I have a $200 Loft gift card to spend. Plus some birthday cash. Anyone want to help my figure out what people who don't live in yoga pants are going to be wearing this fall?? Are we really back to boot cut jeans? I don't know where to start! Real clothes are hard.
I never left bootcut jeans. But I could be an anomaly.
If that's true I will rejoice. Skinny jeans never worked for me.
I have a $200 Loft gift card to spend. Plus some birthday cash. Anyone want to help my figure out what people who don't live in yoga pants are going to be wearing this fall?? Are we really back to boot cut jeans? I don't know where to start! Real clothes are hard.
I feel like I should apologize for the boot cut. After conversations here, I decided to try some skinnies, so of course boot is back in after spending a small fortune on new jeans.
I'm such a dress person post-kid, though I'm not finding anything I love in that department on Loft right now.
I need some advice, and maybe just to vent a little.
I've talked about this friend before. She's the one who came to visit the day we got home from the hospital, stayed forever, and my husband had to go pick up dinner for everyone. We became friends in about 2006 or 2007 when we were involved in campus ministry, along with H and another awesome friend of ours (who we see at least once a week, he's Miss A's godfather, and he lives 5 minutes away) and had that in common. We were great friends for a while but have drifted apart and now she lives 4 hours away.
The real kicker was when she came to visit for the weekend when Miss A was 5 months old. I was dealing with the sleep regression from hell, working full time on my internship, and taking a grad class. The whole time she didn't help with anything, took a couple of naps, and talked about how busy her life is. I was irate. When I miscarried 3 years ago, H called her to tell her and then she never reached out to me. I never quite got over that.
It just seems that we don't have anything in common anymore. There aren't many hobbies we can talk about. She just went out on a 4th date with a guy and has only gone out on a small handful of dates since I've known her, so we can't talk about relationships. Our jobs are very different. My life is so different now and I've even said I'm glad she lives 4 hours away because she would drive me crazy living here. She is one of Miss A's godparents and I'm not sure how to handle it for the next one. I know that when she comes to visit and we have two kids she's going to piss me off really bad.
Sorry this is long. I just needed to explain. Am I being a jerk here? I'd like to just let things run their course but she isn't going to let go easily.
I am pretending that only PBS has kids shows as long as I can.
Peg+Cat forever!
Yes, but Peg + Chat!
Seriously though, get the kids into some Spanish or French language TV. It is so much easier to ignore the annoying stuff when you have no idea what they are saying
Gia's a Disney Jr kid, she LOVES the singing. I don't think she has a favorite yet. I don't mind the shows. The only one I find seriously annoying is Kate and Mim Mim. Yech. DH doesn't like Sheriff Callie.
sctiger I'd flat out tell her you aren't up to visitors when #2 comes. You don't need to be catering to someone, you'll have enough on your plate already! I'd let her go, it sounds like you've just grown apart. If you do decide to let her visit I'd make sure some rules are set up in advance and she knows how long she can stay etc.
sctiger not a jerk, just in different places. One of my long time friends and I have drifted apart. It sucks and it took DH telling me she's not worth it (I was the one putting in the effort and still only seeing her once a year).
Being alone for the week is rough. Make sure you don't beat yourself up for missing them on top of it. Your family is off having fun without you! Well in theory, I'm sure your DH will get the hang of solo parenting soon. Do lots of nice stuff for yourself this week.
Now if you are complaining in 10 years about sending your kid off to summer camp like my SIL, then we'll have to have a talk.
Post by musicalsilver on Aug 24, 2015 10:14:06 GMT -5
I agree with kames and ciahanna sctiger - you're not being a jerk, you've just grown apart which is normal. I'd certainly play the not up for visitors card until you're ready to deal with her brand of nonsense if she really insists on visiting. Otherwise just let things slide. Does she reach out to you much?
We gave LO an iPad a little over a week ago. He's discovered the PBS Kids app and that's all he wants to do anymore. Mostly Curious George-centric. He's not very good with mastering the controls yet so he winds up watching any number of weird things. I'm hoping the novelty of the iPad wears off soon. I mean, I appreciate the quiet time it buys me, but he has so many other things he could be doing!
I officially retired the little floor potty this weekend. Seems to be working okay so far - we'll see if the "success" persists. Mostly I think he's bummed that this means considerably less reading goes on on the potty, but I'm really wanting him to just do his business and carry on with his day. Little one is growing up so fast!
Just sent the email to my MIL stating that I'm not making any more chocolate covered graham crackers. I did give her instruction on what she needs to make them herself. I held back from putting in a snippy one liner about how she's retired and has all the time in the world.
