5 years TTC 2 c/p's 2 failed IUIs/1 cancelled IVF 1 failed IVF 1 failed FET BFP 12/1/15. We said goodbye to Tiny 1/4/16 Fresh cycle #3 2/16 8R/7M/5F BFP 5/12/16 We said goodbye to flutter on 5/27 and poprock on 5/28 BFP 8/30/16 We said goodbye to Samuel 10/3 (Trisomy 16) Moving on to Donor Embryos BFP 12/20/16 We said goodbye to Turtle 12/30
Confronting fears head-on: This thread motivated me to just now ask my doctor whether she will do a VBAC. At my annual last year I asked her this and she said she did them all the time when she was in a practice with other docs but wasn't sure she would do them now as a sole practitioner since you need to be on-call 24/7. She told me to get back to her when I'm KU, which I had not done until now since I'm still under the care of an RE.
I hope I hear back soon! I asked for recommendations to a good VBAC doc in my area if she says no. I think I will also call the birth center (midwives) because even though I know they won't do them, they may know someone.
Sorry for the word vomit and thanks for the push!!
OK, your bravery pushed me to email a therapist who specializes in pregnancy loss to talk to her. I'm realizing that I don't want to be this anxious, and I'd like some strategies to handle all of the emotions that are coming with this pregnancy. So, bravery fistbump!
Total bravery fistbump and an awesome first step! I'm proud of you!
Late to this discussion, and I feel a little weird posting in here just because I know my fears are nothing compared to what all of the PGAL mamas are going through, but here are my current anxieties:
1. I've over-exerted myself a few times this week - trying to learn a new wrap hold, lifting a 45 lb. bag of dog food, and twisting weird when I picked up DS. I felt a pull in my general baby-making area on the last one and I keep worrying that I'm doing something to hurt the baby just by doing what I have to do every day.
2. I have Protein C deficiency (blood clotting disorder). Last time, I had to take Lovenox shots for 6 weeks postpartum to prevent blood clots. I'm worried they'll want to put me on the shots the whole pregnancy this time. They're ridiculously expensive, they burn like hell, and I'd have to be taken off the meds and induced, which will throw my "attempt at a natural birth" thing completely out the window.
3. Last time, I suffered from some pretty significant PPD, but I never got help and I was just angry, depressed, and miserable for the first year of my son's life. I'm worried that will happen again.
Late to this discussion, and I feel a little weird posting in here just because I know my fears are nothing compared to what all of the PGAL mamas are going through, but here are my current anxieties:
1. I've over-exerted myself a few times this week - trying to learn a new wrap hold, lifting a 45 lb. bag of dog food, and twisting weird when I picked up DS. I felt a pull in my general baby-making area on the last one and I keep worrying that I'm doing something to hurt the baby just by doing what I have to do every day.
2. I have Protein C deficiency (blood clotting disorder). Last time, I had to take Lovenox shots for 6 weeks postpartum to prevent blood clots. I'm worried they'll want to put me on the shots the whole pregnancy this time. They're ridiculously expensive, they burn like hell, and I'd have to be taken off the meds and induced, which will throw my "attempt at a natural birth" thing completely out the window.
3. Last time, I suffered from some pretty significant PPD, but I never got help and I was just angry, depressed, and miserable for the first year of my son's life. I'm worried that will happen again.
Big hugs lady
In response:
1. My job occasionally requires filing in a storage unit that isn't organized and uses boxes instead of cabinets which means lifting 30lbs every time I need one moved and I hate knowing I should say something to my manager because I don't want work people knowing I'm preggo (nothing is kept secret there; gossip spreads like wildfire). DS isn't quite 30lbs yet but I am noticing how heavy he seems and I dread not being able to pick him up. It's awful having to adjust to a new normal :/
2. That sounds awful! A friend of mine had to deal with the same thing her last pregnancy which seemed super miserable.
3. I had PPD, too, but it didn't hit until around 5-6 months PP so I didn't realize that's what it was and I was so miserable for so long until I got on some medication. I felt so guilty for having zero patience with DS There were a lot of tears.
Late to this discussion, and I feel a little weird posting in here just because I know my fears are nothing compared to what all of the PGAL mamas are going through, but here are my current anxieties:
1. I've over-exerted myself a few times this week - trying to learn a new wrap hold, lifting a 45 lb. bag of dog food, and twisting weird when I picked up DS. I felt a pull in my general baby-making area on the last one and I keep worrying that I'm doing something to hurt the baby just by doing what I have to do every day.
