Almost everything that comes out of my MIL's mouth belongs in this thread. I'll have to ask DH about some of her best ones since he's the only one who speaks to her.
Before we get too far down the road of unwanted advice for little babies, I want to share my personal pet peeve about 1 year olds and car seats.
You do not need to turn your kid's car seat forward because their feet touch the seat. I don't care how much of a giant you think your 1 year old is, they can cross their legs or let their legs hang to the side. You'd think the way people talk about it that their 1 year old is 6'5" or something...
And no, I'm not interested in you telling me how much more DS would like car rides if he was forward facing.
Mil said We should have another baby.....less than 24 hours after LO was born while we were still in the hospital!!!! We are done and have told everyone such.
We have gotten significantly less advice with #2.
Oh and we should spank DS1 even though we have said repeatedly that we don't agree with it and won't do it.
Ok I just went back to my texts with DH and the latest thing that his mom sent to him is that to calm a colicky baby, you should peal potatoes and put the potato skins in the baby's socks. There was also something in there about dipping their socks in rum too...
I'm just glad she didn't suggest having the baby ingest the rum. I actually consider that advice a step up for her.
Before we get too far down the road of unwanted advice for little babies, I want to share my personal pet peeve about 1 year olds and car seats.
You do not need to turn your kid's car seat forward because their feet touch the seat. I don't care how much of a giant you think your 1 year old is, they can cross their legs or let their legs hang to the side. You'd think the way people talk about it that their 1 year old is 6'5" or something...
And no, I'm not interested in you telling me how much more DS would like car rides if he was forward facing.
2 is the law in my state and was the recommendation when DS was born in 2011 so we got lots of flak for keeping him RF "soooo long!!!"
The baby is mainly formula fed due to my low supply. My mom keeps going on and on about her 'iron enriched' formula, iron being upsetting to baby's stomachs. Well almost ALL formulas have iron in them because babies need iron in their diet and could get very sick otherwise.
Not advice really but people always try to hold her in a cradle position, despite me mentioning that she likes to be held upright, even showing them how she likes to held, she HATES the cradle hold. Then she gets really fussy with everyone and they wonder why.
Any 'advice' related to sleep gets an immediate evil eye from me. Do not try to give me baby sleep advice based on your distorted experience 30 years ago or based on babies who would happily and easily fall asleep anywhere.
I will add in one good piece of advice which I am putting into practice much more this time around. It's okay to let you baby cry for a bit. And actually I think my babies sometimes need to get a good cry out of their system before being able to settle down/sleep (e.g. just a few minutes at this age but I often time it as 3 minutes of crying can seem like much much longer).
Before we get too far down the road of unwanted advice for little babies, I want to share my personal pet peeve about 1 year olds and car seats.
You do not need to turn your kid's car seat forward because their feet touch the seat. I don't care how much of a giant you think your 1 year old is, they can cross their legs or let their legs hang to the side. You'd think the way people talk about it that their 1 year old is 6'5" or something...
And no, I'm not interested in you telling me how much more DS would like car rides if he was forward facing.
2 is the law in my state and was the recommendation when DS was born in 2011 so we got lots of flak for keeping him RF "soooo long!!!"
I wish 2 was the law in my state. It's still 1 here, but I have heard talk of it changing to 2.
My MiL had P outside the other day on a hot sunny windy day. She had her all wrapped up in a muslin blanket even up over her head. I was fine with this for sun reasons but then she said something like she didn't want "the wind to take her breath away". I just smiled.
My parents were shocked at the rear facing until 2 rule. They both were like that is crazy 2 is way too big. Nope parents that is the rule.
csat I was reading a French parenting book and that cry for a bit thing is something they do as a practice over there. They let their babies cry for like a min or two before picking them up to see if they will settle on their own.
My mom likes to say that I know too much now with all the information out there online and that I am worried about all the wrong things. Apparently weight gain is a wrong thing. And she loves to call me "such a FTM" for wanting to do things like rinse a pacifier after it falls in dirt. Yes mom I am a FTM and so were you once. At least she doesn't mind the pacifier. My MIL doesn't believe in them cause we shouldn't try to mask DD's cries. "Babies cry for a reason and pacifiers are just a way to shut them up without taking the time to figure out why" Giant eye roll.
Post by carolinaheart on Jul 7, 2016 12:13:48 GMT -5
My sister was legitimately upset with me because I won't be giving L solids as soon as she would like. (Her kids had them at 3 months and they're fine!)
She's mad because she wants to give her her first bite of ice cream. Seriously.
Post by ArgyleEnigma on Jul 7, 2016 12:14:00 GMT -5
We haven't gotten anything annoying, but I was disturbed to learn that social workers told my ILs (they foster babies) that stomach sleeping is best, and sleeping in a car seat is safer than flat on their back. Because of spit up. I really hope that advice was because of special medical conditions for the babies they get, like being drug exposed, because otherwise holy crap.
