Post by ArgyleEnigma on Nov 5, 2015 15:04:13 GMT -5
UO: I could never, ever wish for multiples.
My work brings me into contact with children with disabilities, as well as those at high risk because they are born preterm, with very low birth weights. Think 2 pounds. And so, so many of them are multiples. I know this biases me, because I don't see the twins who go to term or near there, but seeing these babies struggle in the NICU and beyond has left a huge impression on me.
To the point where when I see something like that viral gender reveal video for triplets, I was just stunned at the attitude of these people. They were acting like it was, I dunno, three for the price of one or something. Triple blessing-- which we all hope it will be, but yikes, there's a lot of very real risk. The *average* gestational age of triplets is 32 weeks.
My work brings me into contact with children with disabilities, as well as those at high risk because they are born preterm, with very low birth weights. Think 2 pounds. And so, so many of them are multiples. I know this biases me, because I don't see the twins who go to term or near there, but seeing these babies struggle in the NICU and beyond has left a huge impression on me.
To the point where when I see something like that viral gender reveal video for triplets, I was just stunned at the attitude of these people. They were acting like it was, I dunno, three for the price of one or something. Triple blessing-- which we all hope it will be, but yikes, there's a lot of very real risk. The *average* gestational age of triplets is 32 weeks.
My work brings me into contact with children with disabilities, as well as those at high risk because they are born preterm, with very low birth weights. Think 2 pounds. And so, so many of them are multiples. I know this biases me, because I don't see the twins who go to term or near there, but seeing these babies struggle in the NICU and beyond has left a huge impression on me.
To the point where when I see something like that viral gender reveal video for triplets, I was just stunned at the attitude of these people. They were acting like it was, I dunno, three for the price of one or something. Triple blessing-- which we all hope it will be, but yikes, there's a lot of very real risk. The *average* gestational age of triplets is 32 weeks.
I'm a twin and I was 7 lb 15 oz. at 38 weeks! My sis was 5 pounds 8 oz, but she has DS and was also smaller because of that, still a decent weight.
My twin nieces were born at 38 weeks too. Both were in the 6 pound range- one being just a tiny bit smaller than the other. They went to the NICU for an hour or so and that was it. They were in the hospital for five days after birth, but that was because my sister's blood pressure went crazy.
UO: I hate gender reveal parties. You're not the first one to have a baby, stop acting like it. And there's only two choices, for fucks sake. I'll attend a gender reveal party when they call it by the right name: a "sex reveal party" (not likely at least in my conservative town) or when there's a question of whether you are carrying a velociraptor or kitten instead of the usual choices.
(My hatred of gender reveal parties is probably totally due to IF/Pgal brain, and just as I recognize that the world does not revolve around these Pin-stagram couples who think they are the first couple to have a baby, I also recognize that I am not the last person to have a baby or the person with the worst sob story. Still hate this shit though.)
virginiaorjohn I completely agree! Although, I do think there is a big difference between a small reveal at a family dinner and a huge party thrown for the only purpose of revealing which genitals your kid has.
virginiaorjohn I completely agree! Although, I do think there is a big difference between a small reveal at a family dinner and a huge party thrown for the only purpose of revealing which genitals your kid has.
Agreed. If you're not throwing a separate party for it, I'm probably not enraged. I just can't understand the need for props, though! That seriously makes me batty
Although: the person who releases a box full of PENIS-shaped balloons, now that is the sex-reveal party I want to attend!!
UO: I hate gender reveal parties. You're not the first one to have a baby, stop acting like it. And there's only two choices, for fucks sake. I'll attend a gender reveal party when they call it by the right name: a "sex reveal party" (not likely at least in my conservative town) or when there's a question of whether you are carrying a velociraptor or kitten instead of the usual choices.
(My hatred of gender reveal parties is probably totally due to IF/Pgal brain, and just as I recognize that the world does not revolve around these Pin-stagram couples who think they are the first couple to have a baby, I also recognize that I am not the last person to have a baby or the person with the worst sob story. Still hate this shit though.)
Post by frecklesnbrains on Nov 6, 2015 7:54:28 GMT -5
I had never even HEARD of gender reveal parties until I started following pregnancy forums. I have lived 38 years and know countless people including family and close friends who have had babies. And not a single one of them has had one of these "parties". I think I can go on living this way...
Agree with everything virginiaorjohn said. To take it a step further, I don't understand why announcing a pregnancy has to be a big, cutesy announcement either. When I found out all 3 times, I called DH into the bathroom to look at the pee stick. Then we called our immediate family and told them. To each their own, but I don't understand the need to make some big, dramatic announcement.
