Check in moms of 2+

[katka512]

I'm having a hard time lately, so I thought I'd start a new check in.

Ages of your LOs?
Recent accomplishments? You and/or your LOs!
Recent challenges or questions?

[katka512]

DD1 is my M14 baby. DD2 is almost four months.

I consider DD1 potty trained at this point. She caught on really quickly and has been doing a great job. I consider that an accomplishment for us both!

Even though the potty training has gone great, I've felt really overwhelmed lately. It has taken a lot of work and a lot of time hanging out at home over the past week for me to get her fully PTed. I SAH but I usually get us out of the house quite a bit. We did a couple short outings last week, but generally were home while DD1 PTed.
When she has a tantrum and DD2 is crying, I feel like I'm losing my mind. I've yelled and feel terrible about it. This morning, I know I scared DD1 when I yelled and I feel so guilty.

DH knows I've been having a hard time and sent me out by myself for a bit this weekend and is a great help when he's home. But my days are long. I don't know what else to do to help myself. I don't want to be so stressed that I yell at my children. I don't want DD1 to see me cry and say "why are you sad?"

Sorry for rambling. I know I need help but I don't know what kind of help. Our college babysitter is gone for the summer. My parents are coming one day this week to help, but I need something longer lasting. An hour break is nice but all the stress comes right back the minute I walk back in the door. I guess I need advice on what I can do when I'm home with them by myself.

[Deleted]

katka512, when you need a break let DD1 watch a movie. It's ok to give screen time when you feel that stressed.

Do you have outside toys? I find it breaks the day up nicely if we can get outside early in the morning and late afternoon/early evening. It also helps run out some energy.

I try to have some organized play that DD and I can do one on one while L is sleeping. This is usually when we do preschool type play that is geared toward learning. I actively try to engage her and let her play with the surrounding toys as well so there is no pressure. There are a lot of good ideas for educational games on Pinterest.

Also, ((hugs)). We all go through these patches.

[Deleted]

14, 2, almost 7 months old.

Getting L to nap in his crib is my recent accomplishment.

Getting L to sleep somewhere away from me at night is my current challenge. He won't sleep longer than 45 minutes at a time in his own bed but sleeps like a rock next to me.

[katka512]

@babylentilbean thanks. dd1 does watch shows sometimes. And we definitely go outside. I try to do that when dd2 is asleep because that's easier for me. Dd1 is happiest and most entertained when she's outside.
I'll have to look for some ideas on Pinterest for indoor activities. I've been stuck lately with what to do with her inside. Dd2 doesn't hang out long before wanting to be picked up so my hands are often full. Sometimes I'll use the Ergo but I find it uncomfortable.

I'm feeling better now. We've had a good day after the early morning. I'm trying to let go of the guilt I feel from yelling...

[Deleted]

katka512, don't feel guilty. It happens. Trust me, it likely won't be the last time you yell. Sometimes the frustration is just too much and we aren't as calm and patient as we would like to be.

[lakecountrygal]

DS (my M14) is 2 and DD will be a month on Sunday

Things are going ok, we are really struggling with jealousy with DS and he's lashing out at me and DD. He won't let DH put him to bed or do anything for him and he enjoys making life impossible for me. Thankfully he's still in daycare part time and has that routine.

I don't feel like I've accomplished anything lately and the kids are both still alive as is DH even though I'm an emotional train wreck.

[younglove316]

katka512 hugs! I don't have a ton of advice because I've been feeling the same way lately but I do agree about getting out.

As for indoors, I typed in rainy day activities on Pinterest and found a lot of really good stuff. DD1 also loves to paint and color and that will keep her occupied for a little while.

[younglove316]

DD1 is 2 and DD2 just turned 7 months yesterday

I don't feel very accomplished lately other than having dinner done and on time every night lately.

Sleep. DD2 is still sleeping in the rock n play and the crib has been an epic fail every attempt. Plus she still isn't sleeping through the night.

[pearlvirus]

Ages of your LOs? 2y and 7m

Recent accomplishments? We put our house on the market! Lots of showings but no offer yet. I CANNOT wait for this moving business to be over.

Recent challenges or questions? I think DD2 may be one of those freaks that gets her canine teeth first. Her gums are swollen and the tips are poked through on both uppers. She is sleeping worse then ever before the only up side I can see is that we don't have to go through canine hell later. DD1 screamed for like 48 hours and then was fine... It's been at least 4/5 nights since DD2 stopped sleeping more than 2 hours at a time. So tired.

