Inlaws pool, am I being reasonable?

[angelsnight]

My inlaws have an above ground pool.  The sides are high enough that it would be pretty difficult for a child to get in, but the entrance/ladder is right off the deck and there is no gate or anything keeping a kid from climbing the ladder and getting in the pool.

E is there all day once a week, and occasionally stays the night when we go on a date night or something.  Now that she isn't sleeping in a pack n play anymore, I want a gate leading to the pool.

E is their 8th (living) grandchild.  My one SIL has four kids and my other has two kids.  None of them apparently ever had an issue with the pool, so I am a little worried my inlaws are offended or hurt over my insistence.  I get along great with my inlaws, and I do plan to talk to them about it and reiterate (I made my husband bring it up with them) why I want it.

I asked my SIL tonight if she ever worried about it, and she said no.  She said she figured four other kids had survived just fine before hers, and it was never a concern of hers.  But my thoughts are, what if they thought she was napping, or during an overnight visit if she got up before they did, and made her way out to the pool.  I don't want them to think that I think they don't watch her, but I am sure anyone who has ever had an accident regarding a pool never thought it would happen either.

I don't think I am being unreasonable, and I am probably being paranoid about them being offended, but I just wanted others' opinions.   

[lakecountrygal]

It's not at all unreasonable. It's your child and they should understand your safety concerns as well as honor your wishes.

I think if you come at them from a concerned parent angle with some examples of situations that since you know your child they should get it. Maybe make sure that YH is going to back you first and understands your concern so that they don't go whining that your being over protective and he say they can do whatever they want.

[bsouls]

I don't have much experience with pools. But, it only takes one. Is there a way to safely lock up the stairs?

[younglove316]

I don't think you are being unreasonable. Unfortunately, all it takes is a minute and when it comes to safety, I'd rather be safe than sorry .

You could just phrase it something like you aren't sure if given the chance what DD1 would do or know not to go in but you would rather not find out.

[Deleted]

Not unreasonable. I would insist too.

[angelsnight]

Jun 12, 2016 5:05:43 GMT -5 bsouls said:

I don't have much experience with pools. But, it only takes one. Is there a way to safely lock up the stairs?

Thank you all, I just needed some reassurance that I am not being crazy or overprotective (though even if I am being overprotective, I feel like you can never be too safe around water).

Unfortunately even if the stairs could somehow be locked, the entrance is off the deck, which gives more height and she could probably pretty easily just climb over the side of the pool from the deck.  

[fish8412]

Jun 12, 2016 12:11:41 GMT -5 @babylentilbean said:

Not unreasonable. I would insist too.

+1

[RandomName]

Not unreasonable. Check tour local bi-laws. They are required by law here even if the owner doesn't have children.

I would absolutely insist. Just bc the other kids were fine doesn't mean anything. If something preventable could be prevented I'd insist.

[babycaps]

I would also insist!!!

[ellabee]

Not unreasonable at all. Stand your ground.