Cultural Differences with babies/pregnancy

[biscotto]

I am amazed by all the cultural differences I've been experiencing in regards to pregnancies and babies. I grew up in the US and I'm used to the "American" way of things and I'm seriously baffled by some beliefs here.

The Swiss aren't so bad, except for covering children in 40 layers of clothing, despite the temperature. My Italian ILs beliefs are so different from mine. A pregnant women shouldn't excercise like at all. Babies should always be laying flat until 6 months. It's impossible to survive without a 3-piece stroller. Baby should go home from hospital in the lay-flat part of the stroller and you must buy the attachment to make it a car seat. Little babies aren't comfortable in normal car seats. Etc, etc. 

Do you hear any beliefs that you think are weird?

[playlawook]

I dated an Italian for a few years. When I would go to visit him in Rome, his family used to always ask weird things like "where are her socks?" If I was wearing a dress. I also remember everyone freaking out if I didn't blow dry my hair and then went outside. Also one time when he came to my house in the us, he insisted that it was unhealthy to sleep in a bed that didn't have a head board. Not baby related but so funny!

[biscotto]

Jan 30, 2015 10:27:05 GMT -5 playlawook said:

I dated an Italian for a few years. When I would go to visit him in Rome, his family used to always ask weird things like "where are her socks?" If I was wearing a dress. I also remember everyone freaking out if I didn't blow dry my hair and then went outside. Also one time when he came to my house in the us, he insisted that it was unhealthy to sleep in a bed that didn't have a head board. Not baby related but so funny!

OMG on the hair drying crap. It's because a wet neck causes some sort of deadly condition. The humidity or something. My FI even asked our doctor here if its ok if I don't always dry my hair. My doctor was like um, you can't get sick from wet hair...

Italians are crazy. 

[cabauer9]

My H is Filipino. MIL says her kids have straight legs because she didn't carry them on her hip. I'm preparing for an interesting conversation since I intend to wear LO and that will put his legs in the same kind of position they would be in on the hip.

[jm0848]

American in Germany here... They a very ultrasound happy, but ob's don't deliver babies. They don't believe that birth is a big deal- it's natural (and you shouldn't need meds) and you should be able to do everything after because you're not broken, you just gave birth.

[biscotto]

Jan 30, 2015 10:42:37 GMT -5 jm0848 said:

American in Germany here... They a very ultrasound happy, but ob's don't deliver babies. They don't believe that birth is a big deal- it's natural (and you shouldn't need meds) and you should be able to do everything after because you're not broken, you just gave birth.

What...?

[jm0848]

Jan 30, 2015 10:46:07 GMT -5 biscotto said:

Jan 30, 2015 10:42:37 GMT -5 jm0848 said:

American in Germany here... They a very ultrasound happy, but ob's don't deliver babies. They don't believe that birth is a big deal- it's natural (and you shouldn't need meds) and you should be able to do everything after because you're not broken, you just gave birth.

What...?

Which part? Lol

[playlawook]

Jan 30, 2015 10:29:43 GMT -5 biscotto said:

Jan 30, 2015 10:27:05 GMT -5 playlawook said:

I dated an Italian for a few years. When I would go to visit him in Rome, his family used to always ask weird things like "where are her socks?" If I was wearing a dress. I also remember everyone freaking out if I didn't blow dry my hair and then went outside. Also one time when he came to my house in the us, he insisted that it was unhealthy to sleep in a bed that didn't have a head board. Not baby related but so funny!

OMG on the hair drying crap. It's because a wet neck causes some sort of deadly condition. The humidity or something. My FI even asked our doctor here if its ok if I don't always dry my hair. My doctor was like um, you can't get sick from wet hair...

Italians are crazy. 

