I'm scared, but motivated. I am scared because I have a new baby to take care of and I'm scared i won't be able to manage my symptoms when I get super stressed out. I'm scared because DH is still gone and I have limited help with both babies.
I'm motivated because I know I made a lot of changes in 2015 regarding my treatment, and I want to continue on that path to recovery.
I hope it is ok to just jump right in. If anyone feels like I should start a new thread, I will, but the title seems to sum up where I'm at right now, so here I go.
***trigger warning. death of a parent (long time ago)***
I am apprehensive about 2016 as it marks the 30-year anniversary of the loss of my mother (sudden, rare medical condition). Coincidentally I will be her age later this month. I had gone 25 years thinking everything was fine and worked through some grief only in the last 5 years or so. I have been warned that this being the same age messes with you, and it sure does. It feels like this should be the year that I finally get my shit together and let go of my scared, and overwhelmed little 5yo self, not let fear define me.
I think I would like to be active on this board in order to keep my sanity this coming year.
@dutchkatie, of course you can jump in! Welcome and I'm sorry for your loss and the accompanying emotions. We also do a weekly check in on the confidential board.
AFM, I am excited for 2016! 2015 was probably the hardest year of my life. It did lead to some very important self-work and progress, but honestly, I'm not sad it's over. And starting a new year without IF hanging over me is so liberating!
@dutchkatie - Welcome to MW. I'm Wallie, one of the mods. No need to start a separate thread. However, I recommend reading our welcome thread to get a better idea of this board's do's and don'ts. Our rules are a little different from the main boards.
Now that I got that out of the way. I'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost my mom(suicide) at a young age (12). It's been 20 years and some days are still harder than others. Milestones have been hard, and I have an irrational fear of ending up like her. I still have several years before I reach age, but I worry just like you.
Take it one step at a time. Fear should never define anyone, live your life as you should.
@dutchkatie, welcome! I'm very sorry for the loss of your mother. Milestones bring along many emotions and fears and i hope you can cope without having potential what ifs hover over your thoughts and actions. You can always jump into our weekly threads whenever you like!
Welcome to the board @dutchkatie! (Guys, she is a longtime OAD poster and has always been very kind and thoughtful on our board.) I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother, and it makes total sense that this would be a hard year for you. This is a small, tight-knit board and I'm glad you decided to join in; I think you'll find good support here.
Thanks for the warm welcome, ladies. I wish you all the very best of years, whereever you are now.
@wallflwr926, I am so sorry for your loss. As always, there is some strange comfort in knowing that others may have similar burdens, even with different stories.
Thanks for the warm welcome, ladies. I wish you all the very best of years, whereever you are now.
@wallflwr926, I am so sorry for your loss. As always, there is some strange comfort in knowing that others may have similar burdens, even with different stories.
I agree. Everyone loses their parents at some point, but it's not as common to lose a parent a young age. It's a strange little club to belong to.
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