[katka512]

younglove316 getting dinner done and done on time is a big accomplishment to me! I don't even attempt to cook until after dd1 is in bed.
Does dd2 nap in her crib ever? Do you sleep train?

[RandomName]

Jun 13, 2016 16:55:02 GMT -5 @babylentilbean said:

katka512, don't feel guilty. It happens. Trust me, it likely won't be the last time you yell. Sometimes the frustration is just too much and we aren't as calm and patient as we would like to be.

+1

[RandomName]

Ages: M14 baby, 10.5 months

Accomplishments - I weaned DS! It feels so good to have my body back. It's been pregnant or breastfeeding since June 2013! DD is now fully potty trained. DS is starting to let go when walking. A lot of big advances have kept me pretty busy and off here recently.

Challenges - I'm heading back to work mid Aug and as it approaches I'm finding I'm not ready to go back. DD starts daycare the first week of July and DS starts the first week of Aug. It all is happening too fast and I can't believe DS will be 1 so soon.

[RandomName]

pearlvirus I hope you guys get an great offer soon! We lucked out and sold 4 days after being in the market. I couldn't imagine the stress of showings with two kids!

[RandomName]

Jun 13, 2016 7:20:20 GMT -5 katka512 said:

 I guess I need advice on what I can do when I'm home with them by myself.

Some days when DS would sleep, I'd let DD watch Tv so that I could just sit alone for a bit. Or plan an activity. Or whatever really. 

Do do you have a monitor? Could you still go outside while your LO sleeps with the monitor if your concerned?

inside activities:
- a plastic tote with sand/rice to play in with buckets etc. 
- a mini obstacle course
- let LO vaccuum, sweep, whatever Dd1 likes
- sort tupperware
- paint
- color
- do meal prep together (DD loves making smoothies)
- let DD1 help with chores you're already doing
- TV
- iPad game

i also struggle with activities sometimes and these are my go to's if we're inside. I try to get out a least twice - once for a walk and one to the park. And then any kid of outdoor play we can do. Both kids love the water table and play with that pretty much every nice evening while I make supper. 

Before DS was mobile and more independent I had a hard time finding balance and routine. 

You're doing a great job!

[Deleted]

Any advice to get L to freaking sleep?? I can't sleep train right now bc he doesn't have his own room. He seems to be stuck to me like glue. I can't even put him down anymore.

[RandomName]

@babylentilbean loud sound machine? That was our ticket to sleep.

[Deleted]

Jun 15, 2016 20:36:21 GMT -5 RandomName said:

@babylentilbean loud sound machine? That was our ticket to sleep.

I tried that a few nights but maybe I didn't have it up high enough. He is still sleeping in our room in the PNP. He wakes easily so hopefully that will help.

[RandomName]

Oh yeah, at first DS needed the sound machine super loud. Is he too warm/cool also?

I remember having DS in our room in the pnp. It sucked even just moving in bed. How long is he in your room for?

[katka512]

RandomName thanks for all the ideas. I don't think I worded my post clearly. I am having trouble coming up with ways to relieve my own stress when I am home with them all day and get no break.
The only way I can get them to nap at the same time is if I nurse dd2 to sleep while dd1 naps. But then she'll wake up if I put her down. So I usually end up just sitting there with her to get a bit of downtime. It doesn't feel like a break though since I'm still holding her.

But I do appreciate having more ideas for inside activities!

[RandomName]

Oh katka512, that's a whole different beast. I wasn't able to put DS down and he slept like shit until about 6 months. Not for everyone but I sleep trained at 6 months and that's what helped us out tremendously. I figured either I loose my sanity or I endure the training process (harder on me than DS).

But, some of my me things when the kids are around:
- coloring (I color my book while DD does)
- cooking
- folding clothes. DS plays in a pile and DD (M14) 'helps' fold.
- I listen to come podcasts to mentally occupy myself while playing with the kids sometimes

Generally, I try to make household chores "me" things so that when I do them it feels like a break from the kids even if they are right there.

[Deleted]

Jun 15, 2016 20:40:49 GMT -5 RandomName said:

Oh yeah, at first DS needed the sound machine super loud. Is he too warm/cool also?

