understand your anxiety about results of testing showing nothing. It's a special kind of mind fuck because we want nothing to be wrong but want a reason so we can hopefully get it fixed. So many *hugs* for you.

[muscari]

Hey teenybenoit, I too have been thinking of you and it's nice to see you post. I hope that your appointment today for your test results will bring you some answers and that it will be helpful. Seeking therapy to help you with all of this sounds like a great plan and I hope it'll help you tremendously. I am thinking about it myself as wel.. *hugs* Keep us posted if you feel like it!

[teenybenoit]

Thanks guys. Unfortunately the results were not in yet, apparently here it takes 6-8 weeks. My dr gave me the requisition to go get the auto immune testing and clotting tests done and we monitored my cycle this month to check my progesterone when not pregnant.
My hubby and I also met with an adoption practitioner on Tuesday and we are signed up for PRIDE which is a parenting program that is mandatory here, I also intro'd in the adoption and fostering group here. I think we are going to start the home study in September and will get all our results on my biology by then and will start school by then and regular therapy...phew!! That's a lot!!
Hugs guys.