She, M, emails in spurts. The difficult thing is that she, our other friend (I'll call him A, and now he has a serious girlfriend P soon to be fiancee I'm sure),and I were all good friends and did a lot together. My friend always thought we had to do everything together. H and I hang out with A and P all the time and would prefer that just they be the godparents. They feel the same way about M, very little contact with her, and drifting apart and M doesn't quite see that. If M and I were in the same city, I would not at all be drawn to her circle of friends and if she lived here she wouldn't fit in with mine.
sctiger I think it's natural for a lot of friendships to drift apart when you're in different stages in life. If she had been a really good and close friend, I'd probably have a conversation at some point about all the things that are (legitimately!) bugging you. But I don't think I'd do that in this case. What would she do if you just told her you weren't up for houseguests next few times she asked to come visit?
I'm really not sure. She always wants to plan weekends where we all get together and hang out, but it's awkward because 4 of us are together all the time and she's not a part of it and it's really starting to be obvious. When she comes to visit she's been quiet lately and I wonder if the distance is bothering her too.
I wondered if she's scaling the crib, she's could also get over the gate. Sounds like adding a simple bolt or hook & eye lock up high would be the easiest way to lock any doors you don't want her getting into or out of. Probably a worthwhile investment for the office with 2 LOs.
Agreed! But I have metal door frames so I have to figure out how to do that. I don't know if I can just drill into the metal to install a latch, or what.
Post by stargazer763 on Aug 24, 2015 10:38:38 GMT -5
sctiger I had to go back and re-read your initial post. I'm pretty sure that there is a jerk in that story, and it's not you.
What I can't figure our is why she would raise a fuss about being left out, when it doesn't seem like she respects you at all. Maybe I just need some more coffee, but I don't get it.
She seems to have done more than enough for you to want some distance.
sctiger As for the godparents part, it's very common in my family/friends to pick different godparents for each child.
(and godparents don't have to be the guardians you name in a will either).
DH and I just need to talk about it. If we ask A and P only, that's pretty much going to be the end of everyone's friendship with her. I don't know if I want to ask just to keep the peace or if I'm ready to just be done.
sctiger she might be feeling really left out. Yes she is in a different stage then you. Let be realistic too most people without kids don't know how to help out. Some people aren't maternal until they have kids.
I'm only saying this cause I am left out friend with my two other best friends. I'm the only one married and with kids. They are both single and live in the same city. The never contact me and I don't have much in common with them. They very rarely try to understand my life as a parent. And it's hard for me to see the photos and hear about how great of a time they are having together without contacting me. Makes me seem like I am not missed or wanted to be there.
As for the the loss aspect of it. It could be that she didn't want to say or do the wrong thing so she did nothing. When I had my loss no one reached out to me cause they didn't understand what it was like. The only person that I've talked to about this was a friend that also had a loss because she could relate.
Just playing devils advocate and a little antidote.
But in the end do whatever makes you happy and be confident in your choice
Good morning all! Or afternoon for most of you I guess
We had a super busy weekend and I completely lost track of spam, so hugs to all who need them and I hope everyone is doing well.
We regressed a bit on the potty training because we were so busy so it looks like I'll be pushing that a little harder today than I was. Our weekend was fun though. We had a low key night on Friday (as in, H and I drank wine and put the kids to bed early) and then Saturday I got my hair cut and we had a bunch of friends over for pizza and card games. My house was a mess after because we all have kids and they tore the place up. So we spent Sunday cleaning all that up. Then we watched football because the Packers were playing the Steelers and those are our teams. I had to watch Nelson get hurt and that sucked. I hope that doesn't hurt our chances for the Super Bowl this year!
Thanks so much everyone. I think that mentally and emotionally I'm just checked out and done. I don't know what I'm going to do exactly, but getting it out and talking about it helps.
Good morning all! Or afternoon for most of you I guess
We had a super busy weekend and I completely lost track of spam, so hugs to all who need them and I hope everyone is doing well.
We regressed a bit on the potty training because we were so busy so it looks like I'll be pushing that a little harder today than I was. Our weekend was fun though. We had a low key night on Friday (as in, H and I drank wine and put the kids to bed early) and then Saturday I got my hair cut and we had a bunch of friends over for pizza and card games. My house was a mess after because we all have kids and they tore the place up. So we spent Sunday cleaning all that up. Then we watched football because the Packers were playing the Steelers and those are our teams. I had to watch Nelson get hurt and that sucked. I hope that doesn't hurt our chances for the Super Bowl this year!
I know! My mom was all happy that the Steelers won, and I had to tell her nope, that's not what's important. I told DH that our teams should never play each other. My team lost our star center, and his team lost Nelson.
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.