Although we are a smaller group it seems as though we have an unfair amount of us who have not had an easy journey. This weekly thread is to get out your thoughts and release your fears in a safe area. Trigger warnings are not necessary when speaking of your history.
Please let me know if anything needs to be removed or added, my hope is to let this thread evolve into something that benefits us all. ************************** If you are new to this thread and feel comfortable sharing, please include a brief history that the group can reference as we get to know each other.
How far along are you?
How are you doing physically? Mentally?
Any appointments this week?
Any questions, comments, or topics you would like to discuss this week?
QOTW: What are you doing everyday for yourself to reduce your anxiety? What would you like to be doing?
Although we are a smaller group it seems as though we have an unfair amount of us who have not had an easy journey. This weekly thread is to get out your thoughts and release your fears in a safe area. Trigger warnings are not necessary when speaking of your history.
Please let me know if anything needs to be removed or added, my hope is to let this thread evolve into something that benefits us all. **************************
How far along are you?
How are you doing physically? Mentally?
Any appointments this week?
Any questions, comments, or topics you would like to discuss this week?
QOTW: What are you doing everyday for yourself to reduce your anxiety? What would you like to be doing?
sophiegrace, re: the bolded -- my suggestion would be to include a brief loss/IF history, at least until the board fills out a bit more and the group gets to know each other. That way, we don't have to refer back to earlier posts or to siggies to understand someone's journey. (I might have answered differently in my initial reply to you yesterday, for example, if I had instantly remembered your story. Not that it was a PgAL/PAIF thread, but I think you know what I mean.) People don't *have* to share, but if they want to, it gives a greater understanding of the journey and struggles, IMO.
How are you doing physically? Mentally? Doing good so far
Any appointments this week? Appt with the NP at my OB's office on Thursday. Probably just to discuss a plan for the remaining betas and viability ultrasound around 7 weeks.
Any questions, comments, or topics you would like to discuss this week? Nope
QOTW: What are you doing everyday for yourself to reduce your anxiety? What would you like to be doing? I am not doing anything specific. My success rate for pregnancies is only 25% right now -- not including chemical pregnancies, if I included those it would be lower, ugh -- so I've just decided to enjoy it while I can.
Post by sophiegrace on Mar 8, 2016 13:42:04 GMT -5
My history: Started TTC August 2014. First BFP April '15, due date of December '15. Uncomplicated pregnancy until 20 wk anatomy scan. Our son Cooper was born sleeping 25 weeks from cord compression secondary to anhydramnios (stemming from LUTO). This BFP was from my 6th cycle AL.
How far along are you? 5 weeks today
How are you doing physically? I think the symptoms are trying to decide if they want to play. My blood sugar has been hard to keep up the past couple of days yet more than a few bites of food sets my gag reflex off. Mentally? Today is a good day and I'm thankful for it.
Any Q/C/T? Yes. Caffeine. What are your opinions on it? Sticking to the under 200 mg guideline or none at all?
QOTW: Mantras, Barre3, still peeing on Wondfos, and keeping a constant dialogue in my head reminding myself that this pregnancy is its own and past occurrences do not guarantee the same outcome. I wish I could start my pregnancy book. It's something I regret not doing last time, but I can't get myself to do it just in case.
Post by legitlizard on Mar 8, 2016 13:48:24 GMT -5
Backstory: Our plan was to start TTC back in Sep 14 but I got really sick from a Crohn's Disease flare up. I spent most of the year in the hospital (colon resection, temporary ileostomy, PICC line, etc.). It was a tough time! When I started feeling healthy last year we started trying again. After trying for about a year we got a BFP Jan 15 but unfortunatley it ended in an early loss. It was such a spirit killer after trying for so long! Luckily, we got a positive BFP this month! To keep the Crohn's under control I have to take prednisone, iron infusions and a biologic during the first trimester. The risk that comes with being on steriods is making me nervous!
How far along are you? 5.3 weeks
How are you doing physically? Mentally? Physically I am doing pretty good. Some exhaustion and cramping. I am mentally doing so much better this week. I am trying to focus on the positive.
