@eliida, Good luck today and (((hugs))), let us know how it goes.
AFM, not too much to report, just in the TWW. We had one good follie this month on Femara. Not enjoying being back on progesterone suppositories twice a day, but oh well. Lots of love and (((hugs))) to everyone!
Post by skategirl128 on Jan 28, 2016 21:40:10 GMT -5
I really struggled and hesitated posting this here, but I'm coming into a very tough week! Five years ago tomorrow I took my late-FI to the hospital for his routine procedure. He was gone by the following Thursday (the 4th). I'm really struggling with all of this. Some years are easier than others but with it being five years it's hitting really hard. I think he would be happy with how I've been doing and that I'm happy but it's so hard in some ways. I'll be going to dinner with his family on Thursday. I'm dreading it to be honest. Can't back out though- I'll be having a drink though and I very seldomly ever drink anymore!
I'm actually going out of town this weekend to be with my best friend. SO is so busy with school that I'm glad to have a girls weekend to cope. It was his idea for me to go. I'm thankful SO takes this in stride and is there for me in the ways that he can be. I know it has to be hard on so many levels.
Anyways sending all of my love to all of you! Big squishy hugs ladies!
skategirl128, I'm so sorry you're struggling. I know how hard it is to lose someone and feel that emptiness. So many ((hugs))
AFM, nothing really to report on TTC. Natural cycle. I think I o'ed yesterday so I guess I'm in the TWW. Starting prog supps tomorrow. Blah. I'm feeling kind of down though. We have a condo that we had been renting but now since I'm back in school and finances are tight we have to sell. It's been on the market since August and we got our first offer just this week. It was a super low offer but we just can't afford to keep it on the market much longer and this is the only offer we've gotten in 5 months. We were able to negotiate the price up a little and we basically had to take it or we would be looking at a foreclosuee. As it is we're going to end up bringing a pretty hefty check to closing. All I keep thinking is that money could have paid for more IUIs or IVF. It's basically going to wipe out oyr savings completely. Now we'll be more broke than ever and I don't know how we'll ever afford treatment. I'm relieved to be rid of the financial burden of the condo but I'm sad that our chances of paying OOP for more treatment this year are now pretty bleak. Sorry for the long rant, just had to get that off my chest.
skategirl128, big (((hugs))), loss anniversaries are hard.
cali, (((hugs))), I'm sorry you guys are taking a financial hit on the condo, that's tough, especially with everything else going on. I would maybe try and look at organizations that offer grants for fertility treatment/IVF, or to explore options about another insurance plan given that your state is a mandated infertility coverage one.
Have been feeling somewhat out of sorts so kept postponing posting as I didn't want to be a debbie downer but then was thinking.. tis what we are here for right..
@eliida, big hugs. I'm sorry the appointment didn't bring much answers (from what I gathered from your update on the WuW) but am glad they're looking into doing more tests and I hope you can move forward again soon as you feel ready.
renegadewhit, so happy for you that your stall seems to be broken, that must feel wonderful. And wow only 4 more months left on the bench. I hope you'll manage to reach your goal! You can do this!
skategirl128, tight hugs. I can imagine that things are rough for you right now, with so many memories surrounding this time of year. I'll be thinking of you on Thursday and I hope that the gathering with his family won't be too bad and hard on you. Did you enjoy your girls weekend out? We're here for you!
Oh cali, I'm sorry to read you guys have to take such a loss on selling the condo. We had similar happen when we sold our old house, after almost 2 years on the market we just had to accept a low bid and sell with a loss as we couldn't really afford keeping up with 3 mortgages any longer (one on the new house, one on the old and a bridging loan). I hope that knowing you no longer have the condo to take care of and worry about will ease some of your (financial) stress at least and that in time you'll be able to built up your savings again. I don't have a clue on US insurance stuff so no advice there but I do hope you'll find a way to be able to afford some more treatement sweetie.
AFM, struggling on several levels here atm. Even though I originally hadn't even expected to cycle this month due to the adhesions recurrence, when we got to burn the bench early I felt crazy silly hopeful for this cycle somehow. I think because of some comments made by my ob, though in hindsight I guess she was just trying to be positive. Wasn't gonne test until 14dpo (I have to test prior to my procedure later this week to rule out pregnancy) but uhm yeah caved in on Friday and got a BFN. I started spotting today so I at least won't have to waste another hpt later this week.... I don't want to be that girl who cries because she's got a BFN/AF/isn't pregnant, but when I started spotting today I just kind of lost it for a moment there *sighs*
Sooo Thursday I have my second procedure of this round for my adhesions and we also start our RE testing (or well, we have our initial appointment and since I'll be cd2 /3 I hope to get some BW done right away). I guess there really is no escape no more this time lol .. we've been at this point twice before, in January '15 we got our surprise BFP literarlly the day after we had decided to put in the phonecall and this fall we had to postpone due to MHs back issues. I guess I subconsciously had hoped something positive would come up and make it unnecessary this time again;) Sometimes I wonder what use any RE testing is as long as my ute is f*cked up, but I guess it's good to have it all sorted in case my ute gets with the program eventually?
muscari, lots of (((hugs))), I'm sorry to hear about the bfn. I know it's stressful and a hard step to start working with a RE, but after our first meeting, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was now somebody else's responsibility to get me pregnant! I hope you feel the same way too.
Thanks for the hugs renegadewhit and grneyes And yes grneyes, it does feel like that a bit - I felt like that sort of after getting diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome, and probably will even more so once we finish testing and have a complete picture. And I hope it'll bring some peace or such eventually but right now it feels stressfull still. I just hope that we won't get anything added to our dx heh. IUAs suck enough as it is tbh!
muscari, I'm so sorry for the BFN and for what it's worth I cry over negative tests more than I care to admit. No matter how long you've been trying there's always that nagging hope. I hope the RE is able to help you come up with a plan you feel good about. ((Hugs))
muscari , I'm so sorry for the BFN and for what it's worth I cry over negative tests more than I care to admit. No matter how long you've been trying there's always that nagging hope. I hope the RE is able to help you come up with a plan you feel good about. ((Hugs))
I know it's okay to cry over a BFN -and I know i'm not the only one, but it's definitely good to hear someone say so outloud *smiles* *hugs* And I didn't mean it in a bad way when I said I didn't want to be that girl who does that (I hope/suppose you know that!) .. it's just.. mergh I just felt so stupid for being hopeful I guess (but know I'm too hard on myself then). Like I should know better after all this time or something. Before the MMC this never happened, but man it's been such a game changer, both physically as emotionally!
muscari , I'm so sorry for the BFN and for what it's worth I cry over negative tests more than I care to admit. No matter how long you've been trying there's always that nagging hope. I hope the RE is able to help you come up with a plan you feel good about. ((Hugs))
I know it's okay to cry over a BFN -and I know i'm not the only one, but it's definitely good to hear someone say so outloud *smiles* *hugs* And I didn't mean it in a bad way when I said I didn't want to be that girl who does that (I hope/suppose you know that!) .. it's just.. mergh I just felt so stupid for being hopeful I guess (but know I'm too hard on myself then). Like I should know better after all this time or something. Before the MMC this never happened, but man it's been such a game changer, both physically as emotionally!
Of course I knew how you meant it, just wanted to reassure you that you're not alone in being hopeful despite the odds. I think we all can relate to a loss being such a game changer in every way. ((Hugs))
crimpgirl, (((Hugs))), I get it, it's really hard to be on the boards sometimes. Excited for you to start the new job, I hope you really like it! See how you feel when the time comes about pursuing infertility treatment, it is nice to have a break from all the stress of ttc.
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.