5/23/16 check in

[becwheat]

Happy Monday!!!




Something Positive:







Goals:







Vents:







Questions for the group?:

[becwheat]

Something Positive: I got some mommy time this weekend! I got my eyebrow done, went to Ulta and had them recomend a mascara and lip color.. so it was like a mini make-over.

In bigger X related news. My boss has a BIL that is a lawyer and is branching into family law. He is/was a defense attorney so he is good at "fighting" for people. He said my case sounds retty cut and dry, but he is willing to make sure we keep X from getting visitation. Hopefully get him to give up his rights to DH.


Goals: I failed at my last goal... I still need to get the bedroom done... so I will list it again.



Vents: My supply is dropping! I need to pump more, but I have to work and I can't take 3-30min breaks during the day. I am lucky to have 2. My company is great about it, I am just super busy.



Questions for the group?: Nope!

[ontherock2012]

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[lolo918]

Something Positive:
DD and I have made it through this first year (5/24). I'm also still nursing- I wasn't sure I would be able to do this. As of today, I am also done teaching for the summer.

Goals:
Organize my room. I really want to play the sims. I also need shoes for a wedding I will be attending in June.

Vents:
I hate teething. DD sounds congested but there is next to nothing when I suction. Now she's had a fever off and on since Saturday and just a couple weeks ago had an ear infection related to runny nose that I couldn't keep clear well enough.

Questions for the group?
So DD is one and I don't really have anything planned by way of a formal party. We are going to a friends party for her DD Friday evening and this would really make work for me. Is this really something that will haunt me? I'm going to make cupcakes and do dinner with family Saturday, just not sure if I will regret not including my friends. We will see my friends at the Friday party. Between my sister and my friends kids, it would be 10 kids plus DD. I feel like DD doesn't know the difference at this age and won't care if mommy's friends and their kids are there. Then I also think that would be cool to at least have that documented- maybe starting friendships without us parents realizing.

[becwheat]

May 23, 2016 23:36:03 GMT -5 lolo918 said:

Questions for the group?
So DD is one and I don't really have anything planned by way of a formal party. We are going to a friends party for her DD Friday evening and this would really make work for me. Is this really something that will haunt me? I'm going to make cupcakes and do dinner with family Saturday, just not sure if I will regret not including my friends. We will see my friends at the Friday party. Between my sister and my friends kids, it would be 10 kids plus DD. I feel like DD doesn't know the difference at this age and won't care if mommy's friends and their kids are there. Then I also think that would be cool to at least have that documented- maybe starting friendships without us parents realizing.

DD#1 had a small party with just family. It was literally like 7 people, a simple sandwich station and cake. Not pricey and not complicated.

I have a couple pictures and it is in the baby book. 

However, I am a person that doesn't put a lot of importance on parties and big celebrations. I honestly to do not understand a big party for a 1 yr old, but that is just me.

[ontherock2012]

lolo918
There's so much variation in what's done for parties. IMO, no need to go overboard for something if you don't want to. I'm all for just cake and photos.
DD's 1st birthday was just family and a couple of my girlfriends. It was great.

[lolo918]

Thanks for the input ladies! I ended up deciding on keeping it to family. I can add in the friends plus kids later.

[fireflycaptain]

Something Positive: I passed all my classes! And am finally done with Calculus. And we have finished planting everything in the garden and got to harvest our first strawberries this morning.


Goals: Finish painting the inside of the house before summer semester starts.


Vents: Actually talked to my son's dad for the first time in a couple years. It was not a pleasant conversation. And it's kind of messed me up for the past week.

[fireflycaptain]

becwheat, fingers crossed for a fast and happy outcome in court. I can't believe his rights weren't automatically severed.

[freezorburn]

Something positive:

I'm just loving my neighborhood Facebook pages right now. Someone was looking to unload half a CY of mulch last week from their truck. I paid them $20 and they delivered it right to me. It's on a tarp in my driveway, and I'm hoping over the next week to haul it back to some of my more neglected planting beds behind my house. Gardening is so good for the soul!

