Bi-weekly Vodka and Hugs 12/29

[skategirl128]

Time to update us on all of the things in your life right now!


Sending extra hugs and love during this holiday season to my lovelies! I'm super thankful to have all of you in my life!

[4furrypaws]

Haaiiii skategirl128 !!! Hope you had a nice Holiday! We had a real nice time with our family!

So my IVF meds were supposed to be here today...got delayed...then tomorrow...delayed again because they said they didn't have my Rx coverage info...WTF...so now they will be here Thursday. They better not mess up again!
I should be staring around this time NEXT WEEK!!!

Hope you are all doing well! Love and Hugs all around! xo

[grneyes]

4furrypaws Ugh, sorry about the delay, hope you don't have any more issues. So excited for you!

AFM, we are leaving this weekend for our Caribbean cruise!! It is a much needed break, I've been having a hard time emotionally over the holidays in regards to babies/ttc etc. I'll be on Femara pretty much as soon as we are back so I'm excited and nervous about that as well. Lots of (((hugs))), ladies!

[4furrypaws]

grneyes you have so much fun love!

[rubysi]

Hi ladies I just wanted to wish you a happy new year. This holiday season has been difficult for me so I went into hiding. But I think of you always and wish you all the best.

[muscari]

Happy 2016 all!! I hope you all had lovely holidays and a fun NYE!

4furrypaws, oh no, how annoying they messed up delivery of your IVF meds, I hope they have by now arrived and you can stop worrying/stressing about that. And omigosh it's getting so close now!

grneyes, wishing you a lovely, fun and relaxing cruise - sounds like a wonderful break And yey for almost coming off the bench!

rubysi, *hugs* lovely to hear from you again lady! I'm sorry the holidays have been hard on you, I do hope you were able to enjoy some of it as well.

AFM.. NCALR things have been pretty slow around here since MH got out of the hospital. He is still recovering from his back surgery, so we've been house-bound over the holidays but it's been okay. Recovery is going well but soooo slow (much to his frustration) but there's a little progress every day (and some days a step back but that's all part of the game I supppose) so we're staying positive. Just got to find a large dose of patience somewhere;) TBH these past weeks/months have been so overwhelming and I'm just ready for life to return to some normalcy again, and those quiet days were good for me.

CALR: Shitty stuff. My intrauterine adhesions have recurred so I'm looking at an addition 3mo treatement for them, starting at my next AF (next week) and to be repeated at the start of each new cycle (3x). Not sure what the English term for it would be but basically they will be inserting a serie of instruments into my cervix to stretch/dialate both my cervix and lower part of my ute which should pull apart the adhesions that have formed there. Sounds like fun, huh?? In all honesty I'm dreading it as f*ck but without this treatement the chances of implantation or carrying a healthy pregnancy are slim to none so what can I do. It's disappointing to realize that we're pretty much still in the same spot as we were so many months months ago with no real guarantee that this stretching business will even work. I haven't asked yet what the options are if it doesn't..

MH&I are slowly starting prepare ourselves for the 'what if' of things never happening for us. To some it may sound premature and maybe it is but the recurrance of my IUAs are a seriously blow in the gut and at first I honestly didn't know whether I could handle. Plus treatement takes time, and the clock keeps ticking, so we may well be running out of time. And I am trying to figure out how much more treatement for my Ashermans I can handle. Physically I know I'll get through it one way or the other, but I worry about how I'll be able to cope emotionally, especially with the uncertainty and disappointment of recurrance but also the physical part of the treatement (esp that first hysteroscopy was real traumatic). We've discussed taking it one treatement round at a time, and go from there. Knowing that it's okay for me to say "stop" and to reassess things and knowing MH understands and has my back regardless of what I decide is a huge thing. We're in this together but he feels very strongly that since it's my body we're putting through all this, the ultimate decision on what to do and when to stop is mine.

I had never thought we'd be at this point, where a choice like this would in front of us. I always naievely thought "well, if we don't manage to conceive again naturally there's always IUIs or IVF and while that ain't a walk in the park surely it will happen for us one way or the other". I always felt I'd want to give IVF a try if needed, even knowing it could well not work, to have the peace of mind that we'd tried all we could to make our dream of a family of our own come true. But now that feels like so far away and I'm at a loss really. Cause I do have to have a properly working ute for all that and so far my ute has been a f*cking waste of space. Knowing the IUAs are caused as a complication from the D&C we never wanted in the first place and tried to prevent so hard by taking the cytotec route just makes it all the more difficult. But I'm rambling..

I also realized that I been having a pretty damn hard time with so many lovely ladies moving on to CAR . I am oh so happy for them but with everything going on on our own end it's just rough (and seeing some return here just breaks my heart). Then there's our BFP and loss milestone coming up too these next couple months, which isn't helping either. And while I know people mean well when they say that they have no doubt that 2016 will bring us our wish and I can't blame people for not having a clue, it's been hard listening to all these Happy New Year wishes.