Any appointments this week? Just iron infusion
Any questions, comments, or topics you would like to discuss this week? No
QOTW: What are you doing everyday for yourself to reduce your anxiety? What would you like to be doing? I have been using positive affirmations. I also scheduled my first therapy appointment for the Friday. I have been wanting (needing!) to do this for a while so I am glad it's happening! I also love yoga and zumba to de-stress
History: I loss, 1 living child, 1 current pregnancy BFP #1 6/16/13. EDD 3/2/14 Saw HB on US 7/15/13. Started spotting 8/23/13. Discovered MMC 8/26/13. I should've been 13 weeks, but baby passed at 9weeks. BFP #2 11/16/13 EDD 8/3/14. DS born 8/1/14 BFP #3 3/2/16 EDD 11/16/16 (super weird because #1 was due 3/2 and I found out I was pregnant with DS on 11/16)
How far along are you? 3w6d
How are you doing physically? Mentally? Doing ok so far. I'm exhausted, hungry, and crampy. I probably have 20 bfp tests and I can't stop peeing on them to compare lines. I'm trying to stay positive.
Any appointments this week? Had my confirmation yesterday, but the dr talked me out of doing betas. It was a dr I hadn't seen before, and he feels like it can cause more anxiety. He said he sees numbers that don't do what they're supposed to do, but then the baby is fine. He said if I start having bleeding or other worries that we can do them then. I have an US planned at 6w5d. That's about a week earlier than I've ever had one. So I'm not sure how I feel about that. Do I want to keep it for then or push it back a week? I think if I pushed it back the anticipation would kill me though.
Any questions, comments, or topics you would like to discuss this week? can't think of anything
QOTW: What are you doing everyday for yourself to reduce your anxiety? What would you like to be doing? I'm just trying to keep my mind occupied with other things mostly. I'm also trying to just appreciate this one in the moment. Regardless of whether I get to take this one home or not, it deserves my happiness and excitement.
sophiegrace , I'll try to make this a short version. I have idiopathic hypersomnia, which basically means I'm sleepy almost all the time and I get overwhelming urges to nap. I stopped taking my medicine for it when I had by first BFP, and I haven't taken it since. (when I'm done having kids/nursing I will start it again).
The past 7 months or so I've had to start drinking coffee again. Before this BFP I was drinking 3+ cups a day. I haven't had any coffee, and I'll probably switch to caffeine free drinks (aside from the occasional sweet tea). I know that it can be ok in moderation, but personally I'm trying to stay away from it. Hopefully, DH won't expect me to get anything done this pregnancy.
**** possible current loss***** How far along? 5 wk 5d History: started TTC Dec 12, BFP #1 2/13 EDD 11/13 ended in mc at 8 wks. BFP #2 Sept 13, ended in mc at 5 weeks. Blood work showed MTHFR mutation, began aspirin and folic acid regimine. BFP #3 12/13, DD born 8/14. This pregnancy was unexpected so I had not began my aspirin folic acid. My spotting has become heavy bleeding with clots, I go for beta #2 tomorrow.
I don't have too much to add, I hope I get to stick around but it's not looking good right now.
History: I loss, 1 living child, 1 current pregnancy BFP #1 6/16/13. EDD 3/2/14 Saw HB on US 7/15/13. Started spotting 8/23/13. Discovered MMC 8/26/13. I should've been 13 weeks, but baby passed at 9weeks.
Any appointments this week? Had my confirmation yesterday, but the dr talked me out of doing betas. It was a dr I hadn't seen before, and he feels like it can cause more anxiety. He said he sees numbers that don't do what they're supposed to do, but then the baby is fine. He said if I start having bleeding or other worries that we can do them then. I have an US planned at 6w5d. That's about a week earlier than I've ever had one. So I'm not sure how I feel about that. Do I want to keep it for then or push it back a week? I think if I pushed it back the anticipation would kill me though.
So here's my two cents, robinbird. If you had betas done for the first pregnancy, it would have showed a normal pregnancy. Betas are typically done before 6 weeks, and since you saw a heartbeat, they would have almost certainly been within a normal range. I think the doctor made the right call for your situation. I would keep the 6w5d appt. You can always schedule another one the next week if need be.
Here's my story and feeling about betas... I also had a mmc (1st pregnancy) that was discovered a bit earlier, at 9.5 weeks. For my 2nd pregnancy, I had betas only because I was seeing an RE and that was their protocol after a procedure (I had an IUI). That one resulted in one success and one vanishing twin. The third pregnancy, I didn't ask for betas because I felt like the first one could have been a fluke and vanishing twins are not very uncommon. I did ask for betas this time, the 4th pregnancy, because I miscarried somewhere around 5.5-6 weeks with my third pregnancy. So if there is an issue early on, we'll have more time to figure out if we can do the RPL testing. (All of that being said, I am very hopeful about this pregnancy.)
Anyway, betas can only do so much. That's really what I'm trying to say.