Goals:

This week we are starting to divide our financial stuff into different accounts. I want to get as much done as possible this week so that it doesn't drag out. And I want to start researching tax advisors. I have a short list of names from friends and I want to google them before I start setting up appointments.

Vents:

Apparently squirrels have broken into the roof of my detached workshop. Ew. It's currently being used for storage, but I might start spending more time back there again as I get my living/working space in order.

Questions for the group?

For those who are divorced .... if you took your ex's name, did you change it back to your maiden name when you divorced? I'm so stuck on this problem. I like having the same name as DS. But I can't see keeping STBX's name after how horribly he has treated me, and continues to. But I'm not terribly attached to my maiden name, either, and going back to it feels like a step back. But it's also probably the most pragmatic solution because professionally I have used it as my middle name, so it won't be completely foreign to my colleagues if I change it back. I don't think hyphenating is a good option because then my last name would be 16 characters long (including hyphen). If it's just a name, it shouldn't be a big deal, right? But then the same could be said for STBX's name.

[jennaleigh23]

Something Positive:

I signed a lease to my own apartment and Liam and I will be moving July 1st!





Goals:
Stay on budget trying to move!







Vents:
My ex changed his hours at work and now will be seeing Liam less so instead asked for an overnight visit.






Questions for the group?:
Liam got into my first choice daycare but two months earlier than I had been expecting. Am I doing the right thing "giving up" two months of time I could be home with him in order for him to go to this daycare?

[becwheat]

jennaleigh23 : Questions for the group?:

Liam got into my first choice daycare but two months earlier than I had been expecting. Am I doing the right thing "giving up" two months of time I could be home with him in order for him to go to this daycare?

How long have you been out? Also, can you pay for the spot and still stay home with him until the 2 months are up? With as fickle as DC can be... I would want my first choice DC. That being said I would hope I could either pay to hold my spot or only take him for a part of the day and still get time with the kiddo.


freezorburn : For those who are divorced .... if you took your ex's name, did you change it back to your maiden name when you divorced? I'm so stuck on this problem. I like having the same name as DS. But I can't see keeping STBX's name after how horribly he has treated me, and continues to. But I'm not terribly attached to my maiden name, either, and going back to it feels like a step back. But it's also probably the most pragmatic solution because professionally I have used it as my middle name, so it won't be completely foreign to my colleagues if I change it back. I don't think hyphenating is a good option because then my last name would be 16 characters long (including hyphen). If it's just a name, it shouldn't be a big deal, right? But then the same could be said for STBX's name. 


I actually believe in the power of names. I did not want to be tied to the reminder of my X. That being said I am in a different situation, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. I separated before DD was born and gave her my maiden name... Now I have my current husband's last name and she still has my maiden name. We are hoping DH will adopt her or she will be able to change her name. 

I hated having to change my name 3 times in the last 6 years, but I am glad I didn't have to carry around X's name. (again DD does not have his name either...so that is also a factor)

[freezorburn]

Thanks becwheat for your perspective. You are right in that the situations are quite different. I wish I felt more clear cut about mine. I'm getting there.

jennaleigh23, is it at all possible to ease into daycare? Start with a part-time schedule, then go to full-time when according to your original plan?

[jennaleigh23]

becwheat and freezorburn thanks for the feedback! I accepted the spot, it was too good a spot to give up. And yes I talked to the director and as long as he's there for an hour, I still get to keep my spot so he will be there on more of a part time basis over the summer months. The best part is it is 5 mins from my new apartment!

[becwheat]

Jun 4, 2016 7:49:40 GMT -5 jennaleigh23 said:

becwheat and freezorburn thanks for the feedback! I accepted the spot, it was too good a spot to give up. And yes I talked to the director and as long as he's there for an hour, I still get to keep my spot so he will be there on more of a part time basis over the summer months. The best part is it is 5 mins from my new apartment!

Awesome! Take him in, take a nap, catch up on cleaning, relax in a bath, work out or whatever and go get him refreshed with no time wasted!