This is the weekly check-in for April moms who have experienced pregnancy loss before this pregnancy. We are sorry you have to be here, but let's get through the next 9 months together. If this if your first check-in, Welcome!
Pregnancy Loss Background (if you're comfortable) Early loss in Aug. '14
How far along are you (weeks/fruit): 7 weeks tomorrow!
How are you feeling physically? Emotionally? Physically I am a mess. I can barely stomach or keep down any food. I spent the entire weekend on the couch, barely able to move, except to pee or puke. I've lost 3-4 lbs in the last week.
Emotionally, I'm also a mess. I feel guilty. I feel like I should be super grateful to be PgAL, but this morning (aka all day and night) sickness is making me feel anything but. I keep saying to myself "I'm so over being pregnant right now. This was a mistake." And then I feel guilty. I told DH that this will be our only bio kid cuz I'm never doing this again.
Upcoming Appointments or Milestones: None
QOTW: Lake or ocean? Lake, for sure! Salt water is nasty, and there are so many dangerous creatures in the ocean!
Post by wittyandwaiting on Aug 17, 2015 7:49:44 GMT -5
Pregnancy Loss Background (if you're comfortable): Ectopic June 2015
Hey jags8, what do you think of keeping this as a list up top so that we're all not typing this out every week?
How far along are you (weeks/fruit): 8 weeks today! I've got a little raspberry!
How are you feeling physically? Tired and pukey. All the puke, all the time. I can't wait to meet with my midwife tomorrow...maybe she'll have some magic tips! C's worried about what I'm eating and keeps trying to feed me things and I don't want them because they make my puke and she wants me to eat them anyways so I am getting a little (very) cranky about that.
Emotionally? I feel pretty good, although it's tough not having an ultrasound this week after having one at 6 weeks and another at 7. Makes my PgAL brain go a little crazy.
Upcoming Appointments or Milestones: Midwife tomorrow and since I'm eight weeks now I get to start using my pregnancy belly stickers today! (http://www.pearhead.com/products/pregnancy-belly-stickers)
QOTW: Lake or ocean? I love the ocean, creatures and all, but I have to go with lake because I don't live near an ocean.
jags8, don't beat yourself up. It's completely normal to feel that way right now. My IRL BFF has HG and has also suffered multiple m/c -- she feels the same frustration / guilt all the way through first tri.
wittyandwaiting, people giving me food ideas when pregnant drives me crazy. If you're not my doctor, get out of my business.
Pregnancy Loss Background (if you're comfortable) Long story, lost our 15 month old James dx with Kabuki Syndrome & HLH in April this year after more than half of his life in the hospital starting with surgery immediately at birth...
How far along are you (weeks/fruit): 5w3d, apple seed.
How are you feeling physically? Emotionally? I am missing J terribly right now. I had things under control before July, but I am crying at completely random moments and everything feels very, very fresh. And I have a lot of fear about upcoming testing. And not making it to testing. I HATE feeling afraid.
Upcoming Appointments or Milestones: September 1. Two weeks.
QOTW: Lake or ocean? Ocean. 100%. Salt, breeze, shells, sand, clear blue water...ah, now I'm on a brain vacation.
jags8 I am right there with you girl! MH actually said to me, I thought you really wanted this? And my response was of course I do, it just sucks! Hang in there girl!
@whittyandwaiting yay belly stickers! I think I'm going to do a chalkboard...idk yet!
heartbot numb is what I have felt a lot too, it's like it's too much emotion to actually feel so it gets pushed aside. I hope that as you progress you're able to feel more of your emotions.
steveo oh man I hope the next two weeks go by fast for you! Lots of hugs to you!
AFM:
Loss background: early miscarriage February '15
How far along: I am 6 weeks 2 days today, sweet pea
Physically: I am so sick...blahhh it's making it hard to function and scaring the shit out of me. I have a new batch of 4th graders headed my way in a matter of 2 weeks now...
Emotionally: I am feeling hopeful. With a nice big dose of scared shitless and super happy. But mostly I feel numb most days...I can't let myself get too close to those feelings yet.
Appointments: ultrasound TODAY! So nervous...it's our first one.