2. I have Protein C deficiency (blood clotting disorder). Last time, I had to take Lovenox shots for 6 weeks postpartum to prevent blood clots. I'm worried they'll want to put me on the shots the whole pregnancy this time. They're ridiculously expensive, they burn like hell, and I'd have to be taken off the meds and induced, which will throw my "attempt at a natural birth" thing completely out the window.
3. Last time, I suffered from some pretty significant PPD, but I never got help and I was just angry, depressed, and miserable for the first year of my son's life. I'm worried that will happen again.
I don't mean to brush aside your fears, but my brain froze at the mention of wrapping. What were you trying to do?
Late to this discussion, and I feel a little weird posting in here just because I know my fears are nothing compared to what all of the PGAL mamas are going through, but here are my current anxieties:
1. I've over-exerted myself a few times this week - trying to learn a new wrap hold, lifting a 45 lb. bag of dog food, and twisting weird when I picked up DS. I felt a pull in my general baby-making area on the last one and I keep worrying that I'm doing something to hurt the baby just by doing what I have to do every day.
2. I have Protein C deficiency (blood clotting disorder). Last time, I had to take Lovenox shots for 6 weeks postpartum to prevent blood clots. I'm worried they'll want to put me on the shots the whole pregnancy this time. They're ridiculously expensive, they burn like hell, and I'd have to be taken off the meds and induced, which will throw my "attempt at a natural birth" thing completely out the window.
3. Last time, I suffered from some pretty significant PPD, but I never got help and I was just angry, depressed, and miserable for the first year of my son's life. I'm worried that will happen again.
And now that I'm reading the rest of your post, I want to give all the hugs. No, you haven't suffered a loss, but these are all very significant things and very valid fears to have, so no minimizing them! Keep talking about things. I think it helps.
I'm not having that much nausea or even sore boobs. I know it's still early and I keep reminding myself of that. With DD, my symptoms would come and go in the first 6/7 weeks then they hit hard until about 15 weeks. I know not all pregnancies are the same, but still I'd just like some nausea, lol.
My only symptom hanging around is that I'm starving all the time. Which I did have with DD in the very beginning.
Late to this discussion, and I feel a little weird posting in here just because I know my fears are nothing compared to what all of the PGAL mamas are going through, but here are my current anxieties:
1. I've over-exerted myself a few times this week - trying to learn a new wrap hold, lifting a 45 lb. bag of dog food, and twisting weird when I picked up DS. I felt a pull in my general baby-making area on the last one and I keep worrying that I'm doing something to hurt the baby just by doing what I have to do every day.
2. I have Protein C deficiency (blood clotting disorder). Last time, I had to take Lovenox shots for 6 weeks postpartum to prevent blood clots. I'm worried they'll want to put me on the shots the whole pregnancy this time. They're ridiculously expensive, they burn like hell, and I'd have to be taken off the meds and induced, which will throw my "attempt at a natural birth" thing completely out the window.
3. Last time, I suffered from some pretty significant PPD, but I never got help and I was just angry, depressed, and miserable for the first year of my son's life. I'm worried that will happen again.
I don't mean to brush aside your fears, but my brain froze at the mention of wrapping. What were you trying to do?
It was just a reinforced ruck ... I just got a new base-2 and wanted to try and learn holds with shorter wraps but I mostly suck at creating a seat when back wrapping.
So that nausea I wanted? Definitely got it today. And for some crazy idea I decided to take another test, because my first tests were so faintly positive...and voilà big, dark, second pink line that appeared in 1 second..so I think I can calm down now.
This is going to sound silly but when I'm pg, my dog is all over me. He was when I had DS and with one of my losses. He was all over me before I went OOT but since I've been back, hasn't been that interested in me. Plus my nausea seems to have disappeared this morning. I know that symptoms can come and go but it's not helping my PgAL brain.
I don't mean to brush aside your fears, but my brain froze at the mention of wrapping. What were you trying to do?
It was just a reinforced ruck ... I just got a new base-2 and wanted to try and learn holds with shorter wraps but I mostly suck at creating a seat when back wrapping.
Well, I can see we are definitely going to have to have some wrapping threads around here! I've got a little wiggle worm who makes back wrapping tough too!