Like... All of this is why I wasn't compatible with an Italian. He was quite a bit older than me and I was an American college student, hoodie wearing and all. It was too big of a cultural difference! I also remember he used to say "I will never know why American girls think it is appropriate to wear their pajamas to the airport." And to me, that's the most sensible outfit you can wear when you're about to get on a flight

[biscotto]

Jan 30, 2015 10:53:04 GMT -5 jm0848 said:

Jan 30, 2015 10:46:07 GMT -5 biscotto said:

What...?

Which part? Lol

Doing everything after birth.

[jm0848]

Jan 30, 2015 10:57:25 GMT -5 biscotto said:

Jan 30, 2015 10:53:04 GMT -5 jm0848 said:

Which part? Lol

Doing everything after birth.

Yeah. They don't deliver meals to your room, don't really check on you or baby that much, and don't think you really need much in terms of care.

[biscotto]

Jan 30, 2015 11:01:39 GMT -5 jm0848 said:

Jan 30, 2015 10:57:25 GMT -5 biscotto said:

Doing everything after birth.

Yeah. They don't deliver meals to your room, don't really check on you or baby that much, and don't think you really need much in terms of care.

That's awful!

[snarkysparklefart]

My H is black, and I am white- we don't have any huge cultural differences in our families because we are both raised similarly and in the same town. His mom does insist that all babies should have hats on, all the time. She has bought/made DD1 over 100 hats and was seriously offended any time she didn't see her wearing one, even in the house.

My late grandmother had some interesting theories too-

After 6 weeks women shouldn't breasffeed because the milk gets too watery and won't keep a baby full.
Babies should drink cow milk once they can sit up
Cloth diapers are the only way to go (I do love cloth!)
Wearing pants at any point in the first few months PP causes infection and infertility (she lived almost 73 years and never owned jeans)

warning, this one is a bit icky- women should only use cloth pads postpartum and the blood should be wrung out over flowers so they'd bloom for longer & more vibrantly. (FWIW I do intend to keep my placenta and bury it with some lilies. Her favorite, in our backyard in memorial of her and for the girls to enjoy)

I realize how many of her theories were silly but she was such a special part of my life, I can't help but enjoy her quirky ideas.

[biscotto]

Jan 30, 2015 11:23:21 GMT -5 snarkysparklefart said:

My H is black, and I am white- we don't have any huge cultural differences in our families because we are both raised similarly and in the same town. His mom does insist that all babies should have hats on, all the time. She has bought/made DD1 over 100 hats and was seriously offended any time she didn't see her wearing one, even in the house.

My late grandmother had some interesting theories too-

After 6 weeks women shouldn't breasffeed because the milk gets too watery and won't keep a baby full.
Babies should drink cow milk once they can sit up
Cloth diapers are the only way to go (I do love cloth!)
Wearing pants at any point in the first few months PP causes infection and infertility (she lived almost 73 years and never owned jeans)

warning, this one is a bit icky- women should only use cloth pads postpartum and the blood should be wrung out over flowers so they'd bloom for longer & more vibrantly. (FWIW I do intend to keep my placenta and bury it with some lilies. Her favorite, in our backyard in memorial of her and for the girls to enjoy)

I realize how many of her theories were silly but she was such a special part of my life, I can't help but enjoy her quirky ideas.

She's made over 100 hats?!

[TheTuna15]

So my family is fresh off the boat so to speak, and I don't understand a few things that are considered American staples. The number 1 though, is Gerber. When my half-sister was about 6 months old, about 5 years ago, my grandmother and I were so confused as to why my step mother insisted on giving her pureed food from a jar. Not that I'm judgey about that! Not everyone has time to make their own baby food. But my grandmother was staying with them and she wanted to specifically make the kid food the same way she had for me and my father. My step-mother insisted that the food she bought was better.

Also, Schedules!! Anyone else who has family in South America will probably relate to this. I'm totally down with babies having nap-times and food times, but I never understood my friends/H's family who rushed their children home for naps/food. On my side of the family, the cousins typically just lay their kids down wherever. I don't think any way is wrong, but it's strangely different.