My dad and I giggled at my mom a bit when she was worried that "wind was getting in the baby's mouth". Still not entirely sure what that means. A relative suggested I start letting DS cry it out at 2 weeks old. I have started letting him cry for a minute or two when I know he is fed and clean because I can see him working on those self-soothing skills, but it is way too early for cry it out!
People in general seem to have a lot of opinions on how too hot or too cold your baby might be. I was in the grocery store with the baby in the bjorn the other day and a random lady said 'oh you better get that baby home soon she looks cold'. The baby was fast asleep, very content and I assure you just fine temperature wise.
People in general seem to have a lot of opinions on how too hot or too cold your baby might be. I was in the grocery store with the baby in the bjorn the other day and a random lady said 'oh you better get that baby home soon she looks cold'. The baby was fast asleep, very content and I assure you just fine temperature wise.
So much concern here too! Oh, you should put socks on her, her feet will get cold.... umm we're outside and it's 95 degrees. Her toes are just fine.
Post by woodengirl07 on Jul 7, 2016 13:44:46 GMT -5
Crazy and outdated parenting advice is one of the biggest reasons that I'm apprehensive about my mother-in-law having my baby alone. Her oldest kid is 49 so I get that things have changed since 1967, but she doesn't seem to listen well.
For example: She has told me that babies shouldn't put their hands in their mouths (I don't agree, but how would you even stop them?)
Story- when my husband was three months old they moved from Dallas which is about a 10 hour drive. She wore my husband in a front pack the entire drive, so he was a sandwich in between her and the steering wheel. I told her point-blank that if that was today she would be arrested.
Post by greysonsmom on Jul 7, 2016 13:46:44 GMT -5
My mil is always concerned with my children's temperature. Monday we were at the lake, it was over 90. She told me to take DS's rash guard off so he didn't get cold.
Post by frecklesnbrains on Jul 7, 2016 14:21:44 GMT -5
This thread is great. babyzebra, I think you win with the potato peels in the socks (wtf?!?)
My stepmother is obsessed with LO's digestive tract. Every single time he fusses she says "Oh, you're working on a bubble aren't you?" or "Pooping is so hard, I know!", etc. When in truth he's really just hungry or tired or any one of the other standard reasons why babies fuss. She then goes on to make a comment about how it must be because of fill-in-the-blank food I ate earlier (yogurt, cabbage, baked beans, ice cream, salad, bread, etc.) This is a major pet peeve of mine - leave the breastfeeding women alone in terms of their diet! All babies are gassy to a certain extent and I'll eat what I want, thank you.
frecklesnbrains, my MIL said the same thing re. my eating. Only it was merely the fact that I ate - nothing specific. "(Baby) is really gassy - must be because you had breakfast today." Ummm, what?
DH cracks me up with his concern about the baby's temperature. This kid tends to run warm and it's been in the 90s all week. I came downstairs yesterday to him wearing a long sleeve onesie and fleece pants and DH couldn't figure out why he was fussy. I took the pants off of him and he miraculously calmed right down!
I was also judged last weekend for taking the baby to the fireworks because it could damage his hearing and he's "too young to be out in public." Nevermind the fact that we were watching from at least a mile away, he was properly clothed so he wasn't too cold, and they were nowhere near as loud as the random fireworks my neighbor kept setting off all weekend literally right over our house.
Yes! why do older ladies think babies are cold all the time! My MIL and her friends have gifted us like a million tiny knit caps and I get the side-eye when she isn't wearing one.
Before we get too far down the road of unwanted advice for little babies, I want to share my personal pet peeve about 1 year olds and car seats.
You do not need to turn your kid's car seat forward because their feet touch the seat. I don't care how much of a giant you think your 1 year old is, they can cross their legs or let their legs hang to the side. You'd think the way people talk about it that their 1 year old is 6'5" or something...
And no, I'm not interested in you telling me how much more DS would like car rides if he was forward facing.
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Amen!!! My mom and mother in law acted like I was weird for this one. *insert eye roll emoji*
This thread is great. I get more advice from family members now about my toddler who is a very very picky eater or than I do about babies. When DS was a baby, I got a few comments about how I shouldn't take him out in public so early when going places like target. One time I was in line at target and he was crying, I was trying to give him a paci but he was still crying. The checkout clerk, an older woman, said, "I don't think he wants the Pacifier, you need to stop giving it to him!" I wanted to tell her the alternative is for me to whip out my boob (which I have no problem with but was obviously trying to get out of a store!) and to shut up.
This thread is great. I get more advice from family members now about my toddler who is a very very picky eater or than I do about babies.
I feel the same way. I get way more unsolicited advice now that DS is a toddler than I ever did when he was a baby. Everyone has an opinion on car seats, when you should potty train, sippy cups, discipline methods, diet, etc. That's why I think it's so important to shut that down when they're babies.
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