Crying/separation anxiety

[kleigh926]

Does anyone else's Feb. 13 child seem to have separation anxiety or fears about unfamiliar situations? Here are some examples of DD's behavior (these things have been going on for many months): she cries every single time we drop her off at Sunday school- same class, same teachers, every week. She usually cries when either DH or I leave to go somewhere without her. She cries if we leave her with a family member to babysit, all of whom she sees at least weekly and is very comfortable with. Within the past 6 months there have been 2 opportunities for her to sing in church with a large group of children- she has had meltdowns on stage both times.

And most maddeningly, she has been crying at every single bedtime and quiet time for about 3 months, ever since we got rid of the pacifier. She always says she doesn't want us to leave or doesn't want to go to bed. Not only am I sick of this behavior, but in a month we are going on vacation and will all be sleeping in the same room. If she cries and wakes up DS it will be a nightmare because it's very difficult to get him to go back to sleep and I'm pretty sure every time we would leave the room she'd start to cry again. Being in an unfamiliar room and bed would be enough to make her cry even without the pattern of crying every night. I don't know what to do about it and I don't understand why every situation like this makes her so afraid and/or starts a crying fit. Anyone else have experience with this?

[brachysira]

My child throws a fit at every bedtime and pretty much doesn't do quiet time, although I may reinstate it once DS moves to his own room--and I'm sure that will lead to fits every bedtime. For us, this is about strong will and wanting to play all night rather than separation, I think. My child never looks back when we drop her off, and part of this is her, but part of it is that we've been doing storytimes, playgroups, and every other thing like that for as long as she's been around. I think that probably helps. We know another 3 year-old who is terrified to even participate in anything--like she goes to a movement class and won't even go in and hides, even though her mom is with her. So I think there is a range, and your child is normal, although maybe it would help you to just go to more parks, playgroups, storytimes, or classes. I don't think some people ever feel comfortable singing in church and I probably won't not do that until she's begging you to let her.

We just went camping and our kids both hate bed. We ended up driving them around to get them to sleep. When in hotels, we get DD a pack n play and another for her brother--otherwise they won't calm down. Then it's many threats about lying down for DD...not really ideal, but it's all we could think of...

[pinkie]

Z goes through phases. We had a few weeks right at 3 where he cried every day at daycare drop ff and then suddenly he was ok again. He has been ok since.

We have off and on issues at bed. He cries sometimes he doesn't want to go. Just tonight him and I had a long talk about how he's scared to be alone in a dark room. We do have two night lights on. He told me he's afraid a monster will come get him. I told him all the reasons he is ok (doors are locked, we have a dog who would bark at anything strange in the house and how we are right down stairs) and then he seemed to be ok. But yes he has the fears. He tells me about dreams he has, most seem silly but sometimes they are scary.

[crimsonandclover]

90% of the time DD2 (Feb child) is difficult to put to bed and throws a fit. It has gotten better - this spring it was truly awful. I'm hoping it continues to improve.

DD2 is usually good about going places without us (Sunday School, preschool, friends' houses to play), but DD1 is always with her. She does occasionally shed a few tears at Sunday School, but otherwise is ok. She was never one to have serious stranger anxiety, though. DD1, on the other hand, had a very prolonged, very intense stranger anxiety phase and to this day it's hard to get her to do things alone. She's 5. I think a lot depends on the child. At this point I'd say what your describing sounds like it's still within the normal range, but your pedi will know that better than I.

[creepyeyeball]

DD2 never really goes anywhere without me. I guess she goes to grandparents' houses, but she has siblings with her so she's fine.

DD1 was at my MILs for a few days in June and DD2 flipped out. She had no idea what to do with herself withiut her sissie and couldn't sleep st night (they share a bed). I found them this morning asleep while literally hugging, DD2 with her leg over DD1. They are like siamese twins.

So I guess she couldn't care less about me. Her separation anxiety is with her sister.

[pinkie]

Jun 30, 2016 10:07:58 GMT -5 creepyeyeball said:

DD2 never really goes anywhere without me. I guess she goes to grandparents' houses, but she has siblings with her so she's fine.

DD1 was at my MILs for a few days in June and DD2 flipped out. She had no idea what to do with herself withiut her sissie and couldn't sleep st night (they share a bed). I found them this morning asleep while literally hugging, DD2 with her leg over DD1. They are like siamese twins.

So I guess she couldn't care less about me. Her separation anxiety is with her sister.

That's really sweet that they are so strongly bonded

[dc2london]

Jun 30, 2016 6:38:56 GMT -5 @uncaripswife said:

K is very shy and hesitant in unfamiliar situations. She will cling and clam up, which is unusual because she usually talks non stop. There have been times when she pleads with us not to go. This week she is signed up for an hour a day nature camp and she cried Monday and Tuesday. I don't have any advice, just commiseration.

This. We are in a big "shy/apprehensive" phase. He longed for months to go in Smaland st Ikea with his brother but now that he is tall enough and PT he won't go in without me

[mishka29]

Feb kid can act shy and hesitant in new situations or around people she knows. It seems like she picks and chooses though when she's going to act shy.

Bed time. Yes there is crying but usually for attention. When you open the door back up and ask what she wants she's surprised and says "ummm I want....ummm....I want....I want....something....ummm...my Chapstick". Oh yes, I can see that was an urgent request. She does have a lamp on as well. Now we are into the requests for a 1 minute cuddle before bed. Although if she cries when we leave (running after us and baying on the door too) she doesn't get one the next night.