I mean, with the thank you cards. I do them, cause manners... But if I already thanked you, profusely, in person. Do you really need to see it in writing? Save the earth & the card that's going to end up in the trash in a few weeks anyway!!!
(Also patting myself in the back for dividing June 16 finally)
I feel ya Andrea! Some people really care/like getting thank you notes. I keep writing them because I'm not out to hurt anyone's feelings. Personally, I've never been in a situation where I've been thanked in person for a gift and felt like I needed something in the mail as a follow up. I think thank you notes are useful for two things: letting someone know you've received a gift you didn't give in person, and thanking them when you didn't open it in front of them. Otherwise, I don't need it. And they take me FOREVER to write because I hate doing the "thank you for blah! It was so nice to see you at my blah! We are going to use this blah all the time!" and I obsess about personalizing them and I end up writing all this "I remember back when I was a child and we went to the blah store and you bought me my first blah and Uncle Blah was still alive then and blah blah blah." So many hours spent trying to find original ways to tell people the tiny socks they gave me are cute. But that is my own fault.
Ha! I hadn't read this thread yet when I complained about thank-you notes in the randoms thread.
I was raised to always send them, so I do have an appreciation for them and will always write them for any gifts i receive. However, I'm also lazy AF, so I still complain about writing them.
I hate thank you cards too for all the reasons already mentioned. I always way overthink them and they take me forever too vivela. I don't really care if I get them from people for whom I've purchased a gift. I know you're thankful. That's because you're my friend and not an asshole. I wish thank you cards weren't a thing, but I'll begrudgingly continue to write them.
I don't like writing thank-you notes and I don't care if I don't receive one. I always thank people in person or e-mail/text if they weren't there. Thank-you notes aren't super important in my area. It seems like the only people who really appreciate them are my older relatives. Most people around here don't send thank-you notes. I've only ever received a handful.
I guess I will give an UO and say that it bugs me when I don't get a thank you note! Maybe it's a regional thing. Usually it is when I send a gift to someone and I have no clue if they got it or not. Also, I sign up to bring meals to people in my church a lot who just had a baby. I definitely don't expect a thank you note, but I do wish they would send a thank you text or something after I spend hours making the meal and delivering it! That probably makes me sound demanding, haha!
I will say that's my family members will send thank you emails to each other, which is nice! Much easier. But in Texas, it's definitely a courtesy to send thank you notes in general.
Post by frecklesnbrains on May 5, 2016 19:55:11 GMT -5
I'm also a fan of thank you notes. At the very least to acknowledge that the gift was received. I hate it when I send something and never hear anything because I worry that it wasn't received. It doesn't have to be written and mailed - an email or phone call works just as well in many cases!
I think it's different when gifts are mailed or delivered by someone else. But if I give/receive the gift in person, I still vote pointless. I see gift giving as something I'm choosing to do, not trying to be acknowledged for doing. Does that make sense?
I'm in NC and it's totally the norm here too, FOR EVERYTHING.
I hate thank you cards. LOATHE THEM. I know you know I love you & that I am so thankful for the present you got us.
And I know that you know that I know that you love me and are thankful for the present I got you.
Let's make a deal as friends not to write them. Ever.
I 100% agree with this. I had a huge shower for DD1 but it was only my side because my Jewish husband's family doesn't do baby showers (Jewish thing MIL says). So I had to write like 60 thank yous then after I brought home a brand new baby his whole side of the family started with the gifts and I had to write a bunch more while sleep deprived and still healing. I HATED a every second and wished people would just stop buying things. I would literally rather not get the gifts than have to write thank yous! Wow I sound like a terrible person.
I feel ya Andrea! Some people really care/like getting thank you notes. I keep writing them because I'm not out to hurt anyone's feelings. Personally, I've never been in a situation where I've been thanked in person for a gift and felt like I needed something in the mail as a follow up. I think thank you notes are useful for two things: letting someone know you've received a gift you didn't give in person, and thanking them when you didn't open it in front of them. Otherwise, I don't need it. And they take me FOREVER to write because I hate doing the "thank you for blah! It was so nice to see you at my blah! We are going to use this blah all the time!" and I obsess about personalizing them and I end up writing all this "I remember back when I was a child and we went to the blah store and you bought me my first blah and Uncle Blah was still alive then and blah blah blah." So many hours spent trying to find original ways to tell people the tiny socks they gave me are cute. But that is my own fault.
I am the same way about personalizing and that probsbly triggers my thank you hate. I feel bad but I literally read it and toss it in the trash when I get one so I know others are doing the same and when it took 10 minutes to write that's just such a waste.
I have another one. I do not mind writing my own address on the envelopes. It's a common thing to do where I'm from in OH but seems frowned upon elsewhere. We always do it at showers and the. Use those as like the raffle for getting the prizes (instead of games). Also then when my mom and I go in on a gift we can put our names one 1 envelope and save the person a card to write. Of course I think of that since I just wrote how much I hate writing them. My mom likes to receive then and expects it so I let it go to her house. Problem solved!
Post by ArgyleEnigma on May 5, 2016 21:37:18 GMT -5
For gifts enthusiastically received in person, thank you notes are required only for special gifts. "Special" means anything something anyone spent time/effort on (such as txmommy14's meals) and all gifts at a special in-my-honor anything (including all showers and wedding gifts).
Right there with you! I appreciate thank you notes. Yes they can be a pain to write, but I feel like it is definitely worth it to acknowledge someone that spent time and money buying you something.
Totally agree. If someone bothered to spend time and money getting me a gift, then I can take 60 seconds to them to write a thank you note. DD, who is 2, already has her own stationary for this purpose. I write a note on one side, and she draws a picture on the back.
Okay, that's the cutest idea. (I cannot freaking wait until I can do that with my kid! wow, am I actually looking forward to writing thank you cards?)
Post by frecklesnbrains on May 5, 2016 22:54:59 GMT -5
GOmamab15, boo Well, I guess it was just a pipe dream anyway. The truth is my next car will probably be a crossover/small SUV. But my DH will keep an uber-fuel-efficient small car for commuting.
GOmamab15 , boo Well, I guess it was just a pipe dream anyway. The truth is my next car will probably be a crossover/small SUV. But my DH will keep an uber-fuel-efficient small car for commuting.
Your kid will appreciate the cooler ride anyways. SUV > Tesla
babyzebra, ArgyleEnigma and andrea you're right. I'm guilty of some comments or thoughts of "you're not a parent you have no idea", but you're right, I also have no idea what is going on in their life or how it impacts them. I've admittedly been worse before I was a mom. Thank you for that reminder about perspective. It really made me think and realize.
babyzebra, ArgyleEnigma and andrea you're right. I'm guilty of some comments or thoughts of "you're not a parent you have no idea", but you're right, I also have no idea what is going on in their life or how it impacts them. I've admittedly been worse before I was a mom. Thank you for that reminder about perspective. It really made me think and realize.
I think almost everyone is guilty of comments like that, whether about being a parent or something else.
I have to admit that empathy is not really something that comes very easily or naturally to me. I've had to work really hard to try to become a more empathetic person. I'm still very much a work in progress!
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