Most of 2015 has revolved around our loss and I've desperately hoped for another BFP (not ending in a CP.. like back in April, which I never really shared here as I didn't really realize it was a CP until my dr sister told me so a couple months ago, I just thought I was/went crazy seeing lines appear then disappear over the course of a week with some spotting) which has been ... a disappointment to say the least and I'm determined to not approach 2016 the same way. Chances of having a 2016 baby are looking really slim for us right now so I'm trying to let that go and focus on other things again, too. 2016 will be a year of HOPE (thanks for that crimpgirl and I hope to pull back more things that make me happy into my life. MH & I both are determined to do so (this past year has been shitty on so many fronts for us) so here's to a great 2016 one way or another!

Sorry for the  novel.. but it was good to get it out. much to you all and thanks for taking the time to read XX

[muscari]

Oy I didn't realize my post was THIS lenghty! so sorry about that.. I guess when I start writing I just don't know how to stop my train of thoughts and you ladies are the few who actually understand where I'm coming from.

[grneyes]

muscari, Lots of (((hugs))). I'm so sorry to hear the adhesions are back and having to go through more treatments to correct them. The ttc stuff is so hard sometimes. I would try and take things one step at a time, I know I get too overwhelmed if I think what this all means for the future. We're always here for you!

[skategirl128]

Big hugs to all who need them!

Have fun on vacation grneyes! It sounds awesome!

rubysi so many hugs love! Holidays can be hard under the best of circumstances and AL it's just so much harder. Much love sent your way!

Big hugs muscari! That's so much to deal with and you are so positive through it all.

renegadewhit your redo of the room sounds awesome! I'm waiting to see the pics!!

4furrypaws good luck next week! So excited for you!

[4furrypaws]

rubysi hi sweetie, nice to see you pop in! Love all the pup n kit Picts on IG. The main reason I'm looking forward to spring is to see what's in store for your garden!!!! I swoon at its sight!!!!(((Hugs))) sweets, we love you!!!

muscari Back surgery is no joke. My Mom has had several fusions and it's a tough recovery but it's worth it in the long run!
I'm so sorry those fucking adhesions are back. F! That is so good you guys are on board together with the treatments. One thing at a time Hun, that's all any of us can do. ((Hugs)) and you feel free to let it all out here whenever you need to! We are here for you! We get it!

renegadewhit yes AW Picts of your work!! New cars are fun!! A Subaru will be good in bad weather, safety first!!
Omg. 5 months!!!! That is going to fly by!!! Woohoo!

@sarahwithanh will need Picts of this too!

So this all came yesterday....shit..


But look at these new friends I made...
(Not mine, at the shelter today, we had a big NYE rescue)


And my current bunny BF...


Tomorrow I have kitteh handling training so I'll be having more furrys to share the cuteness of!!

Hope everyone has a good wknd.
Love and hugs ladies!

[grneyes]

renegadewhit, I can't wait to see pics of the new room, it sounds awesome! We have turned what would have been the nursery into an exercise room/art studio for my H. It does feel nice for it have a purpose. And yay for a new car, how exciting!

4furrypaws, Those pups are so cute!!!

[muscari]

@sarahwithanh, grneyes, skategirl128, 4furrypaws, thanks for the hugs and kind and wise words, ladies For some reason things hit me really hard a couple of days ago but I'm in a better place now. Calling the hospital tomorrow to set up the first appointment for treatement, and going from there.

renegadewhit, how exciting you have been shopping for a new car! MH had júst bought a new car a month prior to us meeting, which became "our" car some months down the road when my own oldie didn't pass the road inspection. I remember being quite anxious and a bit scared driving it at first since it was brandspanking shiney new! And hey, not gaining weight during the holidays is good! I'm sure that now that the holiday foods have left the building again you'll get back to loosing some more

Oy 4furrypaws, that's a crapload of meds! More then the candystore MH acquired over the past weeks ;-) And omgosh those puppies are so cute! I consider myself very much a (crazy) cat lady but seeing these babies and the other cute doggies posted here sometimes has made me soft And I'm working MH to let me get some bunnies (so far he's not caved yet hah, but he's more open to bunnies then chickens ;-))

renegadewhit, @sarahwithanh, I'm jealous of you two making such progress around the house. We've lived here for almost 3 years now but there's so many unfinished projects still and none of the rooms upstairs are done. We did start on making changes last year in prep for the nursery (we needed to move/merge some rooms so to speak) but abandonded that after the loss and it's been messy since. It's on our 2016 list to finish a couple of rooms and hearing you two talk about it and seeing Whit AW her progress somewhere on another thread (don't remember where... was on mobile at the time) I'm itching to start!