**** possible current loss***** How far along? 5 wk 5d History: started TTC Dec 12, BFP #1 2/13 EDD 11/13 ended in mc at 8 wks. BFP #2 Sept 13, ended in mc at 5 weeks. Blood work showed MTHFR mutation, began aspirin and folic acid regimine. BFP #3 12/13, DD born 8/14. This pregnancy was unexpected so I had not began my aspirin folic acid. My spotting has become heavy bleeding with clots, I go for beta #2 tomorrow.
I don't have too much to add, I hope I get to stick around but it's not looking good right now.
Post by sophiegrace on Mar 8, 2016 16:23:29 GMT -5
tgrimes1980 I know exactly what you mean about the nausea helping with the anxiety. I feel the same way.
peanutmuse you'll be in my T&Ps until this pregnancy is successful and that success rate goes up a bit as a result. It's unfair that the pure joy and elation that should come with a BFP and the following months is now replaced with fear and uncertainty. Thank you for your words yesterday and what you said below to other posters. I'm just going to schedule my normal dating exam at 9 weeks and stop calling/getting upset about that beta situation. In your case I can see where it's even medically necessary, but for me it was causing more anxiety than I think it would have helped.
Post by sophiegrace on Mar 8, 2016 16:32:07 GMT -5
legitlizard that's quite the scary and tumultuous journey you've been on to get here. I hope the meds keep the Crohn's in check. Pregnancy is hard enough. Will they set you up with an MFM to keep an extra eye on things?
robinbird those dates lining up are pretty cool. Fate? I can't stop peeing on sticks either! I bought a 100 pack of Wondfos last month so....lol. I say keep the appt you already have. Talk to your doctor once you are there, maybe they'll be willing to bring you back? Thank you for answering about the caffeine. And now I never want to complain about being sleepy again! I want a cup of coffee so bad and then feel guilty for wanting it.
sophiegrace I'm stick to the under 200mg. With DD, I immediately switched to decaf coffee, but my migraines were horrible. So, I fill my cup with 75% decaf & then 25% of regular. It sucks to make 2 pots every day but it did help my headaches some.
That's a great idea! I tried decaf and it tasted like dishwater. The only caffeine I normally had was one cup of light roast first thing in the morning and just cutting that has given me such a brain fog and background headache.
peanutmuse you'll be in my T&Ps until this pregnancy is successful and that success rate goes up a bit as a result. It's unfair that the pure joy and elation that should come with a BFP and the following months is now replaced with fear and uncertainty. Thank you for your words yesterday and what you said below to other posters. I'm just going to schedule my normal dating exam at 9 weeks and stop calling/getting upset about that beta situation. In your case I can see where it's even medically necessary, but for me it was causing more anxiety than I think it would have helped.
Yes, absolutely, I agree that betas can be very anxiety-inducing. That's why I decided not to ask for them last time. But my situation has now turned into something other that might not be bad luck or coincidence, so it's best to be prepared. I am hopeful now, though. I really am. I feel at peace, for now. I'm sure I will have bad moments. I'm just trying to enjoy it for now, though.
sophiegrace -- genuine question. Why two pots? Why not just put 75% regular and 25% decaf in the filter together? Is there a chemistry-based reason why that wouldn't work, I wonder?
sophiegrace -- genuine question. Why two pots? Why not just put 75% regular and 25% decaf in the filter together? Is there a chemistry-based reason why that wouldn't work, I wonder?
I think this question is for me.
MH would kill me if I did that to him again. I tried sneaking it in a few times thinking he wouldn't notice, but he called me out on it.
peanutmuse Thanks for sharing your story. I know my betas would've been fine during my first pregnancy. I think they just did them for some extra reassurance the last time. My 7 week ultrasound was normal the first time, too. At the time, they didn't routinely do one that early, but I was having a lot of pain in my side and they wanted to make sure I didn't have an ectopic. They did another early US with DS for more reassurance, but I didn't feel much better until I heard the HB on the doppler because I never did before. Of course, even after that I still had pgal brain through the whole thing. I guess I just like any type of reassurance that I can get, ya know? The doctor said if I really wanted them this time he'd do it, but I figured I'd let it slide.
sophiegrace It's early, and I'm confused. What do you mean about talking to my doctor and maybe they'd bring me back? Are you talking about for another US after the one I have an appointment for?
peanutmuse Thanks for sharing your story. I know my betas would've been fine during my first pregnancy. I think they just did them for some extra reassurance the last time. My 7 week ultrasound was normal the first time, too. At the time, they didn't routinely do one that early, but I was having a lot of pain in my side and they wanted to make sure I didn't have an ectopic. They did another early US with DS for more reassurance, but I didn't feel much better until I heard the HB on the doppler because I never did before. Of course, even after that I still had pgal brain through the whole thing. I guess I just like any type of reassurance that I can get, ya know? The doctor said if I really wanted them this time he'd do it, but I figured I'd let it slide.
sophiegrace It's early, and I'm confused. What do you mean about talking to my doctor and maybe they'd bring me back? Are you talking about for another US after the one I have an appointment for?