I remember having DS in our room in the pnp. It sucked even just moving in bed. How long is he in your room for?

Our room stays pretty cool so he is in a summer sleeper and covered in his blanket. He sleeps better covered up bc I cover him when he is in bed with me.

He doesn't have his own room so he is in there until he STTN and can move to DD's room.

[younglove316]

Jun 15, 2016 13:49:09 GMT -5 katka512 said:

younglove316 getting dinner done and done on time is a big accomplishment to me! I don't even attempt to cook until after dd1 is in bed.
Does dd2 nap in her crib ever? Do you sleep train?

The longest stretch she has ever done in her crib was an hour and that was at bedtime :/ we are going out of town next week so I won't do anything before but once we get back I'm going to start with something.

[babycaps]

Hi!! Coming back to my home board!!
Miles is m14 and Lucci is 5 weeks now.
Thank god for daycare for M.
Accomplishments: I manage to do one load of laundry and dishes almost everyday.
But riddle me this: tomorrow, I'll be home alone with both kids. How the hell do I put Miles to sleep at night??? One kid or both will be crying a lot!!!

[younglove316]

babycaps good to see you! Do you have a gated or safe area you can put M to play? When I'm alone I let DD1 play in her toy room and close all the other rooms and gates while I put DD2 down. It's on the same level so I can keep an ear out.

[babycaps]

Jun 21, 2016 18:37:54 GMT -5 younglove316 said:

babycaps good to see you! Do you have a gated or safe area you can put M to play? When I'm alone I let DD1 play in her toy room and close all the other rooms and gates while I put DD2 down. It's on the same level so I can keep an ear out.

The whole place is safe, but ds2 is in the "i will nurse for two hours and only sleep on you" phase. I have a feeling he will be the one crying for about 20-30min:'(

[lakecountrygal]

babycaps Nights that I have to put DS to sleep and DH isn't home to help with DD I just take her with. We follow the same routine but she lays on my chest as we do it.

We both lay on his bed, I read stories for 20 minutes and then we semi-snuggle until he falls asleep. He understands that if daddy isn't home that DD has to come with for safety and he enjoys snuggling her before bed. Maybe find a way to incorporate your LO into the routine or bring a bouncy seat or a safe place for LO to sit/lay while you do the routine.

[babycaps]

Jun 21, 2016 19:16:17 GMT -5 lakecountrygal said:

babycaps Nights that I have to put DS to sleep and DH isn't home to help with DD I just take her with. We follow the same routine but she lays on my chest as we do it.

We both lay on his bed, I read stories for 20 minutes and then we semi-snuggle until he falls asleep. He understands that if daddy isn't home that DD has to come with for safety and he enjoys snuggling her before bed. Maybe find a way to incorporate your LO into the routine or bring a bouncy seat or a safe place for LO to sit/lay while you do the routine.

That's what I will have to do. Miles is still in a crib. We will make it work!! I'm pumping myself up for it!

[lakecountrygal]

Jun 21, 2016 19:17:59 GMT -5 babycaps said:

Jun 21, 2016 19:16:17 GMT -5 lakecountrygal said:

babycaps Nights that I have to put DS to sleep and DH isn't home to help with DD I just take her with. We follow the same routine but she lays on my chest as we do it.

We both lay on his bed, I read stories for 20 minutes and then we semi-snuggle until he falls asleep. He understands that if daddy isn't home that DD has to come with for safety and he enjoys snuggling her before bed. Maybe find a way to incorporate your LO into the routine or bring a bouncy seat or a safe place for LO to sit/lay while you do the routine.

That's what I will have to do. Miles is still in a crib. We will make it work!! I'm pumping myself up for it!

You can do it!! We moved DS to a twin bed before DD was born because he was screaming for hours on end in his crib. At least 6 nights a month if not more I'm on my own.

[fish8412]

Jun 21, 2016 18:25:54 GMT -5 babycaps said:

Hi!! Coming back to my home board!!
Miles is m14 and Lucci is 5 weeks now.
Thank god for daycare for M.
Accomplishments: I manage to do one load of laundry and dishes almost everyday.
But riddle me this: tomorrow, I'll be home alone with both kids. How the hell do I put Miles to sleep at night??? One kid or both will be crying a lot!!!

Congrats! I was wondering if you had your baby!