[snarkysparklefart]

biscotto she has mostly bought them, but she has 'made' a few as well. (The quotes are to indicate that most of them aren't very hat like, I crochet and making hats is not very difficult, but she's managed to complicate the process and make some really weird looking things- I keep those in DD's dressup bins)

[5099peperk]

My Husband is from England and they do not do many ultrasounds. I think my SIL only had one ultrasound at 20 weeks. They were shocked to hear about my 3 ultrasounds and the testing done around 12 weeks.

While there maternity leave is a million times better than here in the US, I am glad I will not be giving birth there. When you go into labor they put you in a room with about 4-6 other mothers who are also in labor. Once you hit the pushing stage they moved you into a private room to deliver. Within an hour of delivery you were then moved into a room with 4 other mothers to recover. That all just sounded horrible to me, and I could not imagine not having a private room. (first world problem, i know). I also told my Husband that if I were to deliver in England we would be buying private insurance so I could have a private room.

Also, while the conception is that Americans are over medicated, I felt my MIL and SIL used an equivalent to Tylenol way to often. The kids were always taking it! I want to say almost weekly. That I did not agree with.

[TheTuna15]

Jan 30, 2015 11:41:27 GMT -5 snarkysparklefart said:

biscotto she has mostly bought them, but she has 'made' a few as well. (The quotes are to indicate that most of them aren't very hat like, I crochet and making hats is not very difficult, but she's managed to complicate the process and make some really weird looking things- I keep those in DD's dressup bins)

LMFAO

I'm reading this while I crochet a blanket for a LO to pass some time, and I'm just imagining what these weird hat things look like. 

[snarkysparklefart]

TheTuna15 I may have to find a few and post a pic. Also, I just can't find a pattern I love for the yarn I bought for this baby.. Any suggestions? What pattern are you using if you don't mind sharing?

[TheTuna15]

snarkysparklefart I love typing your name. I hope these pictures aren't obnoxiously large, but this is what mine looks like. It's literally a single chain to start and then single crochet, turn, single crochet the whole way up

[biscotto]

Jan 30, 2015 11:36:12 GMT -5 TheTuna15 said:

So my family is fresh off the boat so to speak, and I don't understand a few things that are considered American staples. The number 1 though, is Gerber. When my half-sister was about 6 months old, about 5 years ago, my grandmother and I were so confused as to why my step mother insisted on giving her pureed food from a jar. Not that I'm judgey about that! Not everyone has time to make their own baby food. But my grandmother was staying with them and she wanted to specifically make the kid food the same way she had for me and my father. My step-mother insisted that the food she bought was better.

Also, Schedules!! Anyone else who has family in South America will probably relate to this. I'm totally down with babies having nap-times and food times, but I never understood my friends/H's family who rushed their children home for naps/food. On my side of the family, the cousins typically just lay their kids down wherever. I don't think any way is wrong, but it's strangely different.

i agree with you on the schedules! americans are crazy about them. its a little more relaxed here.

[snarkysparklefart]

TheTuna15 I LOVE it. I usually don't like single because it seems so tedious but I really need to do something to pass the time, so it might be best. And with 3 strands at once, it looks super thick with no holes for tiny toes to get into!

[TheTuna15]

snarkysparklefart Thank you! I'm usually not a fan of the single either, but I think multiple colors/textures makes it. I realized after I posted it that I'm making this blanket in a twin size so that she can use it when she gets older and I can use it for tummy time for now, and you may be looking for something different.

So this is the pattern I'm using for the little soft throw I'm going to be making after this: www.craftfoxes.com/how_tos/textured-crochet-blanket

[mrsk]

Jan 30, 2015 11:36:12 GMT -5 TheTuna15 said:

So my family is fresh off the boat so to speak, and I don't understand a few things that are considered American staples. The number 1 though, is Gerber. When my half-sister was about 6 months old, about 5 years ago, my grandmother and I were so confused as to why my step mother insisted on giving her pureed food from a jar. Not that I'm judgey about that! Not everyone has time to make their own baby food. But my grandmother was staying with them and she wanted to specifically make the kid food the same way she had for me and my father. My step-mother insisted that the food she bought was better.

