Bi-weekly vodka and cheese 1/12

[skategirl128]

Time to spill everything that's going on with you!

Big hugs to all of my lovelies!

[grneyes]

Hi skategirl128, thanks for the check-in!

We got back from our cruise this week. It was a wonderful break. Snowy tundra here. Ute also cooperated with the timing, so officially off the bench and I'll start Femara this week. On the non ttcal front, I am thinking about applying for a job at a preschool for a few days a week since the baby plan/SAHM is clearly not working out too well. I worry about being around a lot of little ones during winter/cold season, so we'll see. I'm pretty grumpy right now with it being January/loss milestones coming up and having to be back at the RE. Big hugs to those that need them.

[cali]

Thanks for the check in skategirl128

grneyes, so jealous of your vacation. I hope you had a blast. FX for you this cycle. I think a job could be great and may help take some of your focus off TTC. If you think you can handle being around little ones I say go for it! GL!

AFM, not much to report. In the TWW on a natural cycle. I think if this cycle doesn't work out we'll do one more natural and then maybe go back to treatment, maybe Clomid/IUI. I started back at school today. My schedule is going to be intense this semester because I start clinicals, so with that plus working part time it will be hard to squeeze in all the necessary appointments. I get anxiety just thinking about it all (hence the break cycles). Not muchvelse to report. Hope all you ladies are enjoying the new year so far!

[skategirl128]

I'm glad you had a great cruise grneyes! If you think you can handle littles go for the job! I teach preschool (and have for over 10 years) and I love it! Pm me if you have any questions etc.

cali big hugs! Good luck with school this semester!

AFM I'm having a rough week! I had a pipe burst yesterday in my laundry room/kitchen. Such an expensive mess! Added to that I have an intense after school schedule plus conferences this week! So thankful it's all over on Saturday. And grateful that my pipe is fixed and I've basically cleaned up the disaster!

Big hugs to all who need them!

[skategirl128]

Big hugs @eliida!

[crazycatlady6]

@eliida - (((hugs)))

XP from CAL:

Still waiting for the doctor to fill out the paperwork to submit to the insurance company for the transition of care. Still hoping for a March retrieval.

*loss of pet mentioned*
On the other front, I am reeling from my cat passing away suddenly early yesterday morning. He went from fine to gone in 3 hours. He was having difficulty breathing so we took him to an emergency vet. He was filled with fluid and when they went to drain it, it was too much for him and his heart stopped beating. The vet said that with what fluid she did draw out, it indicated heart failure. He did have a heart murmur since he was 4. I'm missing my buddy.

[grneyes]

cali, (((hugs))), GL with school this semester. I hope keeping busy will keep you distracted from ttc anxiety.

skategirl128, Yikes! So sorry to hear about the pipe bursting, it's so stressful when house stuff goes wrong. I hope you get some good relaxation in at the end of the week! My background has always been working with young children (child therapist), so the preschool seemed like a good, lower stress interim option for me career wise while we are ttc. The plan has always been for me to be a SAHM until kids start grade school. I'm sure I'll be PM-ing you about it!

@eliida, Thanks! I hope you don't have to wait too long. I hope the results give you some answers, finding out my last loss was genetically normal, was really, really hard on me. The evil ute dx seems much harder to treat. I hear you about the cold weather..it's been between 10-20 degrees here this week.

renegadewhit, GL with getting back on a good work out schedule, I need to do this mysself! It's so hard to get motivated sometimes.

crazycatlady6, (((hugs))) I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your kitty.

[skategirl128]

Big hugs crazycatlady6, I'm so sorry for the loss of your kitty!

In a fun twist of my crazy week we have a snow day today! The timing couldn't have been better for me! I do still have to go in for conferences, but here I sit in my warm cozy house on TCF until running around like a crazy lady!

[cali]

crazycatlady6, I'm so sorry. ((Hugs))

[muscari]

Hey ladies! Late comments are late but here I am with *hugs* and of course vodka and.. cheese? Us Dutchies are famous for our cheese hahaa so here's some nom Old Amsterdam!



grneyes, your vacation cruise sounds wonderful, I hope you&YH feel rejuvenated! I betcoming home to the snowy tundra was quite a difference heh. Yay for getting off the bench and GL this cycle. I'm feeling odd as well with jan/feb milestones coming up, it's messing with my head somehow. **hugs** If you end up applying for that job, FX!

cali, are you looking forward starting your clinicals, apart from the hectic and intense schedule that is? I can imagine that thinking about adding appointments to an already intense schedule makes you anxious. Maybe once the semester is a bit under way and you've got the swing of things it'll be less stress-inducing? *hugs*

skategirl128, thanks for the check-in Ugh so sorry to read about your burst pipe! But yay for getting an unexpected snow day. I hope you were able to rest up this weekend after such a busy week.