Agree with everything virginiaorjohn said. To take it a step further, I don't understand why announcing a pregnancy has to be a big, cutesy announcement either. When I found out all 3 times, I called DH into the bathroom to look at the pee stick. Then we called our immediate family and told them. To each their own, but I don't understand the need to make some big, dramatic announcement.
Agreed, granted I did do a cutesy announcement at 13 weeks with DS. But I was naive and stupid. I didn't know about the pain of infertility or loss, then. I think we'll wait to mention it on social media until after 20 weeks, and even then, I want to think of something to say that mentions a rainbow baby, or those struggling with IF....not sure yet. I've seen a few people do it really nicely.
Agree with everything virginiaorjohn said. To take it a step further, I don't understand why announcing a pregnancy has to be a big, cutesy announcement either. When I found out all 3 times, I called DH into the bathroom to look at the pee stick. Then we called our immediate family and told them. To each their own, but I don't understand the need to make some big, dramatic announcement.
Agreed, granted I did do a cutesy announcement at 13 weeks with DS. But I was naive and stupid. I didn't know about the pain of infertility or loss, then. I think we'll wait to mention it on social media until after 20 weeks, and even then, I want to think of something to say that mentions a rainbow baby, or those struggling with IF....not sure yet. I've seen a few people do it really nicely.
We announced on social media at the end of first tri with DS too, but what I'm talking about is the over-the-top, look-at-me sorts of social media posts. I had a facebook friend post something like "we have a big announcement to make - check back tomorrow!!" which of course made everyone speculate. Then she announced with a ton of pictures. I get that she was excited, but it was so incredibly AWish that it just made me roll my eyes. Then she did the same thing with the sex reveal - "finding out if LO is a boy or a girl today..." A few days later, she posted that they had done a photo shoot and the pictures would be posted within a week. I just don't understand the need to make it into this big production, it's big enough news on its own!
What I don't understand even more is the people who eat this shit up. "Ooh, I can't wait to be strung along by your stupid fb games!" Maybe I'm just bitter though.
Post by ohiorideresq on Nov 6, 2015 9:04:41 GMT -5
Add me to the hater of gender reveal parties and AW-y posts. Of course, I never announced my pregnancy on social media before and likely won't this time. Maybe it's because I hate being pregnant or maybe it's because I hate the AW-ing variety. There's so much narcissism on social media now, and I'm over it.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to keep this pregnancy a secret from the world (including most of our family) for as long as possible.
Post by frecklesnbrains on Nov 6, 2015 9:09:09 GMT -5
We'll probably do a social media announcement at 20 weeks, just because I want people to know instead of just "surprise! Now I have a baby!". But it will be short and sweet, no ultrasound photos. Maybe that's my UO - I don't like seeing other people's ultrasounds, unless it's someone I'm really close to (or you guys, of course!)
We'll probably do a social media announcement at 20 weeks, just because I want people to know instead of just "surprise! Now I have a baby!". But it will be short and sweet, no ultrasound photos. Maybe that's my UO - I don't like seeing other people's ultrasounds, unless it's someone I'm really close to (or you guys, of course!)
A good friend of mine posted pics of her a/s complete with arrows pointing to the penis and labeling it in all caps and exclamation marks. "PENIS!!!" She made it her cover photo for the rest of her pregnancy. No. Just no.
We'll probably do a social media announcement at 20 weeks, just because I want people to know instead of just "surprise! Now I have a baby!". But it will be short and sweet, no ultrasound photos. Maybe that's my UO - I don't like seeing other people's ultrasounds, unless it's someone I'm really close to (or you guys, of course!)
A good friend of mine posted pics of her a/s complete with arrows pointing to the penis and labeling it in all caps and exclamation marks. "PENIS!!!" She made it her cover photo for the rest of her pregnancy. No. Just no.
We will see our extended families at Christmas and will announce to them in person. It will be fun to see their reactions since We only see them once a year and they will all be super excited. After we tell them we will announce on FB so friends we don't see often will know. I like knowing a baby is coming rather than have a friend all of a sudden have an extra kid in their Christmas pic! It won't be anything cutesy or over the top though! And no lead ons!!!
One of my coworkers got married a couple years ago and she talked about it incessantly. It drove everyone nuts. Now she is pregnant and it is all "blah blah blah gender reveal party, blah blah Facebook photoshoot for the announcement, blah post a billion pictures of clothing for the baby that isn't getting here for 6 more months. Uuuugh. I think gender reveal parties are weird, but to each their own I guess. I don't mind the basic, post a picture of some baby shoes with a "coming February 2016!" caption. I don't know if I'll ever announce on Facebook or anything, but if I do it would probably be something like that with a mention about pregnancy loss.