Also, Schedules!! Anyone else who has family in South America will probably relate to this. I'm totally down with babies having nap-times and food times, but I never understood my friends/H's family who rushed their children home for naps/food. On my side of the family, the cousins typically just lay their kids down wherever. I don't think any way is wrong, but it's strangely different.

Yes I also don't get the meticulous scheduling or the obsession with Gerber. I do plan to at least try to make my own baby food, but it does seem odd that there only seems to be one option to choose from.

The only cultural difference I can think of is when I was in France, the family I was with mentioned how their maternity leave is much longer. I think about 4 months and with full pay. 

[shanniegal]

DH is from Egypt and his mom is the same about going outside with wet hair. And if you have a cold, you shouldn't get chilled. When we visited a few summers ago DH was having sinus issues, so she wouldn't run the air conditioner... in Egypt... in July.

In Egypt they don't use epidurals or any kind of pain meds during delivery. So MIL is uncomfortable with me getting the epi. (My hope/plan is to go med-free, but I want to keep my options open since I've never really had to deal with extreme pain before.) I'm sure that a lot more baby related things will be different, they just haven't come up yet.

[MauiBliss]

I am a naturalized American.....I find most of what Americans think to be important and necessary to be excessive or baffling. It just is what it is. There are some things my husband totally doesn't understand about certain of my preferences for the baby but most, he actually agrees with.

[jrp]

We lived in Hawaii when I was pregnant with DS... It was the year of the golden dragon or something that only happens once every 100 years, and people had purposefully waited to have a baby during that year since it was supposedly *super* lucky. There was some weird advice I got, like I shouldn't have chicken soup if it wasn't made with the whole, intact chicken, because otherwise my baby would be "broken" like the chicken. (Eek.) one that I did kind of like, though, was an old wives tale about how to tell the sex of a baby based on how the mother stands: if she rests her hands on top of the belly, it's a boy, but if she holds her hands underneath, it's a girl. The "rationale" is that mothers lean on their sons and carry their daughters.

We also lived in Italy pre-kids (join the navy; see the world), and the main thing I brought back with me was the whole attitude of drinking while pregnant. I don't have it super frequently, but damn if there aren't days with a toddler who didn't nap and fighting with the insurance company and whatever, when this bloated momma just needs a half-glass of the house red.

[djoliet]

I'm Mexican so where do I start? ? Lol. I've been walking around with a key on my pants per my mother's orders since we had that first eclipse a few months ago. I don't really believe in it but to make my mother happy I do it because it's just a key on my pants haha. Apparently I'm supposed to keep it on at all times in case an unexpected eclipse happens? ?? Ooookay mom. ..

Also my mother always texts me during the full moon to check on the baby because it's apparebtly believed there are more chances of going into labor during a full moon??

Every time my dad sees me, he asks me if I'm craving anything and if I say I am a certain thing he always makes sure he has it next time he sees me so the baby won't be born with her mouth open since I never satisfied the craving haha.

When a baby is teething they are usually given a necklace to wear made out of some kind of tree bark that's supposed to help them with the pain. My grandma usually makes them for all the babies in our family.

[issytex03]

Im a UK Mama we dont have many scans if baby is healthy and you have no issues i have them every 4 weeks because of NND in previous pregnancy. They also mostly have only midwives when delivering babies if a doctor is there is usually because the baby is in trouble

[issytex03]

Also i get 9 months of paid maternity leave. Which i feel really lucky to have knowing that not everyone has this.

[mandi195]

Jan 30, 2015 13:44:56 GMT -5 issytex03 said:

Also i get 9 months of paid maternity leave. Which i feel really lucky to have knowing that not everyone has this.

I would seriously do a happy dance for hours if I got 9 months of paid leave. I get 6 weeks paid, with the option to use sick/vacation time after that, or go unpaid, for an additional 6 weeks. Egads.