@eliida, **hugs** sending you much love. Of course you are angry, only natural after all you've been through and what you lost. Though knowing it is normal/okay to be angry of course doesn't really help you feel any better right now. I hope you won't have to wait on the test results too long, and that they will give you some answers. *more hugs*

renegadewhit, I hear you on the standstill when it comes to loosing weight. I've been jojoing around the same kgs as well and just can't seem to get past my current lowest weight. Though I have to admit I've also not at all been motivated lately so that of course isn't helping. GL with jumpstarting your weight loss again, you can do this! Also, have you taken your vitamins today??

crazycatlady6, ohh I'm so sorry about your kittycat. **bighugs** Our furbabies are so entwined with our soul and everything it's impossibly quiet and empty when they are no longer with us.
I hope your insurance will make haste with sorting out their stuff, it's taking ridiculously long?? Hopefully they'll get it sorted in time for a March ER!

[muscari]

Oh doh I forget my own update. CALR: My procedure this past Monday wasn't too bad - the shots for the local anesthesia took longer then the actual procedure *g* Recovery was pretty easy, I felt a little crampy and spotted for the rest of the week meh, but that was it. Now that I know what to expect I'm not too worried about having to go through this twice more (although it sucks that I get such bad vasovagal response to them messing with my cervix).

Next procedure is Febr 4th and we will also be starting testing (SA, CD3 bloodwork, HSG etc) at the same time. Now that I'm in the middle of this 3mo treatement for my adhesions it seemed easier to get the testing done at that hospital rather then have to visit yet another . Location-wise it's not ideal (there's only one H that has specialists for Asherman's Syndrome in the NL and it's a lil further away from home, though not too bad luckily) but since I have to be there anyway it beats having to travel to two different hospitals. Plus I like knowing that she has all the knowledge about my adhesions&treatement and all.

Talking about things with the dr also has taken away most of my anxiety and worries about this treatement and future possibilities, and I feel much more positive about continuing TTC again now. I guess January/February milestones coming up also was/isn't helping with my state of mind. What a mindf*ck is this all!!  Basically it can go two directions now. A) adhesions respond well to this 3mo treatement, SA/HSG etc checks out, and we will start IUIs this April/May and hope that'll do the trick. B) my ute gives me another FU and adhesions recur again, then another hysteroscopy will be scheduled and a plan of treatement set up depending on what she finds. No clue what the options are then. I vote for option A!

NCALR: MHs recovery is going well, slower then he'd like though heh but as expected. One step at a time. I myself am still struggling with depression. I've had 3 sessions with my new therapist so far and it's been helpful so far yet at the same time I'm not sure it is making a real difference. Probably too early to tell. Undecided still as of yet whether I will manage to do this without going back on antidepressants... I've stopped my job search for now, and am determined to pick up my research and finish writing that bloody MSc dissertation this Spring. We'll see how that goes. 

[muscari]

Thank you @eliida , so am I!

And yes I've brought up the subject of meds during our first appointment already, to see what he thought and all, and he's is of the opinion that I probably would benefit from them. I have come to that conclusion myself as well several times over the past months, but then change my mind again. I'm so hesistant really, I worked so hard to be completely medicine-free (I've been on anti-depressants and mood stablizers in the past, as well as for my heart issues) that it is a really tough decision now. Also, the whole hospitalization after birth - if we were lucky enough to succesfully concieve and carry to term - kind of freaks me out and makes me feel like a terribly mother even before getting KU! So many thoughts&feelings that are contradicting eachother.

editing to add: there is a special department at the hospital here for pregnant women with psych problems, and I am thinking about seeing them for information. But it has felt like too much to add that to the seemingly evergrowing list of hospital appointments heh.. so I haven't actually made the call yet

[grneyes]

muscari , Glad to hear the procedure went well, and really hope for you that those adhesions stay away! Good luck with rest of the testing. As far as therapy, it is too soon to tell yet. Don't be afraid to switch though if you find you are having trouble connecting to this particular therapist. As for the antidepressants, I make my recommendation to therapy clients based on how they are functioning with simple every day things (are they able to get out of bed easily each day, eating and sleeping normally, are they able to function at work/school, and in their social relationships). If those things are very difficult to do, I think medication is necessary. If not, then you probably know yourself best if you need them. Regular exercise (30 mins of cardio 3-4 times a week) has also been shown to be just as effective as antidepressants for mild-mod depression. Severe depression needs medication. I wish you well with whatever you decide!

ETA: words