QOTW: I like both I guess, but then again I'm not really a fan of water. I almost drown as a kid and since then I don't really like going in bodies of water. I think they are pretty though.
TI #1: Femera (follies not growing) TI #2: Femera and Follistim (follies not growing) -MC Feb 2015 TI #3: Femera, Follistim and Trigger (BFN) TI #4: Femera, Follistim and Trigger (BFN) TI #5: Femera, Follistim and Trigger BFP!!! Due Date: 4/9/16
Pregnancy Loss Background (if you're comfortable) LC born 11/11. MMC 1/15
How far along are you (weeks/fruit): 6 weeks, 5 days/sweet pea
How are you feeling physically? Emotionally? Physically I'm either starving or nauseous all day, but nothing sounds appetizing. Emotionally I'm very up and down. I just get nervous sometimes and anxious, then other times I'm confident everything will be fine.
Upcoming Appointments or Milestones: LOSS EDD 8/28, first u/s to check for HB is 8/31.
QOTW: Lake or ocean? Ocean, but not necessarily to swim, just to look at.
Post by NatalieDavid on Aug 17, 2015 10:14:30 GMT -5
Loss history: MMC at 12 weeks on May 29th
How far along are you (weeks/fruit): 4 weeks
How are you feeling physically? Emotionally? Emotionally I'm all over the place. I frequently change between hope and sadness. I still can't get more than a squinter and haven't been able to turn a digi yet. It's still early but since I got my first squinter last Wednesday I seriously thought it would be darker by now.
Upcoming Appointments or Milestones: I'll call tomorrow to hopefully get an appointment at 6 weeks.
QOTW: Lake or ocean? Lake, I grew up on a lake and my parents have a private lake behind their house. I was just out there last night!
Post by PiradicalMaid on Aug 17, 2015 11:26:07 GMT -5
jags8 I think it's entirely reasonable to hate being horribly sick. Have you asked your provider about anti-nausea meds at all? I toughed it out the first time, but I will be asking this time around! Totally a personal decision, of course.
wittyandwaiting I would be mad, too! Looking at food I don't want makes me even more sick. If all I can stomach is donuts and cheetoes, so be it!
Post by PiradicalMaid on Aug 17, 2015 11:31:14 GMT -5
Pregnancy Loss Background (if you're comfortable) Loss at 8w this April and CP this July
How far along are you (weeks/fruit): 5w5d, apple seed
How are you feeling physically? Emotionally? Physically, tired and nauseated and hungry but I hate food. Emotionally varies from moment to moment. I've been sad more than I thought I would be. Obviously I knew that getting pregnant wouldn't negate the pain of the losses, but I guess I thought I would be sad less than I actually am. I get scared too. But sometimes I feel really confident everything is fine and excited for the future.
Upcoming Appointments or Milestones: Tomorrow we have our intake for the birth center and next week we have our HB u/s. Can't wait.
QOTW: Lake or ocean? I honestly love both, but I grew up with the lakes, so I'm a lake girl at heart.
Pregnancy Loss Background (if you're comfortable): ectopic in June 2013, m/c at 10w in Jan. 2015, CP in July 2015
How far along are you (weeks/fruit): 4w6d
How are you feeling physically? Emotionally? Physically I'm just a little crampy, my boobs are sore, and I'm pretty tired in the afternoons. Emotionally, I'm still pretty nervous. I'm not sure if that'll go away.
Upcoming Appointments or Milestones: Hopefully my last round of betas will be on Friday, and with any luck, my ultrasound will be scheduled for next week. Then, I hope to get released from my RE. Also, not really a milestone, but I got my lovenox prescription today!
jags8, you are allowed to hate being sick!! Everyone here knows we would all choose whatever we are dealing with over any serious issues, but that doesn't make feeling ill any fun.
Pregnancy Loss Background (if you're comfortable) Loss in January 2015
How far along are you (weeks/fruit): 7w, 1d - blueberry
How are you feeling physically? Emotionally? I feel like shit most of the day. Able to keep food down except on a few extra rough morning, but just....shitty. all.day.long.
