Crib Woes

[uclameghan]

Ugh.

For the first 4 months, the only way we could get Asher to sleep was on me. Slowly, as he got through the 4-month regression and his reflux improved, we moved to sleeping beside us, then sleeping in his swing, then in his crib. At first it wasnt long he'd stay in the crib, but then we stretched it out more and more. We also went from swaddle to Merlin and then Merlin to nothing. For whatever reason, for the past month he WILL NOT sleep longer than an hour in his crib. If I put him in our bed, he'll sleep 8-12 hours with maybe 1 or 2 binkie pop back ins.

How do I get him to sleep longer stretches in his mother-effing-crib? We don't mind cosleeping but it is getting harder as he's getting bigger and more active.

Also important to note: he is still very attached to his binkie, most nights he no longer needs a MOTN feed, he is reliant on is rocking him/holding him to fall asleep (awake but drowsy is a joke for him), and crib is in our room but we do have a nursery available for him.

Tl;dr - Help me get my kid in his own bed.

ETA: He also sleeps longer stretches in our bed WITHOUT us.

[euphony]

I wish I knew, my friend. I am in a similar situation.

[uclameghan]

Also - fuck this. Asher's been up all night. Nothing is working. I've tried everything tonight.

[eliza040502]

Do you think smell might have something to do with it? Try sleeping with his sheets for a few nights. Or maybe the mattress is too hard and he prefers something a bit softer? Could you flip his mattress to the softer side (if this considered safe to do)?

[London]

It won't be everyone's cup of tea, but I am tough love when it comes to sleeping locations. I hated cosleeping and for the longest time A would only sleep in her bouncer in the living room, and would wake up at every sound.

Eventually I just decided all sleep would be done in the crib, no transitions or half measures. Eventually she adjusted, I would still rock her and soothe her but put her in the crib every single time she so much as yawned or took a heavy blink. Eventually she got used to it. It wasn't fun or easy, but for me I would rather suffer through it once to reach the ideal end point.

Edit. Let my excessive use of word "eventually" suggest it's a shitty process haha

[xcrissx]

No advice, just solidarity. I'm right there with you.

I've actually gotten him to nap in his crib for 2+ hours but bedtime is a joke.

[hovenb]

What kind of mattress do you have? Is it really soft? Is it very different than his crib mattress? I bought a memory foam mattress pad for the crib (frowned upon) and that helped but now he's sleeping in the dockatot which is super soft and cozy but somehow it is still very safe. But F requires plush sleeping, maybe Asher needs some more softness.

[hovenb]

Also, huge pain in the butt but what if you moved your mattress on the floor of his room to get him used to his room? I do think the tough love approach is probably better, but I was always trying to find ways to ease F into the crib because it made me feel better.

[ladymary11]

No first hand experience with it but I've been hearing that the dockatot is magic. It's pricey though so it would be a last resort type thing for me.

[emejay]

I agree with the fact that babies are more sensitive to sounds and movement at this age and he *might* need his own space.

As I said in the other thread, A sleeps with his binkie and we see no problem with that. He has gotten used to putting hit back in his mouth himself.

Good luck with whatever you try. I think that consistency is what will make a difference or so I hope!!!

[ugotstarbucked]

He has to learn that the crib is for sleeping. The only way to do that is to put him in there. Maybe time for some sleep training?

FWIW my DD was a binky and rock to sleep kid, until I decided I'd had enough of her needing me (and only me) to help her sleep. She was a Lolno sort of kid about drowsy but awake until we taught her that she could put herself to sleep. It's a learned skill. Now she usually falls asleep in less than 15 minutes, in her crib, with no paci. It's been life changing for me.

[obie1680]

No real advice since both my kids were just ready and wanted their own space. I did put a receiving blanket in the crib that I had slept with for the first couple of weeks. When they wake up I don't rush in I let them see if they can put themselves back down. Most of the time it works. I know once I go in that room it's game over and we are co-sleeping. In the beginning with Val I was kinda quick to get her if she cried MOTN because I didn't want her to wake DS, but he never wakes up because of her noise so I got over that quick. I hope you find a groove that works since it sounds like A is ready to sleep better on his own.

[uclameghan]

20 minutes of whining, tossing and turning, and a little crying...put himself to sleep and took an hour nap. We tried doing check ins first nap and it just wound him up more, so I think we're going to have to stay out of sight.

Was that a win?

So tell me what to do in the MOTN if he wakes up after hour.

[beane]

Jun 18, 2016 15:54:33 GMT -5 uclameghan said:

20 minutes of whining, tossing and turning, and a little crying...put himself to sleep and took an hour nap. We tried doing check ins first nap and it just wound him up more, so I think we're going to have to stay out of sight.

Was that a win?

So tell me what to do in the MOTN if he wakes up after hour.

Both of my kids just got more wound up by the checking and dos better being left alone

[ugotstarbucked]

Jun 18, 2016 15:54:33 GMT -5 uclameghan said:

20 minutes of whining, tossing and turning, and a little crying...put himself to sleep and took an hour nap. We tried doing check ins first nap and it just wound him up more, so I think we're going to have to stay out of sight.

Was that a win?

So tell me what to do in the MOTN if he wakes up after hour.

Let him try to self soothe. Elle only cries longer than 5 minutes if she needs to eat. Give him at least 5 minutes (time it). After that, You can try going in, shushing, patting his back/rubbing his head, and walking back out. I recommend trying not to pick up because it can send a mixed message.

An hour crib nap earlier sounds great to me! We usually get anywhere from 45 min to 90 with an hour being typical.

[crystaleyes138]

Jun 18, 2016 15:54:33 GMT -5 uclameghan said:

20 minutes of whining, tossing and turning, and a little crying...put himself to sleep and took an hour nap. We tried doing check ins first nap and it just wound him up more, so I think we're going to have to stay out of sight.

Was that a win?

So tell me what to do in the MOTN if he wakes up after hour.

Sounds like his self soothing is working for naps. When he wakes up MOTN does he need a binkie? Is he wide awake and moving around, or is he just transitioning? Jacob wakes up MOTN when he needs a binkie, but we pop it in and he falls back to sleep. Sometimes it takes a little longer.

[uclameghan]

I can't even believe it.

So after the 40 mins of crying to put himself to sleep (which SUCKED), he slept 9:30-6:30 in his crib. Woke a couple of times but whined for less than a minute, then I heard him pop his binkie back in and go to sleep. We didn't even have to get up to fix things in the MOTN.

I am literally stunned.

[crystaleyes138]

uclameghan, yayyyyyy! Isn't it amazing when they figure things out themselves? Jacob has been doing better with getting himself back to sleep too. Asher might have some setbacks here and there, but just keep it in the back of your head, "he can do this, he's done it before!".