Intro *LC mentioned*

[ellabee]

Hi. I'm Ellabee. I go here.

First, I'm very sorry for the losses of everyone here. I'm sad that this place exists and that you women find yourselves here, but I'm relieved to have somewhere to turn to with my experience.

DH and I found out yesterday during a scan that we lost our O16 peanut. We heard a heartbeat at 6w3d, so it's so devastating knowing there was something there that stopped growing.

I've elected to get a d&c on Monday.

I have all of these conflicting emotions right now. Part of me is so mad my body didn't get the message and take care of it naturally. Another part of me is terrified it'll happen over the weekend and I won't make it to Monday. I have anxiety every time I go to the bathroom that this'll be the time I see blood.

DH and I also had a chemical pregnancy back in December.

I'm just sad and frustrated and angry right now. Thanks for taking the time to read.


ETA: I can't figure out how to edit the title on tapatalk. I put LC trigger because I can't tell if my siggy still shows DD.

[caer]

((((Hugs))) ellabee. I was on your BMB and I'm so sorry to find out that this happened.

I had a very similar situation. Many of the feelings you described are what I felt too. I was (and am) so mad at my body. I also was terrified at that I would miscarry naturally before my D&C. Those days in between are so, so hard.

If you have any questions about the D&C or ever want to talk or vent, please PM me. I'm heartbroken for you and for everyone who has gone through this. It's just not fair. Sending you love and light.

[ellabee]

Thank you caer. I remember you from the bmb. I'm just so sad that we both have to be here.

I'm sure I'll have many more questions after Monday. Right now I feel like I'm in this sad and numb limbo until the d&c. ::sigh::

[caer]

Mar 11, 2016 15:28:50 GMT -5 ellabee said:

Thank you caer. I remember you from the bmb. I'm just so sad that we both have to be here.

I'm sure I'll have many more questions after Monday. Right now I feel like I'm in this sad and numb limbo until the d&c. ::sigh::

I completely understand that. I literally couldn't get off the couch the day after my ultrasound. That limbo is so freaking hard. I hope the next few days pass as quickly and easily for you as possible. You'll be in my thoughts. (((Hugs)))

[requiressnacks]

ellabee, I am so, so sorry for your loss. This just breaks my heart to read. My loss was similar timing and it was just so devastating. So many hugs to you and YH.

[onesweetworld]

So many hugs to you ellabee

[caer]

Thinking of you today ellabee. Sending (((hugs))) and good thoughts.

[ellabee]

Mar 14, 2016 6:40:33 GMT -5 caer said:

Thinking of you today ellabee. Sending (((hugs))) and good thoughts.

Thank you for thinking of me! D&c is scheduled for 2:20, so it's going to be a long morning just waiting around (and not being able to eat anything). I am glad I made it to today though without anything happening over the weekend.

[caer]

Mar 14, 2016 7:11:24 GMT -5 ellabee said:

Mar 14, 2016 6:40:33 GMT -5 caer said:

Thinking of you today ellabee. Sending (((hugs))) and good thoughts.

Thank you for thinking of me! D&c is scheduled for 2:20, so it's going to be a long morning just waiting around (and not being able to eat anything). I am glad I made it to today though without anything happening over the weekend.

Ugh, I'm so sorry the procedure isn't until this afternoon. Hoping the day passes quickly and everything goes as smoothly and easily as possible.

[doodler]

ellabee I just saw this. Sending so much love today. I know it's too late, but I felt the exact same way you did with both of my later losses. The first time I made it to the D&C but I was a mess thinking it would happen before. This last one in January I didn't make it to the D&C. I'm glad you made it and don't have to do this at home.

Feel free to PM if you have any questions post D&C. Again, sending so much love your way today.

[ellabee]

Thanks a bunch doodler. I appreciate all the ladies here and on the TTCAL GKU thread that have shared their experiences, including you. It makes it a little less daunting knowing that others have gone through similar experiences and are now on the other side of things.

[thepax89]

I'm so sorry. Sending you lots of good thoughts. Such a late d&c!!!! Goodness.

[callmeKD]

hugs ellabee.

at my post-op appt, my OB told me that I needed to cry. it's okay to cry, don't hold it in.