Just wait until...

[pearlvirus]

I remember clearly how annoying it was hearing "just wait until...(whatever)" from STM+ upon hearing my FTM optimism / naivety. But now that I'm on the flip side and cooking #2 I want to say that stuff so bad. On the new BMB and friends, FTMs are all, this baby isn't going to slow me down one bit, I'm going to travel the world and be the boss of my job and make all organic food, use only cloth diaper, make homemade etsy cutsie shit for everything. And I just shake my head. Sure you can do some of that, but all? Is it just me or is "you can have it all" kind of a depressing myth? Why do we tell women that? Wouldn't it be more helpful to teach people to expect that caring for an infant / small child is huge work and doing well at it means skipping some other things. And is there anyway a FTM is not going to just blow that comment off? I don't know, I just feel like maybe the transition would be a little easier with lower expectations.

[lakecountrygal]

I feel the same way!!

[fishbulb]

I'm with you. And if you can't do all of those things you end up feeling like you're failing your kid. We should embrace realistic goals, which I definitely will be doing this time around.

[Deleted]

Umm, I cloth diaper, made my own baby food, and do tons of Pinterest projects with DD. Honestly, I took to having DD around super easy. It wasn't an adjustment at all.

However, my situation is somewhat unique/different. DS is my first but he was 12 when I had DD. The huge gap makes it feel like DD is also my first. I can't remember half the stuff I did with DS and all the recommendations have changed anyways. So it was like starting from scratch.

I think it can be done you just need to have good time management. My time is split between my 2, soon to be 3, kids bc I homeschool DS. My days can be hectic and crazy but I make it all work.

I'm also the type of person that doesn't listen when others try to tell me I can't do something bc they don't really know anything about my personal drive and abilities. Everyone is different. Things can be difficult for some and easier for others.

[zandeela]

I just think about what I said I would never do, but catch myself doing it, or realize it is the best way. To each their own but I age with the high expectations. You have to learn to be flexible

[Deleted]

Your welcome

[babycaps]

I have to somewhat, or a lot, agree with @babylentilbean. Sure, I had some unrealistic expectations. But I did well with the adjustment. We make our food, have never bought a jar of baby food. We tried to cloth diaper, but ultimately, with our work schedules and the type of place where we live (smaller condo, laundry too close to DS's room so the noise wakes him up), it didn't work out. So I adjusted expectations. I am also the kind of person who lives by my "own agenda". I don't need other people to set up or let down my own expectations. Sure, things were as seamless as I HOPED they would be, but I adjusted and I went with the flow.
LO has now been out of the country twice, out of the state by plane 8 times and out of the state by care so many times I've lost count. We still travel! DH and I still have a phenomenal relationship, we still go out on dates. I'm not a crafty person, but I do take LO to swimming and other activities. We still live in the city, we still have no plans to move away.
This is why I try to not use the words "just you wait". I simply say, "go with what you feel will be best and be flexible with yourself and your baby".
I wouldn't say "I have it all" but I'm very happy with what I have and in no way feel like I have failed my child because everything didn't go exactly how I thought it would.

[sanibel21]

I never said "never" anything. And I didn't have grandiose expectations of what I could still do with a LO. And I'm still like WTF happened to my life? I do a lot like make my own food, but I still feel like I'm just surviving a perpetual tornado to my life, haha.
And I have some mom friends of younger LOs and I catch myself wanting to say "just you wait" but I don't because I remember how freaking annoying it was to hear.

[newmomma8]

I'm a lot more relaxed on things I didn't think I'd be. I know this may be a FFFC, but I know a lot of you still haven't introduced juice yet. Well, my kid knows what Sprite or as she calls it "pite" is. She gets maybe 1 sip when I drink one and that's usually MAYBE 1 sprite a day for me, but yeah, I said my kid wouldn't have anything other than milk and water for 2 years and that's out the window,...

I think I still do a lot of what I thought I could do, but granted, there are a lot of things I pass on because of her age right now. But when I wake up at 5am to get ready, drop her off at daycare then won't pick her up/get home until 5:30pm, I cook dinner, wash a load of clothes, do the dishes, pick up the living room, bathe her, then wash the pots from cooking, so by then it's 8pm,...I don't have much time for anything else. Being pregnant, I go to bed at 9, it is what it is. So I don't think I'm skipping anything because I honestly don't have time for anything else.

[Deleted]

I quit "going out" years ago. I go out with friends (kid free) on occasion but not weekly. I think I have just reached that point in life where I don't need to be hanging out all over town to have fun or feel like I'm still living my life.

My life is my H and kids and I like it like that. I feel weird when I'm away from home without my kids bc they are with me all the time.

I still haven't been away from DD for more than 4 hours. I'm worried about leaving her while I'm at the hospital in labor. Once the baby is born I will be sending DH home to check on her. Then he and I will be headed home from the hospital asap bc I will be missing her way too much!

[pearlvirus]

Maybe the difficulty of transitioning has a lot to do with your personality (and the personality of your baby). Mine and DD1 were not a good match. She was (is) super high needs: lots of crying / reflux / hated the car seat / never slept / etc. And I love to be on the move and do things but taking her places always felt like a disaster, so I'd give up, but then I'd get stir crazy and try again, repeat repeat repeat. Honestly I am finding toddler WAY easier than infant. Sure she is busy and opinionated, but that is so worth it in exchange for her being mainly happy and interested in doing things.

And as for going out, that's not really me either. It's more a conflict of general life fulfillment. I worked really hard at my career and getting an MS, so now I am struggling with SAH. I know DD and DH appreciate home cooked meals and that I can get most house chores / errands done during the week so evenings and weekends can be for fun things, but sometimes I'm folding the 5th load of laundry and I'm like, I went to school, why? No matter how I try I can't make home making enough for me. I guess that is mainly off topic, but one of my major misconceptions going into child rearing is that I would find contentment.

[newmomma8]

I'm in the non going out group too. I do however like to have a sitter every now and then so DH and I can relax and have some drinks with friends while cooking at the house or something like that. But when we have her with us, we just don't have as many drinks and it's still not a problem.

But we are more of the types that like to hang out at friends houses, cook, drink and watch football or whatever. So it's not hard for us not to miss going out.

[Deleted]

I guess I was made to be home. I don't mind being at home with my kids and doing household chores. I also homeschool DS so my day isn't completely empty. I got my masters and don't feel like I wasted my time with that either. I can always teach online from home with my degree which works great with my lifestyle.