Post by ArgyleEnigma on Nov 6, 2015 11:46:52 GMT -5
Elaborate announcements are not my style either, although I occasionally feel the pintresty pull.
I will definitely announce on fb, it is the best way of getting everybody at once who I wouldn't wait to tell in person. Will likely do so right after telling everybody I'm going to tell personally--we're not planning on staggering the news. When it's out it's out to everybody.
I want to clarify that I don't think it's wrong to announce on social media, and hell, even some cute pictures are totally fine! There's a line though between a tasteful announcement and a tacky one and the announcements that I'm judging cross that line. Everyone is entitled to share their excitement because being pregnant is exciting news, but the completely over the top announcements detract from the actual news which is kind of sad.
I'm considering doing a joint announcement with my sister since we're due do close together, but then I question how that type of announcement would have made me feel right after my loss and I question if I'll even announce at all.
Agreed, granted I did do a cutesy announcement at 13 weeks with DS. But I was naive and stupid. I didn't know about the pain of infertility or loss, then. I think we'll wait to mention it on social media until after 20 weeks, and even then, I want to think of something to say that mentions a rainbow baby, or those struggling with IF....not sure yet. I've seen a few people do it really nicely.
We announced on social media at the end of first tri with DS too, but what I'm talking about is the over-the-top, look-at-me sorts of social media posts. I had a facebook friend post something like "we have a big announcement to make - check back tomorrow!!" which of course made everyone speculate. Then she announced with a ton of pictures. I get that she was excited, but it was so incredibly AWish that it just made me roll my eyes. Then she did the same thing with the sex reveal - "finding out if LO is a boy or a girl today..." A few days later, she posted that they had done a photo shoot and the pictures would be posted within a week. I just don't understand the need to make it into this big production, it's big enough news on its own!
What I don't understand even more is the people who eat this shit up. "Ooh, I can't wait to be strung along by your stupid fb games!" Maybe I'm just bitter though.
We announced on social media at the end of first tri with DS too, but what I'm talking about is the over-the-top, look-at-me sorts of social media posts. I had a facebook friend post something like "we have a big announcement to make - check back tomorrow!!" which of course made everyone speculate. Then she announced with a ton of pictures. I get that she was excited, but it was so incredibly AWish that it just made me roll my eyes. Then she did the same thing with the sex reveal - "finding out if LO is a boy or a girl today..." A few days later, she posted that they had done a photo shoot and the pictures would be posted within a week. I just don't understand the need to make it into this big production, it's big enough news on its own!
What I don't understand even more is the people who eat this shit up. "Ooh, I can't wait to be strung along by your stupid fb games!" Maybe I'm just bitter though.
Lol, I saw this and was like "oh shit! what did i say??"
But yeah, she was so over the top and people ate it up. It didn't help that this was all right after my loss and her due date was within a week of mine so that certainly shaded my opinion of it all. I ended up hiding her after the week-long sex reveal so I assume she either had the baby or is super close.
Post by virginiaorjohn on Nov 6, 2015 12:40:20 GMT -5
soultrane oh no, oops! didn't mean to scare you... I probably should have snipped the part I was referencing (your FB friend). I'm sorry that happened right after your loss how horrible. I would have hidden her too!
Funny story on lead up posts on FB. My cousin (FTM, super young, just got married) posted that they were finding out the sex that day and wanted everyone to guess what it was. They went in for the scan that afternoon and it was inconclusive. I thought it was kinda hilarious that now she and all 568 of her friends who had guessed had to wait another month after making SUCH A BIG DEAL over it.
I'm thinking we should do some sort of cute announcement pic, but I just have no ideas and haven't seen anything that I really love. The big brother ones, only child expiration date, and baby shoes pics just seem too cliche. I was thinking of maybe just doing a Christmas card and signing it with our names and #2 June 2016. We are headed to Disneyland in a few weeks if that inspires any creativity. Any great ideas/inspiration?
We will likely announce on Facebook after our a/s around 20 weeks. That's what we did last time and I liked doing it that way. I don't put much on Facebook, so posting a lead up post would never cross my mind.
I agree with this! I also think it's weird to not announce and just have a kid show up like other people mentioned! But to each their own
I guess my UO with this is that it doesn't bother me how others choose to announce or share their news.
That's not to say I don't sometimes roll my eyes at the cheese, and AWing of it all, and lead ups are definitely over the top - but at the end of the day, they're really, really excited and I can't really fault them for that.
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