Letter from Prison

[becwheat]

Every Christmas and Birthday my X sends my DD a card. Every time I open it to see what it says then I put it in a box/drawer for her to have when she is older and better able to understand the situation. They usually just say "Happy Birthday! I am thinking of you... miss you" etc

Seeing as how he has had no direct contact with her since she was 4 months old, he does not know her. She knows she has a bio-father that is in prison for doing bad thing to children... but that is all she cares to know and all that is appropriate at this time.

Long story short he sent a letter in his latest card. He used the word "dad" several times and underlined it. e also said "Nobody in this world loves you more than I do."

Fuck you. If you really loved her you would bow out and sign over your rights. Any attempt of involvement on his end will end up hurting DD emotionally and possibly worse. His crimes should not have a chance to be associated with her.

Ugh I hate him. I really wish he would leave us alone forever.

[freezorburn]

I am so sorry. I think anyone would be upset under the circumstances.

Do you write letters to DD that she can read in the future? I know that you are with her every day, and obviously you plan to be available to her for a long time. Also it sounds like you have also worked very hard to build up a support system for both of you and to get to a good place. But just as you would set up insurance and make provisions for her care if something were to happen to you, maybe you can start writing to her about what happened and how your own ongoing journey is. I've read a bit of your blog and maybe just making sure that it is safely archived. And then you can decide later if it is something you want to share with her or not -- specifically the perspective of the present moment, rather than the perspective you will have years from now, when you feel she has the maturity to process it.

Also I wonder if he is aware of the latest developments in your life and feels threatened. Maybe that's what's behind the letter.

Ugh. I'm sorry he won't just go away.

[becwheat]

Sept 16, 2015 12:46:43 GMT -5 freezorburn said:

I am so sorry. I think anyone would be upset under the circumstances.

Do you write letters to DD that she can read in the future? I know that you are with her every day, and obviously you plan to be available to her for a long time. Also it sounds like you have also worked very hard to build up a support system for both of you and to get to a good place. But just as you would set up insurance and make provisions for her care if something were to happen to you, maybe you can start writing to her about what happened and how your own ongoing journey is. I've read a bit of your blog and maybe just making sure that it is safely archived. And then you can decide later if it is something you want to share with her or not -- specifically the perspective of the present moment, rather than the perspective you will have years from now, when you feel she has the maturity to process it.

Also I wonder if he is aware of the latest developments in your life and feels threatened. Maybe that's what's behind the letter.

Ugh. I'm sorry he won't just go away.

Oh this was most certainly a response to knowing I got remarried and DD has a dad in her life. He is a control freak and anything that makes him feel out of control sends him over the edge. He still needs to back the eff off. Seriously the only way I would ever have a shred of respect for this man is if he signed over his rights.

I have my blog saved and archived for her. I also have a packet made up in case I am gone. It has the court papers detailing his crimes and a letter from me with the blog pages I want her to read.

[lolo918]

I'm really sorry, becwheat. I can only imagine how tough it is having to open the cards, then to see this letter this time.

[angelsnight]

I'm pretty new to this board, but I just read your entry on your blog about what happened. I am so sorry you had to endure that, I cannot even imagine. Just wanted to send some hugs.

[jennaleigh23]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. What a selfish ass! I don't know the details of your story but is it possible to get a restraining order against him based on his crimes?

[becwheat]

Oct 2, 2015 21:32:21 GMT -5 jennaleigh23 said:

I'm so sorry you are going through this. What a selfish ass! I don't know the details of your story but is it possible to get a restraining order against him based on his crimes?

No. He has made no direct threats to me and his letters are too infrequent to be harassment.

Also, he has the right to write to my daughter because I cannot terminate his parental rights.

PS: here is a link to my blog post about what happened in 2010.