UO....caution I'm starting with a hot topic

[lrobi13]

Time for your Unpopular Opinions. I'm coming in hot this morning and am putting my big girl panties and flame retardant suit on!

[kaylajade]

*waits patiently*

[sg77]

Ok. Shoot

[yella726]

The anticipation is killing me...

[cocohkn]

So curious

[famousea]

Well?

[mrscjmb]

lrobi13 Don't leaving us hanging, notch!

[lindzoid]

You've got our interest.....

[lrobi13]

So the news recently about the football players sexually assaulting the girl have been making me so angry.

*****Disclaimer*****

I don't believe that wearing revealing outfits or flirting is "asking for it". I am all for not blaming the victim

*********************

BUT

These girls that are getting so drunk and high (by choice, not being drugged without knowing it) to not even know that they are being assaulted hurts my heart to the core. Women need to not put themselves in harms way like that.

Stuff like this always remind me of the Natalie Halloway case. She should have never gone off alone with a perfect stranger in a foreign country.

We talk about protecting our identity through the internet and joke about "stranger danger" but it is a real thing and people should make sure they are being vigilant about their person.

I understand that the girl in the recent story was causally dating one of those guys so she thought she could trust him and his friends and it is disgusting what happen to her. But at some point girls need to be told that stuff like this can happen to you if you binge drink yourself into oblivion.

Don't get me wrong. I was the queen of binge drinking in my day but I always had some type of awareness (and I was a bitch to boot) and I would have know if people had taken turns with me.

Again I am not blaming her and they should have not touched her but this should be a lesson to all women that we need to be a bit more careful.

[kaylajade]

In a way I do actually agree. I do not think that girls are 'asking for it' as you said.
However, todays society is not safe by any means. With the use of social media, people can find a lot out about you and that isn't just those you would like to see it. It spreads into every day life, people end up knowing things about you, then you must be careful about who you trust.
It is very sad, but I do believe you shouldn't put yourself in a situation where it is easy for the awful things occurring to happen to you.

Again it is not the fault of the victim, but maybe we all need to be a little more vigilant.

[happyin14]

My first UO!

I think it's two different issues in a way. Her behavior is inappropriate (and illegal? I haven't been following) and ALSO their behavior is illegal - if true. I feel the same way about a young girl who gets too drunk and gets mugged. Yes, don't get so drunk that you dint notice the weird guy on the subway.

But as long as you hold the girl in both circumstances equally "responsible", I think that's fair.

It's just all a fine line... Would you do drugs with someone you trusted? And then what if they then take advantage?

ETA: Also- it's the group thing that is really problematic. Why do I think it wouldn't have happened one on one?

[dorothyzbornak97]

While I 100% agree that we all should be more careful and vigilant about our safety, I also think that just because you make a poor choice, that doesn't mean it's OK for someone to take advantage. Yes, we have to have responsibility for ourselves, but the responsibility/blame for a crime should always fall squarely on the perpetrator, and not the victim. No man should ever think it's OK to take advantage of a woman because she is intoxicated. Period.

But is it a lesson to be more careful? Sure.

[kaylajade]

Jan 29, 2015 10:00:31 GMT -5 happyin14 said:

My first UO!

I think it's two different issues in a way. Her behavior is inappropriate (and illegal? I haven't been following) and ALSO their behavior is illegal - if true. I feel the same way about a young girl who gets too drunk and gets mugged. Yes, don't get so drunk that you dint notice the weird guy on the subway.

But as long as you hold the girl in both circumstances equally "responsible", I think that's fair.

It's just all a fine line... Would you do drugs with someone you trusted? And then what if they then take advantage?

ETA: Also- it's the group thing that is really problematic. Why do I think it wouldn't have happened one on one?

As you said, it is a fine line.

Do you trust them because you have known them for 15 years? Or do you trust them because they seem genuine? Both would get a different reaction if someone took advantage in those situations.

edit: spelling.

[happyin14]

Jan 29, 2015 10:02:11 GMT -5 dorothyzbornak97 said:

While I 100% agree that we all should be more careful and vigilant about our safety, I also think that just because you make a poor choice, that doesn't mean it's OK for someone to take advantage. Yes, we have to have responsibility for ourselves, but the responsibility/blame for a crime should always fall squarely on the perpetrator, and not the victim. No man should ever think it's OK to take advantage of a woman because she is intoxicated. Period.

But is it a lesson to be more careful? Sure.

I like it said this way better. So this.

[lrobi13]

I truly do feel awful for the girl. No one should touch you without your expressed permission. But everyone one involved in this situation has stated in court that they were too drunk to remember what happened.

The girl was informed by the police that she had been assaulted.

Watching how many lives one night of excessive drinking ruined it terrible.

[kaylajade]

I once had the date rape drug slipped in my drink on a night out. Nothing happened to me, because I was very lucky that my friends noticed I wasn't right and got me out and to a hospital (thinking it could have been anything wrong with me)

No it would not have been my fault if anything HAD happened. But I made damn sure from that moment on, I bought all my own drinks and never let them out of my sight. I also used those bottle spiking protector things.

[dorothyzbornak97]

Jan 29, 2015 10:09:23 GMT -5 lrobi13 said:

I truly do feel awful for the girl. No one should touch you without your expressed permission. But everyone one involved in this situation has stated in court that they were too drunk to remember what happened.

The girl was informed by the police that she had been assaulted.

Watching how many lives one night of excessive drinking ruined it terrible.

Can I be honest? I don't believe those guys were too drunk to remember what happened. I think it's one thing to pass out and have something happen to you while you're unconscious, but I have a hard time believing a man could have sex with a woman and legitimately not remember it. And not just one, but two men? Maybe it's possible, but it just sounds a little far-fetched to me.

