But sometimes I'd rather he not wake up at all vs only half waking up to "help".
(Ideally I prefer he fully wake up obviously. )
Have I told you guys my H is a sleepwalker? So I hate when he's not fully awake because I never know if he's 100% trustworthy. He'd never do something dumb on purpose but I can't fully trust him to hold he baby or do something for me
cattuccino it's not exactly the same, but my DSD is a sleepwalker, and I have similar worries. She has no idea what she's doing while not awake. I'd feel exactly the same way you're feeling about my H if he were also a sleepwalker.
3:30 and I haven't gone to sleep once yet. I take back what I said about thinking I'd get better sleep with a newborn than pregnant. I'm beyond sleep deprived. She sleeps so soundly and peacefully all day long but is so light and on edge all night. She was even awake for two hours before bed time tonight so I was so hopeful. Now she's been cluster feeding all night, too. It took me 30 mins to wake her up a few times during the day because she's so out of it. It just seems like in almost 9 days, she's going backwards on night and day confusion.
Ok, exhausted rant over. Trying to keep myself awake while she nurses.
But sometimes I'd rather he not wake up at all vs only half waking up to "help".
(Ideally I prefer he fully wake up obviously. )
Have I told you guys my H is a sleepwalker? So I hate when he's not fully awake because I never know if he's 100% trustworthy. He'd never do something dumb on purpose but I can't fully trust him to hold he baby or do something for me
That's so tough! I'm so sorry. My DH just dropped the baby a bit...granted it was only a few inches and on the bed, but I got so mad at him because I don't care how tired he is, I have to be able to trust him to hand her to me!
txmommy14 I hope with your mom and dh there tomorrow you can get a nap in. Or dd starts figuring out her day/nights. Hang in there. I so want baby to come already but I should remind myself to enjoy the last few days before he does get here.
txmommy14 I'm sorry about the day and night confusion! You have been through so much! Hugs!! FWIW I think between days 9-11ish E completely backtracked and I was up crying in the middle of the night wondering what I was doing so wrong that she was going in the opposite direction day and night wise. It did get better though and she seems to slowly be getting the hang of it... Emphasis on slowly but I feel like progress is being made. I know it is so hard with another little one, but hopefully when your mom gets there you can start getting in some daytime naps.
cattuccino that is so hard you can't trust him! I dated a sleepwalker once and it was kind of scary sometimes how you don't know if they are actually awake or not! I totally get why you wouldn't be ok with him holding the baby. It just creates more stress for you. I'm sorry.
Post by frecklesnbrains on Jun 5, 2016 8:10:50 GMT -5
txmommy14 oh sweetie I totally understand where you are. My baby will be 2 weeks tomorrow and he's cluster fed almost every night since his birth. I try to nap during the day and that helps but it makes me feel terrible and jet-lagged. My advice to you is make sure you can gauge what your breaking point is. One day I called a friend of mine, who is a pediatrician and a mother of 3, for advice. She told me to keep it up if I can, but not to be afraid to admit if I can't do it, that the most important thing is to keep myself from developing PPD. So I know you're strong, but please ask for help if you need it! I'm glad your mom is coming. Good luck!
txmommy14 oh sweetie I totally understand where you are. My baby will be 2 weeks tomorrow and he's cluster fed almost every night since his birth. I try to nap during the day and that helps but it makes me feel terrible and jet-lagged. My advice to you is make sure you can gauge what your breaking point is. One day I called a friend of mine, who is a pediatrician and a mother of 3, for advice. She told me to keep it up if I can, but not to be afraid to admit if I can't do it, that the most important thing is to keep myself from developing PPD. So I know you're strong, but please ask for help if you need it! I'm glad your mom is coming. Good luck!
That's really good advice, thanks for the encouragement! Did she suggest anything for helping them get turned back around?
txmommy14 oh sweetie I totally understand where you are. My baby will be 2 weeks tomorrow and he's cluster fed almost every night since his birth. I try to nap during the day and that helps but it makes me feel terrible and jet-lagged. My advice to you is make sure you can gauge what your breaking point is. One day I called a friend of mine, who is a pediatrician and a mother of 3, for advice. She told me to keep it up if I can, but not to be afraid to admit if I can't do it, that the most important thing is to keep myself from developing PPD. So I know you're strong, but please ask for help if you need it! I'm glad your mom is coming. Good luck!
That's really good advice, thanks for the encouragement! Did she suggest anything for helping them get turned back around?
I haven't seen much specific advice on getting them on a better day/night schedule other than trying to keep the lights as dim as possible overnight and expose them to plenty of daylight during the day. I think they all figure it out on their own schedule though. Also, I've read that cluster feeding is really common at days 8-10 or so because it's a common growth spurt. My DS is gradually getting a bit better - we've had one or two reasonable nights (with feeds every 2-3 hours instead of constantly). Of course last night was NOT one of them. It's getting a little easier. A few days ago I was ready to hand the baby over to my husband with a bottle of formula, but we stuck it out. I may still get to that point though... just taking it one day at a time.