It was just a reinforced ruck ... I just got a new base-2 and wanted to try and learn holds with shorter wraps but I mostly suck at creating a seat when back wrapping.
Well, I can see we are definitely going to have to have some wrapping threads around here! I've got a little wiggle worm who makes back wrapping tough too!
Well, I can see we are definitely going to have to have some wrapping threads around here! I've got a little wiggle worm who makes back wrapping tough too!
Wrapper here too
really really really want to learn to do this. I used a Moby with DS and loved it til he got too big for stretchy wraps, so I never got very creative with different holds. +1 to wrap threads.
geekmama the only wrap I was ever able to use was the newborn hug and cross carry. This time I have that and a RS and a Tula. So excited because DS loves the Tula
Hugs for all your fears Hun.
The pulling feeling was probably RLP, I just had it the other day when I sneezed, I think it's easier to feel that each time your pregnant.
Hugs. I'm so sorry for your ppd and your expensive meds and possibly not getting the birth that you want. I can imagine how frustrating that would be.
Well, I can see we are definitely going to have to have some wrapping threads around here! I've got a little wiggle worm who makes back wrapping tough too!
Wrapper here too
Ring sling and SSC's for me. I own one wrap but I never broke it in... I can't wait to give wrapping a shot with this baby.
It was just a reinforced ruck ... I just got a new base-2 and wanted to try and learn holds with shorter wraps but I mostly suck at creating a seat when back wrapping.
So DH and I were up til midnight admiring the patio furniture we put together last night for our enclosed porch, hence my tired see you tomorrow post earlier on. I really shouldn't stay up that late... So tired...
Anyway, I've felt "off" enough in terms of appetite for the past couple weeks that I felt a bit reassured, but have been fine for the past day or two, so I find myself looking for other modes of reassurance. My betas only ever got to about 2000 with my loss, so now that I'm over 6000, I've found that's helped me tell my brain that we're over some sort of hump, though my loss was at seven weeks so now that I'm 6+3... Let's just say it's given me a new reason to flip out his week.
For my loss, we saw a HB at 6 weeks, then none at 7, so I'm skeptical about the first HB being reassuring. I keep telling myself that I'll be further along for the first scan this time but I'm still praying with everything I have for a good scan on Wednesday.
For the past few weeks it's been hard to let go of the fear - every time I talk about baby plans or prep with DH I find myself talking in conditionals - "if this works out, then we can do x with the nursery" - etc. I've tried to stop doing that but it's tough. Love love love the "today I am pregnant" mantra, and the one about today's happiness (I'd tag you guys but mobile) - may have to steal those.
Also this might be TMI, but one of the stupidest mindf*cks? For my loss, I started bleeding when DH and I had sex. I know my OB says that wasn't a cause, and it probably just triggered the bleeding, but I was TERRIFIED to have sex for the last couple of weeks. DH finally figured it out when I turned him down a couple times in a row and was supportive, but I still felt kind of bad/dumb/still terrified. I finally Just said, I need to do this, logically it didn't have anything to do with my loss, and it's been totally fine, no bleeding, which I guess makes me feel a little better. But man. Get with it, brain.
Anyway, if you've read to the end of all this, you get a cookie. Summary is, I feel like I'm doing a little better this week with the good betas, but I just want a good scan this week, and to get past 7w.
irish14 hugs. Crossing everything for your scan weds, and try to focus on those great betas. I'm so glad YH gets it, and yay for getting out of your head and just doing it. Good way to choose hope over fear.
Joining in... I'm 6w5d and was feeling apprehensive as I had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks last year. This time my first-class appointment is at 8 weeks so I have just been trying to not think about it too much.
But as of two hours ago I have started cramping and spotting so now I'm really worried. I called the obgyn office and they gave me an appointment on Monday. I asked H to buy hpts so I can test during the weekend. I'm sitting at work stressed out and unable to talk about it and it's going to be the same at home as MIL is visiting.
Post by peaseblossom55 on May 20, 2016 9:49:03 GMT -5
Waffles, sorry I hope the spotting is no big deal. I'm glad they were able to get you in for an earlier appointment
irish14, so many hugs to you. I keep using the "if" as well with anything regarding this pregnancy I'm trying so hard not to but it's really self protection at this point.
Waffles hugs, I'm sorry. Fx it's just a little spotting and nothing to worry about. I spotted with 3 of my babies, one was bright red and it was just a little uterine bleeding. T&p's
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