Plus, didn't someone tape what happened? There has to be some level of consciousness going on for that to happen.

[boogiebean]

Nothing can justify assault. There is never anything a person could do to deserve it. But I do think that you should avoid putting yourself in situations (like drinking in excess) that could be dangerous.

[sg77]

My problem with people accusing profession athletes or any person in the public eye is that many of them are trying to take advantage of their fame and money. If the situation was really as bad as what she is claiming than that's awful and the player should be out of the league and in jail. But did she get high and then seduce him and call it rape?

Same with the whole Bill Cosby thing. I believe that at least one of those girls is telling the truth but I would say half of them are trying to get their 10 minutes of fame and some cash.

[pnwlover12]

I totally think Bill Cosby is a fucking scum bag rapist.

[kaylajade]

What about that case where an English girl went on a holiday and bar crawl. She got caught up in a sex competition of sorts and ended up giving oral sex to 27 different men in the club. She claimed she was too drunk to know what she was doing. This was public, in front of everyone. They obviously took advantage of a very drunk girl and no one stopped her, but should she take some responsibility as she chose to join in?

[lrobi13]

The Bill Cosby thing makes me sad. When stories about people who have a "good guy persona" being a bad guy it is a real mind fuck.

@dorothybzornak97 I know you are right about some awareness on their parts due to the filming and the actual showing the footage to others. That is how the police found out about it if I'm not mistaken.

But several years ago with Kobe Bryant and that young girl. Did he rape her? It is such a shady area.

[sg77]

I do too, but if he really raped over 25 women. More of them would've said something about it before now. I really think some of them are jumping on the bandwagon

[lrobi13]

Jan 29, 2015 10:31:32 GMT -5 kaylajade said:

What about that case where an English girl went on a holiday and bar crawl. She got caught up in a sex competition of sorts and ended up giving oral sex to 27 different men in the club. She claimed she was too drunk to know what she was doing. This was public, in front of everyone. They obviously took advantage of a very drunk girl and no one stopped her, but should she take some responsibility as she chose to join in?

Geesh, I hadn't hear about this one. Where were her friends? I can't imagine blowing 27 men would ever be something you wouldn't know you were doing. Unless, she didn't realize that it was different men and she was giving the longest blow job in history. Man that is messed up. Drunk or not somebody should have stopped it.

[yella726]

Jan 29, 2015 10:06:45 GMT -5 happyin14 said:

Jan 29, 2015 10:02:11 GMT -5 dorothyzbornak97 said:

While I 100% agree that we all should be more careful and vigilant about our safety, I also think that just because you make a poor choice, that doesn't mean it's OK for someone to take advantage. Yes, we have to have responsibility for ourselves, but the responsibility/blame for a crime should always fall squarely on the perpetrator, and not the victim. No man should ever think it's OK to take advantage of a woman because she is intoxicated. Period.

But is it a lesson to be more careful? Sure.

I like it said this way better. So this.

All of this. As a woman, I've unfortunately grown up knowing to always be aware of my surroundings because, well, shit happens. I remember walking on the boardwalk with DH and telling him that I was making a mental note of some shady creatures that passed us. He couldn't understand why, so I explained that it is something that is just ingrained in me.

[kaylajade]

Jan 29, 2015 10:35:37 GMT -5 lrobi13 said:

Jan 29, 2015 10:31:32 GMT -5 kaylajade said:

What about that case where an English girl went on a holiday and bar crawl. She got caught up in a sex competition of sorts and ended up giving oral sex to 27 different men in the club. She claimed she was too drunk to know what she was doing. This was public, in front of everyone. They obviously took advantage of a very drunk girl and no one stopped her, but should she take some responsibility as she chose to join in?

Geesh, I hadn't hear about this one. Where were her friends? I can't imagine blowing 27 men would ever be something you wouldn't know you were doing. Unless, she didn't realize that it was different men and she was giving the longest blow job in history. Man that is messed up. Drunk or not somebody should have stopped it.

It was on the news here because someone filmed it and posted it online. Her friends were in the club with her I believe. They were talking about how it happens a lot on bar crawls in holiday resorts, but its usually kept quiet.

[dorothyzbornak97]

Jan 29, 2015 10:31:07 GMT -5 pnwlover12 said:

I totally think Bill Cosby is a fucking scum bag rapist.

THIS.

[dorothyzbornak97]

Jan 29, 2015 10:32:57 GMT -5 sg77 said:

I do too, but if he really raped over 25 women. More of them would've said something about it before now. I really think some of them are jumping on the bandwagon

Actually, a lot of women have said something before now. This is not new. He's settled privately with multiple women over the years. 

Honestly, if you're a young woman with little or no money or power and you get raped by America's favorite dad, who is filthy rich and able to hire the best legal team money can buy, would you go after him? I mean, let's be honest, our society and justice system puts most of the burden of proof on rape victims, not those accused of the crime. 

[pnwlover12]

Jan 29, 2015 10:43:49 GMT -5 dorothyzbornak97 said:

Jan 29, 2015 10:32:57 GMT -5 sg77 said:

I do too, but if he really raped over 25 women. More of them would've said something about it before now. I really think some of them are jumping on the bandwagon

Actually, a lot of women have said something before now. This is not new. He's settled privately with multiple women over the years. 

Honestly, if you're a young woman with little or no money or power and you get raped by America's favorite dad, who is filthy rich and able to hire the best legal team money can buy, would you go after him? I mean, let's be honest, our society and justice system puts most of the burden of proof on rape victims, not those accused of the crime. 

Exactly this.

And just the way he responds to it, with annoyance, instead of disbelief and genuine concern, is a dead giveaway to me.

Keep your dick to yourself Cos.
I wish his wife would leave him.

[cnj]

I don't think Tom Hiddleston is at all attractive.