I think that was going for. Instead of pushing back the one you already have scheduled and causing anxiety I would keep it. Idk, I'm still not awake yet I think. My words aren't coming out very well.
legitlizard that's quite the scary and tumultuous journey you've been on to get here. I hope the meds keep the Crohn's in check. Pregnancy is hard enough. Will they set you up with an MFM to keep an extra eye on things?
robinbird those dates lining up are pretty cool. Fate? I can't stop peeing on sticks either! I bought a 100 pack of Wondfos last month so....lol. I say keep the appt you already have. Talk to your doctor once you are there, maybe they'll be willing to bring you back? Thank you for answering about the caffeine. And now I never want to complain about being sleepy again! I want a cup of coffee so bad and then feel guilty for wanting it.
Thanks sophiegrace! I will be working with MFM because I'm high risk. I have my first appointment (and ultrasound!) on Monday. I can't wait!!!
Post by sophiegrace on Mar 10, 2016 10:33:28 GMT -5
So. Last night my H walked into the house after coming home from work with toolset in hand. Without pausing to say hello or take his coat off he went straight upstairs (We have a first floor master, all other bedrooms are upstairs).
I could hear what room he was in and I knew exactly what he was doing. Dresser, hutch, rocking chair, and nightstand were all able to be put together before things went bad last pregnancy, but the crib never left the box. I went up there and walked in, I must have had a look on my face because all he said to me was that he needed to do this and he'll keep the door shut until I'm ready.
I snuck up there this morning. Guys, it's beautiful. The room looks like it has hope again. I tear up every time I think about it. There's this wall I have built up so that I don't become too hopeful, too in love with this baby. But I want it. I want this so hard.
Anyway, it also made me realize...how's your H doing in all of this? It seems as though losses hit them extremely different from us. My H has been such a rock and so stoic the past few months that I didn't think to even check in with him about it.
Post by sophiegrace on Mar 10, 2016 13:26:08 GMT -5
Hi danib and welcome. You have a lot going on so you focus on you and I'll send all the happy and optimistic thoughts for your peanut your way. I hope you get to go home soon. I believe it was legitlizard who's on prednisone so hopefully that tag works (I'm mobile) and she can give you some info and peace of mind.
I got steroid shots at the end of my last pregnancy and while not the same as your situation or exact mechanism of action I remember that there wasn't that much in term of studies that proved that steroids caused a higher chance of birth defects. Long term use if correlated with lower birth wait and (I think??) chance of prematurity, but since long term corticosteroid use is used for immune issues the studies couldn't separate whether it was the mom's autoimmune issue or the medicine that caused any pregnancy issues. Either way the chances were very very small.
Post by shedreamsincolor on Mar 10, 2016 13:50:25 GMT -5
History: Hello all! Sorry to be meeting under these circumstances but grateful for a group of women who understands PGAL. Uneventful first pregnancy and my DS was born 1/14. BFP #2 in August 2015 that unfortunately resulted in a MMC at 16 weeks. Emotionally, I am still healing from it. We found out it was another boy and named him which has helped some. Unfortunately this MMC was complicated by retained products of conception and I had to take Cytotect even after having a D&C. Basically, life really sucked for about 8 weeks. Got the OK to try again and here we are with BFP #3. Praying for our rainbow and just hoping this little bean sticks!
How far along are you? 4w2d
How are you doing physically? Mentally? No real symptoms yet beside sore boobs. Trying not to read too much into it as I know I'm still really early for symptoms. Equal parts ecstatic and terrified.
Any appointments this week? Confirmation appointment is next Thursday
QOTW: What are you doing everyday for yourself to reduce your anxiety? What would you like to be doing? I started doing prenatal yoga again right away with the pregnancy. I practice most days even when not pregnant and keeping up this part of my routine is critical to keeping my anxiety in check (especially now!)
Post by sophiegrace on Mar 10, 2016 13:55:48 GMT -5
shedreamsincolor hi! I'm sorry you're here in this check in, but welcome. I started yoga only about two months ago. I've always been active so I was shocked at how difficult it was. You want me to bend what where and stay there?!! Haha. But my mind is so calm and centered afterwards. I love it.
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