Help me win this argument

[aaemommy]

So Cam doesn't like to be put down. Ever, but especially not at night. MH is convinced that CIO is what needs to happen.
Help me find legit articles/ studies/ whatever to convince him that 3WEEKS OLD IS TOO YOUNG FOR CIO!!!!!
Ugh.

[starrynight14]

I personally think 3 weeks is too young for CIO.

edit: I was going to add on, but looks like other posts got it covered!

[otepoti]

I agree, far to young, 4 trimester and all that.
Links away
www.preciouslittlesleep.com/too-young-to-cry-it-out/

sarahockwell-smith.com/2012/11/04/the-fourth-trimester-aka-why-your-newborn-baby-is-only-happy-in-your-arms/

[annapunkalunka]

Just tell him no. Because we said so.

[Deleted]

Yeah....no. We went through this with DD too. I think it was harder than w DS because if I am stuck under the baby he is alone wrangling the toddler.

[Courtniko]

Yeah, 3 weeks is way too young. They can not self sooth at that age, just feel alone and abandoned.

[aaemommy]

Haha! I like your answer annapunkalunka! Thanks for the validation. I know it's way too young. I tried to explain it like Courtniko said and H just said he didn't think that "was a real thing."
So basically I'm looking for some resources from reputable sources to show him so he knows it really is too early. I think he thinks I just don't want to do it because I was always against doing it with A (who didn't really need it until he was much, much older).
Edit tags

[mrsnorris]

May 22, 2016 6:51:39 GMT -5 annapunkalunka said:

Just tell him no. Because we said so.

How could anyone need a higher medical authority than A14???
More seriously could you talk to your pediatrician? I assume he/she would veto that idea at this age.

[aaemommy]

Good idea mrsnorris! I'll call her tomorrow!

[Courtniko]

I'm pretty sure that Happiest Baby on the Block talked about the 4th trimester, and the fact that for 9 months baby has been carried non stop, so any time not being held is hard on them.
Even in the Ferber book he does not recommend this early. You could probably look up Ferber. Not sure what kind of resources he wants, I am sure there are a ton of Internet articles you could quickly find.

ETA just a quick look up of Ferber says emotionally and physically ready between 3 and 5 months

[gratefulgirl]

I can't remember the source they quoted, but the book Bedtiming said that babies under 4 months who cry for more than about 5-10 minutes will continue to cry themselves into a stupor in desperation. I actually had this happen once when I couldn't pull over while driving to do something about it and I felt so awful.

Even my hard-core Babywise friends who will CIO a little before 4 months would not do it at 3 weeks.

Hopefully you'll have more luck putting him down sometime between 6 and 12 weeks (even without CIO). Both my girls were more amenable to at least being set down for naps at that age, even if they wouldn't stay that way to save my life.

[skylark002]

I think you're supposed to wait until they have established object permanence...around 4 months plus.

I have heard some people say it's ok at a younger age if you stand there and shush or pat baby the whole time. Then you get the benefit without the abandonment. I'm on the fence about that one.

[sosayweall]

If I could send him a copy of Happiest Baby on the Block I would. It explains everything about the fourth trimester and if he understands that he will understand why CIO is not ok at this age. There is also a DVD.

[aaemommy]

May 22, 2016 19:51:14 GMT -5 sosayweall said:

If I could send him a copy of Happiest Baby on the Block I would. It explains everything about the fourth trimester and if he understands that he will understand why CIO is not ok at this age. There is also a DVD.

I actually just looked up this at the library! They have a copy so I'm taking the kids to toddler story hour tomorrow and going to pick it up while I'm there. Hopefully that helps!