Upcoming Appointments or Milestones: ultrasound on Wednesday
QOTW: Lake or ocean? Ocean, hands down - but we grew up going to the shore every summer
jmc11511, hey lady - we've got our timing down with one another - my loss EDD was 8/23, and also MMC in January. Let's have these healthy babies around the same time too, ok?? Will be thinking of you - I imagine the couple days between 8/28 and 8/31 will be emotional ones for you.
jmc11511, hey lady - we've got our timing down with one another - my loss EDD was 8/23, and also MMC in January. Let's have these healthy babies around the same time too, ok?? Will be thinking of you - I imagine the couple days between 8/28 and 8/31 will be emotional ones for you.
My EDD was in August as well (the 12th), and my loss was in January, so I'm right there with you ladies. ((hugs))
jmc11511, hey lady - we've got our timing down with one another - my loss EDD was 8/23, and also MMC in January. Let's have these healthy babies around the same time too, ok?? Will be thinking of you - I imagine the couple days between 8/28 and 8/31 will be emotional ones for you.
My EDD was in August as well (the 12th), and my loss was in January, so I'm right there with you ladies. ((hugs))
TI #1: Femera (follies not growing) TI #2: Femera and Follistim (follies not growing) -MC Feb 2015 TI #3: Femera, Follistim and Trigger (BFN) TI #4: Femera, Follistim and Trigger (BFN) TI #5: Femera, Follistim and Trigger BFP!!! Due Date: 4/9/16
Man, I just can't win! Today I woke up feeling ok, and was easily able to eat a bowl of cereal and a pop tart without the slightest nausea. That's great news, right? Except now all I can think is "Is this a lucky fluke, or do I feel better because I'm losing the baby?" I know it's probably fine, but damn you PgAL brain!
Man, I just can't win! Today I woke up feeling ok, and was easily able to eat a bowl of cereal and a pop tart without the slightest nausea. That's great news, right? Except now all I can think is "Is this a lucky fluke, or do I feel better because I'm losing the baby?" I know it's probably fine, but damn you PgAL brain!
I could post this same thing. I'm laying here wishing I would feel as miserable as I did yesterday...
Man, I just can't win! Today I woke up feeling ok, and was easily able to eat a bowl of cereal and a pop tart without the slightest nausea. That's great news, right? Except now all I can think is "Is this a lucky fluke, or do I feel better because I'm losing the baby?" I know it's probably fine, but damn you PgAL brain!
I could post this same thing. I'm laying here wishing I would feel as miserable as I did yesterday...
I keep comparing how I feel to previous pregnancies. The pregnancy we lost, I felt less sick, BUT the pregnancy with my LO, I felt way more sick.
I'm just trying to tell myself that symptoms don't predict viability and then be thankful for the days I feel a little better. I'm trying, at least!
Post by packerbacker on Aug 18, 2015 15:14:41 GMT -5
MC April 2013, MMC July 2013
Current 5 weeks 5 days
Feeling good physically. I'm afraid that I am feeling too good. I have no symptoms at all which of course makes me think something is wrong with the pregnancy. Emotionally I'm anxious about why I have no symptoms.
I haven't called the OB to schedule an appointment yet. I know he won't want to see me until close to 8 weeks and for some reason I feel like as soon as I call to schedule an appointment I will start bleeding or something. Completely irrational, I know. I should probably call and get an appointment on the calendar before the end of this week.
gooselover2012, Yes, the tech turned the screen and showed me the heartbeat. Also, with my ectopic, the techs I saw all told me they didn't see anything in my ute, so I got the info I needed from them.
When my 10w loss was diagnosed, the tech didn't say anything, and I had to get the official news from the on call OB.
Seriously, the PgAL brain SUCKS. On the one hand I feel bloated and flabby and gross, but not nauseous, so I think "Maybe I just need to work out." Then I suddenly feel nauseous and I think "Oh wait, no, I'm pregnant." I'm super uncomfortable in my regular pants, but feel ridiculous busting out maternity pants this early. I did that last time, and felt so stupid after the loss. 13 more days until the first ultrasound sounds SO. FAR. AWAY.
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