Post by Flair Underwood on Jun 5, 2016 10:50:12 GMT -5
txmommy14, when DD was new, the advice I got for getting her days/nights in order was to start the day. Like, at 8 or 9 (whenever she was awake around then), we started a morning routine. Get her out of jammies, open curtains, sing a morning song. Then at bedtime start a bedtime routine. Change jammies, low lights, lullabies. Then overnight keep everything dark, whisper, and quiet.
It was so hard to get up and pretend to be awake and sunny, and it was hard when the dark made me want to fall asleep over night, but it really helped us. Sleep deprivation is so hard.... Good luck!!
Post by broadwaymama on Jun 5, 2016 22:39:19 GMT -5
Marley cluster fed last night and it was hell. I ended up going into the bathroom and bawling my eyes out while trying not to pass out from no sleep and little food, and then bleeding all over the floor. I'm hoping she does better tonight since we are home and I'm pretty sure my milk is starting to come in. DHs can be so annoying at this stage. I got maybe 5 hours of sleep total from the time my water broke to now and he has fallen asleep any chance he gets (currently snoring next to my whole I nurse). He says he feels bad because he can't do anything because I'm feeding her. I'm cashing in on that tomorrow and taking a looooong mid day nap!
Post by frecklesnbrains on Jun 5, 2016 23:44:26 GMT -5
broadwaymama hope Marley lets you sleep! And I'm with you on being annoyed at DH. I'm trying sooooo hard not to resent his sleeping. At least mine got the message that it's not okay for him to complain about being tired. He did that a few times the first couple of days home and I got so angry with him!
My night so far involved baby (and me) sleeping from 8-10, then he's been awake feeding and/or fussing nonstop since then. This is par for the course.... *sigh*
Add me to the "trying not to resent DH's sleeping" camp. He's had double (at least) the amount of sleep as me, and still "can't function" and comments on being too tired. I get he's tired and it's different for him and maybe even difficult to manage. But I still don't want to hear it. It's nothing compared to how I'm feeling.
Just like I don't want to hear his obnoxious snoring that he's doing right now - that I feel is going to wake LO up .
I'm with y'all. We got in bed early tonight to take advantage of DD sleeping and then I couldn't even fall asleep. I was all emotional thinking about how life is different and how hard it's going to be when I'm on my own when my mom leaves (DH is back at work tomorrow). And about all these ridiculous things-like how big DS is and looking back at pics on my phone from just last week of the two of us before she was born and feeling emotional. I'm so thankful she's here, just overwhelmed. I've never been one to do well with big changes/transitions well though.
I have a hard time turning my thoughts off to go to sleep too, txmommy14. Good luck with your DH going back to work. I know you'll do great and I'm glad your mom will be there to help ease the transition.
You know who else drives me crazy at night? My dog. He literally sleeps more hours in the day then any human or animal that I have ever known. He has always been such a loud breather and he sighs all the time, which infuriates me at night. He usually goes into our bedroom in the evenings to avoid the craziness of DS and then makes his way out to the couch where I've been sleeping for the past several months after DS is in bed. Every time during his migration he manages to bump into every single music toy and set it off. I love that guy, but he is like a bull in a china shop! A sleepy, sighing, clumsy bull!
I was just in the middle of typing that DH has been pretty great about the lack of sleep stuff when he walked into our room and announced "This is the worst ever! I can't sleep down there!" (He was going to sleep on the couch since he has to work tomorrow.) I asked what was so bad and he said there's a bird outside that won't shut up. I literally laughed in his face. No sympathy, dude.
My biggest DH annoyance lately is him complaining about aches and pains. I flat out told him and FIL yesterday that once they can utter the phrase "And then my pelvis had to fuse itself back together" then I would entertain their complaints.
babyzebra, the image of your dog "playing" with all the noisy toddler toys is making me laugh! Our dogs have been relocated to our basement at night. Don't feel too bad for them though. They have an entire finished basement to themselves, complete with a futon to sleep on. And we have two less little beings to worry about keeping us awake at night. Win win!
I was just in the middle of typing that DH has been pretty great about the lack of sleep stuff when he walked into our room and announced "This is the worst ever! I can't sleep down there!" (He was going to sleep on the couch since he has to work tomorrow.) I asked what was so bad and he said there's a bird outside that won't shut up. I literally laughed in his face. No sympathy, dude.
My biggest DH annoyance lately is him complaining about aches and pains. I flat out told him and FIL yesterday that once they can utter the phrase "And then my pelvis had to fuse itself back together" then I would entertain their complaints.
Hahaha I am with you on the aches and pains! I'm like, "uhhh my nipples are literally bleeding. No sympathy here, sorry."
Post by frecklesnbrains on Jun 6, 2016 2:54:57 GMT -5
My DH asked me when I'd be ready for sex again tonight. My response: "Do you see the size of this baby? I pushed this out of my vagina less than two weeks ago. It's gonna be a while." That shut him up
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